Confession
Chapter 1
Patrick sighed as he walked to Pete in the living area of their bus. After a long talk with Andy they had agreed that Patrick had to say something now.
Nine months had passed since Patrick had told Pete he liked him. It was after a show in London and he blurted it out so fast Pete wasn’t sure what Patrick had said to him. It took them a while but they made it official and had their first kiss a month later.
Pete’s mood swings often made it difficult for them to get close but Patrick always helped him. If Pete even had a single depressed thought, Patrick was there to comfort him. He constantly pushed his own pain into the back of his mind to help Pete. Of course this meant that Patrick’s emotions always came second. He felt he could tell Pete anything, except his pain.
Patrick tried to overcome this slowly. He and Pete used to text a lot since they don’t live together when they’re not on tour. He would tell him then, because it is always easier to write something down then say it to his face. Unfortunately Pete was wrapped up in his own pain. He would reply comparing it to his pain, saying that it isn’t depression. Patrick knows Pete is trying to help him but it isn’t working. It’s like he’s simply trying to shut Patrick up.
But now that they’re on tour again there’s no hiding and texting what cannot be said face-to-face.
Patrick dragged Pete around to the back of the buses and took a deep breath to calm himself. This was not going to be easy, but it had to be done.
“Pete, I need to talk to you, seriously.”
Pete scratched his head, “Have I done something wrong?”
“Well... kinda yeah but please just let me tell you everything. I don’t want this to be an emotional break-up or anything.”
Pete was worried now. He nodded to show he understood and braced himself for the worst.
“Pete you’re self-absorbed. This is horrible because I know that I do the same thing. When you tell me there is something wrong I automatically relate it to myself, but I try not to make it about me. I try my best to help you and from what I’ve seen it’s worked. But I need you to do the same. Whenever I try to tell you that I’m hurting, you don’t help me. Hell, sometimes you ignore it completely and that hurts more than the reason I’m hurting in the first place.”
Patrick blinked away tears and breathed for a moment before continuing. “Pete, I need to know that you care for me half as much as I care for you. Because I don’t want us to end, I just want you give a shit about me... Just because a depression isn’t labelled doesn’t mean it isn’t there. I need you to care, because if you don’t I don’t think anybody will. I know this is selfish of me but I need this. Please Pete...”
Pete stared in shock. He had no idea what to do.
Nine months had passed since Patrick had told Pete he liked him. It was after a show in London and he blurted it out so fast Pete wasn’t sure what Patrick had said to him. It took them a while but they made it official and had their first kiss a month later.
Pete’s mood swings often made it difficult for them to get close but Patrick always helped him. If Pete even had a single depressed thought, Patrick was there to comfort him. He constantly pushed his own pain into the back of his mind to help Pete. Of course this meant that Patrick’s emotions always came second. He felt he could tell Pete anything, except his pain.
Patrick tried to overcome this slowly. He and Pete used to text a lot since they don’t live together when they’re not on tour. He would tell him then, because it is always easier to write something down then say it to his face. Unfortunately Pete was wrapped up in his own pain. He would reply comparing it to his pain, saying that it isn’t depression. Patrick knows Pete is trying to help him but it isn’t working. It’s like he’s simply trying to shut Patrick up.
But now that they’re on tour again there’s no hiding and texting what cannot be said face-to-face.
Patrick dragged Pete around to the back of the buses and took a deep breath to calm himself. This was not going to be easy, but it had to be done.
“Pete, I need to talk to you, seriously.”
Pete scratched his head, “Have I done something wrong?”
“Well... kinda yeah but please just let me tell you everything. I don’t want this to be an emotional break-up or anything.”
Pete was worried now. He nodded to show he understood and braced himself for the worst.
“Pete you’re self-absorbed. This is horrible because I know that I do the same thing. When you tell me there is something wrong I automatically relate it to myself, but I try not to make it about me. I try my best to help you and from what I’ve seen it’s worked. But I need you to do the same. Whenever I try to tell you that I’m hurting, you don’t help me. Hell, sometimes you ignore it completely and that hurts more than the reason I’m hurting in the first place.”
Patrick blinked away tears and breathed for a moment before continuing. “Pete, I need to know that you care for me half as much as I care for you. Because I don’t want us to end, I just want you give a shit about me... Just because a depression isn’t labelled doesn’t mean it isn’t there. I need you to care, because if you don’t I don’t think anybody will. I know this is selfish of me but I need this. Please Pete...”
Pete stared in shock. He had no idea what to do.