How Do I Live Without the Ones I Love?
Mom?
He's gone Katie....
Those words couldn't seem to leave my mind, even after all the time that's passed. I still love Jimmy, something just doesn't want to let go of him. There was a knock on the door, "Yeah?"
"Hey Kate," Johnny, walked in and sat down next to me, "How are you?" I shrugged slightly, "I'm fine John. How was tour?" He smiled, "It was good, I guess. I don't think any of us are used to you not being there with us. Grace is really gettting on my nerves, at least when you were on tour with us we didn't have to worry about being hit on by our merch girl every five minutes." I laughed slightly and looked at him, "So you think I should come back and tour with you guys again?" He smiled and hugged me, "I, personally, would love to have my babysister back on tour with me again. I think Brian, Zack, and Matt miss ya too."
I smiled at Johnny, "I guess I can try it once. I haven't been out since Jimmy passed," I sat down on my couch, "How can I do this?" He sighed and sat next to me, "You know..maybe it will be a good idea. You and Brian can go back to constantly playing pranks on each other and maybe it'll be so close to being normal, I mean it won't be exactly the same." I nodded and looked down, "Do you think that maybe it's time to move on? Try and be with someone else, get my mind off of Jimmy?" Johnny sighed and stood up, "I don't know Kate. Do you think it's time?"
I nodded, "It's been so long, and since things didn't work out so well with Hayden..." Johnny nodded, "Give someone a shot at being with you, don't always zone out thinking about Jimmy. Things will get better doll," he kissed the top of my head and walked out. I sighed and laid back on the couch, I miss him...
Flashback
"James Owen Sullivan! Put me down, now!" I laughed as Jimmy carried me over to the edge of the pool, "What's wrong Katie baby? Don't wanna get a little wet?" I rolled my eyes, "You know the answer to that, I just don't like being wet in that way Jimmy, now put me down!" He laughed and suddenly I was under the water, I surfaced and glared at him, "James!" He smirked and ran off, "Can't catch me!" I jumped out of the pool and ran in through the back door, "Jimmy! Come on out!" I walked into the bedroom that we shared and over to the bathroom that combined the rooms, "Jimmy, come on."
I reached over to the shower curtain and pulled it back, "Boo!" I jumped backwards, "Damn it Jimmy," he ran out of the bathroom, I followed and tackled him on the bed, straddling his waist, "Gotcha," I smiled and leaned down and kissed him, he smiled and kissed back. He rolled us over and leaned his forehead against mine, "I love you Katie," I smiled back at him, "I love you too Jimmy."
That was the last time that Jimmy and I made love, I loved him more than anything and it's been almost ten years since he passed away. "Mom? What are you doing?" I jumped slightly at the sound of my nine year old son, Xavier's, voice, I looked at him and smiled, "Nothing sweetie. What're you doing bud?" He smiled and sat next to me, "I'm going to Ian's to practice for awhile, okay?" I nodded, "That's fine buddy, want me to drive you over there I need to talk to Matt and Val about something." He looked at me confused, "Like what mom?" I sighed, "About your dad bud."
The smile on his face fell immediatley, "Dad? What do you gotta talk to them about?" I looked down, "I'm thinking about going on tour with the band again to sell merch and we might have to enroll you into an online school so you can go on tour with Ian, Brie, and Brooke." He nodded slightly, "Okay mom. I nodded, "Let's go then." We walked out of the apartment and down the stairs to the car, I drove to Matt and Val's. Xavier jumped up and ran out of the car to the front door where Ian opened it, I smiled and walked in after him, "Mom and dad are in the living room with everyone else Aunt Katie." I nodded and walked into the living room and sat down on the chair by the door way.
Val looked over at me, "How's X?" I sighed, "I don't think he's ever going to be totally used to not having Jimmy around, he got in a fight in school the other day. I really think that he needs to get away from the other kids for awhile and just be around Ian and the twins." Matt nodded, "He's like a mini Jimmy though Kate, you can't just try and hide him from everything...even though he lost Jimmy." I nodded, "I know Matt," Brian walked over to me, "Katie? Can we talk for a moment, just you and me?"
I walked into the kitchen with him and jumped up on the counter, "What's up buttercup?" He smirked and wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed me deeply, "When can we finally come out about this? I don't want to hide my love for you anymore." I nodded and looked into his eyes and gently brushed his hair away from his face, "Bri..what about Xavier? You're Uncle Brian to him, not really a father figure. He won't like it.." Brian kissed me again, "I know, he won't like it at first. He should be happy that you're happy baby," he kissed me again and pulled me even closer to his body, "Mom? U-uncle Brian? What a-are you doing..."
Those words couldn't seem to leave my mind, even after all the time that's passed. I still love Jimmy, something just doesn't want to let go of him. There was a knock on the door, "Yeah?"
"Hey Kate," Johnny, walked in and sat down next to me, "How are you?" I shrugged slightly, "I'm fine John. How was tour?" He smiled, "It was good, I guess. I don't think any of us are used to you not being there with us. Grace is really gettting on my nerves, at least when you were on tour with us we didn't have to worry about being hit on by our merch girl every five minutes." I laughed slightly and looked at him, "So you think I should come back and tour with you guys again?" He smiled and hugged me, "I, personally, would love to have my babysister back on tour with me again. I think Brian, Zack, and Matt miss ya too."
I smiled at Johnny, "I guess I can try it once. I haven't been out since Jimmy passed," I sat down on my couch, "How can I do this?" He sighed and sat next to me, "You know..maybe it will be a good idea. You and Brian can go back to constantly playing pranks on each other and maybe it'll be so close to being normal, I mean it won't be exactly the same." I nodded and looked down, "Do you think that maybe it's time to move on? Try and be with someone else, get my mind off of Jimmy?" Johnny sighed and stood up, "I don't know Kate. Do you think it's time?"
I nodded, "It's been so long, and since things didn't work out so well with Hayden..." Johnny nodded, "Give someone a shot at being with you, don't always zone out thinking about Jimmy. Things will get better doll," he kissed the top of my head and walked out. I sighed and laid back on the couch, I miss him...
Flashback
"James Owen Sullivan! Put me down, now!" I laughed as Jimmy carried me over to the edge of the pool, "What's wrong Katie baby? Don't wanna get a little wet?" I rolled my eyes, "You know the answer to that, I just don't like being wet in that way Jimmy, now put me down!" He laughed and suddenly I was under the water, I surfaced and glared at him, "James!" He smirked and ran off, "Can't catch me!" I jumped out of the pool and ran in through the back door, "Jimmy! Come on out!" I walked into the bedroom that we shared and over to the bathroom that combined the rooms, "Jimmy, come on."
I reached over to the shower curtain and pulled it back, "Boo!" I jumped backwards, "Damn it Jimmy," he ran out of the bathroom, I followed and tackled him on the bed, straddling his waist, "Gotcha," I smiled and leaned down and kissed him, he smiled and kissed back. He rolled us over and leaned his forehead against mine, "I love you Katie," I smiled back at him, "I love you too Jimmy."
That was the last time that Jimmy and I made love, I loved him more than anything and it's been almost ten years since he passed away. "Mom? What are you doing?" I jumped slightly at the sound of my nine year old son, Xavier's, voice, I looked at him and smiled, "Nothing sweetie. What're you doing bud?" He smiled and sat next to me, "I'm going to Ian's to practice for awhile, okay?" I nodded, "That's fine buddy, want me to drive you over there I need to talk to Matt and Val about something." He looked at me confused, "Like what mom?" I sighed, "About your dad bud."
The smile on his face fell immediatley, "Dad? What do you gotta talk to them about?" I looked down, "I'm thinking about going on tour with the band again to sell merch and we might have to enroll you into an online school so you can go on tour with Ian, Brie, and Brooke." He nodded slightly, "Okay mom. I nodded, "Let's go then." We walked out of the apartment and down the stairs to the car, I drove to Matt and Val's. Xavier jumped up and ran out of the car to the front door where Ian opened it, I smiled and walked in after him, "Mom and dad are in the living room with everyone else Aunt Katie." I nodded and walked into the living room and sat down on the chair by the door way.
Val looked over at me, "How's X?" I sighed, "I don't think he's ever going to be totally used to not having Jimmy around, he got in a fight in school the other day. I really think that he needs to get away from the other kids for awhile and just be around Ian and the twins." Matt nodded, "He's like a mini Jimmy though Kate, you can't just try and hide him from everything...even though he lost Jimmy." I nodded, "I know Matt," Brian walked over to me, "Katie? Can we talk for a moment, just you and me?"
I walked into the kitchen with him and jumped up on the counter, "What's up buttercup?" He smirked and wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed me deeply, "When can we finally come out about this? I don't want to hide my love for you anymore." I nodded and looked into his eyes and gently brushed his hair away from his face, "Bri..what about Xavier? You're Uncle Brian to him, not really a father figure. He won't like it.." Brian kissed me again, "I know, he won't like it at first. He should be happy that you're happy baby," he kissed me again and pulled me even closer to his body, "Mom? U-uncle Brian? What a-are you doing..."
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This story is in honor of James Owen Sullivan <3foREVer <3