The True Lies of the Once Fabulous Killjoys

Ben was beginning to stir, making Lauren instantly alert. Over her time as a mother she had become very perceptive of her son’s movements. She braced herself for another day as Ben’s eyes flickered open.

His eyes were warm, seeming to smile up at her. “Good morning, Mummy.”

“Good morning, sweetheart,” she replied, stooping down to stroke back his rumpled hair. “You had a big sleep in, didn’t you?”

The small boy nodded groggily. “Breakfast?” he asked curiously.

“Downstairs.” She giggled as her son came to life and bolted from the bed.

As Lauren rose from the bed she heard the sound of footsteps enter the bedroom. She turned.

“Gee,” she said with a warm smile, “what’s up?”

“You’re a liar,” he spat venomously.

“What?” she asked, confused and hurt by his harsh accusation.

“You come back here and tell us that your life is fine, but it’s not! All those times we spoke on the phone and you wouldn’t tell us anything – not even that you had a son! You were an alcoholic, for Christ’s sake, Lauren!” his voice rose more and more. “And you did drugs! You said you never would, that it was the worst thing a person could do to themselves and you did it! How the fuck can you come back here and pretend that everything is alright when all you’ve done is lie?”

Her eyes were widened and her lips parted. She stared at him as if he’d just slapped her. Everything she had tried her hardest to hide was now out in the open. If Gerard knew then it was highly likely that everyone else did too.

“Gerard – I...” she tried to apologise, but the words couldn’t get past her throat. Soon she gave up trying; there wasn’t much point in apologising, he wouldn’t accept it and she knew that.

“And you slept with a draculoid as well... after everything we all went through! And to think I thought you had standards...”

That pushed her over the edge. Instead of being upset she was nothing but angry. “Who told you?”

“Who do you think?” Gerard replied sarcastically.



His reflection was irritating him, Mikey decided when he looked at himself in the mirror. Since his discussion with Lauren in the early hours of that morning he’d spent most of the day trying to figure out what was wrong with him. Lauren wasn’t surviving as well as she should be in Idaho, yet she refused to come live with them – there had to be something wrong with him.

The door to his bedroom slammed open and in stormed an incredibly pissed off Lauren. She approached him determinedly. When she was stood in front of him she glared at him for half a second before raising her hand and striking his left cheek.

“What the hell?” he remarked, holding his cheek.

“You fucking told Gerard about what happened in New York! He hates me and it’s all because of you!” she spat at him.

“Me? What are you talking about? I didn’t tell anyone.”

Lauren shook her head, an incredulous look on her face. “Don’t fucking lie to me! I know it was you. Just so we’re clear, Mikey, I don’t want anything to do with you ever again. Stay the hell away from me – and Ben!”

With that, she marched back out into the hallway, leaving Mikey alone and confused. He stared after her; he’d fucked up and he didn’t even know how.

Ray, who had been washing up in the kitchen, heard essence of the commotion upstairs. He let the cloth fall back into the sink, wiped his damp and soapy hands on his jeans, and walked through the passage way to the living room so he could go upstairs to see what was going on. He passed Frank, seated on a cream sofa with his head in his hands. Ray quickly forgot about the noise upstairs when he heard Frank’s soft sobs.

“Dude, what’s wrong?” he asked as he slumped down next to him, placing a comforting hand on Frank’s back.

“Gerard...” Frank sobbed. “He’s gone to confront Lauren about everything... I couldn’t stop him... all I’ve heard is yelling and doors slamming... why wouldn’t he listen to me?”

“It’s not your fault – you know Gerard’s stubborn... just –” A door slammed shut; both men cringed. Ray sighed. “I’m sure they’ll sort it out soon.”

“Maybe...” Frank conceded. He looked up at Ray through half lidded, sad eyes. “Could you maybe... you know...”

“Talk to him?” Ray offered. Frank nodded. “Sure, buddy.”

Giving Frank a consoling pat on his shoulder, he stood and continued to the staircase. As he climbed he was startled that he seemed to be walking into silence; the previous noise had died down completely. Things were too calm for his liking. He was unsure which room to go to first. He’d promised Frank he would speak to Gerard, but Lauren would feasibly be upset too.

Uproar sounded from the master bedroom. Gerard first.

When Ray opened the door he was met with the sight of Gerard trashing the bedroom in a fit of rage. Pillows were scattered across the floor, picture frames had been smashed, drawers had been upturned on to carpet.

“Gerard!” Ray yelled.

He ran over to his friend and attempted to restrain him. He grabbed at his arms, but Gerard latched onto him first and charged him across the room and straight into a wall. Gerard rose his fist and aimed it for Ray’s face. He braced himself for the impact but it never came.

Ray opened his eyes. Mikey was holding back Gerard’s fist; he eyed him urgently until Ray moved away, then he let Gerard’s wrist go.

“Fuck...” Gerard breathed out as he realised what he’d just done. He stepped back saying, “Ray, dude, I’m so sorry...”

A few minutes passed. Silence.

Gerard had moved to lean against a wall. Ray was seated on the corner of the mattress. Mikey paced the room slowly, back and forth. No one knew what to say to each other.

“What’s happening to us?” Mikey asked aloud.



Suitcase handle grasped in the right hand, a duffle bag slumped over the right shoulder, child’s hand clutched tightly in the left hand. Lauren blinked back tears as she descended the stairs.
She couldn’t stay.

The household was in tatters now because of secrets and lies. Her secrets and lies.

She’d heard Gerard banging about in the master bedroom, she’d heard Ray’s raised voice, she’d heard Mikey running across the hall to be someone’s saviour. He was always trying to save people. She’d heard everything, and all that it had done was motivate her more so to leave.

Reaching the living room, Lauren caught Frank’s figure on the sofa. His eyes were downcast; she could tell he was hurting too. He didn’t look up as she and Ben passed him. The front door clicked shut behind her and she proceeded to the car.

With their bags loaded into boot, and Ben buckled into his car seat, Lauren started the engine. She cast one last look over her shoulder at her childhood home, then shifted into gear and drove off into the distance.



“Where the hell is she?” Bob boomed. He had been completely oblivious to the goings on upstairs but no was fully aware that something had happened when he discovered Lauren’s belongings gone from her room.

“She left,” Frank mumbled from the couch. “Maybe for Idaho.”

Since his fight with Gerard, Frank hadn’t vacated the sofa. He had seen Lauren and Ben leave, he didn’t know what to say so he’d just let them go.

Ray went on to explain to Bob what had happened, which just made the short tempered drummer angrier.

“So, let me get this straight,” Bob began sarcastically. “Gerard, you thought it would be a good idea to make Lauren feel even worse about her past when it was obvious she didn’t want everyone knowing, and then you Frank thought it would be a good idea to just let her go when you knew that she and Gerard hand just had a massive fight?”

“Actually,” Mikey said regretfully, “she also had a fight with me before she left.”

“How long before?” Bob demanded.

“A few minutes maybe? I’m not sure, I went to break up Gerard and Ray.”

“You’re all a bunch of fucking dickheads – you especially, Frank,” Bob said pointedly. He left the room.

Frank couldn’t help the tears that formed at Bob’s harsh words. Ray and Mikey left the room shortly after Bob’s exit, leaving Frank and Gerard alone. He looked over to his boyfriend, the tears still falling from his eyes. Gerard’s features were rigid, completely void of emotion.

“Do you even care that she’s gone?” Frank asked softly.

“No. She did everything we’re all against. I can’t care about her anymore,” Gerard said. “Bob’s right, you are a fucking dickhead – but only because you give a shit that she’s gone.”

“Then why are you dating me... if I’m a dickhead?”

“Sometimes I don’t know,” Gerard replied. He then too left the room.