My Guardian Vampire

I shut my eyes, letting more tears fall. He wiped some of them off before I felt his hand leave my face. I opened my eyes, and his hand was on his stomach, apparently too weak to stay up any longer. The guys now backed off and my friends went to them, comforting their loved ones in this moment of death.

“Hey Green, read my mind,” Billie said, smiling. I didn’t know what he meant.

“You can,” Damien said from behind me. I had almost forgotten he was there. I didn’t question it, for I felt that time was slipping quickly. I closed my eyes lightly, and concentrated, unsure of how the hell I would do it. I then closed my eyes tightly and focused harder, determined, grabbing his hand.

‘Billie?’ I thought questioningly. I felt a sense of… something indescribable. I pushed myself harder in my mind, trying to speak in his. I focused everything on trying to go with that feeling, shutting off my mind to everything else but myself and him. I tried to will myself into him.

‘Billie?’ I thought again.

‘Yes love?’ I heard him think. My eyes open wide and I shrieked, making Gerard laugh a strangled laugh as he looked at me. I looked at him once before I shut my eyes again, finding it easier to concentrate with my eyes closed.

‘Billie, why did you make me read your-’

‘Because at the moment it’s too tiring to talk. And I wanted you to know you could, so you don’t have to find that out on your own when you get married to Gerard.’

‘I can read Gerard’s mind if I get married?’

‘You might already be able to. I wish I could tell you all that you can do, but there’s no more time.’

‘Billie, maybe my blood can help.’

‘No, now is my time to die. Two hundred years is a pretty fucking good run.’

‘But-’

“No!” I heard Billie say aloud. I opened my eyes to look at him.

‘I didn’t mean to get you upset.’

‘It’s okay, I just need you to get the message. I don’t think I have much time left.’

I looked at him, still holding his hands. Now it didn’t matter if it was easier to have my eyes closed, I need to see his last moments alive.

‘Ali, can you ask Gerard if he’s okay with you kissing me? That is, if you will?’

‘Of course,’ I thought, smiling. ‘Gerard-’

‘You have to say it aloud, Ali.’

“Whoops,” I said aloud instead. I cringed at my stupidity.

‘Damnit!’ I cursed in Billie’s head, making him smile.

“Gerard, Billie wants to know… If I can kiss him before he dies.” Gerard looked at Billie questioningly.

“You’re asking me for permission?” Gerard asked.

‘Yes, I am,’ I heard Billie think. ‘You’re Gerard’s, and Gerard is yours. You always have been.’

“Yes, he is,” I said, relaying the message. Billie looked at Gerard and smiled. “He says I’m yours, and I always have been.”

“You’re not anybody’s,” Gerard said, now looking at me. But he smiled. “But if he wants to know if it’s okay with me, sure.”

‘Will you kiss me goodbye?’ Billie thought, looking now at me, frowning slightly.

‘Of course,’ I said in his head. I leaned over, and kissed the lips that were stained slightly with my own blood. I didn’t care. I kissed him softly and lightly, knowing it would be the last time I ever felt the perfect-shaped lips on my own again. I hoped he could know, could feel how much I did love him—how wonderful he was, how there could be no blame or shame for what happened. All was forgiven—and I was so heartbroken to see him go.

“Now sleep,” I said, pulling away only slightly, hovering above him, holding his face dearly. “Okay? You deserved it. I love you, Billie.” I gave him one last peck on the cheek, his cheek slightly red from the blood now on my own lips. He closed his eyes as he gave me the edge of a smile. He breathed in, and out, and in again.

He gave out one exhale, and his hand slowly became limp in my own.

I felt the oddest feeling… His hand became slightly warmer, as if he was never a vampire at all, only human. For a moment I believed he wasn’t dead, and I expected his chest to fill up again, the life springing back into him-

But he was gone, his body unmoving. Gerard got up and walked around, and then kneeled down. I was still watching Billie, praying that he would come back to life. He had never deserved to die, no matter what anyone else thought. He had done what anyone else would have done in that type of overwhelming loneliness. He had in fact been stronger than I could have imagined anyone else to be.

No, Billie Joe did not deserve to die. He just needed some sleep.

“Ali,” Gerard said, touching my shoulder. I looked to him, still stuck, feeling the familiar touches of grief over a lost friend. Gerard must have seen this, for he said nothing. He took my hand out of Billie’s and helped me up. The tiredness suddenly hit me, and I nearly collapsed. Gerard took me in his arms and carried me gently, letting my head rest into his shoulder.

“Gerard,” I protested softly, trying to fight off sleep. “We can’t leave him there, with everyone looking at him.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Gerard said, the world now becoming darker. I didn’t know if it was from sleepiness or that we were just out of the lighted room, now walking down the hallway and out of the church. “Billie’s not there anymore, even if his body is. Let me take care of you first.”

“They don’t deserve him,” I went on, now in that space between awake and sleep where whatever you say doesn’t make sense when you say it. I tried to explain myself, knowing it needed to be said and understood. “They didn’t do anything for him. He was there for them, he did everything, and they did nothing when he was hurt.”

“No, I know, they don’t deserve him,” Gerard said. I tried opening my eyes to look at him, making sure he really understood what I was saying. I needed him to know, now.

I managed to finally open my eyes. It was still nighttime, but the lights from the city made it even harder to keep my eyes open as they searched Gerard’s face.

“Billie Joe was good,” I said, still looking at Gerard. He looked at me as he continued to walk. I could see the sky behind him beginning to lighten slightly as the sun gave its fair warning that it was soon going to be dawn.

“Yes, he was good. I know he was,” Gerard said, and I looked at him again.

“He was good,” I repeated, trying to reinstate the fact as if he had disagreed.

“He was good,” Gerard agreed. He smiled as he looked at my sleepy state. He then leaned down and gave me an Eskimo kiss, rubbing our noses together lightly before pulling away.

He looked at me again, his figure blinking out as my eyes grew heavier.

“Thank you Gerard,” I said, my eyes now remaining closed. I snuggled my head into his chest. “You saved me again.”

“I love you too Ali,” I heard him say, hearing the smile in his voice. I smiled, keeping my eyes closed. “Now just sleep.”

“I love you My Guardian Vampire,” I said, smiling more.

I heard Gerard laugh aloud before I fell into a long, deep sleep.