All Hope Is Gone

Anastasia hissed as Carol pressed a damp cloth over the cut across her nose bridge. Bruising had already began to cloud under both her eyes from the blow Merle had delt to her face.
“I can't believe Daryl brought that animal back here after finding him with you the way he did.” Carol brushed Anastasia's hair back from her face.

“He is an idiot.” Her voice was muffled under the cloth.

“That he certainly is. Just when I thought we were seeing some humility in him.”

“Huh?” Anastasia removed the cloth from her face.

Carol leaned forward sticking a medical strip over the cut. “Well when he saw you hadn't come back with us he got so damn angry.”

“Oh really?”

“Mhm and went out to look for you.”

Anastasia watched Carol wipe her hands over the lap of her skirt and sat back against the bed in the back of the RV. It made no sense to bring back Merle after what Daryl had found but he did anyway. She huffed. “Can you help me outside?”

“What for? You really should stay in bed for the mean time.” Carol protested.

“Yeah ya really ought to rest up.” Daryl had crept into the RV unbeknown to the women and stood leaning his frame against the archway.

Carol looked over. “I'll just be outside if you need me.”

Anastasia nodded letting Carol move from the space next to the bed. With a sheepish look over his face Daryl dug a hand into the pocket of his pants and stepped forward sitting on the edge of the bed. “I went out looking fer yer locket.” He pulled the silver chain from his pocket and reached forward letting it drop into Anastasia's lap.

She let her hand curl around the necklace and held it tight in her hand. “Your brother broke it. I can't wear it any more.”

A moment of silence passed between them before Daryl snuck his fingers between hers. “I'll fix it.”
She let him take back the chain and watched as he began to fiddle with it.

“Merle is a monster. Why did you bring him back here?” We have other women and children here Daryl.”

“I know.” He glanced up with an irritated look in his eyes. “But he's my brother. Merle taught me everything I know about survivin'. He is all I got.”

Anastasia remembered when similar words had passed her lips about Lincoln and Dana. “I know, but you have this whole group now. It doesn't have to be just you and him.”

“It's always just been him and me.”

“But not now. You're apart of this group as much as anyone else here.” Gingerly Anastasia shifted the blanket covering her and made her way to the edge of the bed. “You're not like him, Daryl. You're different.”

He stopped fiddling with the chain. “Fixed.” Daryl held out the chain but Anastasia shook her head.

“Put it on for me? It hurts to move my arms that far up.”

Licking his lips he nodded. “Okay.”

Gently Anastasia moved closer letting Daryl thread the chain around her neck. His hands lifted her hair as he clipped the clasp shut.

She raised a hand to place on the side of his face but dropped it as he flinched. “Thanks.”

“S'ok. I'll bring ya something in for lunch.”



Again that night the camp were crammed into the RV still on alert for walkers around their site. Dale was busy manning the midnight lookout. Anastasia found herself sharing the bed in the back of the RV alongside Carol and Sophia. The young girl was curled up safe and sound in her mother's arm snoring softly in a deep sleep.

Laying on her back Anastasia was staring up at a ceiling invisible to her in the dark grinding her teeth against the ache in her face when deciding it was just too much and shuffled from the bed in search of the painkillers Dale had left out for her.

“What are you doing up honey?” Lori's voice whispered from behind her as she cupped her forehead in her hand.

“Pain killers. My face feels like it's on fire.” Quickly she swallowed the pills turning to face Lori.

“Listen about what was said at the water hole...I...we're sorry. We didn't know you had any kin, let alone a little one.” Lori tried her best to choose her words carefully. It was obvious that the child Anastasia once had didn't make it.

“Yeah well.” She dropped her glance. “I can't sleep, so I am going to go and keep Dale company.”

“Be careful.” Watching as Anastasia quietly left the RV, Lori sat back down next to her sleeping family and began to think what she would do if she lost Rick and Carl.

“Well hey there stranger.” Dale flashed a smile in the dark as Anastasia took a spot next to him on the top of the RV.

“Hey there.” She replied wrapping her cardigan tightly around her body.

“What brings you up here in the middle of the night?” He asked her looking out to the land rolling forward.

Anastasia shook her head. “Couldn't sleep and couldn't stand listening to people snore. So I came up here.”

“Well it's pretty quiet up here and if you go to sleep I won't wake you.”

“Thanks Dale, but my face just hurts too much for sleep.”

Through the dark Dale could just make out the shadows of Merle's fist marks over the woman's face. “I don't know why Rick hasn't tossed that animal out.”

“He's a logical man so maybe he has a plan. I mean I can't imagine Daryl letting his brother go so easily now he has him back.”

“And that's another thing. Daryl being okay with Merle here after what he'd done to you?”

She shrugged. “Why should what happened to me matter? They're family and right now it seems that's all Daryl is concerned with.”

“And what do you think about that?”

Anastasia took a moment to think about what Dale was asking. “I don't think Merle should be here. He is dangerous.”

Dale sighed. “Yes but what do you think about Daryl being okay with it?”

“It doesn't matter what I think about it.”

“Sure it does. Now I been watching Daryl interact with you and besides Merle, you're the one he's had the most contact with. I saw him kick up a stink and go looking for you when you went missing...”

“So?” Anastasia turned to face Dale. “He was just doing what he would have done for anyone in this camp. Fella knows he is the best tracker we have and is smart enough to know we need all the people we have to make this work.”

Dale shook his head. “I don't believe that.”

“Oh really?”

“Yes really.” By now Dale was whispering in a heated tone. “I believe you are just a little hurt that Daryl is fine with his brother even after he did what he did to you. I believe you want Daryl to turn Merle away. I believe that you-”

“Dale, just stop. Okay? Even if that were the truth, it doesn't matter. Daryl had known Merle his whole life and me for only five minutes. So he made his choice based on what he felt was right. At this moment I could care less for the Dixon brothers, I just want to get better and pull through each day without losing anyone else here.”

Dale's gaze fell to his rifle. “Well...that's fair enough.”



The next morning Daryl sat opposite Merle around the fire after the rest of the camp had begun their day. No one had wanted to stick around when the brother's had come out of their tents earlier and decided it was the best time to move around and get some duties done.
Anastasia was still in the RV as they sat near the door and both looked up as it opened to her stepping out in jeans and a tank top.

“How's the face, sweetbutt?” Merle barked out a laugh between chewing left over beans from the previous night's dinner.

“Feels just like a rapist pig bashed it in.” She snarled walking past both of the men without so much as a glance down at them.

“Merle, shut up already.” Daryl chastised his older brother before setting his plate to the side.

“What? Not my fault she is a nasty lil' bitch.” His hands went up in the air with a heavy shrug.

Daryl looked Merle in the eye leaving a silence open between them before Daryl shook his head and heaved his weight from the seat. “You're the nasty lil' bitch roun' here, Merle.”

The man let out another laugh watching his little brother jog after Anastasia.

Slowing to reach her side Daryl squinted his left eye deciding what to say. “Sorry 'bout Merle...”

“Daryl...you're always going to be apologising for your brother's mistakes” She turned with her hands tucked into her back pockets.

He dropped his head as her words hit him and looked back up at her. “Yer probably right.”

Anastasia let a sigh pass her lips as she looked back at Daryl. There was so much more he had to offer people, he was not is brother. She shook her head. “Listen, I don't agree with Merle being here, you know that so I...I think it would be best if we didn't talk.”

Daryl took a step back. “Why?”

His question wasn't what she had been expecting, she had prepared for him to throw up his arms and tell her to take a long run off a short pier. But for him to ask and try and understand? The moment caught her off guard. “I just...I don't want anything to do with him and it seems like if I want that, we need to stop talking. To be honest with you that man scares me more than the geeks do.”

Now, Daryl knew his brother was bad. He knew his brother was less than great. Hell Daryl knew his brother was a ruthless bastard. But that wasn't something Daryl had to accept as a factor before getting into the relationships he had formed in the camp without him there.
Everyone knew the Dixon men came together and it was best to stay away from them, but when Merle had gone missing it had given Daryl the opportunity to integrate himself in with the others. It made him realise that they weren't the assholes he thought they were.

They were just learning to survive.

And then all of a sudden this woman had come into the camp with a secret she was drowning in and the person she had trusted to tell it to had been him. Not Rick the leader. Not the other women. It had been him.
But now this same woman who had placed that level of trust in him was telling him she was practically going to act as if he didn't exist any more because of his brother.

He took another step back and nodded, unsure of what to do with or where to place the new feelings that were beginning to bubble under his surface. Daryl looked into her bruised face and felt this sudden pang of mind numbing guilt begin to stab at his chest.
“If that's what ya think ya want.”

Anastasia nodded watching as Daryl struggled to process his thoughts. “It is. I'm sorry.”

His head dropped. “Don't be.”