Family Matters

The door to my bedroom opened, loudly, and Ryan, Nick and Jaime, all came in, rather noisy. I opened my eyes and sat up. Ryan was laughing and Nick was leaning against the wall, while Jaime was looking at photos.

“Can you quiet down?” I asked, quietly.

“Nope, I’m packing and leaving for New York.” He said. I looked at him, my mouth hanging open slightly. I turned my head and looked at the clock, 2:30 am. I stood and put my arms on Ryan’s shoulders and turned him.

“The boys have school in the morning, shut up.” I said. He looked down at me and smirked. His eyes were glossy. That pissed me off. I pushed with all my might and Ryan stumbled back before landing on the bed. I walked out and went downstairs. I went into the living room and sat down in my chair and looked at the blank TV. I heard a few foot steps and I threw it off, I don’t care. A tear fell down my face and I sunk into the chair. Jaime popped up beside me.

“Hey, you ok?” He asked. I looked at him.

“Really? No, I am not OK, my husband, is packing his clothes to go to New York, on a private Jet, high!” I yelled.

“He’s high?” Jaime asked.

“No duh, glossed over eyes.” I said. He shrugged and sat on the table.

“We didn’t do that though, we went to a bar and played pool. But he did go to the bathroom a lot.” He said.

“What kind of example does this put on our kids?” I asked, mainly to myself.

“A bad one. If it makes Deryk feel any better, I’ll go to his game on Saturday.” He said. I smiled and looked down.

“I know Ryan had a few issues with this in the past, but he swore he was over it, but this stint proves he was wrong. Gosh, Jaime what if he’s been secretly getting high when he’s not home?” I asked, tears falling again. Jaime looked at me with a thoughtful look.

“I don’t know if he has, you’d have to ask Nick, he’s always with Ryan.” He said. And if as on cue, Nick and Ryan walked downstairs. I stood, a pissed off look on my face and walked up to Nick, pushing him against a wall.

“You will be honest with me right?” I asked.

“What are you talking about?” He asked.

“You will tell me the truth no matter what. Right?” I asked. He looked down at me like I was crazy.

“Sure, even though I have no idea what you are talking about.” He said. I put my finger in his face and took a deep breath.

“Has Ryan been using while he isn’t home?” I asked. Nick looked at me, sweat starting to pour out of his pours. He swallowed and stayed quiet.

“Nick! Has Ryan been using?” I yelled.

“Um, I don’t, I don’t know. I’m not with, with him all the time.” He stuttered. I have known Nick long enough to know, when he stutters, he is trying to hid the truth.

“Don’t lie to me! Has he been using?” I yelled again, beyond pissed.

“Ask him yourself.” He said confidently. I watched him and turned to Ryan.

“I know this is useless, but, have you been using?” I asked. Ryan looked down at me.

“And if I have?” He asked.

“Ryan, have you?” I asked. He shrugged.

“God, Ryan! I just want a simple yes or no. Preferably no, but just answer me honestly.” I said.

“I don’t have to. I’m a grown man, who is going to be late for his flight.” Ryan said. He walked around me and I went back to standing in front of him.

“And I’m a grown woman, who is married to you, has three children, and is very worried about you Ryan. Just answer the question.” I pleaded to him. He looked down at me and watched my eyes.

“Maybe I have. Maybe I haven’t, why do you care?” He asked.

“Because there are three boys upstairs who look up to you. Are you using again?” I asked.

“Fine, I have for a little bit. Life’s been stressful, and you don’t seem to care!” He yelled.

“I don’t care?” I yelled. I looked at him in disbelief.

“Yes, you don’t care. You haven’t for a while. All you care about is your stupid job and that’s it.” He said.

“Ryan, you know what? Just go. I don’t care anymore.” I said. He walked around me and walked out. I stood in the same spot for a few minutes, in the dark. Jaime was still in the living room. He walked over to me and tried to hug me. I tensed and he let go. I walked to my office, grabbed my keys and my purse and walked to the garage and got in my car. I started it and opened the garage door. I pulled out and got onto the street. I drove down the road and stopped at a stop. When it turned green I turned, out of the corner of my eye I saw a car, speeding down the road and not stopping. I tried to hit the brakes to stop but it was too late. The car slammed into the side of my car, hard, and my car turned and flipped over. My whole life flashed before my eyes. When I met Ryan, when I got pregnant, when we got married, when everything happened.

My car stopped and I felt something warm go down my face. I closed my eyes, tired