Thinking Of You

Faith woke up to find herself in bed. She looked over to where Kevin was to find him not there. She moved to her side and gasped in pain. It all flooded back, the alley way, Mike’s hands, what he threatened and what he did to her. Her lip was sore and her head ached. She slowly sat up and her eyes focused on Phil who was sat watching the TV the volume turned down low. He slowly glanced over and didn’t realise she was sat up at first but when he did he got up quickly.
“Faith, how do you feel?” He knew it was a stupid question, but he didn’t know what else to say. She tried a couple of times to answer, her voice broke as she finally did so.
“I…I hurt so much, I…feel so dirty.” She tried to keep herself composed and managed to keep the tears from falling.
“Do you want me to order room service or do you want to go down stairs. Whichever you want we’ll do.” She knew she couldn’t hide away and Kevin would soon wonder where she was, but what if Mike was downstairs? She couldn’t face him, she needed out of that storyline. She stepped out of bed her legs a little wobbly and looked at herself, Phil’s face etched with concern. She was remotely presentable and had made her choice.
“I’ll go down, I need to speak with Kevin.” She was happy she sounded almost like herself, but she saw the anger in Phil’s eyes and remembered his reaction to Kevin months ago and now this he…
“Phil, it wasn’t Kevin. He didn’t ra…hurt me it was…” But his name caught in her throat. If Phil knew, Mike might cost Kevin his job and he’d come for her again, she couldn’t bare either thought. Phil took one of her hands.
“Faith you can tell me, if it wasn’t Kevin then who was it? I can’t help you if you don’t tell me.” She shook her head she couldn’t, she wanted to, but she couldn’t. She walked towards the door and Phil followed her he put his hand on her arm and she flinched, but relaxed as he took his hand from her feeling stupid. Phil would never hurt her, she was being silly. But at his touch she could only think of Mike’s grubby hands touching her. They walked out and down to the restaurant in silence. Phil guided her to an area of the restaurant that was reasonably empty, her eyes searching for Mike, not wanting to be in the same room as him. She sat down and pulled her knees up to her chin. She had to tell someone what had happened, but how could she? Phil brought her pancakes covered in chocolate and a sweet tea. He sat across from her giving her some space, he knew she flinched when he touched her and didn’t want her to feel crowded. He sat there watching her. It pained him to see her so broken. Even when her cancer was at its worse she was still smiling, she was still a trooper. But she looked so fragile and broken right now. He started to think about who else could have done this to her. He couldn’t believe he hadn’t thought of it straight away, but as he went to ask, Kevin stormed into the restaurant.
“I can’t believe you’d fucking do this to me!” Faith looked up at him startled and a little frightened by his tone. Phil was ready to deck him, when Kevin saw the bruise on her face and her lip that was split. “Faith what did he do? You did this to her? You may have done things like that when you were together, but she’s mine, my…” Phil was getting angrier by the second, he knew they were attracting a crowd.
“Kevin, it wasn’t him. I was, he…” She broke out in a sob. Phil went to go to her, but Kevin glared and sat down next to her.
“Babe you can tell me.” She took a deep breath and composed herself. She needed to tell him, she had to. Mike couldn’t get away with it and Kevin would protect her if Mike tried anything and so would Phil.
“It was Mike last night…. I was walking back to the hotel…he grabbed…me. I tried so hard t-to fight him. He hit me s-ss-so hard I…blacked out….He raped me…Kevin.” She looked at him expecting to see love and sadness for allowing this to happen to her, but what she got was anger.
“What is your god damn problem. Mike has done nothing but help boost your career! He’s my best friend and you expect me to believe he would do something as vile as that to you?! Are you outta you’re mind.”
“Don’t talk to her like that you think she’s making it up?! You only have to look at her to see something happened. That son of a bitc…”
“Oh I know she’s making it up. And I can see now the reason why.” Phil and Faith looked at him in confusion, Faith with tears running down her face and Phil with anger in his eyes. “She’s saying it to cover up that she spent the night with you. You fucked her didn’t you. You fucked this hobo Faith! Funny you said you would never leave me for him, ever.”
“Kevin.. . I… didn’t he found me in the lifts. He took..”
“Shut up!” Faith’s face blanched as she saw Mike come up behind Kevin.
“Hey guys what’s going on?” Phil launched himself at Mike, but Kevin got in the way. “Whoa what’s your problem Phil?” Mike asked Faith pulled herself from her seat and got between Kevin and Phil, Phil backing down.
“My girlfriend just cheated on me with her ex, who didn’t care enough about her to stay by her when she was going to die. Oh and apparently you raped her.”
“What, Faith why would you say that? I know in the ring and in the promo’s I’m not exactly a gentleman, but I wouldn’t dream of doing something like that.” He went to touch her shoulder and she flinched, Phil grabbed her and stepped in front of her.
“Don’t you dare fucking touch her, you disgust me!” Things were getting more heated by the second and Mike was loving it. Faith however couldn’t take anymore as she fled from the restaurant. As Phil and Kevin continued to argue Kofi coming over and trying to break it up, Mike left following Faith. She got to her room before he did and shut the door sliding down it and crying her heart out. She never imagined as a child or a teenager that her life would go like this.
“Here kitty, kitty.” Mike chuckled through the door her heart stopping. He tried the door, but it was locked. She scrambled away grabbing her phone and running to the bathroom locking that door. She phoned Kevin, but the second he answered he hung up and turned his cell off. Nobody else knew except Phil. She called his number and he answered almost straight away.
“Faith where are you?”
“Phil! He’s outside my room!” She panicked.
“Faith lock yourself in the bathroom I’ll be right there.” He hung up. Faith felt like a child hiding away from the bogey man. She was scared at what he might do to her. And so hurt with Kevin not believing her. She was friends with him for a long time before he was friends with Mike and she had been dating him longer too. So why didn’t he believe her? She couldn’t understand.
A loud knocking brought her from her thoughts. She daren’t move in case it was Mike.
“Faith it’s me!” She scrambled up and unlocked the bathroom door and the room door to see Phil. He wrapped his arms around her and she let him, feeling safe and secure. “He’d gone by the time I’d gotten up here.” He said walking into the room with her. She sighed, hadn’t she been punished enough for one life time first cancer and now this?
“You didn’t hurt Kevin did you?” She asked timidly and pulled away to sit on the sofa.
“No I didn’t, but I should have!” He snapped, but immediately regretted it. “Sorry it’s not your fault.” He sighed rubbing his hands over his face. Kevin had just treated her like crap, but she still cared about him.
“He didn’t mean it, he was angry. I understand he feels threatened by you.”
“He has a reason to though, doesn’t he? I think you know I still love you, but I know you still love me, whether you want to admit it or not. And you may not love me as much as Kevin, but it’s still there.” He crouched down taking her hands. “Every day I hated myself for not staying with you. But I knew that you sending me away like you did, it wasn’t just saving me, but you as well. You didn’t want to see me fall apart as I watched you die. But when I found out you were alive, when you showed up. I hated myself, all I could think about was what would have happened if I’d have stayed. I can’t help thinking of you all the time.” He sighed squeezing her hands.
“It doesn’t matter how you feel or I feel. I love Kevin and I will never leave him. He has been there through some of my toughest moments. I.. I know you were there for me through my cancer Phil and I wouldn’t change any moment of it. But I’m with Kevin now, no amount of shoulda, woulda, coulda’s can change that.”
“You have a funny way of showing how you care. I find you again with him and in our room no less.”
“Phil can you…”He didn’t need to be asked, his heart ached for her, but he wouldn’t push. Kevin was already on thin ice and he needed to be there when Kevin screwed up. “Kevin.” She got up and went to him, she knew better than to try and hold him so she took his hand. “I love you. I want you. I want it to be ma and you. I never slept Phil, even when we were together I had never slept with him. He found me and cleaned me up last night. I was too afraid to sleep in our room in case you weren’t back. Think about it. How did my face end up bruised and my lip cut? Do you think if Phil had done it, I would have not told you? I’ve been asking for weeks for Mike to stop for you to stop him. But last night he took it a step to far, he…raped me.” She choked out the last words.
“How can you expect me to believe that?”
“Because it’s the truth. Kevin think how long you’ve known me for, just as best friends and then add the time we’ve been a couple. How can you not believe me? I wouldn’t make something so horrible up.” She was getting angry and desperate. She needed him to believe her. She needed him to hold her and make everything ok like he always did. She pulled at the joggers and her top. “Look at me Kevin! Do you think for one second I would let anyone do this to me and get away with it! Or at least not tell you so you could help make it better?” He stood pulling a sheet from the bed and wrapping it around her naked body.
“Faith…” He wanted to believe her, but it was Mike. Mike who had got him where he was today, he wouldn’t, he knew he was going to ask her to be his wife. But the pain in her eyes, the state of her body all cut and bruised. She wouldn’t lie, would she?