Tattoos and Mistakes

After dropping off Yesenia, we stopped at Sophia’s house since she had to be home at that time. Veronica stumbled to get to the front seat and tried to start the engine before Sophia stopped her. Veronica shrugged and started to fall asleep in her seat.
“Make sure she doesn’t drive until she’s at least a bit more sober,” Sophia told me. “Let her rest a bit. I’ll see you when I see you.” I said good bye and watched Sophia walk toward her house from across the street.
I looked at Veronica sleeping and began to wonder why Veronica still even likes me. We broke up three months ago because of the fact that she still had feelings for Adriana. Since then, we still remained friends but she has always talked to me, in a flirty way when she and I were alone.

I sighed and shook my head. This must have been my entire fault, at least to have allowed her. I guess I still wanted her. I looked down on her right hand, close to mine, and began to wish that I could hold it.

“You know she’s wrong.” I become startled as Veronica seemed to have woken up. She looked at me and I started to look down at my thighs.
“Maybe she’s right. Maybe I’m not your type.” I said back to her, trying not to seem hurt.
“Type? What is my type? I don’t have a ‘type’” She said, sounding confused yet irritated at the word “type.”
I looked back at her. “You’ve dated purely femme girls. I’m an exception. I may be wearing a dress right now, but most of the time, I wear and behave more masculine than feminine. You even called me butch once, even though I’m not all the time.”
“I was just joking. Of course you’re not butch. I don’t do butch, but you’re more like in between since you alternate. You’re such a weirdo for that.” She laughed.
I stayed silent for a moment. “She was also right about how I should leave you alone. I shouldn’t interfere with what you and Adriana have together. What you two have is real and you love her, not me.” I held back the need to shed a tear.
“Jess, don’t start with me on that. I already explained to you. What Adriana and I have goes way back since like middle school. I’ve never loved any girl more than I have loved her..”
“Oh, that makes me feel better. Thank you for the clarification.” I said with sarcasm.
“Before I met you! You didn’t let me finish. Look, Adriana has always been there so it’s clear that I still have an attachment to her but the way you make me feel cannot compare. It’s like my soul asks for Adriana, but my heart begs for you.”
“You can’t please everyone, not even your own heart or soul.” My voice became firm and I turned to look at her. “And you definitely can’t please both her and me."
“Fuck, is this about the tattoo I got last week?”
“Yes, Veronica. This is exactly about that fucken tattoo, that fucken tattoo with Adriana’s name all over your heart. Here’s a funny thing about love... you can only love one fucken person and it’s pretty clear here who’s the one you really love!” I stopped myself from mentioning that it’s not me.
“Oh my fucken god Jessica, you just don’t get it! Adriana means a lot to me and you don’t even know what we’ve been through before. She helped me deal with my homophobic mother and even helped me learn things about myself that I never knew before.”
“We’ve been through shit as well and I helped you at your lowest this past year. I’ve even supported your music and aspirations when Adriana doesn’t even give a shit. If that was me, back at prom, I wouldn’t have gone inside knowing that the person I love couldn’t go just because she was a girl and she wouldn’t wear a dress. But it seems like you don’t value me for all I do for you so fuck you then. I’m leaving!”

I opened the car door and started walking outside. All of a sudden it became colder outside but I had to handle it.
“Jessica!” I heard her scream but I didn’t dare look back. I began to hear running footsteps, coming closer to me.

A hand grabbed my right arm. I stopped and turned to look at her as she let go of it.
“Jessica, you’re right.” She said. “We did go through a lot and you have been there for me, supporting me and tolerating the worse of me. However, Adriana is the one I’ve known the longest and the one that I can trust that will be with me for a very long time. She’s the one.” She emphasized “the one.”

I took a deep breath. “Well, if she is the one, I don’t see why I should hang around any longer. I should just leave you two alone.” I started to walk away until Veronica grabs on my arm again.

“You can’t just leave like this. It’s late and it’s not safe for you to walk home. You can stay at my place tonight.” She said.
“I can make it home on my own.” I insisted. I didn’t want to spend a night with someone who practically broke up with me for the second time.
“I won’t let you. Come on.” She tugged on my arm a bit.
If there were something I would have wanted to change about me it would be how easily persuaded I could be.
“Fine. I guess it would save my parents trouble from having to pick me up.”
We went back inside her car and drove back to her house, carefully since she was still a bit intoxicated.