I Can't Not Love You

[Jack]

I walked off stage behind Zack, rubbing the sweat off my face. We had just finished playing a show in San Antonio, Texas. It was definitely the hottest show of the tour so far – the venue was really small and the heat was almost unbearable, despite the fact that it was February. The body heat of us and all the fans was enough to make it hot in here.

“I’m so sweaty!” I whined, shaking my head like a dog when we got into the back room.

“Jack! Gross!” Rian complained, shielding himself from the sweat that flung off my hair. Zack pulled his shirt over his head, squeezing it and making sweat pour out.

“That’s more gross than Jack’s hair,” Alex chuckled, kicking his shoes off his feet and pulling his shirt off.

“Look who’s talking – you have sweat pouring out of your hair too,” I scoffed, pulling an ice cold water bottle out and taking a long drink.

“Touché. Hey, gimme some of that,” Alex insisted, grabbing the water bottle from my hands.

“You dick, get your own!” I complained, trying to snatch it back. He jumped onto the couch and stood there as he drank it, so he was just out of my reach. I was about to push him down when he handed it back to me, half empty now.

“There. I just wanted a drink,” Alex said, sticking his tongue out at me.

“I wouldn’t drink that if I were you,” Zack said to me quickly. “Alex sucks John off with that mouth.”

“Ew!” I screeched, throwing the water bottle back at Alex and soaking him with the remaining water.

“Come on, I’m wet enough already!” Alex whined, dripping wet now. “And we haven’t even done anything together today!”

“Yet,” Rian mused, peeling his shirt off.

Flyzik walked into the room, wrinkling his nose up at us, “You guys stink. It reeks of sweat in here.”

Alex grinned and held his arms out, walking toward Flyzik, “Want a hug?”

“Don’t touch me!” Flyzik exclaimed, ducking out of his reach and running across the room.

“It smells like a gym in here,” Danny said as he walked into the room. “You four stink.”

“That’s what I just said,” Flyzik laughed. “You guys really need to go shower before you go out and meet fans. There’s a communal shower, so you can all just shower at once.”

“No! I hate those!” I said, shaking my head immediately. Being naked in a shower with Alex is one of the more embarrassing experiences of touring. He laughs at me whenever I end up with an unfortunate boner in front of them. At least he doesn’t know that it’s because of him though.

“Jack, just go shower. I’m not letting you onto the bus smelling like that,” Flyzik demanded.

I screeched when I suddenly felt myself being picked up and thrown over a shoulder. I recognized the tattoo on Zack’s back and started pounding on his sweaty back, “Let me down!”

“Come on, loser. We all stink; we have to shower,” Zack chuckled, holding onto my legs tightly so I couldn’t kick him or get down.

“You gonna strip me when we get there too?” I asked sarcastically, stopping my struggling.

“No thanks.”

I groaned when Zack sent me down in the bathroom with the shower, and the other three just laughed at me. “C’mon dude, just go wash up,” Alex said, smacking me on the ass as he pulled the rest of his clothes off. I squeaked. Not helping!

I kept my arms crossed in defiance until they all started to shower, and then I finally undressed with a sigh and joined them. I was sticky with sweat and really wanted to get rid of the gross feeling. I was thankful that it was steamy enough that you couldn’t see much except for the top halves of our bodies.

“Look who decided to join us,” Rian teased.

“Shut up,” I rolled my eyes, snatching the shampoo from Alex and turning one of the other showers on.

“I wasn’t done with that!” Alex protested.

“I just need a handful of it,” I said, squirting it into my hand and chucking the bottle back at him. I scrubbed my hair, ignoring the other three as they flung soap and stuff at each other. The water suddenly got really hot and I shrieked, “Ouch! That’s fucking hot!”

I jumped out of the line of spray, bumping into Zack and slipping. “Jack!” Zack exclaimed, falling and tripping Alex in the process. Alex yelled and grabbed onto Rian to try and steady himself, but just ended up falling down and taking Rian with him. I ended up on the bottom of a doggy pile, my three naked friends on top of me.

“This is like a fucking orgy,” Alex giggled from under Rian, flicking his hair aside to stop water from dripping in his face. We were still being hit by streams of water from the showers.

“Unlike you and Jack, Rian and I are straight and don’t want a gay orgy – get off!” Zack whined, but he was laughing.

“Soap is getting in my eyes! I’m going to drown!” I yelled out, pushing Zack in the abs as I rubbed soap out of my face. I was on the bottom of the doggy pile, against the germy shower floor. Gross. I was going to need to wash myself all over again. Rian was on the very top, so we couldn’t get up until he did.

“What’s going on in here? We heard falling and- holy shit! Nevermind!” We all looked up to see Flyzik there, shielding his eyes. All four of us started laughing.

“Totally not what it looks like!” Rian exclaimed, scrambling off the top of us so everyone else could get up.

“I don’t even want to know!”

--------------------

As soon as we finished showering and meeting some fans, Alex instantly reattached himself to John. I scowled when I saw them kissing against our bus. Alex was confusing the hell out of me lately. One minute he’s joking around and trying to make me laugh, and the next minute he’s with John and won’t even talk to me. Even on stage during our shows, Alex wouldn’t goof around as much as usual. He still made the occasional joke or remark, but he had been staying away from any sexual comments lately. And he definitely hadn’t kissed me on the stage in front of the crowd anymore. As much as I had hated it before, I realized now that I was beginning to miss it. Alex and I were drifting even farther apart and I was probably to blame for that. My avoiding him was making it even more painful for me.

“Hey, you guys!” Alex said, running up to Rian and I. “A bunch of us are going to go to the bar – do you want to come?”

“Sure, sounds fun,” Rian grinned.

I shook my head, muttering, “No, I’m staying here. Not in the mood.”

“Suit yourself,” Alex shrugged, leading Rian over to John and the others. I glanced back and saw some of my friends looking at me as I got onto the bus and shoved the door shut behind me. I kicked off my shoes and my jacket then headed to my bunk to find some different clothes. I changed into my sweats and t-shirt before heading into the back lounge, plopping myself down on the couch. I guess I’ll be lying here watching Home Alone all night.

Five minutes into the movie, I heard voices coming from the front. Who was back on the bus? The door to the back lounge opened and I was surprised to see Zack, Evan, Danny, Vinny, Garrett, and Pat walk in.

“Hey Jack!” Pat greeted, smiling and sitting down on the couch.

I sat up, allowing the others to sit down around me, “What are you guys doing here? Aren’t you going to the bar with the other guys?”

“Nah,” Garrett shook his head. “We would just end up watching Alex and John make out all night, anyway.”

“Yeah, and there’s plenty of beer on the bus if we want to drink,” Evan pointed out, pulling his shoes off and leaning back on the couch.

“We decided it would be more fun to stick around here with you. You could use some company,” Zack smiled, and I smiled slightly. Okay, so maybe some of my friends do care about me.

“Even Vinny wanted to stay here?” I asked in disbelief, looking at Vinny.

Vinny nodded, patting at his abdomen as he leaned back. “Bro, it’s a health hazard for me to go to the bar. If I drink much more, my liver will croak.”