Deceit Brings Fire

“Jimmy, don’t you dare.”

He smirked, cocking his head to the side and folding his arms across his bare chest.

“What you gonna do about it, shorty?”

I mirrored his pose, staring up at him through slanted eyes, partly to emphasize that I was not scared and partly because of the sun glaring into my eyes. It was hot and I would go swimming, but it would be on my own terms.

Jimmy took a half step toward me and I reacted immediately, moving backward. This wasn’t the first time we’d played this game, and it certainly wouldn’t be the last.

“Marco.”

Brian moved slowly and blindly around the center of the pool, his hands reaching out every few seconds only to grab onto nothing but air. Matt and Jimmy were huddled in opposite corners of the pool, elbows resting casually atop the edge, smug smirks evident on each of their faces.

“MARCO.”

I turned my attention to Matt and watched as he held up his hand to Jimmy in a seemingly silent, far-off high five.

“What the hell, guys? Are you aware of the rules of the game? You have to say ‘polo.’ Marco!”

The guys remained silent and I rolled my eyes, pushing my sunglasses back over my eyes and reaching for my book. I opened the book to the marked page and began reading.

SPLASH.

My eyes darted toward the pool just as Brian jumped at Jimmy’s shoulders, attempting to push him underwater. I sighed loudly, the quiet and peaceful afternoon I’d started out with now replaced with the loud splashing of water and screaming. Boys. I slid my ear buds into my ears and turned up the music until I drowned out all of their annoying, excessive noise. Of course, this also made it almost impossible to concentrate on any reading, so I put down my book, adjusted the recliner and leaned back, closing my eyes against the sun.

“BECCA!”

I started, feeling a spray of cold water hit my stomach. I peeked over my sunglasses at Jimmy who was hanging over the edge of the pool with a grin planted on his face. I pulled out my earphones, which had apparently stopped playing music some time ago and placed my music player safely inside my towel beside my chair.

“What do you want?” I murmured sleepily.

“Come swim with us!”

I shook my head, leaning my head back on the chair. “No.”

I gasped, an even larger splash of water reaching my legs.

“What the hell, Jimmy!” I sat up using the edge of my towel to wipe at my skin.

Despite my glare, he merely smiled. “Please, Becca?”

I leaned over to grab my things and stood up, stepping into my pair of flip flops. “I don’t want to go swimming. I’m going inside.”

“Wait!” He pushed himself out of the pool and I backed away as water sprayed everywhere. “Here, give me your towel.” Before I could object, he grabbed it and put it back on my chair. I screamed as his cold, wet fingers wrapped around my waist and defenseless, I was hoisted up over his shoulder.

“Jimmy, put me down!” I smacked my hands against his back as hard as I could. “Goddammit Jimmy, I mean it!”

I heard the sound of his light chuckle before I felt myself being raised into the air and then I was crashing through the surface of the water, ice cold against my hot, sun-kissed skin.

“Fine, fine,” he raised his hands and took a few slow steps backward. “You win. But I at least deserve a hug.”

In two quick movements he was wrapping his arms around me, lifting me slightly off my feet as he squeezed me in his vice-like grip. I squealed loudly both in surprise and at the icy temperature of his skin and when he finally put me down, my bathing suit was drenched and sticking to my body.

Familiar laughter sounded from behind me and my heart rate instantly picked up, even more so after Jimmy’s little stunt. Matt’s arm wrapped around my waist and I looked up to see him looking at me with a wide smile. I smiled back easily, watching the dimples pop in his cheeks.

“Such a tease,” he chided lightly at Jimmy.

“Ha! You sound just like my ex-girlfriend.”

With that, Jimmy was off and running back toward the pool where most of the guys were, downing countless beers and laughing loudly at who knows what, leaving us speechless. I heard Matt’s chuckle, but I was distracted. I wasn’t sure he was even aware he was doing it, but I found myself entirely mindful of the way the rough skin of the back of his thumb was rubbing circles easily against the soft skin of my waist. The action seemed so innocent, so normal, and yet it felt strangely intimate.

It had been a little over a week since the day Brian had confronted Matt about whatever it was that was going on between Matt and I. After Brian had left, Matt and I had sat in silence for awhile before he’d lifted his arm and placed it around my shoulders. This was a response that that he had executed a myriad of times before – a friend comforting a friend – but this time I hadn’t been sure what it meant. Regardless, I’d immediately leaned into him, the events of the past week making me long achingly for the warmth and ease of my best friend.

Neither of us ever officially brought up the notion of us becoming a couple. I’d been too afraid to ask, and something told me that he might have been too. But we began spending more and more time with each other, time that no longer felt like it had when we were merely friends. I myself had decided that it was official three days afterward. I’d fallen asleep while watching a movie at his house and had woken up when I felt a soft fleece blanket being wrapped around me. I kept my eyes closed, but I was fully awake when his lips touched mine so softly that I wasn’t even sure it was real, and then felt him lay down beside me.

The start of our relationship had certainly not been a cakewalk. Brian and I had barely spoken to one another over the course of the last ten days, and any talking we had done was mainly just that of which was completely necessary. Our conversations consisted of simple question and answer scenarios that were basically unavoidable when two people lived together - Did you get the mail? or Have you seen my lighter? Even small talk was awkward, so for the most part we’d kept to ourselves. I, of course, had been spending most of my time at Matt’s house. This was something that Brian said nothing about, but something I was sure he wasn’t exactly fond of.

My brother may have given up fighting Matt and I on us being together. After all, he’d said his piece, and what more could he do? But that didn’t mean that he’d given us his blessing. I still saw his disapproval in the way he looked at Matt every once in awhile, a look that contained anger as well as a tinge of hurt. This in itself did bother me. I knew that my brother felt betrayed by his best friend, in a sense, and whose fault was this but mine? I didn’t want to come between the two of them as friends. That had never been my intention. It really hadn’t even crossed my mind.

Matt and I hadn’t talked about his relationship with Sara at all, the details of which I’d only just learned. The truth, that is. Back then, he’d told everyone that Sara broke up with him, saying something about how she told him she “didn’t want the ‘rockstar life.’” I hadn’t had any reason to question this, considering she’d gone on Warped Tour with them, leaving me with endless stories of all the shit that went down inside “The Road Dog.” It wasn’t exactly surprising. What was surprising though was how she’d basically closed herself off from us entirely. We hadn’t been close friends or anything, but I’d still been a little put off when she disappeared completely. Now I knew why.

I knew Brian would be livid if he knew that I hadn’t even asked Matt about it, but every time I considered bringing it up, my stomach twisted uncomfortably and I couldn’t get the words out. I didn’t like to think about Matt like that. The Matt I knew was funny, yet sincere and tough, yet warm. He wasn’t a cheater. And he wasn’t a liar.

Would he have even told you about it if Brian hadn’t forced him?

The question had been nagging at me ever sense I’d found out. It was like a mantra, repeating endlessly in my conscience. Yes, I’m sure he would have, I argued with myself, and anyway, It doesn’t matter. That was a long time ago. He’d never do anything like that now.

I hadn’t noticed that my eyes had moved to stare at Matt’s thumb on my stomach until he stopped what he was doing. I pushed the thoughts from my head, giving it a slight shake as if to clear it.

“You okay?”

His fingers moved to my hand and I opened my palm, letting him intertwine his fingers with mine.

I nodded, clearing my throat. “Yeah, everything’s fine.”

I glanced over at the pool, searching the faces until I found my brother’s. As predicted, he was staring right toward me. As soon as he caught my eye, he turned his head back to the guys, taking a swig of his beer. I turned back around, giving Matt a smile, who was watching my face warily.

“Do you want me to stop?”

I squeezed his hand, pulling him gently toward one of the empty tables under the tent. I held onto his hand even as we sat down at the table. “Stop what?”

“You know what,” he answered, raising my hand with his own. “This. All of this. It’s making you uncomfortable.”

“No it’s not.”

He shook his head lightly and blew a breath out his nose, smiling as he gently pulled his hand from mine.

“You and you’re brother are one in the same. Stubborn as shit.”

He pulled his hat from his head and placed it on the table before standing up and pulling off his shirt.

I was momentarily transfixed by his toned, tattooed chest. I’d seen him without a shirt countless times, but I’d never let myself stare for longer than I’d deemed necessary, or at least normal. I turned my eyes to meet his and caught his slight smirk as he watched me.

“Come on,” he requested, “let’s go join the party. And no excuses. You’re already soaked.”



“Well, it’s my house,” Zacky argued, “and I say we’re playing.”

“But I don’t like that game,” Jimmy whined plopping down onto the couch beside Zacky. “Pretty sure your guests are supposed to get to choose.”

Zacky snorted, throwing him a controller which just barely missed smacking the wall behind us before Jimmy caught it. “You guys are my friends, not my guests. So suck it up, you douche.”

“Just for that, I’m fucking kicking your ass,” he warned.

Matt snickered. “Dude, it’s Call of Duty. We’re on the same team.”

I leaned my head back against the back cushions of the couch, tuning out their usual pointless banter. Luckily out outdoor barbecue lasted long enough for us to prepare and to eat the immense amount of food we bought, but it was cut short when a crack of thunder led to an immediate downpour. Now we were all packed inside Zacky’s house, the girls carrying on their conversations in the kitchen and the boys huddled in the living room to watch or play video games. The exception was me, not much feeling like talking with the girls, but definitely not into attending to the cartoons on the screen or the loud yelling from the guys to one another.

They aren’t cartoons, Becca, Matt had insisted, serious as ever, when I’d referred to the animated soldiers that way on a prior occasion. I’d just rolled my eyes, as I always did when he talked about his precious video games.

“Becca! Come here!”

It was one of the girls. Rachael, I think. I groaned softly and reluctantly pulled myself up from the couch, reaching over Jimmy to grab my drink. Jimmy whined, sounding a lot like a 5-year old, as he pushed on my arm and leaned over the couch once more, eyes trained on the television once again.

I glanced over at Matt on the other couch. He was in the zone, his mouth slightly ajar as he stared unblinkingly at the screen in front of him. He, too, reminded me of a child, especially with the way his headset made his curls stick up weirdly at the top of his head. I snickered softly. He was such a dork.

“Fuck!” Zacky stomped his foot and yanked the headset from his head, throwing it onto the couch beside him.

Johnny laughed and set down his beer, taking the headset and placing it over his own head.

“Calm down, Zack.”

He glared at me, flipping me off, before folding his arms across his chest. I merely grinned. What a baby.

“BECCA!”

I stood up finally, knowing the girls would be here in no time to get me, whether I wanted to or not. I turned my attention back to Matt as he pulled his own headset off, looking between the two of us in question.

“Are you bored? I can stop.”

I shook my head, walking over to him and ruffling his mussed hair slightly with a smile. This was one of the first times I had ever witnessed Matt willingly offer to stop playing and look genuine about it. “No. Have fun.”

The girls were gathered around the kitchen table, bottles upon bottles of alcohol scattered about. A chorus of my name sounded through them as I came through the entryway.

“Finally!” exclaimed Rachael dramatically, as I took the empty seat beside her and Megan. “Felicia was just about to drag your little ass in here.”

“It’s true,” she nodded. “And don’t think I won’t. I’m Zack’s girl, after all. Give me your cup.”

I handed it over, not bothering to object. It was no use.

“So! Becca.”

I took my drink from Felicia as she held it out to me and I took a sip, making a face. It was a lot stronger than I liked, but luckily I wasn't too picky.

“So, what?”

The girls were all staring at me expectantly, knowing smiles on their lips.

“Okay, what is this?”

“Well, what do you think it is?” asked Rachael. “Let’s start with that.”

I narrowed my eyes at her. “I think this is interrogation time, when we’re supposed to be having a party. Is that right?”

“You and Matt looked pretty smitten today,” Megan interjected. “Care to talk about it?”

I felt my cheeks heat under their gaze. “Nope, but thanks for asking.”

The question was rhetorical. I knew this. But it was also just an attempt to pry, and I was not talking about this right now. Matt and Brian were just in the next room, for one. Second, I’d barely had time to sort out my own feelings on the subject, so I sure as hell wasn’t ready to spill everything to my friends, who would hang on to my each and every word. This was still so new and still so confusing. I wasn’t sure if there was even anything to say.

“Not a problem.” She shook her mostly empty cup, ice rattling loudly. “You’re off the hook this time, but you will talk.”

I rolled my eyes at my best friend, taking another drink.

“Hey.”

My brother was behind me, standing with his elbows on the back of Megan’s chair, his hands resting on her shoulders. She tilted her head back all the way to look at him and I watched the corners of his mouth turn up into a smile.

“I think I’m gonna get going.”

She glanced down at her phone and turned around in her seat with a frown. “Why? It’s only 8 o’clock.”

He shrugged. “I know. I’m just tired. I didn’t get much sleep last night.”

I had gotten up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, and I remembered hearing the soft sounds of a guitar coming from down the hall. It wasn’t unlike him to be playing late at night, especially since they were in the midst of writing a new album.

He smiled, lifting her chin with his thumb. “Quit pouting. I had a great time today. I’ll call you tomorrow, okay?”

He grazed her lip softly with his thumb and she relented, giving him a smile as he pulled away, but not before he tucked a strand of hair behind her hair. His hand lingered there for just a moment too long, sliding his fingers through the dark blue waves before he seemed to suddenly become aware of the rest of us at the table and he pulled his hand back. I found myself averting my eyes, not wanting to look at my brother or at Megan. It had been a simple gesture. Harmless, really. But for some reason watching it happen felt nearly like I had just seen them kiss. It was as private as the way Matt had caressed me earlier. It wasn’t meant for anyone to see. It was just a natural action that others had happened to witness.

He cleared his throat and I felt the pressure his frame against my chair, now. “You’ll get a ride home later, then?”

I turned in my seat, looking him in the eye. “Yeah. Matt will bring me home.”

I watched him, almost wishing that he would react. There was nothing weird or wrong with Matt bringing me home, as it was something he’d done countless times before, but I knew that he’d see the implication. I came to this party with Matt and I would leave this party with Matt. We came to the party together. We are together.

I was strangely disappointed when he simply nodded, patting his pocket for his keys, seemingly unsurprised and unbothered by my reply. I heard him say he’d see us all later and the collective round of “byes” around the table before the front door shut behind him, but I was barely listening. It was weird how annoyed I felt by the simple fact that Brian hadn’t looked uncomfortable or angry or upset by the easiness in my words. I’d wanted him to be. I’d wanted the satisfaction of a troubled look on his face so that it could equal the way I felt.

If Brian honestly thought that it was okay for him to display affection toward my best friend in front of me, but it wasn’t for his best friend to do the same, then he was seriously delusional.

Two can play this game.

I turned my attention back to my friends, pushing the childish thoughts from my head.

"So, Megan," I began, doing my best to keep my face neutral. "You and Bri are looking rather smitten. Care to talk about it?"