The Kind of Hoax That Leaves a Lump in Your Throat

“Vi, are you sure about this?”

“Yes Li, im 100% sure”

“Fine, when do you want it?”

“As soon as possible”

“Lemme just see, 1 sec” she mumbled and I heard her flipping through pages on the on the other end of the line. “Ok how about next Friday about 10ish”

“Sure that’s fine, thank you”

“No problem love, speak soon”

“Bye” I sung and then ended the call.

I’d spoken to liana about what went down between her and Freddy after I left and she said they’d worked things out and everything was fine again.

Nice and easy for some eh?

The next day was Sunday and coral was bouncing about trying to get things planned. She’d invited a few of her model friends and asked if I’d invite the girls and josh and the boys.

She decided to have it in the pub nearest us, the same one josh and I had our fight outside of. I was a bit sceptical at first but it wasn’t about me, this was gonna be corals day so I complied.

It was set for the Friday at the of this week and as the days went by coral went from excited to nervous. By Friday she was a mess so Sonnie had to take over.

“She’s such a perfectionist” he smiled looking over at her. He got this look on his face whenever he looked at her. Like the sight of her seemed to turn this switch on inside of him. It gave me hope that one day josh and I would work things out again.

I made my excuses and snuck out to meet liana when I said I would and made it back within two hours. But then Oakley and Zahra where there and wanted to know where I’d been. I told them I’d been speaking to the manager of the pub one last time and they seemed to buy it.

Charlie, Ali, Liana and Freddy all turned up at once and then josh and the boys about half an hour afterwards. I was running late though since I was trying to sort things out so I sent them all on there way at about half 7 so I could finish getting ready and them meet them there.

“I’ll wait and walk with you” josh said, taking a seat on the sofa.

“You sure?”

“Positive”

“Alright well I shouldn’t be too long, I just need to get dressed” I said and then ran up the stairs. I pulled on a pair of black skinny jeans and a black blouse with a white collar before slipping on a pair of black heals. After checking myself over in the mirror once I pulled on a black cardigan, grabbed my bag and then went down to meet josh.

“You ready?” I said and he nodded jumping up. His eyes raked over me with that small smile playing on his lips and I couldn’t contain the blush that crept over my cheeks. Hopefully the foundation that Charlie caked on me would hide it.

“You look beautiful as always” he smiled and then tugged on my cardie. “You probably won’t need this though; it’s still pretty hot out” he said, still tugging on it, I didn’t wanna take it off though and pulled back, but his hand caught my wrist and I winced in pain. “Shit violet what’s wrong?”

I let out a small breath and shook my head. “Nothing” I managed to get out and then shook my head as if it would somehow get rid of the pain. “Come on, let’s go, we don’t wanna be late”

“Wait vi, what’s wrong, let me see” he said, reaching for me but I flinched away. The look of hurt that crossed his face made my heart break, but then it was like a light had gone off over his head and he looked at me like I might break. “No violet, please don’t tell me you have” he asked panicked.

“What?”

“Look I know things are bad, but they’re getting better right? You don’t need to do that”

“Josh I have no idea what you’re on about”

“We can get you help yeah? Everything’s gonna be ok”

“Josh-“

“Just let me see how bad it is, I wanna help Vi but you have to let me in”

“How bad what is?”

“Your cuts” he said with a gulp and his voice dropped so it was quieter.

There were a few moments of silence where we just stared at each other, not knowing what to say. He though I’d cut myself? did I really look that unstable?

“Josh, you’ve completely got the wrong end of the stick, I haven’t cut myself” I said and he looked at me with wide eyes.

“Then why does it hurt and why won’t you let me see?”

“Cause…” I trailed off not being able to find an excuse. I looked and saw it was nearly 8 o’clock and shrugged. “Guess half an hour won’t make any different right?” I said to him and he looked at me like I’d spoken to him in another language. “Just sit down a sec” I said pointing to the sofa and he did just that. I pulled my cardigan off and sat down next to him. “This was meant to be a surprise. I’m not supposed to take this stuff off for another half an hour but I don’t suppose it will make much difference” I then showed my Clingfilm covered wrists to him and he furrowed his eyebrows.

“What the…” he started but I just smiled lightly and started to unwrap my left wrist. Once that was done I did the right one. They were still a bit red, but other than that it looked fine. josh moved me so I was sitting on his lap and he was behind me before resting his head on my shoulder and putting his arms around me, holding my arms up so he could see a little better.

Once he had he let out a small gasp and I took it as my queue to talk in fear of him rambling about everything that pops into his head.

“I was listening to crash the other day. I haven’t really listened to it in forever because I just couldn’t face it. But I did and there were those lines keep me in your skin, keep me in your chest, and I figured you were already in my chest, so it was just the other one I needed. So then I carried on listening and I guess I thought these two lines sum us up really well.”

Josh started to trace the words with a feather light touch which was making my heart begin to race.

“We try and run away, but end up running back” he sung in my ear and I couldn’t help but smile. “Good choice” he whispered and then I felt his lips on my temple. “Vi this is like permanent you know that right.”

“Yes josh im not an idiot”

“I know but like, it’s gonna be there forever”

“Well I’m hoping you will be to, so then it won’t matter” I whispered and he held me to him tighter, letting his hot breath fall onto my neck before he kissed it softly.

“Im sorry I accused you of cutting” he whispered in my hair and then we turned so we were facing each other better.

“Its ok, it must have seemed pretty weird” I said and then stood up. josh took my hands and kissed each wrist before getting up.

“You know, ive seen a lot of tattoo’s with our lyrics before, but this has to be the best one yet. Thank you violet, you’re amazing”

“I know” I joked and we both laughed. “So you wanna get going?” I asked and he nodded before we both headed out. We walked out the house and once we got to the end of the front garden he reached for my hand and our fingers intertwined together.

I swear I felt my heart burst. It’s strange how such a simple thing can mean so much and make you feel so much. Sure he was only holing my hand, and even though it was such an innocent gesture, it said so much. Just the simple contact set my skin alight.

So we walked along, hand in hand, not saying anything because words weren’t needed. We both knew what the other was thinking.

I remember Charlie once telling me to stop worrying and just to have faith that things will work themselves out eventually cause that’s how things are meant to be.

Sure this wasn’t how I planned things to go, but it was safe to say things were working out and im sure would only get better from this point on.