Somewhere Only We Know

Beau drove up my driveway and parked the car. We sat still in annoyed silence waiting for the other one to start the unavoidable argument. He took a deep breath and I knew he was waiting for me to make the first move, but I won’t give him that. No, why should I give in? He knows damn right I won’t give in easily. He knows exactly how I feel about the topic we’re going to start yelling about.

“Jesus River,” he started.

Here we go, “don’t start Beau,” I snapped, “I told you hundreds of times already. I’m not ready for sex.”

I looked at him as he gripped the wheel looking at me, “River we’ve been dating for two years! I even said I love you, and you said you love me. What’s stopping you?”

I felt my blood start boiling, “How do I know you won’t skip out on me once we do it? How do I know what will happen after words?”

He rolled his eyes, “Dammit we’ve been dating for two, do you hear me? two years. I wouldn’t leave you after it. You should know me better than that.” He snapped back and I undid my seat belt and got out of the car, slamming the door behind me.

I heard his door open and then he called my name, “Fuck off Beau!” I gave him the bird and he scowled.

“Fine!” he snapped at me and slammed a fist on the roof of his car, “you want me to fuck off? Fine! I’ll find someone who would be glad to fuck me!’ he shouted back making my heart sink like the titanic. He went back into his car, quickly reversed out of my driveway, and sped down my street. Like an idiot I stood in the driveway staring at his slowly disappearing car while tears streamed down my cheeks. We always got into fights concerning sex, but never has he told me he was going to go fuck someone. Letting the tears uncontrollably run down my face I walked into the backyard ready to go to the one place I know I can be alone. My one haven.

“River what’s wrong?” I heard my sister, Viola, asked from inside the trampoline netting. Without answering her I walked passed her and her friend, Lynn. Walking across the yard to the gate that leads into the back woods. I left my yard and followed my own path to my spot. Crying like a toddler, I walked to the pond clearing that was about ten minutes from my house. It’s my secret spot, my special place for just me, even Beau doesn’t know about it. With the pond and a giant Weeping Willow tree I walked the bank to the Willow’s bent branches like any other day.

Approaching the tree’s natural green curtain while whimpering I saw the leaves move, “Who’s there?” someone asked. I stopped in my spot as my eyes fell on Nix, my cocky, self-absorbed, playboy neighbor. Oh, yeah, and should I add natural born enemy? Yeah let’s add that to the list. “Sullivan?” he said looking at me and crossing his arms. “What’d you do? Follow me out here? Cause I don’t need no bitch ruining my day for me,” he sneered and I couldn’t handle it. More tears came out and I fell to my knees balling like a baby. Usually I would come back with a witty comment or just brush him off, never cry in front of him. I guess since I never cried in front of him before he was taken off guard cause he looked panicky for a split second. “Shit,” he looked around quickly and then came to my side, “I’m sorry, really sorry, now stop crying.”

I shook my head in protest, “h-h-he,” I stuttered feeling myself about to cry harder.

“He? He who? Me?” he said and I shook my head again.

“J-just b-be-because I won’t have s-sex h-he left,” I cried harder and leaned on his chest gripping his shirt. “That j-jackass. He said he was going t-to go f-fuck someone else. I can’t believe I told him I love him,” my body was trembling as I spoke as I felt Nix go still. He probably wasn’t expecting this from me, I don’t think he ever imagined me crying to him because of another guy. Usually he is the guy girls cry over, not the one girls going crying to.

I felt his hand go on my back and begin to pat me in an awkward, yet comforting gesture, “um…there, there,” he said, voice sounding unsure. We stay like this for quite some time till I calmed down and stopped the water works. Not to mention soaking his shirt. Moving away from him I walked underneath the Willow tree and laid down on the grass, letting the branches hide me from the rest of the world. Closing my eyes I placed my arms over my face when I heard someone sit beside me, “so… want to talk about…whatever the hell just happened.” He cleared his throat, “you know, about the jackass and no sex?”

I let out an unsteady breath, “my boyfriend has been pressuring me to have sex and because I won’t do it we got into a fight. I told him to fuck off and he said fine and he’d find someone to fuck,” I clenched my fists, “and then he just drove away.”

Nix let out a low whistle, “that sucks.” I felt him lie beside me, “but hey you know what they say. There is always more fish in the sea, when one door closes another one opens, never throw a stone in a house made of glass.”

I moved my arms and looked at him, “the last one doesn’t fit.”

He faced up and shrugged, “ran out of sayings, sue me.” I rolled my eyes and looked up to the branches and laid in silence. The breeze would come by and shake the leaves making them float down towards us from time to time.

I reached up and grabbed a leaf that floated down and looked at it, “you know I found out he cheated on me once.” I said as I examined the green piece of nature in between my fingers.

“Oh?” he said, “and what did you do?” he asked, curiosity dripping from his voice.

I let go of the leaf and it floated to the ground next to me, “I did nothing, absolutely nothing.” I sat up and turned my body quickly so I was straddling Nix as he looked at me with wide eyes.

“What the hell Sullivan?” he yelled.

I put my finger to his lips silencing him and moved forward so my chest brushed his and our faces a breath away, “I’m going to do something now,” and with that I closed the space between us, mashing my lips with his.



The grass tickled my back as I laid on it catching my breath as Nix did the same next to me. I glanced at him from my peripheral noticing his brown hair matted down and his bare chest moving fast as he was breathing. What did I just do? WHAT DID I JUST DO?! Fuck, fuck, fuck! I just slept with my worst enemy! I let the guy I hate be my first. I groaned and rolled over to cover my face, I know this was my first time and all, but I feel like such a slut. Sitting up I scavenged my bra and underwear and placed them on when my phone went off.

It was the beginning of Christina Aguilera’s Ain’t No Other Man, Beau’s ring tone, and I scrabbled to answer it.

Fumbling with the phone I hit talk, “hello.”

“Hey River,” Beau said sounding sad, “I’m so sorry about what I said earlier. You know I don’t want to hurt you. It’s just the guys always pester me about it, and…well…”

I invariantly smiled and leaned against the tree, “I know, and I’m sorry too for snapping at you.”

“Let’s just forget about it.”

“I’d like that,” I said.

“How about I make it up to you? I’ll bring all your favorite snacks to your house and you can torture me with all your chick flick movies, sounds good?”

I laughed, “Sounds like a date.”

He chuckled, “it sure does,” he paused, “I love you.”

I felt a stab in my chest when he said that as I looked at Nix getting dressed. Oh dear God what have I done? “I love you too,” I responded and Nix looked at me, “see you soon, bye.” He said bye and I hung up before meeting Nix’s gaze, “Let’s just agree this never happened.” I said and then bent over to pull my jeans on.

“Whatever,” Nix said and I looked at him just in time to catch my shirt that he tossed me.