Like No Other
Chapter 9
“Listen, about last night…” Jeremy came up to me at breakfast the next morning.
“I don’t wanna talk about it,” I said, pouring myself a bowl of cereal and grabbing a banana from a basket on the counter.
“That’s okay. That’s completely fine. I just wanted to make sure you were okay,” his voice was filled with so much concern. I smiled to assure him, and it worked. He smiled back and we found a table to sit at.
This morning, at around seven, Marcus and Drake woke us up, returning from Tara and Sandy’s room. “Rise and shine lovebirds!”
“It’s a wonderful day in Drake’s neighborhood!” Drake came in behind Marcus.
I opened my eyes. Jeremy and I were cuddled up together. I pulled away from him and a flood of memories from last night came rushing back into my brain. I felt so humiliated. But last night’s dream was so much different than all the other ones. It was more vivid, almost real.
Before, all my dreams were just little parts of the accident, windshield glass coming at my face, or me covered and surrounded by blood. Sometimes it would just be a car, flipping and landing in a ditch, sometimes me, being resuscitated in the hospital, me dying, not coming back. But last night, it was like I was reliving the accident. I was IN the car, flipping. And when the flipping stopped, I looked around to see my friends dead beside me.
We didn’t talk about it, and I didn’t want to. I was glad he didn’t push it any farther.
“Dude, last night was amazing,” Drake and Marcus were talking STILL talking about it.
“Oh my gosh, man I know,” they did this little handshake thing.
“Color me laid,” Drake said, biting into an apple.
“Okay, guys,” Jeremy snapped in front of their faces. “Pay attention, we gotta focus.”
They launched into a discussion on the day’s events. Set ups, sound checks, manager and coordinator meetings, performance, fan meetings. They were so excited. I could tell this by the look of excitement in their eyes, that extra light that shone through. There was anxiousness in their voices. None of them could stay still.
“We’re going to go now and check out the performance space, figure out how we’re going to set things up,” Jeremy sipped his coffee, which he liked black. “We also got to meet with the other bands that are playing tonight and work over how the concert is going to go.”
“Let’s do it!” Travis jumped up. We all got up, threw our stuff away and assembled out to the van.
**********
“Okay, so I’m thinking…” Marcus and I were looking at the stage. “Drums there,” he said pointing to a spot, “Drake there on the guitar, Travis on bass there,” he pointed to another spot. “And you of course, there.” He was pointing at the middle of the stage.
I jumped up on the stage and stood in my “spot”. I looked out to where the crowd would be in just a few hours, listening to our music. The outside amphitheater could seat 1500 people. At the top, there was a grassy knoll where people liked to sit as well. I could remember being here a year ago, imagining what it would be like to get a gig like this. And we finally did it.
I looked out at Cassie. She was talking to another girl, the girlfriend of one of the guys from the other band. She caught my glance and smiled at me, giving me a thumbs up. The coordinator met up with us and told us we that were the third band to perform out of the four bands playing that night. She also informed us of how things were going to run tonight.
After meeting with her, I found Cassie sitting in the third row of seats off to the side.
“You looked good up there,” she nudged me as I sat down next to her.
“Oh yeah, you think so?”
She nodded and winked at me.
“Come with me,” I grabbed Cassie and dragged her to where van was parked. I opened the trailer and grabbed my guitar case. Then we headed back up to the grassy knoll at the top of the amphitheater.
“What are we doing? Where are you taking me?” Cassie asked from behind me, her hand squeezing mine more tightly.
I stopped in the middle of the field and let go of her hand, plopping down in the grass. “Here.” She looked around, shrugged, and sat beside me. I opened my case and grabbed my guitar from inside.
“When we first started getting gigs and concerts I used to play a little before every show to calm my nerves. And I’m nervous, so I thought we’d come back up here and I could play for
you,” I smiled in satisfaction when her face lit up. “Anything you want to hear in particular?”
She thought for a moment. “Do you know “Gravity” by John Mayer?”
“I love that song,” I said, starting the first chords.
“Ooooh, gravity is workin against me,” I sang the first lyrics, her humming with me. Halfway through the song, she was harmonizing along with me. She had a great voice. I watched her as she sang. Her eyes closed, head tilted to the side. When the song ended she opened them and blushed.
“Wow…” I just looked at her. “Any other hidden talents I should know about?”
She smiled slyly, “Stay tuned.”
**********
It was five minutes before Jeremy was set to go on. I was standing in front of the stage, waiting for them to open the curtains. You could hear them setting up behind and my heart was skipping in my chest. The show was going had been going so well. All the bands were doing great. I scanned the crowd around me. I noticed a lot of people from Bridgeport had come to watch the show. A few who recognized me waved.
When the curtains finally drew back, the crowd around and behind me exploded. Jeremy’s eyes scanned the audience looking for me, when his eyes rested on mine he gave me a smile. I could hear the comments of all the girls around me “…so hot!”
“Hello,” Jeremy’s deep voice came over the speakers, “My name is Jeremy Fielding and this is Modern Day Hero.” There were cheers and whistles throughout the crowd. When it died down, the band started and it fired back up again. People were dancing and singing along with Jeremy.
I’d been doing okay through the whole concert trying not to burst into a panic attack and I was trying to hold it together until Jeremy got done. I was already breathing hard, like I had just gotten back from running a marathon. I tried to ignore it and only focus in on Jeremy’s voice. My knees felt weak, and this time not from Jeremy’s smile or his sweet, gentle kisses.
I ducked out of the crowd, trying not to run into anybody which was nearly impossible. As soon as I was free from the crowd I found a seat on the front row, trying to catch my breath. I sighed. This was getting kind of ridiculous. I don’t know how long I sat there, my head in my hands, but it had to have been a long time because the next time I looked Jeremy and the guys were off the stage and another band was already setting up behind the curtain.
I got up and went around to the back of the stage. I almost got stopped from going back stage but I could see Travis’s curly hair inside. “Travis,” I yelled over all the noises around me. He looked up and saw me then came over and excused me to come through. I found Jeremy standing with the rest of the guys, sipping a Red Bull. I gave him a hug. “You did great.”
After socializing with a few fans, we headed out to the local Waffle House. Drake and Marcus even invited Sandy and Tara. Kimberly didn’t come along this time. Travis was disappointed. We were all sitting around the table, laughing, telling jokes and stories. It felt amazing. I finally felt like I was a part of something. That sounded so cliche, even in my head.
Jeremy was telling a story about how Drake pantsed him on stage in the seventh grade when he phone rang. He picked it up, stopping mid-sentence when he looked at the caller-ID. He changed his expression fast and then excused himself from the table, walking outside to take the call. Everyone else went back to talking but I kept looking at the window. Something wasn’t right.
“I’m going to go check on Jeremy, I’ll be back,” I excused myself and walked outside.
Jeremy didn’t know I had walked out there. I stayed quiet behind him.
“Oh my god, how could you have let this happen?” Jeremy sounded horrified and scared. He paused, a deep voice talking back to him over the phone.
“I’ll be there as soon as I can, do NOT leave her there alone,” now he sounded pissed. He ended the call, clenching the phone in his hand. When he turned around he jumped back, surprised that I was there.
“Who was that?” I asked. “What’s wrong?”
“That was my dad,” he hesitated a little before saying dad, as if it hurt him to do so. “My mom is in the hospital.”
“Oh god, is she okay? What happened?”
“I don’t know, but we have to go,” he opened the door so I could walk in before him. I didn’t ignore the fact that he didn’t answer my second question but I didn’t push him. He explained the situation to the guys and left Waffle House, the tables still dirty, our plates still half-full.
Back at the hotel we packed our things quickly and were heading out of there in less than ten minutes. Drake and Marcus went to say goodbye to their girls and Travis tagged along, hoping to see Kimberly again, leaving me and Jeremy alone again.
I went behind him, curling my arms around his stomach. He pulled away. He had never pulled away from me before. “Are you okay Jeremy?” I asked, worried.
“Fine,” his face was set in stone.
“Are you sure?” I persisted. I rubbed his shoulder gently, trying to comfort him.
“Yes.”
“Jeremy, what happened?” I knew he wanted to tell me, he just needed a little boost. Or maybe not.
“Just leave me alone, I don’t want to talk about it,” he pulled away again and picked up his bags off the floor, walking out of the room, leaving me all alone. I felt hurt, but I grabbed my duffel bag and headed to the van outside.
The ride home was a silent one. Even Travis and Drake were quiet in the back. The speed limit was 55, Jeremy was going 70. I felt uncomfortable. I clenched my seatbelt tightly. The guys didn’t wear seatbelts, Jeremy usually did but tonight he had not. “Jeremy slow down,” I said, watching the speedometer inch up the half circle. He ignored me.
I waited five minutes, taking deep breaths in and out. “Jeremy, slow down,” I said calmly. He slowed down slightly, but it wasn’t good enough. I raised my voice a little higher sounding a little like my mother. “Jeremy, if you do not slow down this damn car, you can just pull over and I’ll walk my ass home. And then, when you die, don’t expect me to feel sorry for you. Because I won’t and I’ll—“ he slowed the car down to 50 at my rambling. I smiled in sheer victory.
I hummed to myself, hating the silence surrounding around me, screaming in my ears. The windows were rolled down and if felt good, the wind blowing through my hair, the sun shining on my face. I pulled my aviators down to block the sun from my eyes.
When we got to Angie’s house, I grabbed my things and jumped out, not even bothering to say goodbye or to wave, or even a “hope your mom is okay.” I headed up the walkway, my head up and scoffing to myself. Two can play at that game.
“I don’t wanna talk about it,” I said, pouring myself a bowl of cereal and grabbing a banana from a basket on the counter.
“That’s okay. That’s completely fine. I just wanted to make sure you were okay,” his voice was filled with so much concern. I smiled to assure him, and it worked. He smiled back and we found a table to sit at.
This morning, at around seven, Marcus and Drake woke us up, returning from Tara and Sandy’s room. “Rise and shine lovebirds!”
“It’s a wonderful day in Drake’s neighborhood!” Drake came in behind Marcus.
I opened my eyes. Jeremy and I were cuddled up together. I pulled away from him and a flood of memories from last night came rushing back into my brain. I felt so humiliated. But last night’s dream was so much different than all the other ones. It was more vivid, almost real.
Before, all my dreams were just little parts of the accident, windshield glass coming at my face, or me covered and surrounded by blood. Sometimes it would just be a car, flipping and landing in a ditch, sometimes me, being resuscitated in the hospital, me dying, not coming back. But last night, it was like I was reliving the accident. I was IN the car, flipping. And when the flipping stopped, I looked around to see my friends dead beside me.
We didn’t talk about it, and I didn’t want to. I was glad he didn’t push it any farther.
“Dude, last night was amazing,” Drake and Marcus were talking STILL talking about it.
“Oh my gosh, man I know,” they did this little handshake thing.
“Color me laid,” Drake said, biting into an apple.
“Okay, guys,” Jeremy snapped in front of their faces. “Pay attention, we gotta focus.”
They launched into a discussion on the day’s events. Set ups, sound checks, manager and coordinator meetings, performance, fan meetings. They were so excited. I could tell this by the look of excitement in their eyes, that extra light that shone through. There was anxiousness in their voices. None of them could stay still.
“We’re going to go now and check out the performance space, figure out how we’re going to set things up,” Jeremy sipped his coffee, which he liked black. “We also got to meet with the other bands that are playing tonight and work over how the concert is going to go.”
“Let’s do it!” Travis jumped up. We all got up, threw our stuff away and assembled out to the van.
**********
“Okay, so I’m thinking…” Marcus and I were looking at the stage. “Drums there,” he said pointing to a spot, “Drake there on the guitar, Travis on bass there,” he pointed to another spot. “And you of course, there.” He was pointing at the middle of the stage.
I jumped up on the stage and stood in my “spot”. I looked out to where the crowd would be in just a few hours, listening to our music. The outside amphitheater could seat 1500 people. At the top, there was a grassy knoll where people liked to sit as well. I could remember being here a year ago, imagining what it would be like to get a gig like this. And we finally did it.
I looked out at Cassie. She was talking to another girl, the girlfriend of one of the guys from the other band. She caught my glance and smiled at me, giving me a thumbs up. The coordinator met up with us and told us we that were the third band to perform out of the four bands playing that night. She also informed us of how things were going to run tonight.
After meeting with her, I found Cassie sitting in the third row of seats off to the side.
“You looked good up there,” she nudged me as I sat down next to her.
“Oh yeah, you think so?”
She nodded and winked at me.
“Come with me,” I grabbed Cassie and dragged her to where van was parked. I opened the trailer and grabbed my guitar case. Then we headed back up to the grassy knoll at the top of the amphitheater.
“What are we doing? Where are you taking me?” Cassie asked from behind me, her hand squeezing mine more tightly.
I stopped in the middle of the field and let go of her hand, plopping down in the grass. “Here.” She looked around, shrugged, and sat beside me. I opened my case and grabbed my guitar from inside.
“When we first started getting gigs and concerts I used to play a little before every show to calm my nerves. And I’m nervous, so I thought we’d come back up here and I could play for
you,” I smiled in satisfaction when her face lit up. “Anything you want to hear in particular?”
She thought for a moment. “Do you know “Gravity” by John Mayer?”
“I love that song,” I said, starting the first chords.
“Ooooh, gravity is workin against me,” I sang the first lyrics, her humming with me. Halfway through the song, she was harmonizing along with me. She had a great voice. I watched her as she sang. Her eyes closed, head tilted to the side. When the song ended she opened them and blushed.
“Wow…” I just looked at her. “Any other hidden talents I should know about?”
She smiled slyly, “Stay tuned.”
**********
It was five minutes before Jeremy was set to go on. I was standing in front of the stage, waiting for them to open the curtains. You could hear them setting up behind and my heart was skipping in my chest. The show was going had been going so well. All the bands were doing great. I scanned the crowd around me. I noticed a lot of people from Bridgeport had come to watch the show. A few who recognized me waved.
When the curtains finally drew back, the crowd around and behind me exploded. Jeremy’s eyes scanned the audience looking for me, when his eyes rested on mine he gave me a smile. I could hear the comments of all the girls around me “…so hot!”
“Hello,” Jeremy’s deep voice came over the speakers, “My name is Jeremy Fielding and this is Modern Day Hero.” There were cheers and whistles throughout the crowd. When it died down, the band started and it fired back up again. People were dancing and singing along with Jeremy.
I’d been doing okay through the whole concert trying not to burst into a panic attack and I was trying to hold it together until Jeremy got done. I was already breathing hard, like I had just gotten back from running a marathon. I tried to ignore it and only focus in on Jeremy’s voice. My knees felt weak, and this time not from Jeremy’s smile or his sweet, gentle kisses.
I ducked out of the crowd, trying not to run into anybody which was nearly impossible. As soon as I was free from the crowd I found a seat on the front row, trying to catch my breath. I sighed. This was getting kind of ridiculous. I don’t know how long I sat there, my head in my hands, but it had to have been a long time because the next time I looked Jeremy and the guys were off the stage and another band was already setting up behind the curtain.
I got up and went around to the back of the stage. I almost got stopped from going back stage but I could see Travis’s curly hair inside. “Travis,” I yelled over all the noises around me. He looked up and saw me then came over and excused me to come through. I found Jeremy standing with the rest of the guys, sipping a Red Bull. I gave him a hug. “You did great.”
After socializing with a few fans, we headed out to the local Waffle House. Drake and Marcus even invited Sandy and Tara. Kimberly didn’t come along this time. Travis was disappointed. We were all sitting around the table, laughing, telling jokes and stories. It felt amazing. I finally felt like I was a part of something. That sounded so cliche, even in my head.
Jeremy was telling a story about how Drake pantsed him on stage in the seventh grade when he phone rang. He picked it up, stopping mid-sentence when he looked at the caller-ID. He changed his expression fast and then excused himself from the table, walking outside to take the call. Everyone else went back to talking but I kept looking at the window. Something wasn’t right.
“I’m going to go check on Jeremy, I’ll be back,” I excused myself and walked outside.
Jeremy didn’t know I had walked out there. I stayed quiet behind him.
“Oh my god, how could you have let this happen?” Jeremy sounded horrified and scared. He paused, a deep voice talking back to him over the phone.
“I’ll be there as soon as I can, do NOT leave her there alone,” now he sounded pissed. He ended the call, clenching the phone in his hand. When he turned around he jumped back, surprised that I was there.
“Who was that?” I asked. “What’s wrong?”
“That was my dad,” he hesitated a little before saying dad, as if it hurt him to do so. “My mom is in the hospital.”
“Oh god, is she okay? What happened?”
“I don’t know, but we have to go,” he opened the door so I could walk in before him. I didn’t ignore the fact that he didn’t answer my second question but I didn’t push him. He explained the situation to the guys and left Waffle House, the tables still dirty, our plates still half-full.
Back at the hotel we packed our things quickly and were heading out of there in less than ten minutes. Drake and Marcus went to say goodbye to their girls and Travis tagged along, hoping to see Kimberly again, leaving me and Jeremy alone again.
I went behind him, curling my arms around his stomach. He pulled away. He had never pulled away from me before. “Are you okay Jeremy?” I asked, worried.
“Fine,” his face was set in stone.
“Are you sure?” I persisted. I rubbed his shoulder gently, trying to comfort him.
“Yes.”
“Jeremy, what happened?” I knew he wanted to tell me, he just needed a little boost. Or maybe not.
“Just leave me alone, I don’t want to talk about it,” he pulled away again and picked up his bags off the floor, walking out of the room, leaving me all alone. I felt hurt, but I grabbed my duffel bag and headed to the van outside.
The ride home was a silent one. Even Travis and Drake were quiet in the back. The speed limit was 55, Jeremy was going 70. I felt uncomfortable. I clenched my seatbelt tightly. The guys didn’t wear seatbelts, Jeremy usually did but tonight he had not. “Jeremy slow down,” I said, watching the speedometer inch up the half circle. He ignored me.
I waited five minutes, taking deep breaths in and out. “Jeremy, slow down,” I said calmly. He slowed down slightly, but it wasn’t good enough. I raised my voice a little higher sounding a little like my mother. “Jeremy, if you do not slow down this damn car, you can just pull over and I’ll walk my ass home. And then, when you die, don’t expect me to feel sorry for you. Because I won’t and I’ll—“ he slowed the car down to 50 at my rambling. I smiled in sheer victory.
I hummed to myself, hating the silence surrounding around me, screaming in my ears. The windows were rolled down and if felt good, the wind blowing through my hair, the sun shining on my face. I pulled my aviators down to block the sun from my eyes.
When we got to Angie’s house, I grabbed my things and jumped out, not even bothering to say goodbye or to wave, or even a “hope your mom is okay.” I headed up the walkway, my head up and scoffing to myself. Two can play at that game.