I Left My Heart In Huntington Beach

Nicole’s Pov:

Leaves fall softly from the oak tree in front of the library and silently hit the ground. A light breeze blows by, ruffling the newly fallen leaves. Dark clouds came together, leaving a hazy fog over the town. Fall had come and gone. I couldn’t believe it was almost Christmas, it felt like I had just celebrated Halloween and Thanksgiving, which really hurt to spend alone. I didn't even get a phone call from Shauna or Brian.

No, I’m not going to say his name. I sighed running my fingers through my hair. I removed my glasses, taking a few deep breaths. It had been almost a month since ‘he-who-shall-remain-nameless’ and I broke up, and it’s been bothering me way more than I thought it ever would.

My heart drops every time I hear a motorcycle, or even catch a glimpse of leather. But it hurts the most when I’m alone with all my thoughts. When I remember his smile, or laugh, or smirk. They way he used to kiss me, the way he used to tease me. They he’d smirk at me, or the way I could never stay mad at him. Well, until now.

It wasn’t just the tattoo, even though I wasn’t to fond of it. I guess it was just a combination of things.

But now, I don’t feel so confident in my decision. Nothing takes my mind of ‘he-who-shall-remain-nameless’, even though I tried my hardest. Maybe I just made a rash decision, maybe I should just give in.

Then again, why should I? I shouldn’t have to compromise my feelings. I shouldn’t want to be with someone that treated me like that anyways. Even though ‘he-who-shall-remain-nameless’ didn’t treat me all that bad…maybe I was a bit to hard on him.

I slightly jumped as a stack of books were dropped in front of me. I looked up to see a guy smiling sweetly at me, his hair greased back and, of course, a leather jacket draped over his right shoulder. Tearing my gaze away from his jacket, I politely smiled back before looking down at the books he had slammed in front of me.

“How to Fix Motorcycles”. Of course. Why did we even have this book? I sighed before shaking my head. I will not allow myself to even think his name. But no matter how many times I shake his head, his face won’t leave my mind.

Brian’s Pov:

Matt’s vocals ran throughout the studio as he sang the lyrics to a song currently titled, “Fast Melodic”. We weren’t to good at coming up song titles. I began quietly drumming absentmindedly on my knees, letting out a sigh. It has been about a week since ‘she-who-shall-remain-nameless’ broke my heart. It still hurt even though I know all of it had been my fault.

I took her to get the tattoo, I continued lying to her, I made her feel she couldn’t trust me, which she really couldn’t. I should have never gotten this close to her or opened my heart and try to experience love.

I missed her, although I hated admitting it to myself. I missed her smile, her little tough feminist attitude and hearing her call me Biker Boy. I just missed her being around.

I was taken from my thoughts as the couch dipped next to me. I stopped tapping my fingers and turned to see Matt sitting next to me. He picked a pen up from the table. Removing the cap with his mouth, he started closely at the lyric sheet in his hand and crossed out the title “Fast Melodic.”

“Brian, do you have any idea what to call this song?” Matt asked, his voice muffled by the pen cap that hung from his lips like a cigarette.

I bit the inside of my lip, peeking over at the lyric sheet to get some inspiration.

I scanned the page, paying attention to any word that popped out at me first.

We’ve all been lost, been lost,….I bit my lip, trying to decide which sounded better. I read my two choices out loud. Matt shook his head at both.

I sighed, staring at the top of the paper where “Fast Melodic” was still crossed out. I was about to suggest we just keep “Fast Melodic” until it hit me. Lost. Exactly what I felt at the moment.

“Dude, what about Lost?” I suggested, with a hopeful smile.

Matt nodded his head thoughtfully for a few seconds, his eyes never leaving the lyric sheet. A little smile spread across his face.

“That’s perfect.” He exclaimed, writing Lost at the top of the page. He placed the cap back on the pen and stood from his seat on the couch, probably to go show the other guys the song.

I grabbed a pick and my guitar, propping my feet up on the table, I began strumming anything that came to mind.

I had to get these solos finished. Matt had calmed down on me a bit for the most part, but I couldn’t sleep at night, and that wasn’t just because of ’she-who-shall-remain-nameless’. I just wanted this album done already.

I wanted to get out of here, go on tour, go see the fans. I nibbled on my pick. All my knowledge on music seemed to have escaped me. Nothing was working in my mind, I couldn’t make the pieces fit.

I guess I’m going to have to do more feeling stuff and go with what I feel. If I can’t get ‘she-who-shall-remain-nameless’ off my mind, I can at least use her for some inspiration.

Nicole’s Pov:

The computer made a low ding as I signed out of my account and shut the computer down for the night. It was finally closing time. I’d never been so happy to get off from work. I needed noise, any kind of noise. It was to quiet in here, the library gave you way to much time to think. And I wasn’t really in the mood for thinking, since all my thoughts ended up being about ‘he-who-shall-remain-nameless’.

I removed my purse from the cubby underneath the counter and pulled out my glasses case. I set my glasses back into their case before tossing it back into my bag and pulled out my phone, hoping to see anything there.

But there was nothing. No text, no missed call, no voicemail. I sighed, wishing I was alone so I could smack myself for acting so stupid. Why would Bri--I mean, ‘he-who-shall-remain-nameless’ try to make any contact with me?

I threw my phone back into my purse before slinging it over my shoulder.

“Hey Nicole,” I jumped at my name being called as Judy appeared in front of me.

Judy and I had been working together at the library for years, but we’ve never really talked. I figured she just wanted to be alone and do her job. She probably figured the same about me.

“Hey Judy,” I smiled, hoping she didn’t want to talk for long. I just wanted to go home already.

“Long day, huh?”

“Yeah.” I answered with a polite smile.

“I was wondering if you wanted to go get a drink with me?”

I flinched as I remember my trip to Vegas, or the little bits and pieces of that night that I did remember.

I shook my head, pulling away from my thoughts. If I shake my head anymore today I’m going to get a migraine.

“That’s really kind of you Judy, but I don’t really drink,” I replied with a low chuckle.

“We can go get coffee or something instead,” Judy smiled at me, her hazel eyes shining. I bit the inside of my lip, I couldn’t say no to Judy. She was so sweet and had covered all my shifts when I was running around with stupid Biker Boy.

Crap! I need to get out of this library, or at least get him off my mind. I can’t think about him anymore, it hurts to much. I guess coffee didn’t sound to bad.

“Alright.”

“Coffee it is?”

“Coffee it is.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

I slowly sipped my coffee, trying not to burn my tongue. My lip felt swollen and I was almost positive I could taste blood mixed in with the coffee. I unfortunately remembered this coffee shop. I never wanted to step foot in this coffee shop ever again.

I bit my lip to keep from screaming. I did smile a little though when I remembered spilling my coffee in Biker Boy’s lap. I wish I could throw it in his face now.

“I can’t believe I’ve worked with you for 6 years and we’ve never talked.”

I lifted my eyes up from my coffee cup as Judy giggled. Not knowing what to really say, I giggled along with her.

“I mean what do you like? Where have you been, where do you want to go? Do you like living here? What‘s your family like? Do you want a family of your own someday?”

She spoke so quickly I could barely make out a single word. She asked so many questions in one sentence, I had no idea what question to answer first.

“Um, well, I like living here. It’s a great city with great people, and I love getting to see a sunset every night.”

“The sunsets here are gorgeous!” Judy agreed before taking a long sip of her coffee.

“I haven’t been too many places. As much as I do love to travel, I’m not ready to stop working at the library. What about you?”

Judy set her coffee down and placed a hand over her chest, holding up a finger. I placed on hand on my cup, tracing the rim with a finger, just so I had something to do with my hands.

“Me and my husband used to travel all the time before I started working at the library. Both of us grew up really poor, we never got to go on any vacations as kids, so when we both got older and had money to go where we wanted, we went,” She said with a chuckle. “We actually met on vacation. It’s still the best vacation I’ve ever taken in my entire life,”

I smiled, even though I felt like I was being punched repeatedly in the stomach. I didn’t want to hear anything about love.

“That’s so cute.” I took a sip from of my coffee, no longer able to keep the fake smile on my face.

“I guess so. I really want to travel more though, I think I will after a few years. I can’t stay at the library forever.”

A silence fell over us as we both sipped our drinks.

“We should start hanging out more, or at least talking at the library more.” Judy smiled, reaching over and grabbing one of my hands.

I nodded. “We should. I think you’re the only one who likes me there.”

“I think you’re the only one who likes me there, to.” Judy laughed. “Oh, well. I don’t really care what people think of me anymore. I used to try and keep this reputation, but as you get older, you just realize that what people think just doesn’t matter.”

I nodded, slowly taking in Judy’s words. Maybe I was to good. Maybe I do care what others think to much.

Brian’s Pov:

I strummed my guitar, the last note of my new solo ringing throughout the studio. I sighed in relief. That was my last solo for the demos. Now all that's left is doing a final tracks and finishing the rest of the lyrics. But I don’t have to worry about lyrics to much, I never have anything good to contribute anyway.

I tossed my pick on the table and ran a hand through my already messy hair. It was nice being at the studio with just our studio engineer, Alex. I could concentrate and just focus on my playing. Not that I didn’t love being around my best friends, just not when I was trying to get over a stupid broken heart.

I shouldn’t have told her I loved her, that was stupid of me. I’d never told any woman I loved her, except my mom.

I turned off my amp and set my guitar in it’s case.

"Hey dude I'm gonna get going, I'm really tired. I'll see you next week." I mumbled to Alex as he gave me a pat on the shoulder.

"No problem man, great work today."

I thanked him and grabbed a water bottle before picking up my guitar case and walking out of the studio.

It was still a bit early. I guess I could go over and help Tyler out with the bar. We were almost done. Just needed to fix the dance floor, paint the front door and come up with a cool name.

Plus I could use a drink. Or two.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

“Three shots Mr. Gates.” Tyler chuckled as he set three shot glasses in front of me.

“Thanks Ty,” I mumbled before throwing my head back and downing the first shot. I set the shot glass back down on the bar before picking up the second glass and downing it just as quickly as I had the first.

“Woah, easy there dude.”

I flipped him the bird before downing the third one.

“Rough night dude?”

I snorted. “More like a rough month”

“Why?” Tyler asked as he picked up my three shot glasses and set them in the sink.

“Me and my girlfriend broke up last month.”

“Wait, you had a girlfriend?”

“Yeah, you didn’t know that?”

“Well I remember that one chick you brought in here a while ago, but I didn’t know she was your girlfriend. I didn’t know you had girlfriends.” Tyler laughed.

“I didn’t either.” I shook my head.

“Eh, chicks come and go man.” Tyler waved his hand before taking a clean shot glass down from the shelf and setting it in front of me, pouring tequila into it.

“I know, but she was different. I really did have feelings for her.”

“Well, let Mr. Tequila take away those feelings.” Tyler said as he pushed the shot towards me.

I smiled a little before taking the shot and sliding it back towards him.

“So what are we working on tonight?”

“I got some wood for the dance floor, I was hoping you could help me lay that down. The old stuff has definitely run its course.”

“Sounds good.”

“And we have to come up with a name for this place.” Tyler murmured as he tapped one of the walls.

“What’s your last name?”

“Crowley.”

“What about Crowley’s Pub?” I asked with a shrug.

Tyler nodded with a little smile.

“I think you’ve just earned yourself another shot.”

Nicole’s Pov:

“Thank you so much for the coffee Judy, I had a really nice time.”

Judy smiled and waved her hand. “Anytime Nicole. I’ll see you at work tomorrow.”

“Okay. Drive home safe.”

I slid out of Judy’s car and waved as she sped off down the road.

I fished my keys out of purse and walked back to my car, unlocking it on the way.

I set my hand on the cold door handle and was about to pull it when I heard a motorcycle off in the distance.

I stopped, gripping the door handle tightly. I took in a deep breath as the sound stopped, but the memories had already flooded into my mind. I yanked open my door and threw my purse into the passenger side. Leaning over the arm rest, I pulled my phone out of my purse.

Why was I doing this? It’s like I was just hurting myself now. I sat up straight in my seat, staring intently at my phone, wondering if I should really do this. I opened my contacts, scrolling down to the B’s. I took a deep breath as my hands shook. I pressed call and slowly put the phone up to my ear.

Each ring echoed as I continued shaking. My throat felt dry and I had a lump in my throat.

“Hello?”

My breathing stopped as I heard his voice.

“Nicole, are you there?”

I felt tears sting my eyes. I wanted to answer. I wanted to tell him that I loved him, that I wanted to see him. But my mouth wouldn’t open. No words would come out.

I quickly hung up the phone and threw it in my purse.

I turned on my car and fastened my seatbelt before speeding off towards home, quickly wiping away my tears.