Walk in the Sun

FF 2 months

This was the day I dreading. I was sitting on my bed, and looking at my luggage packed. I didn’t want to leave. I had such a great time with my cousins, and more importantly, with Sidney. I never thought that I would have so much fun with someone that I just met. I would bring back so many great memories back home with me. Before I did that, however, I actually had to get on the train.

I brought my luggage downstairs in silence with the help of Gary. I didn’t want to say anything because I knew I would break down. After all of my luggage was in the front hallway, I walked out the front door. I needed some fresh air. Walking out the front door, I let out a long-awaited sigh. I paced back and forth on the porch before finally leaning on the railing. There was a small breeze blowing, so I wrapped my arms around me. I began to stare off into space. When I looked in front of the house, I saw the one person I dreading leaving the most. He was leaning against his Looking into his intense eyes, I saw myself reliving some of the moments we shared over the summer.

* Flashback*

Sid took me back to his childhood arena almost three times a week. By the second week of July, I had become a full fledged “pee wee skater” as Sid called me. We stayed there for about 4 hours, just skating around the rink in laps. I was finally beginning to understand why Sid loved to skate so much. It was an indescribable feeling. I felt free and flightless. I was totally in control of my surroundings, yet felt myself get lost in it.

I was attempting to turn a corner and didn’t see Sid right behind me. I was mid-stride when I felt myself fall to the ice. I wasn’t going to lie. It hurt…a lot. I could feel tears begin to spring into my eyes, but I didn’t open them. I felt a huge weight on top of me. I tried to roll over to push myself up, but I couldn’t budge. My arms were being held to the ice. Opening my eyes, I was met by the golden gaze of Sid. He was staring directly into my eyes. I stuck my tongue out at him and began to squirm and try to get out from underneath him. He began to chuckle, then his face went back to serious. I stopped squirming and began to get lost in his eyes. He loosened his grips on my arms and brought one of his hands to my face. I felt a chill go through my body, and knew it wasn’t from the ice. My gazed moved from his eyes to his lips and then back again. Seconds later, Sidney closed the gap between us.

I melted into the kiss, thinking how I couldn’t have thought of a more perfect moment. Sid reached one hand behind my neck, and pulled me closer, as if it were possible.

When we pulled apart, we both had a smile on our faces. Sid rested his forehead on mine and I let my eyes lightly close. We laid there for a few moments in a comfortable silence before finally beginning to get up off the ice to enjoy the rest of the day.

*End Flashback*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I slowly walked over to Sid, with each step my smile getting bigger and bigger. When I finally reached him, I could see the sadness in his face.

“Hey, no sad faces today. This isn’t goodbye, only ‘see you later.’”

He gave me a small smirk then pulled me into a huge hug. When he pulled away, he kept his hands on my waist.

“What time do you leave?”

I pulled out my phone to check the time.

“I have to be on the train in about 7 hours or so.”

Next thing I knew, Sid grabbed my hand and pulled me across the street and through Gary and Carmel’s front door. Carmel must have been snooping through the window, since her head popped out from behind the curtain. She looked between the Sidney and I and gave both of us a knowing look.

“Yes Sidney, you can take her.”

Sidney sighed and walked over to Carmel and gave her a hug. He whispered a thank you in her ear. It began to hit me then. I had to start saying my goodbyes. When Sid backed away from Carmel, I saw that Gary, Jenn, Jess, Scott, and Jenn’s boyfriend Matt had all gathered in the room. I could feel the tears begin to well up in my eyes. I wasn’t ready for this. I didn’t think that Sidney was going to come by. We had said our goodbyes the day before.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*Flashback*

Sid brought me back to his place after spending the day at the dog park with Sam. I was trying my best not to think of leaving. The mere thought of it brought tears to my eyes.

Sid asked me how I wanted to spend our last night together. I shook my head.

“This isn’t our last night together, Sid. We decided that we’d still stay in touch. Sure, you’ll be in Pittsburgh and I’ll be back home in Ontario, but we’ll still keep in touch. We’ll see each other again.”

He smirked.

“I really need to take a few lessons from you. I need to be more optimistic.”

I sighed.

“Sid, I know you’re going to be busy and won’t be able to call me every day---.”

“I’ll call you every spare second I get, I promise.”

I giggled.

“Don’t make a promise you can’t keep Sid. You know you’ll want time to yourself. I respect that. But let’s not talk about this right now. Tonight, I just wanna stay in, order some takeout, curl up on the couch and watch some movies.”

Sid smiled and put his arm around my shoulders, pulling me into him.

“That’s my girl.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We ordered some delicious deep-dish pizza, which Sidney tried to put on an Italian accent while ordering over the phone. I had to leave the room until he got off the phone I was laughing so hard.

Before opening the pizza box, Sid let me pick a movie. I knew what movie I wanted to watch, but I was hoping that Sid wouldn’t take my choice the wrong way.

“Now, I’m not choosing this because you’re a hockey player. I happen to love this movie.”

Sid raised his eyebrow at me.

“Which movie would this be?”

I walked over to his DVD shelf and pulled out my choice. Miracle

“I watched it one day while you were gone out with your dad. I fell in love with it. I watched it a few times actually.”

Sid smiled and walked over to me.

“Steph, I don’t care what movie you choose. Just because this movie is about hockey, doesn’t mean I’m going to think any less of you. Besides, it was in my DVD shelf, doesn’t that tell you that I kinda like it too?”

We both had smirks spread on our faces. I stuck my tongue out at him and handed him the DVD. He put it in the DVD player and we both sat back down on the couch.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The movie was about half over and the pizza was more than half gone, and I began to feel sleepy. Before I drifted off to sleep, I needed to say one last thing to Sidney.

“Hey Sid?”

I could tell he was getting a little sleepy too, by the way his eyelids were starting to droop.

“Yeah?”

I gave him a sleepy smile, hoping I could stay awake long enough to finish what I wanted to say.

“Thank you.”

He raised his eyebrow at me. Well, he tried to anyway.

“What are you thanking me for?”

“For this summer; for all the great moment we got to share. I’m really happy that my Jenn and Jess left me in the Timmie’s parking lot.”

He chuckled and laid a soft kiss at the top of my head. I could feel my eyes begin to close, but I had one last thing to say. Before I opened my mouth to speak, I heard a soft whisper from Sid. A whisper I didn’t know if I was supposed to hear or not.

“I wish you could stay. I think I love you.”

After hearing those words, my eyes closed. Sleep took over, giving me the sweetest dreams of what life with Sid could possibly be like.

*End Flashback*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I brought myself out of my memories and walked up to each one of my family members standing in front of me. Tears were now flowing freely down my face. I gave each of them a huge hug. I held on to the twins and Carmel longer than anyone. Carmel whispered in my ear.

“Don’t let this one go. He loves you, I can see it.”

I pulled away, wiping a few tears, smiled and nodded. Jenn and Jess grabbed me in a group hug. If anyone were to walk into the living room at that moment, they would think that three girls were having a cry-fest in a huddle. I was going to miss them so much. I may had spent a huge portion of my summer with Sid, I cherished the moments I spent with the twins. Before walking back over to Sid, Jenn handed me a pamphlet. I looked down at it and my eyes widened. University of Halifax. I looked up at her with a puzzled face.

“It’s for your mom. Maybe once she sees it, with the recommendations from me, she’ll come around to the idea.”

I smiled and pulled her in for another hug. Pulling away, I walked over to where Sid had been standing. He was gone. I turned around to everyone else with a raised eyebrow. Carmel pointed outside. I nodded and went to pick up my bags. They were gone too. Walking out the door, I saw Sid standing on the porch. I walked up beside him and studied his face. He looked sad, but it appeared that he was trying to hide it. He noticed my staring and smirked.

“You know if you take a picture it lasts longer.”

I rolled my eyes.

“I’m pretty sure my camera is full of pictures of your mug, thank you. I’m just curious, that’s all.”

He turned to me.

“What do you mean?”

I gave him a small smile.

“Believe me, I love that you’re here right now, but I thought that we said our goodbyes yesterday.”

Sid’s shoulders slumped a little bit and moved his gaze to the floor of the porch. I stepped closer to him and wrapped my arms around his waist. I forced his eyes to met mine before speaking again.

“Hey, I didn’t say that I didn’t want you here. I was just surprised. I mean, what else could you possibly have to show me that I haven’t already seen?”

I put my hand on his cheek and held his gaze, waiting for his answer.

“I have one last thing to show you.”

He grabbed my hand and began to pull me back towards his car. I rolled my eyes.

“You know, if you keep pulling me around everywhere, I’m going to lose my arm.”

Before getting into the car, I turned back towards the house. I saw six heads peeking out the window. I smiled and waved one final time before embarking on my final adventure of the summer.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As Sidney drove, he reached and held my hand. We fell into a comfortable silence, as we did in most of our car rides together. I loved those moments. I used them to reflect on my life and what was going on around me. At that moment, I had Sidney, my…………..well, I wasn’t sure what he was. We never made any official proclamation as to what we were to each other. I was feeling a little saddened by the fact that it seemed I would leave under the same circumstances.

We pulled into a parking lot, which I had seen countless times. I turned towards Sidney with a huge grin on my face.

“You know me all too well, don’t you?”

Sidney smirked as we got out of the car and walked towards the pier.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sidney and I spent the day just enjoying each other’s company. We were watching the sunset, when Sid kissed me on the top of the head.

“I don’t want to drive you to the train station.”

I was hoping the waterworks would have finished by now, but apparently, my eyes could still cry more. I leaned into Sid and let the tears fall.

“I don’t want you to drive me to the train station.”

Sid gently rubbed his hand up and down my arm.

“Are you sure you can’t stay? I mean, you can always stay with me.”Looking at his watch, Sidney sighed. “It’s time to go.”

Those were the four words I was dreading for the last 48 hours. Standing up and walking down the pier, no words were shared between Sidney and I.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Train boarding for Toronto on platform C. Train boarding for Toronto on platform C.”

That was my cue. Sidney and I were already standing on platform C. My luggage was in a heap beside us. I had my arms wrapped around Sid, never wanting to let him go. He put his hand under my chin and made my eyes meet his. He had tears welling up in his eyes as he spoke.

“As much as it pains me to see you go, I’m okay with it. You should be too.”

I raised my eyebrow at him. He handed me an envelope.

“Read this when you get on the train.” I nodded as he pulled me in for a light kiss. “Now go, before I have the chance to take you back home.”

I smiled and gave him one last kiss. Pulling away, I looked in his eyes. “I think I love you, too.”

I stepped on the train, leaving Sid looking at me with wide eyes.