Dark Blue

Valentine

He kissed me. Saying it in those three simple words made it sound so much simpler and nonchalant than it was, but my mind couldn't grasp any other words at the moment. My entire body froze as the world seemed to stop spinning around us. My heart was thudding in my ears and I as my eyelids fluttered shut, I swear I was seeing stars. Garrett Nickelsen kissed me, and caught up in everything, I kissed him back.

His lips on mine felt almost familiar, but at the same time my stomach felt like it would take flight with all of the butterflies in it. It felt unexpected and exciting and most of all, it felt right, and that terrified me. The smell of his cologne mixed with sweat filled my nostrils, and his lips tasted like chocolate ice cream moving against my own. I could feel my face heating up as my arms tightened around his neck to pull him closer. His hands grazed lightly over my back, and a tingle ran up and down my spine.

What was I doing?

My rationality caught the better of me and I pulled away. I couldn't meet his eye as I did so, and the air grew thick with our silence. From the corner of my vision, I could see Garrett open and close his mouth a couple of times in an attempt to cut through the awkwardness that had consumed us. I bit the inside of my lip and shut my eyes, making a quick, impulsive decision.

"So, I'll talk to you later," I rambled out before he had a chance to say anything.

While it wasn't one of my more mature choices, I couldn't bring myself to have this conversation and potentially mess everything up right before he left again. As cowardly as it was, I just couldn't bring myself to ruin what had been the first good day I'd had since the accident. Plus, if I had stayed longer, I couldn't control what was said or done. I needed to know I could still attempt to control the situation with Gare like I couldn't with Sage.

"G'night," he mumbled back, rubbing the back of his neck. I pushed the door open and scrambled out, but paused to look back at him before I shut it again.

"Drive safe," I whispered, attempting a small smile as I stole a glance at his face. He looked about as confused and helpless as I felt, and it just sent me into another spiral. I honestly couldn't tell which way was up.

He nodded and I walked up to the house without another look back. As soon as I opened the door, I could practically hear both of my parents sigh with relief from the living room. There was no doubt in my mind they had been watching for headlights and waiting anxiously for me to return since the moment they returned from dropping me off.

I cursed under my breath and prayed I didn't look as frantic as I felt. I had enough going on in my head without them throwing a million questions and concerns my way. I tried to appear composed as I wandered towards them, and I could tell they were trying to act as if they hadn't intentionally waited up for me.

"Hey Valie," Dad said with a forced grin. "We didn't hear you come in."

"Yeah, just got back," I responded, even though we both know they hadn't just heard me, they'd been listening for me all night.

"Did you have fun?" Mom asked, leaning into Dad's shoulder and actually relaxing. It reminded me of millions of nights with conversations just like this over all of my high school years, but at the same time it was a galaxy away.

I bit down on my lip, the night replaying before my eyes. "Oh yeah. I'm glad I went."

"That's great," she said enthusiastically, and I felt a pang of guilt shoot through me. Her smile was so genuine, and I realized the pain that I was putting them through, not just with my physical injuries, but with my psychological and emotional ones as well.

"Mhm," I murmured, running my good hand through my tangled hair. "What about you guys? What did you do all night?"

"Oh, we watched some movies," Dad shrugged.

"Your father made some popcorn. There's still some on the counter if you're hungry," Mom hinted, and a smile tugged at my lips again.

"That sounds awesome, but I'm kinda tired," I admitted softly. "I think I'm just gonna head up to bed."

"You should probably get some rest," Dad agreed. "You've had a long day."

"I'll see you guys in the morning," I whispered, leaning over to kiss both of their cheeks. "I love you."

"Love you too," they echoed, and I could feel their eyes on me all the way up the stairs.

I shut my door quietly and turned on my light. My gaze lingered over everything in my small room, which was exactly the way I had left it that morning. Over the course of a day, so much had changed, and I had to make sure that something was still the same.

My thoughts were deafening as I rummaged through my drawers and carefully changed into pajamas.There were two very distinct images stuck in my mind, both of them so comforting and heartbreaking at the same time. I couldn't shake them from my mind as I tied my hair away from my face.

The first was of Garrett and the look in his watering, dark blue eyes on stage as he played his heart out a few hours earlier. I would never regret getting to see him in his element like that, even as he had to face it without the one person who had always supported him. I would never forget the way he looked as he glanced over to me at the side of the stage, like I was the one thing anchoring him there.

The second shared the same dark blue eyes as Garrett, only with Sage, they were crinkled and glimmering with laughter on the very last day I spent with her. I knew that as long as I walked this earth, I would never forget any of that day. Every minute of it was embedded in me, from the popping of Sage's gum to the way she grinned and told me she wanted me to be happy.

I didn't quite know what happy was, but I did know that just the thought of Garrett's lips on mine made my heart beat erratically in my chest and my cheeks flush with heat. I didn't know what he was thinking after it and hell, I didn't even know what the fuck I was thinking. But I did know that since the first time since my life came to a screeching halt in the middle of an intersection decorated with blood and scrap metal, I felt alive again as Garrett kissed me in my driveway under the stars. The hurt and aching was far from gone, don't get me wrong, but when I was with Garrett, it all seemed bearable.

As I climbed into bed, shut my eyes, and pulled the blankets up to my chin, I saw Sage's eyes and soft, comforting smile telling me to be happy.