Like No Other

I was falling for Cassie. Is that even possible? Only after a month. The best month of my life, but still, it was only a month. Every minute I spent with Cassie, and those moments when I was away from her, I couldn’t stop thinking about her. I’d been in love before. But never like this. Maybe this was different because I was completely open and honest with her like I had never been with anyone else in my entire life.
These past few weeks have consisted of us doing some late night Zombie movie watching, hanging with the guys, and just spending every moment together, getting to know each other from the inside and out. Cassie was the most beautiful and amazing girl I’d ever met. I used to laugh at people who said “I love you” over such a short time of being together, but now I finally understood.
We were lying in bed, just cuddling and talking. “What are you thinking about?” she asked, her breath tickling my skin.
“Cassie, I think…” my phone rang before I got it out. Perfect timing.
I held up one finger and answered not even looking at the caller ID, “Hello?”
“Is this Jeremy Fielding?” a professional voice came over the phone.
I cleared my throat. “Um, yes. May I ask who’s calling?”
“Yes, this is Sharon from Renaissance Rehabilitation Clinic. You’re mother and father attend here. Is that correct?” my heart fell to my stomach.
“Yes, that is correct,” I turned around and gave Cassie a look.
“Speakerphone,” she mouthed to me. I clicked over so we could both hear.
“I’m just calling to ask if you’ve heard from or perhaps seen your parents at all this week,” her voice projected from the phone and through the room.
“Um, no I have not. Is there a problem?” I asked, growing more worried by the second.
“Yes, it seems as if you’re parents have dropped from the program.”
“Well I have no idea where they are,” I tried to keep my voice from shaking, but you couldn’t ignore the tremor in my voice.
Cassie started to get our things together.
“If you find them, you can bring them back here and they have to be put on lockdown. Please notify us if you find out any more information and we’ll do the same for you,” she said before hanging up.
“Let’s go,” she grabbed my shaking hand and we headed out of the apartment and out to the van.
She hopped in the driver’s seat, taking out her phone. She called Marcus.
“Mark,” she said when he answered. She explained to him what had happened.
“He said him and his parents are going to go out looking,” she told me after she got off the phone with him. I just stared straight ahead. “Jeremy.” I looked over to her. “Focus, is there any place you think they might have gone?”
We checked at their house first, but it was vacant. Then I gave her directions to a couple of spots they would meet their dealer at. I honestly had no idea. We looked around until it got dark outside. No luck. We called Marcus back but they had no luck either. I felt completely hopeless. They said they would try. They promised.
I visited them at Renaissance when they were sober. We talked and talked. It felt like I finally had my parents again. They promised they would stick with it this time and not give up for me. How could they do this to me? Again.
I sighed in despair, wanting to cry out of frustration. We found such a nice place for them to go and spent all this time and money on making sure they were in the right place that could meet their needs to the fullest and this is how they repay me?
Cassie reached over and patted my shoulder. “We’ll find them, even if we have to search all day tomorrow from dawn to dusk. Jeremy, it’s going to be okay.” I nodded, wanting so badly to agree with her.

**********

When he dropped me off at the house, I felt completely heartbroken for him. By the time I got to the door, tears already filled my eyes. I ran into my sister’s room. She was sitting on the bed.
“Cassie, what’s wrong?” Angie was the only one I told about Jeremy. I told her the events of the day as she held me, rocking me back and forth.
“I just feel so bad for him,” my voice croaked and new tears formed.
“Oh Cassie,” Angie rubbed my hair and the pulled me back, wiping the tears off my cheeks. “Cass, even if you do find them, do you really think they will go back to rehab? You can’t help someone who isn’t willing to help themselves.”
“They said they would. They promised Jeremy. They promised…” I trailed off.
Angie and I stayed up until about eleven talking about everything. We talked about Jeremy a little more and then we talked about Jack and the wedding that was only three weeks away.
At 11:08 I headed back up to my room. I texted Jeremy good night but he didn’t reply. I laid down and tried to sleep. After ten minutes, I got up. Something was wrong. I could feel it in my stomach. I threw on a hoodie and some flip flops and grabbed the keys of the hook by the door.
“Angie, I’m taking Sue,” I peeked in her room.
“Okay, be back soon.”
I drove to Jeremy’s apartment, my stomach in a knot. When I pulled in the parking lot, beside his van, I hurried out and up the stairs. I heard a weird crashing noise outside his door. I paused and put my head against the door. I heard it again. I was going to knock but I tried the doorknob. It was unlocked.
The crashing continued. I ran into his room. There were papers everywhere, strung all across the room. Some balled up, some tore up. I saw Jeremy, his back to me. He raised his guitar, already broken in half, over his head and kept hitting it until it was only holding together by the strings. I ran up behind him just as he brought the guitar over his head again.
“No, baby, no,” he turned around. I grabbed his hand and lowered the guitar, useless now I tossed it aside.
“Cassie,” I could barely make out what he was saying. He was crying, sobbing. “Why?” he kept asking over and over.
I grabbed him around his waist and hugged him hard. I was crying with him, “I don’t know baby, I don’t know.”
We sat on the bed, and I held his head to my chest. He kept crying, “Just let it out. I’m here. I’m here,” I kept saying these things, hoping to comfort him. I really didn’t know what to say or do. Something had just snapped inside of him. “I’m not going to leave you. I’m here.”
Now it was my turn to rock him back to sleep.

Two days later, Jeremy’s parents were found in the woods behind a park. They got checked back in at Renaissance and were on watch. That night in Jeremy’s apartment when he really showed me the real him, it was so intense. I was so jealous of Jeremy in a way. Because he can open up to me, so easily, not even afraid to cry in my arms but I don’t have the guts to tell him my deepest darkest secret. He told me he loved me that night. I told him I loved him back, knowing in my heart that it was true.
So much for not getting attached.. But at this point, I didn’t even care. I was happy and that’s all that mattered. Because when was the last time I’d been happy? I can’t even remember.
So, that’s why, a week after Jeremy’s parents got turned back in, I gave myself to him. It wasn’t at all like I had imagined. Actually, now that I think about it, it was kind of dorky. But romantic dorky.

We were watching another zombie movie, this one called “Diary of the Dead”. I gotten up and went to the kitchen to get us a refill on the popcorn and a Hot Pocket when Jeremy came in the kitchen.
“You’re supposed to stay in there and watch and tell me what happens!” I told him.
“Don’t worry, I put it on pause,” he said laughing. Okay, so the zombie movies were growing on me. Big deal.
The microwave beeped and I grabbed the steaming bag of popcorn and opened it, pouring some in the big bowl we shared. A few pieces fell to the ground so I bent down, picking them up. Jeremy slapped my butt, real fast.
When I turned around to give him the evil glare, he was staring at the ceiling and whistling. “Jeremy, I know it was you,” I said laughing at him.
“No you don’t,” he said simply, keeping a straight face.
I laughed again, “Whatever.”
He slapped me again and ran out of the kitchen.
“Jeremy! Oh, It’s so on, I’m so gonna get you!”
I ran into the living room and picked up the pillow from the couch. But Jeremy wasn’t anywhere to be seen. “Oh, Jeremy? Come out, come out, wherever you are.” I suddenly felt like a little kid, playing an old-fashioned game of hide-and-seek.
I looked around the living room one last time and back into the kitchen to make sure he hadn’t snuck back in there and then headed towards the back of the apartment. I walked into the bathroom, trying to be quiet. I saw the shower curtain ruffle slightly. I opened the shower curtain really fast and he screamed and jumped out at me, making me scream. We fell to the bathroom floor, taking the curtain down with us.
He got up, holding out his hand to help me up, but letting go of me once I had a good grasp on it. “You jackass,” I called out to him as he ran out of the bathroom and into his bedroom.
“Oh yeah, and what are you gonna do about it?” he called out from the other room.
I got up and ran into his room, jumping on his back. “I’ll show you what I’m gonna do about it!”
We wrestled around a bit for the longest time, but in the end, my female weakness failed me. He pinned me to the bed, his hands holding mine down and his legs, straddling me in place. I tried to fight him off but couldn’t move.
“Quit resisting me woman,” Jeremy said, smiling, loving my vulnerability.
“I swear, when I get out from under here…”
“What? What are you going to do?” he leaned down and kissed me.
He pulled away, and I frowned. He started to lean back in, I smiled again. Our kisses began to deepen and I suddenly had an aching feeling inside. I wanted him. All of him. Now. When we came up for air, we stared at each other. Were we ready for this?
“Do you want to?” I asked, still trying to catch my breath.
He thought for a second, and then pulled off his shirt really fast.
I laughed, “I’m taking that as a yes?” he didn’t reply, just leaned back down and kissed me again.