Crazy Mixed Up World

When I woke up I was in my room, I don’t remember going there so I guess Jon must have put me there. I walked out of my room and into the bathroom to wash my face because of all the crying from last night. I actually felt really good today I guess last night really helped.

I walked into the kitchen and I saw Jon making breakfast. I sat down at the table.

“Good morning” He said cheerily

“Good morning” I replied, “Why are you so chipper this morning?”

“I just happen to have the day off today and I thought we could spend it together doing whatever you want.”

I was grinning on the inside. This is what I have wanted for the longest time!

“Sure” I said “Can we just go walk around a park for a bit”

“Sure go get dressed and then we can go”

“Ok”

I went to my room to get changed, I was so excited. I was going to get to just hang out with my brother; I haven’t gotten to do that in a long time.

I got changed into something warm seeing as its fall and getting colder. I was feeling pretty good today and I love colours so I finally decided to not wear all black in a long time. It felt really good. I think I was finally breaking. I knew that the hurt I felt for my parents would never fully go away but I understood now that it was okay to start moving on.

I met Jon by the door and we started walking to the park.

“You look different today, no black” Jon said

“ya, I think I came to a realisation this morning.

“What is that?” he asked me curiously

We had gotten to the park by now and it was gorgeous. The trees were all turning gorgeous shades of yellow, red and even brown. This was my favourite time of year. I had a feeling of bliss right now, I just felt really at peace.

“Mom and dad loved us so much. They would want us to be happy and not mourning for them. I know that I can’t move on right away but I’m trying. I know that I will never forget them and I know that they are always with me in my heart. I also know that you love me and that David loves me. So its okay to be upset but I can’t let it take over my life because mom and dad would not have wanted that! They would want me to be happy.”

Jon had a serious look on his face and I couldn’t read it.

“I know you have been telling me this all along but I had to come to this realization on my own. I’m starting my road to recovery now and I’ll need your help. I still have grief but I am not going to let it consume my life anymore.”

I looked at Jon and he didn’t say anything he just pulled me into a death grip and hugged me for what seemed hours. I hugged him back what I assumed was just as tight.

“I have my sister back” he whispered.

Then we started making our way back home.