The Kind of Hoax That Leaves a Lump in Your Throat

I had to look perfect.

I know usually I didn’t care what I put on me, but tonight was different. I needed to look good for josh. I wanted him to look at me and remember that im worth all of this rubbish that’s going on right now. That we’re worth it. I know it was stupid and superficial, but hell I didn’t care.

Coral stole me a dress from a shoot she’d done and I got Charlie round to do my makeup and hair. I didn’t look much like myself, but you could still tell it was me kind of. Charlie said I looked more like a woman than the little violet she was used to. I on the other hand felt like I looked like a slut.

Liana and Freddy agreed to come with me so I wouldn’t be totally alone and I’d managed to get the next day off of work so I didn’t have to worry about hanging at work the next day. Freddy drove us claiming he wanted to stay sober to look after us. I knew he really just wanted to keep an eye on liana and make sure she wasn’t taken advantage of by some drunken guy.

The door was open when we arrived and Freddy and liana went right for the drinks. I wandered aimlessly trying to look for a familiar face but coming up short. All the boys here were stick thin with long hair, heaps of tattoos and wore tighter jeans than I would be able to get into.

They all looked at me with that hungry drunken expression that made my skin crawl and I felt like ducking out and apologising to josh later when I saw the unmistakeable head of Chris. I made my way over to him and he pulled me into a massive hug.

“Violet my love, how are you?”

“Im great Chris, you?”

“Bloody fantastic” he smiled and took another swig from the cup he was drinking out of. “Barnes get you arse over here!” he shouted and then matt somehow managed to make his way through everyone.

“Vi” he exclaimed before pulling me into him. “Someone’s been looking for you” he said into my ear before leading me away from Chris and through the hordes of people. Im sure I’d been groped a few times but I just focused on walking in the stupid shoes coral had insisted I wear.

We somehow made it to the kitchen and matt walked in with me, his arm around my waist. “Yo josh I found your girl” he shouted across the room and josh turned around instantly at the sound of his voice.

Josh looked good. He had a blue shirt on and my favourite pair of his jeans. His hair was shorter than last week, but it was still as scruffy as ever. My heart leaped just looking at him. But it was the look on his face that made me smile.

He was looking at me as if he’d never seen me before. His eyebrows were lost somewhere in his hair, eyes were wider than I’d ever seen them and I thought I might need to pick his jaw up off the floor later.

I smiled lightly and he walked over to me. Matt had gone, and even though there were about 15 other people in this room it felt like it was just me and him.

He stood a few feet away from me and held out his hand. I gave him a questioning glance before taking it and he proceeded to pull me into his arms. He buried his head in my hair and I could feel him sniffing around which made me giggle. He pulled back and brushed some hair out of my face whilst staring into my eyes.

“You look absolutely beautiful” he whispered and then pulled my chin up when I ducked away in embarrassment.

“Oi quit hogging the lass” I heard someone slur from behind josh, and when we pulled apart, I saw oli drunkenly making his way over to me. He held out his arms and I held his bony body to me. “Violet my love, I have missed you. You get a tattoo yet?”

“Not yet, I still haven’t decided on one”

“Speaking of, that fit mate of yours here”

“Yeah she’s here with her boyfriend” I said lightly elbowing him in the ribs. He just smiled and downed the rest of his drink before leaving. Josh took his place and led me over to a small group of boys by the sink.

“Hey lads I want you to meet violet” he smiled and they all smiled and waved whilst saying hey at the same time which made me smile. “Violet this is Steve Foy, Adam Baylis, Mike Duce and Matt O'Grady who I think you’ve already met vaguely”

“Hi guys” I smiled and waved awkwardly. They seemed nice enough but you know me, im not the best with new people.

“You wanna drink” josh asked for beside me and I nodded before he led me over to where all the drinks were. “Fancy another josh special?” he asked with a wink and I just shook my head before cracking open a can.

“So anyone else here I might know?”

“Holly and Georgina are probably around here somewhere, and you’ve probably guessed by oli being here that tom’s here”

“Oh right…” I said and looked to the floor. I felt a little guilty since I hadn’t spoken to him since that night and then I felt guilty for thinking about him when josh was right there. Not that I had a thing for tom, but josh and I hadn’t really discussed tom since out little “falling out”.

As if on queue, tom walked in and stumbling oli behind him.

“Fucking hell oli, I can’t take you anywhere” he scolded him, but oli just chuckled. Tom looked up and our eyes met. He stood frozen but as soon as I smiled he smiled back, looking slightly nervous.

Josh was talking to some guy next to him, so I walked over to him and wrapped my arms around him. He held me back tightly and almost lifted me off the floor.

“Hello stranger” he whispered into my hair and we pulled apart laughing.

“Im really sorry tom, I was gonna call you but things have been so crazy”

“Yeah well last time I saw you, you were crying your lungs up in my hotel and then I never heard anything after that”

“I know im really sorry” I said and looked around to see josh in a deep conversation with the guy he introduced as mike. I took hold of tom’s wrist and quickly went over to josh before whispering in his ear I was having a word with tom outside and then I’d be back. He nodded and kissed he temple before tom and I went outside.

“So what’s up?” he asked leaning against the wall and I stood next to him before talking.

“That night I came to you, josh and I had pretty much ended things. He accused me of cheating on him with you, and it wasn’t the first time either. I just didn’t know where else to go, im sorry”

“Hey it’s ok, I had no idea” he said pulling me into him. “You and josh always seemed so perfect for each other, like nothing could ever break you apart. But I’m glad you did come to me”

“Thank you for being there Tommy, even though you had no idea what was going on” I smiled and he just laughed before pulling away but leaving one arm around my shoulders.

“No problem. Everything’s alright now though yeah?”

“It’s getting there” I replied, not wanting to waste anymore of his time rambling on about my love life. “So what was oli doing just now then?” I asked referring to the fact he’d dragged him in light a naughty school boy.

“Oh he keeps hitting on that mate of yours liana, I swear I might have to lock him up”

I just laughed and we headed back inside to find oli gone and shouts coming from another room. Everyone seemed to run towards the sound and tom and I pushed out way through to find oli being held back by some guys, Freddy by some others and liana was standing a little bit away with tears in her eyes.

I ran straight over to her and pulled her into a hug. She held me tightly and after a few seconds I felt her shake and knew she was crying.

Freddy managed to break free and just left the house without saying a word and tom grabbed oli before taking him upstairs. I led liana into the kitchen and grabbed her a drink.

“We were only dancing, and then suddenly Freddy comes over threatening to smash his face in” she hiccupped “I guess our rides gone”

Tom came back then and apologised for oil’s behaviour before leaving. Liana just nodded and I have him a quick hug before he went and then josh came over, placing his arm around my waist and his hand on her liana shoulder.

“Listen, Dan’s sober. He’s offered to take you two home if you want”

“Thanks josh” I replied and he just smiled sadly before dan came over to us.

“I’ll come with yeah? I’m kinda over this”

“You sure?”

“Positive” he smiled and the four of us said our goodbyes before getting in the car. Josh sat up front with dan and I sat in the middle with liana in the back. Her head was on my shoulder and she was crying silently. I texted Freddy letting him know she was saying with me, and when we got home, dan and josh helped me get her in.

We put her on the sofa before getting pillows and blankets and letting her sleep. I said goodbye to dan and he went back to the car, but josh stayed on the door step.

“So I never got to thank you for the flowers, they’re really beautiful”

“My pleasure” he smiled and then bent down to kiss me on the corner of my lips. I wanted to just kiss him properly and when he pulled back I could tell he saw it in my eyes. He just smiled though and kissed my forehead. “Sleep well violet”

“Thanks, and tell dan I said thanks again”

“Will do” he said and then made his way back down the path.

I checked back on liana and found she was asleep already so I just went up and went to bed myself. Maybe things would be better in the morning. Well at least that what I hopped.