The Blood In Your Veins Is Twenty Below.

Ronnie POV.
My dreams were filled with Max. It was like a montage of everything we’ve been through together. It made me happy but at the same time, it hurt me. It reminded me of when Max was so different than how he is now. How horrible he was. And everything he was capable of. If he wanted to, he could absolutely break me, this left an uneasy feeling in my stomach. I hated these insecurities, all they did was make me doubt everybody’s kindness and mistake it for some kind of pity.

As I opened my eyes, I saw Max staring at me. His beautiful eyes were fixed on me. My eyes widened in surprise, as I tried to hide my face. He chuckled at my foolishness, and pulled the blanket away from my face. “Ronnie, I want to see you.” He moved closer to me, pressing his body against mine and rubbing my arm with his soft hands. His lips touched my forehead, sending heat down my spine. “Let’s go to see Robert and the gang.” He got up from the bed, getting dressed as I stood up as well. I crossed the room for something to wear.

I wonder when my dad was coming back, I thought. I hope he didn’t catch me with Max in my room. I don’t know what he would do. I just didn’t want him to harm Max. but knowing my father, he just might. He’s such a homophobe, he may think this is biggest amount of disrespect I can deliver, and end up kicking me out. I don’t know where I would go, I couldn’t ask Max to take me in. Judging from what I’ve seen of his parents, they don’t look very friendly and Max has already done so much for me. I’d probably end up going to Roberts, if anything else. Robert was always so welcoming, plus his parents loved me.

“Ronnie, come on, let’s go.” Max’s voice broke me out of my thoughts. I smiled, running up behind him as he walked out the door. I jumped onto his back, earning a breathy groan to come from his mouth. I knew it was playful, but it made me feel my insecurities seep back into my thoughts. I was probably too fat to carry. My weight was much too big of a number. My arms went limp on his shoulders, and I slowly got off of Max, looking away.

“Ronnie?” he questioned my sudden change in mood. I didn’t look at him, I couldn’t. I didn’t want him to see me. My arms wrapped around my waist, trying to cover my stomach. “What’s wrong?” he sounded worried, but I still didn’t say anything. I felt my face being pulled towards him as I closed my eyes tightly. “Tell me.” he begged.

My eyes opened, looking at the small pout he was giving me. I broke down right after that, sitting on the steps that led to the lower region of the house. I sat beside me, hugging me and shielding me from danger. “I’m fat, aren’t I?” my question came to a surprise to him. He wouldn’t answer. I knew it was true, that’s why he’s taking so long to give me a reply.

His mouth was gaping open, until he finally spoke. “No, you’re not! What makes you think that?!” he exclaimed, making me cower from his loud voice.

“You-you couldn’t carry me. I’m not at the weight I should be.” He immediately countered my argument.

“Yes I could, I was just surprised. You’re not fat. You’re underweight now that I think about it.” He was lying to me. That was his job, to give me false compliments. He was my boyfriend, he had to do that. I didn’t believe him, as much as I wanted to. “Are you anorexic?” he seemed pained to ask this questions. I don’t understand why.

“No.” I answered, pausing for a moment. “I-I eat.” I stuttered. He looked at me like he didn’t believe me. “I do!”

“How much a day?” he asked. I couldn’t lie to him.

“..Depends on the day” he frowned once this left my mouth. Out of nowhere, he got up and started walking down the stairs. I panicked, following behind him quickly, “Where are you going?!”

“To the kitchen.” He replied simply. Before I knew it, he was putting food onto the table. Bacon, a sandwich and a pepperoni stick. My face scrunched up at the food, looking up at him. “Eat.” I shook my head in displeasure telling him I wasn’t hungry. His eyes rolled, picking up the pepperoni stick and bringing it up to my mouth. “Eat.” He repeated. I glared at him angrily, taking a bite out of the food. “We’re not going anywhere till you eat it all.” I groaned. Why is he doing this to me?

About a half an hour later, I was finished. I smiled at him. The constant pain I felt in my stomach vanishing, the rumbling stopping and my energy regaining. “Babe, let’s go to Rob’s now” I smiled at him. He nodded, getting up and picked me up as well. A giggle escaped my mouth. He held me tightly bring me to the door and carrying me to his car, before kissing me on the lips and getting in to driver’s seat. I stuck my tongue out at him, making him laugh. “I’m a slave for youuu! I cannot hold it, I cannot control it!” I sang to him, making him laugh at me reciting Britney Spears. His hand reached up and he ruffled my air around. “Baby, don’t you wanna dance up on me?” I sang again, making weird hand movements.

He smirked at me, raising his eyebrow. His hand snaked around my neck, pulling me in and placing a rough kiss. His other arm went under my shirt, touching up and down my side, being careful not to hurt my healing ribs. I felt his tongue asking for entrance, me, granting it. Our tongue played around together. I could taste the breath mint in his mouth. His tongue felt so nice dancing with mine. As he broke the heated make up session, he spoke. “You’re so.. sexy.” My cheeks flushed red, shaking head as I smiled at him embarrassed. He just kept the smirk on his face, nodding.
We sat in comfortable silence, driving to Rob’s. We were apparently going to record the song I wrote today. I was nervous. Everytime I sang into a mic I would always screw up because my nerves would get to me. But that feeling was overrode by the feelings I had over Max. I truly believe he actually loved me now. I thought this day would never come, but I really think he’s changed, and it makes me feel so secure. He makes me feel better about myself, to know someone actually cares.

I want this feeling to stay forever.