Forget Yesterday

Jack smiled to himself, humming under his breath as he unlocked his front door. Life couldn’t get any sweeter than it was right now. His accounts and clients were running smoothly at work, his relationship with Alex was only getting better and better, and his phonecall with Charlotte yesterday left him buzzing for Emma’s visit this weekend. Everything was perfect right now.

Nothing could bring him down.

Shutting and bolting the front door behind him, Jack had just hung up his coat when his home phone started to ring. Charlotte’s mom? What the hell? She never rang him. Oh well, he might as well answer.

“Jack? Oh God Jack, I thought I’d have to leave a message!”

Woah, she sounds like she’s crying! What was going on? Was Emma okay?!

“What’s wrong?” Jack asked as calmly as possible.

“It’s…It’s not Emma…It’s Charlotte. Oh God, there was an accident, a car hit hers while going too fast, and she…she didn’t make it!” Charlotte’s mom wailed.

Nothing could bring him down. How wrong could he have been? Everything around Jack felt like it slowed down to nothing, his whole world freezing around him. Charlotte…Charlotte was dead? The mother of his daughter was dead? Jack could barely understand the long ramble Charlotte’s mom started, too numb to process the words, but he noticed when she stopped, her sobbing quieting a little.

“I-I am so sorry. Oh shit, I can’t believe it! She’s really…gone?” Jack choked.

“Died on impact. No suffering at all,”

Well at least that was something. He just…how could she be dead? He only talked to her yesterday!

“Do you want me to come down for a while? I could help out with…stuff,” Jack offered.

How the hell would he know what to do?!

“N-No, it’s okay. We’ll arrange everything and let you know. Um, but there is one thing we need to talk about,” Charlotte’s mom sniffed.

“Okay?” Jack asked, head still spinning.

“Charlotte wrote a will, I’m not sure why she wrote one so early but anyway…she’s left full guardianship of Emma to you,”

W-What? Full-guardianship?

“S-She did?” Jack managed to splutter.

“We understand that it’s a big responsibility, and that you have your own life, but this is what Charlotte wanted. Harold and I have talked about it, and if it isn’t suitable for Emma to live full-time with you then we’ll take her in,”

“But Harold has a really bad back now,” Jack blurted.

There was only a slight pause.

“We know, but this Emma we’re talking about. She’s our granddaughter and we love her, regardless. It is completely up to you, Jack. Completely,”

Oh shit. Oh shit. What the hell was he supposed to say? This was his daughter they were talking about. His precious Emma. She’d be hurting right now, really bad. He hated to see her hurt. So he knew what his answer was.

“When can I pick her up?” Jack asked.

*

“Charlotte’s dead? Like, dead dead?” Vinny asked softly.

“There was something about a car crash and that she died on impact. I couldn’t really process what else her mom said. I was just…fuck, I was just in too much shock. I mean…I’ve known Charlotte for so long, and after everything that happened between us…”

“I know, Jackary, I know. You were so close to her,” Vinny interrupted, understanding.

All Jack could do was sigh. So much was running through his head right now – do I pack up all Emma’s stuff when we get there or do I wait? and how much does Emma truly know and will I have to explain it to her? and how the fuck can I cope with a 5 year old 24/7?

“What do I do, Vin?” Jack asked hopelessly.

“You take it one day at a time. Things will be rough, don’t get me wrong. It was hell when my Dad died and my Mom spiralled downwards, but we made it through. You’ll make it through as well,” Vinny reassured.

“You think so?” Jack asked.

“I know so. You will have to tell Alex though,”

“What?” Jack frowned.

“He’s part of your life now, and Emma becoming full-time affects that,” Vinny pointed out.

Shit. Jack hadn’t thought of that.

“Look, whatever you want to do, however you want to do it, I have your back. You’ve got my full support, okay Jack? But you need to tell Alex,”

“Yeah, okay, I will,”

“Now?” Vinny prompted.

“Oh, right. Yeah, okay. I’ll, um, I’ll talk to you later?” Jack said softly.

“Text or call me whenever. Even in the middle of the fucking night, man,” Vinny said firmly.

“I don’t know what I’d do without you,” Jack sighed.

“Thankfully, you’ll never have to find that out. Now go to Alex, I’ll know whether you do or not,” Vinny said.

Jack sighed again, and ended the call. It was true that Vinny would find out if Jack had told Alex. He had a way with these types of things. Best to rip it off like a band-aid, right?

All too soon later, Jack was standing in front of Alex and Rian’s apartment door, waiting for it to open.

“Jack? What’s wrong? You look terrible,”

Jack knew that. Pale skin, purple bags under his eyes, bloodshot eyes from crying…he knew exactly how he looked.

“Can I come in?” Jack asked quietly.

“Of course. Do you want a drink or anything?” Alex asked worriedly.

“No. I just need to talk to you,”

Jack winced as Alex swallowed heavily but lead Jack to the living area. There was a couple of seconds of silence before Jack could bring himself to talk, but Alex waited patiently.

“I got a call from Charlotte’s mom today. Charlotte…um, Charlotte was in an accident…and she…fuck, she didn’t make it,” Jack choked.

Tears filled his eyes again. Somehow Jack knew that no matter how many times he said it, it wouldn’t make losing Charlotte any easier.

“Oh shit. Jack, I am so sorry! Was it…um…was it bad?” Alex asked softly.

“No, there wasn’t any suffering. She died on impact, apparently. But she…she’s gone, Lex. Like, really gone. I only spoke to her yesterday and I’ll never get to do that again!” Jack whimpered.

Within an instant, Alex wrapped his arms around Jack’s shoulder, letting the older man cry into his chest. Jack just clutched at Alex’s t-shirt, letting his tears soak the material, wishing the pain away. How was this fair? Charlotte was one of the kindest people he’d ever met!

“It’ll be okay, Jack. Things will take time to heal, but it’ll be okay,” Alex soothed, rubbing Jack’s back lightly.

After a minute or so of Alex murmuring nonsense and soothing words, Jack managed to compose himself enough to sit upright.

“There’s more,” he mumbled.

Alex’s eyebrows shot upright, but he nodded.

“Charlotte wrote a will and gave full custody of Emma to me,”

“Woah,” Alex gasped.

“I know. Emma will be living with me 24/7 and I had to be honest with you because this will affect everything,” Jack said sadly.

Alex chewed his bottom lip for a few seconds before looking at Jack properly.

“Emma is your daughter, Jack, a big responsibility and your main priority…so I fully understand if you want me to back off for a while, give you some space or something, to make things easier,” Alex said quietly.

Woah. Not what Jack was expecting.

“Please don’t,” Jack whimpered.

“What?” Alex frowned.

“Please don’t back away. I’ve just lost Charlotte – I can’t lose you too. I need you more than ever right now. And Emma will need the familiar face too. Please, don’t leave,” Jack begged, almost desperate.

“Hey, ssh, if you don’t want me to leave then I’m not going anywhere. I’m serious about you, Jack, just as much as you are with me. If Emma is in your life 24/7 then she’s in mine too. We’ll make this work, I promise,” Alex said firmly.

All Jack could do was press his lips firmly to Alex’s, grateful, happy and relieved. How had he gotten so lucky as to get a boyfriend as understanding as Alex?

“Promise me everything will be okay eventually?” Jack asked, breaking the kiss.

“I promise,” Alex nodded.

That was all Jack needed to hear.