Status: Active
Not The American Average
13
I shook my head and sat on the couch.
"So, what are we going to do now?"
"Truth or dare? Shots?" Cam suggested.
"Eh, truth or dare works for me," James shrugged.
We all sat in a circle where I was the main target.
"Abree, truth or dare?"
"Truth,"
"Is it true you love Danny?"
"That was 3 years ago."
"But you used to, right?"
"Yeah..I also used to love Ben."
"Why not anymore?"
"I haven't seen Ben in 3 years. He turned to a man whore, he`s not who I once knew."
"How long have you loved me?" Danny interrupted.
"Ever since I met you."
"I loved you. That was the biggest mistake of my life."
My eyes started watering.
"Why didn't you tell me you liked me?"
"I didn't want to hurt you, if I told you, you would've had to expect something and I didn't want to tear you down."
I put my head down, "You thought right, thanks Danny. Protected me to later break my heart."
I got up, looking up and locking eyes with Ben. His expression sad. A tear escaped my eye as I looked down. He started walking towards me as I ran to the bus door and jumped out. I ran far down the venue and hid behind a wall and slid down. My head hid in my arms as my knees were against my chest.
______________________BEN P.O.V.__________________________
"I didn't want to hurt you, if I told you, you would've had to expect something and I didn't want to tear you down."
Danny, you dumb fuck I thought.
Abree put her head down and took a sharp breath of air, "You thought right, thanks Danny. Protected me to later break my heart."
She got up and looked straight at me. Hurt was clouding her eyes, my expression sad as she looked down again. I walked towards her as she ran to the door and jumped out. Everyone stared at the door. I turned towards Danny.
"What the fuck, Danny?!"
"I don`t know! I didn't think she`d react like that!"
"You`ve known her longer than any of us, how do you not know how she would react?!"
"I guess I don't, Ben, or I wouldn't have said that."
"Un-fucking-believable," I growled, walking out the bus in search for Abree.
_________________
"Abree, where are you?" Receiving no answer, I sighed.
Fuck, Abree, I care about you, please don`t be gone. I thought.
I walked past a wall and saw her, I stopped and turned. Abree looked straight at me, her expression blank.
"Abree.."
"Fuck off."
"No. Tell me whats wrong."
"I said fuck off!"
"And I said no!"
"Ben.."
"Abree.."
"Fuck off."
I sat beside her, being as much of a stubborn cunt as she was.
She groaned, "you guys were my life, all of you left me in England all by myself, all of you lied to me telling me we would always keep in touch. Not a single phone call was made to me, nothing."
"Abree, i`m still who I was before all this happened. That little time I had with you was great for me. Yes, I must admit that when I met you I only wanted to fuck you then leave you, but once I got to know you I started having feelings for you. Before long I was in love with you. That day I left I was heartbroken. Ask Danny, I was a wreck. I turned to sex, booze and drugs to make me forget you. That's how I got to this place. All those things I pushed onto myself made me forget about you completely. Danny was the same, he did those things with me."
"I call bullshit."
"What?"
"I said, I call bullshit. If you wanted to talk to me again because you 'loved' me, you would've kept in contact. You don't know how bad I was when all of my life drove away. I cried for weeks, Ben, weeks. I shut myself up inside my room, not talking for weeks. I barely ate. My parents got fed up with me and shoved me out into the daylight to find something else to do than just sulk in my dark room. I met a boy in a bar. We fucked, yeah, but it wasn't great. I was used to you, he wasn't pleasurable for me. It brought back memories that made me cry and leave, leaving me to sulk again in my room. I finally got sick of myself sulking. I looked for your new place called 'home' and moved here, hoping I would see all of you again and here we are. I wish I never met you, Ben. You made my life living hell when you drove away. Not everything is sex, drugs, rock and roll. Its about the music. Just because your fucking famous doesn't mean its the greatest feeling to have fucking groupies lining up in a fucking line waiting for you to fuck them for a night then move to another location and do the same god damn thing. Its not about the drugs either. I`m sure your favorite artists are prime examples of druggies, why? Because they`re fucking dead. Dead and buried six fucking feet deep. Having them die should`ve made warning signs in your fucking head to not do those and you still choose to. You saying you`re not a good role model is the fucking truth." She said coldly.
"Abree, what happened to you?"
"Reality happened."
"No, what happened, really."
"I`m not who I used to be. I`m a bitch, i`m not a sweetheart anymore. I`m not a little selfish, helpless cunt like I was back then."
"I can see that," I scoffed.
She glared at me and got up.
"Where are you going?"
She didn't answer me, I got up and sped up to her.
"I said where are you going?!"
"Fuck off, Ben."
"Answer me dammit!"
"I SAID FUCK OFF!"
I grabbed her arm and jerked her sideways.
"What the fuck do you want?"
"I want you to answer me."
"Fine, what did you say?" She jerked her arm away.
"Where are you going?"
"Wouldn't you like to know.." She started walking again.
"Abree! Get your ass back here now!"
"Go to hell, Ben. I`m not your fucking slave."
I ran and jerked her again, getting in her face.
"What did you just say to me?"
"I said i`m not your fucking slave."
I slapped her across the cheek. She jerked her head down.
I realized what I had done, "I`m so sorry, Abree. I didn't mean to, it was a reaction. I`m so so so sorry!"
She looked up at me, my hand print glowing.
"Abree, i`m sorry." I whispered.
She pushed me and walked away. "Fuck you, Ben. FUCK YOU."
"Whats the matter? Abree? I want to know, I really care about you!" I yelled to her.
"Sure you do!"
She got to her car and was unlocking it when I ran and pushed her up against it.
"No, Ben! Get away from me!"
I turned her towards me and kissed her passionately. Everything I loved about her showing in the kiss.
No matter how much I didn't want to pull away I had to. I looked at her face as her eyes opened and stared into my eyes. She smiled lightly and put a hand on my cheek.
"Oh, Ben. Benji boy..." She slapped me as hard as I hit her, "Fuck off, ass wipe."
I looked at her as her expression was empty. I looked into her eyes and stayed that way. She didn't move, nothing, just stared back at me. I put my hands on her face and pulled her in for another kiss. She didn't resist and deepened it. Our lips moving in sync with each other. We broke away for air and we smiled at each other.
"I hate loving you," She whispered.
"And I hate loving you as well, never ends happily." I smiled.
She smiled and pecked me on the lips before pushing me away.
"What are you doing?" I grabbed her hand.
"Ben...I-I..have to go. If I stay here the same thing will happen like it did last time. Me heartbroken and you changed."
"Not if you stay on tour with me, please?"
"Nobody elses girlfriend stays on tour, i`m not going to either. We aren't even dating."
"So? Camerons girlfriend was like one before he asked her out. She stayed on tour with us and everything. She got to stay with Cameron. They`re still together!"
"But does she tour everyday with him now?"
"No..but.."
"Exactly, Ben. It wasn't meant to be."
"Abree! How can you say that?"
"Because you don't love me. We both know this."
"Abree please! Stay with me!"
"Why?"
"I want to see your beautiful face every time I wake up in the morning or afternoon!"
"All you want me for it sex, Ben. I`m not an idiot."
"That's not what I want you for! I want you to be mine!"
"I`ll think about it. Night, Ben. I`m going home." She opened her door and got in. I stopped her from closing it.
"Can I go with you? Please?"
She looked at me and thought about it, sighing. "Fine, get your lanky ass in the car."
I smiled and walked to my side and got in.
------
"Welcome to my humble abode." She said, yawning and throwing her keys onto the counter.
"Nice place you got."
"Thanks."
"Wheres your photo album?"
"Right there, look at it if you want." She walked to her room.
Don't mind if I do. I thought to myself.
I was busy looking through the album to notice that Abree was only in panties and a shirt. Minding her own business making tea.
I looked at her and smiled. She turned to me, "What?"
"Why are you dressed like that? Do you want something to happen tonight?"
She looked down at what she was wearing. "This is my sleeping attire." She turned back towards her brewing tea.
I closed the book and got up. She didn't notice. I wrapped my arms around her waist. She lifted her head up and I kissed her forehead. She smiled and fixed the tea to its cups. Two, for her and I.
I took the cup, "Thank you." I sipped my tea.
"You're very welcome." She sipped as well. I followed her into the living room and let her put her feet onto my lap. I rested my hand on her leg and looked at her.
She looked at me, again, still sipping her tea. "Yes?" She asked, sleepy in her voice.
"Nothing. I just wanted to, you know..."
"No..I don't know, Ben. Explain it to me."
I sighed, "I was hoping we could fuck."
She lowered her cup and stared at me. "Good night, Ben." She said as she got up and walked to her room.
"Where am I supposed to sleep?"
"The couch, dumb fuck." She hissed as she slammed her bedroom door.
I sighed and grabbed a pillow and stuffed it under my head and shifted around. I fell silent and heard her rustle around in her room, sheets being pulled, door being opened and a toilet running and a flick of a light. She sighed loudly and I heard the sheets ruffle some more.
I smiled and tried to sleep. After 2 hours of trying, I gave up. I hummed a tune in my head and stopped abruptly hearing sounds come from her room. She was talking in her sleep very loudly.
"Don't! Please! I beg of you! Don't touch me! Help! Help me! Someone please, help me!" She screamed as I heard muffled crying. "No! It hurts! Stop! Help!"
I jumped off the couch and opened the door to see her having a awful nightmare as she started talking again.
"Please, don't do this to me, please, I want to be let go, please let me go!" She screamed. I ran to her and shook her shoulders violently.
"Abree! Wake up! Its just a nightmare! Wake up! Everything is OK!" I screamed. She stirred in her sleep as more tears ran down her face.
She looked me in the eyes and collapsed into my chest. "B-Ben, ple-ease d-don't leave m-m-me," She cried, holding onto me as if I might slip away.
"Its going to be OK, baby, its going to be OK, do you want to talk about what your dream was?" I ask. Shushing and trying to calm her.
"Y-yes, I think you should know."
"Go on then, babe."
"The dream was about me getting beaten. It wasn't a dream, though. It was a memory. A memory of the time when I was walking the streets alone one night and guys decided to beat me, not rape me for which i`m grateful for, but beat me senseless. They allowed me to live, they had all their anger out. The memory came back to haunt me. It does every night." She whimpered, crying more tears.
I was in shock, what disgusting fuck would do that to her? I know. The drunken 'I can do whatever the fuck I want' men.
I sat beside her and rocked her, telling her it was going to be OK, I was here. Nothing was going to happen. Everything. She finally calmed down where she was just sniffling. I guessed she was good to go back to sleep again and I got off the bed.
"W-where are you going?" She shakingly said.
"Going back to the couch, why babe?"
"I need you h-here. Please."
I turned back towards her and climbed onto the bed once again. Holding onto her.
"B-Ben?"
"Yes?"
"You can shed off your clothes to just your boxers. You are going to be sleeping in here with me."
I did as I was told and was coaxed under the sheets with her. It was so warm being under the blankets from her cold room. I wrapped my arms around her as she snuggled as much as she could into me.
"Abree?"
"Yes?"
"I love you."
"..I-I love you too, Ben."
"I really mean it when I say it, Bree."
"I hope so, because I mean it when I say it."
"I know you do, now go to sleep, babe. Long day of fun tomorrow so get your rest."
"Alright," she sighed, snuggling even more into me until her breathing became slow. I kissed her forehead and let out a sigh. Now I can finally sleep.
_______________________________________________________________________
Sorry it took so long to get this chapter out. I wrote it, waited a few days, read it, changed the parts I didn't like, left it alone, then did the same thing. This chapter has had a lot of changes put into it. I was going to wait longer till I was absolutely happy with it. But I read it again after a week or 2 and changed it even more. I think i`m happy with it.
I hope you guys are happy that it is such a long chapter. I hope you are all happy with the outcome of this, now you will have to wait a long time till the 14th chapter is out. Process of taking your time to erase mistakes and put something better takes awhile.
"So, what are we going to do now?"
"Truth or dare? Shots?" Cam suggested.
"Eh, truth or dare works for me," James shrugged.
We all sat in a circle where I was the main target.
"Abree, truth or dare?"
"Truth,"
"Is it true you love Danny?"
"That was 3 years ago."
"But you used to, right?"
"Yeah..I also used to love Ben."
"Why not anymore?"
"I haven't seen Ben in 3 years. He turned to a man whore, he`s not who I once knew."
"How long have you loved me?" Danny interrupted.
"Ever since I met you."
"I loved you. That was the biggest mistake of my life."
My eyes started watering.
"Why didn't you tell me you liked me?"
"I didn't want to hurt you, if I told you, you would've had to expect something and I didn't want to tear you down."
I put my head down, "You thought right, thanks Danny. Protected me to later break my heart."
I got up, looking up and locking eyes with Ben. His expression sad. A tear escaped my eye as I looked down. He started walking towards me as I ran to the bus door and jumped out. I ran far down the venue and hid behind a wall and slid down. My head hid in my arms as my knees were against my chest.
______________________BEN P.O.V.__________________________
"I didn't want to hurt you, if I told you, you would've had to expect something and I didn't want to tear you down."
Danny, you dumb fuck I thought.
Abree put her head down and took a sharp breath of air, "You thought right, thanks Danny. Protected me to later break my heart."
She got up and looked straight at me. Hurt was clouding her eyes, my expression sad as she looked down again. I walked towards her as she ran to the door and jumped out. Everyone stared at the door. I turned towards Danny.
"What the fuck, Danny?!"
"I don`t know! I didn't think she`d react like that!"
"You`ve known her longer than any of us, how do you not know how she would react?!"
"I guess I don't, Ben, or I wouldn't have said that."
"Un-fucking-believable," I growled, walking out the bus in search for Abree.
_________________
"Abree, where are you?" Receiving no answer, I sighed.
Fuck, Abree, I care about you, please don`t be gone. I thought.
I walked past a wall and saw her, I stopped and turned. Abree looked straight at me, her expression blank.
"Abree.."
"Fuck off."
"No. Tell me whats wrong."
"I said fuck off!"
"And I said no!"
"Ben.."
"Abree.."
"Fuck off."
I sat beside her, being as much of a stubborn cunt as she was.
She groaned, "you guys were my life, all of you left me in England all by myself, all of you lied to me telling me we would always keep in touch. Not a single phone call was made to me, nothing."
"Abree, i`m still who I was before all this happened. That little time I had with you was great for me. Yes, I must admit that when I met you I only wanted to fuck you then leave you, but once I got to know you I started having feelings for you. Before long I was in love with you. That day I left I was heartbroken. Ask Danny, I was a wreck. I turned to sex, booze and drugs to make me forget you. That's how I got to this place. All those things I pushed onto myself made me forget about you completely. Danny was the same, he did those things with me."
"I call bullshit."
"What?"
"I said, I call bullshit. If you wanted to talk to me again because you 'loved' me, you would've kept in contact. You don't know how bad I was when all of my life drove away. I cried for weeks, Ben, weeks. I shut myself up inside my room, not talking for weeks. I barely ate. My parents got fed up with me and shoved me out into the daylight to find something else to do than just sulk in my dark room. I met a boy in a bar. We fucked, yeah, but it wasn't great. I was used to you, he wasn't pleasurable for me. It brought back memories that made me cry and leave, leaving me to sulk again in my room. I finally got sick of myself sulking. I looked for your new place called 'home' and moved here, hoping I would see all of you again and here we are. I wish I never met you, Ben. You made my life living hell when you drove away. Not everything is sex, drugs, rock and roll. Its about the music. Just because your fucking famous doesn't mean its the greatest feeling to have fucking groupies lining up in a fucking line waiting for you to fuck them for a night then move to another location and do the same god damn thing. Its not about the drugs either. I`m sure your favorite artists are prime examples of druggies, why? Because they`re fucking dead. Dead and buried six fucking feet deep. Having them die should`ve made warning signs in your fucking head to not do those and you still choose to. You saying you`re not a good role model is the fucking truth." She said coldly.
"Abree, what happened to you?"
"Reality happened."
"No, what happened, really."
"I`m not who I used to be. I`m a bitch, i`m not a sweetheart anymore. I`m not a little selfish, helpless cunt like I was back then."
"I can see that," I scoffed.
She glared at me and got up.
"Where are you going?"
She didn't answer me, I got up and sped up to her.
"I said where are you going?!"
"Fuck off, Ben."
"Answer me dammit!"
"I SAID FUCK OFF!"
I grabbed her arm and jerked her sideways.
"What the fuck do you want?"
"I want you to answer me."
"Fine, what did you say?" She jerked her arm away.
"Where are you going?"
"Wouldn't you like to know.." She started walking again.
"Abree! Get your ass back here now!"
"Go to hell, Ben. I`m not your fucking slave."
I ran and jerked her again, getting in her face.
"What did you just say to me?"
"I said i`m not your fucking slave."
I slapped her across the cheek. She jerked her head down.
I realized what I had done, "I`m so sorry, Abree. I didn't mean to, it was a reaction. I`m so so so sorry!"
She looked up at me, my hand print glowing.
"Abree, i`m sorry." I whispered.
She pushed me and walked away. "Fuck you, Ben. FUCK YOU."
"Whats the matter? Abree? I want to know, I really care about you!" I yelled to her.
"Sure you do!"
She got to her car and was unlocking it when I ran and pushed her up against it.
"No, Ben! Get away from me!"
I turned her towards me and kissed her passionately. Everything I loved about her showing in the kiss.
No matter how much I didn't want to pull away I had to. I looked at her face as her eyes opened and stared into my eyes. She smiled lightly and put a hand on my cheek.
"Oh, Ben. Benji boy..." She slapped me as hard as I hit her, "Fuck off, ass wipe."
I looked at her as her expression was empty. I looked into her eyes and stayed that way. She didn't move, nothing, just stared back at me. I put my hands on her face and pulled her in for another kiss. She didn't resist and deepened it. Our lips moving in sync with each other. We broke away for air and we smiled at each other.
"I hate loving you," She whispered.
"And I hate loving you as well, never ends happily." I smiled.
She smiled and pecked me on the lips before pushing me away.
"What are you doing?" I grabbed her hand.
"Ben...I-I..have to go. If I stay here the same thing will happen like it did last time. Me heartbroken and you changed."
"Not if you stay on tour with me, please?"
"Nobody elses girlfriend stays on tour, i`m not going to either. We aren't even dating."
"So? Camerons girlfriend was like one before he asked her out. She stayed on tour with us and everything. She got to stay with Cameron. They`re still together!"
"But does she tour everyday with him now?"
"No..but.."
"Exactly, Ben. It wasn't meant to be."
"Abree! How can you say that?"
"Because you don't love me. We both know this."
"Abree please! Stay with me!"
"Why?"
"I want to see your beautiful face every time I wake up in the morning or afternoon!"
"All you want me for it sex, Ben. I`m not an idiot."
"That's not what I want you for! I want you to be mine!"
"I`ll think about it. Night, Ben. I`m going home." She opened her door and got in. I stopped her from closing it.
"Can I go with you? Please?"
She looked at me and thought about it, sighing. "Fine, get your lanky ass in the car."
I smiled and walked to my side and got in.
------
"Welcome to my humble abode." She said, yawning and throwing her keys onto the counter.
"Nice place you got."
"Thanks."
"Wheres your photo album?"
"Right there, look at it if you want." She walked to her room.
Don't mind if I do. I thought to myself.
I was busy looking through the album to notice that Abree was only in panties and a shirt. Minding her own business making tea.
I looked at her and smiled. She turned to me, "What?"
"Why are you dressed like that? Do you want something to happen tonight?"
She looked down at what she was wearing. "This is my sleeping attire." She turned back towards her brewing tea.
I closed the book and got up. She didn't notice. I wrapped my arms around her waist. She lifted her head up and I kissed her forehead. She smiled and fixed the tea to its cups. Two, for her and I.
I took the cup, "Thank you." I sipped my tea.
"You're very welcome." She sipped as well. I followed her into the living room and let her put her feet onto my lap. I rested my hand on her leg and looked at her.
She looked at me, again, still sipping her tea. "Yes?" She asked, sleepy in her voice.
"Nothing. I just wanted to, you know..."
"No..I don't know, Ben. Explain it to me."
I sighed, "I was hoping we could fuck."
She lowered her cup and stared at me. "Good night, Ben." She said as she got up and walked to her room.
"Where am I supposed to sleep?"
"The couch, dumb fuck." She hissed as she slammed her bedroom door.
I sighed and grabbed a pillow and stuffed it under my head and shifted around. I fell silent and heard her rustle around in her room, sheets being pulled, door being opened and a toilet running and a flick of a light. She sighed loudly and I heard the sheets ruffle some more.
I smiled and tried to sleep. After 2 hours of trying, I gave up. I hummed a tune in my head and stopped abruptly hearing sounds come from her room. She was talking in her sleep very loudly.
"Don't! Please! I beg of you! Don't touch me! Help! Help me! Someone please, help me!" She screamed as I heard muffled crying. "No! It hurts! Stop! Help!"
I jumped off the couch and opened the door to see her having a awful nightmare as she started talking again.
"Please, don't do this to me, please, I want to be let go, please let me go!" She screamed. I ran to her and shook her shoulders violently.
"Abree! Wake up! Its just a nightmare! Wake up! Everything is OK!" I screamed. She stirred in her sleep as more tears ran down her face.
She looked me in the eyes and collapsed into my chest. "B-Ben, ple-ease d-don't leave m-m-me," She cried, holding onto me as if I might slip away.
"Its going to be OK, baby, its going to be OK, do you want to talk about what your dream was?" I ask. Shushing and trying to calm her.
"Y-yes, I think you should know."
"Go on then, babe."
"The dream was about me getting beaten. It wasn't a dream, though. It was a memory. A memory of the time when I was walking the streets alone one night and guys decided to beat me, not rape me for which i`m grateful for, but beat me senseless. They allowed me to live, they had all their anger out. The memory came back to haunt me. It does every night." She whimpered, crying more tears.
I was in shock, what disgusting fuck would do that to her? I know. The drunken 'I can do whatever the fuck I want' men.
I sat beside her and rocked her, telling her it was going to be OK, I was here. Nothing was going to happen. Everything. She finally calmed down where she was just sniffling. I guessed she was good to go back to sleep again and I got off the bed.
"W-where are you going?" She shakingly said.
"Going back to the couch, why babe?"
"I need you h-here. Please."
I turned back towards her and climbed onto the bed once again. Holding onto her.
"B-Ben?"
"Yes?"
"You can shed off your clothes to just your boxers. You are going to be sleeping in here with me."
I did as I was told and was coaxed under the sheets with her. It was so warm being under the blankets from her cold room. I wrapped my arms around her as she snuggled as much as she could into me.
"Abree?"
"Yes?"
"I love you."
"..I-I love you too, Ben."
"I really mean it when I say it, Bree."
"I hope so, because I mean it when I say it."
"I know you do, now go to sleep, babe. Long day of fun tomorrow so get your rest."
"Alright," she sighed, snuggling even more into me until her breathing became slow. I kissed her forehead and let out a sigh. Now I can finally sleep.
_______________________________________________________________________
Sorry it took so long to get this chapter out. I wrote it, waited a few days, read it, changed the parts I didn't like, left it alone, then did the same thing. This chapter has had a lot of changes put into it. I was going to wait longer till I was absolutely happy with it. But I read it again after a week or 2 and changed it even more. I think i`m happy with it.
I hope you guys are happy that it is such a long chapter. I hope you are all happy with the outcome of this, now you will have to wait a long time till the 14th chapter is out. Process of taking your time to erase mistakes and put something better takes awhile.