I Brought You My Bullets, You Brought Me The Used

I was always fascinated by Gerard Way. I still am, actually. I don’t know what it is about him. Maybe it’s his awkward smile, or maybe it’s his dark hair and porcelain skin. Or maybe it’s just how amazing it is to be around him.

I remember the first time I saw him. I immediately fell in love with his raven hair and angelic face. He was shy at first, and he was hesitant to take my hand when I offered it for him to shake. I knew there was something special about this singer that I’d met, and I knew I wanted to be around him for a long time. I started hanging out with Gerard and his band rather than my own, for weeks on end. His band welcomed me openly and got used to having me around. My band just wanted to know what’d gotten into me. But how was I supposed to tell them how I felt, how much being with Gerard meant to me? I couldn’t…

I’m currently sitting in a cave. It’s pouring rain outside, yet the cave itself is very warm. Maybe because it’s underground, or maybe just because it’s made to hide murderers like me. There’s a small waterfall further back in the cave. It’s making a steady dripping sound, reminding me of the blood gushing from my lover’s stomach and onto the tile floor. It makes me sick, my heart clenching, feeling as if it’s going to stop working all together. I wish it would. Maybe that would be for the best.

I wish none of this ever happened. Oh god, if I could go back, I would stop it all. I would stop the horror that was destined to unfold, destroying everything in my life — the one thing that is my life. If only I could turn back time and put everything right. Just stop myself before I completely ruin everything. But time travel isn’t possible, happy endings don’t happen to people like me, and the glue is only as good as the two ends it hold together.