I'll Be Your Best Kept Secret and Your Biggest Mistake
o1.
I See Stars were a constant in my life all throughout high school. They formed at the beginning of my freshman year and I never missed a single practice in the Oliver brothers' basement, gig they played or party at Zach's house. At first, I was only in it to support Jeff, who was my best friend/practically a brother to me growing up. But, I soon enough became friends with Devin, Andy, Zach, Jimmy and Brent while also falling in love with their music.
The guys all had only a couple serious girlfriends here and there throughout high school, except Zach. He was always the flirt, the ladies man, the player. He had a different girl on his arm every week, and his taste varied. Some of them were tolerable, pretty, nice, funny, they supported the band and were nice to me. As for some of the others, all I had to say was, "What the fuck was he thinking?"
I tried my best to just deal and be happy for him, but to be completely honest, I always felt a stinging, burning twinge of jealousy every time I got introduced to Zach's newest piece of arm candy. I've had a massive crush on him ever since we first met at ISS's first real practice held in Devin and Andy's basement. I, like many other girls, had fallen victim to his big blue eyes, adorable smile and smooth talking ways. I tried to keep it as inconspicuous as possible though, for the sake of the band and because, as corny as it sounds, I wasn't "many other girls." I didn't want to be seen as just another cliche, drunken one night stand or friend with benefits.
He never really led me to believe the feeling was mutual. Except for the playful usage of names like "cutie," "babe," and "sweetie" in addition to the occasional friendly kiss on my cheek/arm around my shoulder, I got nothing but friend vibes from him.
That was, until one party he threw Sophomore year. I still clearly remember everything that happened that night.
*-*-*-*-*
it was a Saturday night, music was blaring from the speakers and he had about 30 people in his house. I was in the middle of the makeshift dancefloor in his living room when I felt an arm snake around my waist from behind.
Then, a way too familiar voice whispered in my ear, "I wanna see you let loose. Why don't you show me your moves, girl?"
My chest tightened, I felt my heart pounding and butterflies rushed to my stomach. We were touching. Now both of his hands were on my hips.
I couldn't help but smile as I turned my head around and our noses were almost touching, "I'm always down to have a good time with you, Zach."
The feeling of his body touching mine and the bass vibrating enveloped me. At the risk of sounding cliche, it felt like we were the only two people in the entire world that mattered in that moment. I shook my hips as he grinded on me. His hands moved to my inner thighs as I got more into it. After dancing with him for about two and a half songs, he turned to face me.
He started to play with the strands of my hair that framed my face. He smiled his precious smile that I had seen many times before (like when he found out I See Stars had scored a gig or when he beat Devin at a video game). Then, he kissed me. It was only a short, sweet peck on the lips. But nonetheless, I could barely even register what just happened. The butterflies were moving even faster now. I felt my cheeks heat up as a lightheaded feeling took over me.
"You're amazing, Jill, you're amazing. You're the coolest girl ever...and you're so pretty." Pretty. He fucking called me pretty.
I felt a pair of eyes on me, I turned to my right to see Devin standing directly across the living room, staring in my direction. His jaw was practically hanging on the floor and when we made eye contact he mouthed "Damn, get some!" Which caused me to blush even harder. I was still trying to take in the whole situation.
I snapped out of it when Zach put his arm on my shoulder and said something about going outside to smoke. Him and I awkwardly avoided each other for the remainder of the night. The following Monday, he gave me a speech about how he was sorry if he made anything awkward, but he valued me as a friend/supporter of the band and didn't want to risk fucking that up. Which I pretended to understand and be okay with, but the other ISS guys would often tease me about still having a crush on him and I knew it was true. Of course he was at least somewhat interested in me too, if not, he wouldn't have kissed me, right? Throughout the rest of high school, I felt the tension between him and I. It was definitely there.
*-*-*-*-*
But then, I graduated high school and left Michigan to attend a two year art school in Philly, leaving the guys behind. I did stay in contact with them though. Jeff informed me that they were scheduled to tour with Woe, Is Me and Breathe Carolina, asking me to go on the road with them as their merch girl. This meant I would get to spend an entire summer on the road with the guys (and hopefully get closer to Zach), which was an opportunity I definitely wasn't about to turn down.
The guys all had only a couple serious girlfriends here and there throughout high school, except Zach. He was always the flirt, the ladies man, the player. He had a different girl on his arm every week, and his taste varied. Some of them were tolerable, pretty, nice, funny, they supported the band and were nice to me. As for some of the others, all I had to say was, "What the fuck was he thinking?"
I tried my best to just deal and be happy for him, but to be completely honest, I always felt a stinging, burning twinge of jealousy every time I got introduced to Zach's newest piece of arm candy. I've had a massive crush on him ever since we first met at ISS's first real practice held in Devin and Andy's basement. I, like many other girls, had fallen victim to his big blue eyes, adorable smile and smooth talking ways. I tried to keep it as inconspicuous as possible though, for the sake of the band and because, as corny as it sounds, I wasn't "many other girls." I didn't want to be seen as just another cliche, drunken one night stand or friend with benefits.
He never really led me to believe the feeling was mutual. Except for the playful usage of names like "cutie," "babe," and "sweetie" in addition to the occasional friendly kiss on my cheek/arm around my shoulder, I got nothing but friend vibes from him.
That was, until one party he threw Sophomore year. I still clearly remember everything that happened that night.
*-*-*-*-*
it was a Saturday night, music was blaring from the speakers and he had about 30 people in his house. I was in the middle of the makeshift dancefloor in his living room when I felt an arm snake around my waist from behind.
Then, a way too familiar voice whispered in my ear, "I wanna see you let loose. Why don't you show me your moves, girl?"
My chest tightened, I felt my heart pounding and butterflies rushed to my stomach. We were touching. Now both of his hands were on my hips.
I couldn't help but smile as I turned my head around and our noses were almost touching, "I'm always down to have a good time with you, Zach."
The feeling of his body touching mine and the bass vibrating enveloped me. At the risk of sounding cliche, it felt like we were the only two people in the entire world that mattered in that moment. I shook my hips as he grinded on me. His hands moved to my inner thighs as I got more into it. After dancing with him for about two and a half songs, he turned to face me.
He started to play with the strands of my hair that framed my face. He smiled his precious smile that I had seen many times before (like when he found out I See Stars had scored a gig or when he beat Devin at a video game). Then, he kissed me. It was only a short, sweet peck on the lips. But nonetheless, I could barely even register what just happened. The butterflies were moving even faster now. I felt my cheeks heat up as a lightheaded feeling took over me.
"You're amazing, Jill, you're amazing. You're the coolest girl ever...and you're so pretty." Pretty. He fucking called me pretty.
I felt a pair of eyes on me, I turned to my right to see Devin standing directly across the living room, staring in my direction. His jaw was practically hanging on the floor and when we made eye contact he mouthed "Damn, get some!" Which caused me to blush even harder. I was still trying to take in the whole situation.
I snapped out of it when Zach put his arm on my shoulder and said something about going outside to smoke. Him and I awkwardly avoided each other for the remainder of the night. The following Monday, he gave me a speech about how he was sorry if he made anything awkward, but he valued me as a friend/supporter of the band and didn't want to risk fucking that up. Which I pretended to understand and be okay with, but the other ISS guys would often tease me about still having a crush on him and I knew it was true. Of course he was at least somewhat interested in me too, if not, he wouldn't have kissed me, right? Throughout the rest of high school, I felt the tension between him and I. It was definitely there.
*-*-*-*-*
But then, I graduated high school and left Michigan to attend a two year art school in Philly, leaving the guys behind. I did stay in contact with them though. Jeff informed me that they were scheduled to tour with Woe, Is Me and Breathe Carolina, asking me to go on the road with them as their merch girl. This meant I would get to spend an entire summer on the road with the guys (and hopefully get closer to Zach), which was an opportunity I definitely wasn't about to turn down.
♠ ♠ ♠
An idea I had for a story, what do you guys think? :3