Crazy Mixed Up World

So I went home a couple days after the surgery and Jon was awesome. I guess it took this unfortunate incident for our relationship to improve.

I’ll be getting my cast off on my leg in couple of days and than starting physio, so hopefully in a couple months I can start dancing again. But for right now I’m going to be working on my song writing and keeping out of Jon’s hair.

So I got through the second verse of my song and I’m still a little stuck on the next part so I start to reflect on what I loved about my family. So this is what I had so far:

Sha la la la la
Sha la la la la

You used to call me your angel
Said I was sent straight down from heaven
You'd hold me close in your arms

I loved the way you felt so strong
I never wanted you to leave
I wanted you to stay here holding me

Now I’m still stuck. I hear the keys in the door I guess Jon is home from practice.

“Hi Melissa, How are you today”

“Okay, I’m still stuck with my song”

“do you think I could help you maybe?” I didn’t see why not, if I’m stuck maybe he could help. So I showed him what I had so far.

“So your writing this about mom and dad?” he asked me. I nodded my head.

“What do you miss about them?”

“I miss their smiles, but its different now but sometimes it feels like they are still here”

“Its because they are always here Melissa, they are always in your heart and they are always watching over you. They will never you.” He said giving me a hug. I started tearing up a little bit thinking about my parents. All of these memories that I had pushed behind me were resurfacing and it was hard but with Jon with me I think it would be okay.

“Will you stay with me and help me write the song?”

“I won’t help you but I always be there for you whenever you need me, forever and always.”

“Thank you” I said and meant it, “I think I have the chorus for the song!” I started furiously writing down words on to the page.

“Do you want to hear it?”

“Of course I do.”

Chorus:
I miss you
I miss your smile
And I still shed a tear
Every once in a while
And even though it's different now
You're still here somehow
My heart won't let you go
And I need you to know
I miss you, sha la la la la
I miss you

“That’s beautiful” Jon told me

“Remember what mom and dad used to call you?” Jon asked me

“No”

“They used to call you a dreamer and now look at you your writing songs, singing and dancing… your amazing” he smiled at me. For the first time I really felt like he was proud of me and it felt really good.

“But sometimes I feel like its going to fast Jon, their supposed to be here, I love you but I’m supposed to be back in Winnipeg visiting you and David randomly. Dad is supposed to walk me down the isle one day. They are supposed to take me to get my prom dress, watch me graduate. They were taken to soon.” I told him. I didn’t want to make him feel bad but my song had to be truthful and this is how I felt.

“I think you have your next verse” Jon said somewhat sadly but with a smile.
So I started writing what ever came to mind with those ideas that were said and this is what I came up with.

You used to call me your dreamer
And now I'm living out my dream
Oh how I wish you could see
Everything that's happening for me
I'm thinking back on the past
It's true that time is flying by too fast

“I think that’s beautiful Melissa”

“Thank you, but I don’t know how to end it” I said biting on the edge of my pencil.

“Well you that their in a better place now” Jon told me

“ I know, but that doesn’t change the fact that they aren’t here with me” I said somewhat frustrated but at the same time feeling better getting that off my chest “I know they have to be there but I want them here, I still need my parents’ I said completely breaking down. Jon tried to take me into his arms but I got the idea for my last verse so while sobbing my heart out I wrote it and than sang it to him while crying.

I know you're in a better place, yeah
But I wish that I could see your face, oh
I know you're where you need to be
Even though it's not here with me

Than I completely fell apart and fell into Jon’s arms and sobbed my heart out. Jon just held me and rocked me back and forth. And we sat like that until I fell asleep.