Blind Fate

Lycoris held her caramel macchiato (she had simply ordered a second of whatever Jake had gotten) in her cold hands. She loved the feeling of a warm cup in her hands on a cold day. What she didn’t love, however, was sitting awkwardly in a mostly-empty Starbucks with someone she had nothing to say to.

What was she supposed to say? “Oh, hey, you broke my best friend’s heart—how have things been since then?”? She stared down at her hands. She refused to think that he had broken her heart as well as Hayden’s—or that it was her own fault, not his. This was a terrible idea. When he had rushed up to her in the library and asked her to coffee with an unnamable emotion in his bright blue eyes, her mouth had answered before she’d even had a moment to consider. It made her stomach twist just thinking about it now. She still wasn’t sure if it was a pleasant or unpleasant feeling.

“So,” Jake said finally, “this is pretty awkward.”

Ly laughed, nodding. “Are you talking about right now or the entire situation?”

It was Jake’s turn to laugh and reply, “Both, I suppose, though I was referring to us sitting here staring at our coffees and refusing to look at each other.” He finally caught her eyes and held them with his steady blue ones. Ly instantly felt a warm sensation in her stomach, sparking through her body down her arms and legs. She had an inexplicable mental image of Jimmy Stewart in It’s a Wonderful Life telling Donna Reid that he would lasso the moon for her so she could swallow it—that it would dissolve and beams of light would shine out the tips of her fingers and her toes and the ends of her hair.

She smiled at him despite herself and was rewarded with a wide grin in return. Unfortunately, after a moment or two (which may or may not have felt like an eternity) they both remembered how awkward it was and that they were not allowed to like each other. After a few beats of silence (which absolutely felt like an eternity), Lycoris gathered the courage to ask Jake how his Christmas had been.

“Oh, you know,” he answered, “my siblings and parents all in one house for a week, plus the rest of the family for the festivities. It got a bit stifling, so I’m glad to be home in my own apartment. I do miss my dog, though.” Jake smiled wryly at her. “And how was your Christmas?”

“Very quiet, compared to yours,” Ly said quietly. “Just me and Thaliana and my Papa.”

“Really?” Jake asked, eyebrows raised. “No cousins or kids or anything?”

She shook her head a bit sadly. “No, just the three of us. Thaliana was my mother’s only sister, and my father’s an only child. Any cousins or anything I might have all live in Greece. Well, and my grandmother on my father’s side remarried and moved to Florida when I was little. She doesn’t like to travel much.”

“Hm, I wonder if she knows my sister...” Jake pondered, teasing.

That made Lycoris smile. “Doubtful. Now,” she asserted, “tell me about your family.”

-----

Jake spoke for a while about his two brothers and sister, every once in a while pausing when Lycoris asked a question, or to pose one of his own. They talked about his parents, and eventually the conversation they coaxed out of themselves came to the subject of Hayden.

“They live in Rhode Island now, but they keep in close touch with everyone back home in Vermont.” Jake paused.

“Like the Bakers?” Ly asked carefully.

He blinked, looking uncomfortable. “Yes, Mom and Dad were good friends with the Bakers. Still are, I guess. I try not to talk much with them about it.”

“Not their favorite subject, huh?” Ly guessed.

“Actually,” he corrected, “it’s something they’d talk about for days if I let them. I’m the one who doesn’t much want to be told over and over that I should have married Hayden. That I still should.”

“Oh.”

They were both quiet for a long minute.

Finally, Lycoris worked up the courage to say, “I shouldn’t have asked. I’m sorry.”

Jake shook his head, frustrated. “No, no. If we’re going to talk, we’ll have to talk about her eventually.” He took a pause long enough that Ly was opening her mouth to make a reply when he continued, “I’m just tired of people thinking they know what I should do with my life. I’ve always been told what a smart guy I am,” He sighed. “And nobody will trust me to be smart about my own relationships.” He looked Ly dead in the eye as he told her, “I didn’t get cold feet. I didn’t run away from her because I was afraid. I left because I realized that getting married to someone I wasn’t right for—someone I wasn’t right with—wouldn’t fix my life. It wouldn’t make anyone happy. No matter what Hayden thinks, it wouldn’t have made her happy. Even if we don’t talk anymore, I care about her enough to want her to be happy.”

“I’m sorry,” Ly said quietly, staring into her coffee cup.

Jake furrowed his brow. “What are you sorry about?”

She pursed her lips, trying to decide how she should say what was on her mind—if she should say it. “I just... I’m sorry you lost her.” She looked up from her coffee, meeting his blue eyes. “I can tell that you cared about her—that you still care about her. I guess I wish things had worked out differently for you. Hayden’s my best friend and I suppose I forgot that she was yours too.”