Never Gonna Let You Go

NICOLES POV

We got back home to Baltimore 3 days ago. Jack has completely ignored all my texts, calls and doesn’t even open the door to me when I come over. I feel like shit and have been in my room crying for the past 2 days. My whole world has completely crashed within the past couple days; I can barely keep up with what’s going on. Alex has been trying to get in touch with me but I keep ignoring his calls, Zack and Rian have been trying to make me feel better but obviously that’s not working. The worst part is, is that it’s all my fault. It’s my fault Alex is in love with me and it’s my fault I didn’t push Alex back when he was talking to me. If I did that Jack would have never have caught Alex trying to kiss me.

This tour was the best and worst tour of my life and I don’t know how I’m going to get though the next one when Jack and Alex are fighting, Alex being in love with me, and Jack hating my fucking guts.

Everybody else knew that me and Alex didn’t kiss because I made Alex tell everyone. But of course Jack didn’t believe it for one second, why would he even think for a minute I would do that to him? Alex, on the other hand a lot of explaining to do to Jack. That was his best friend, and the fact that he tried to kiss his best friends girlfriend devastated him.

I just need to fix this problem. I need to get Jack to believe that I didn’t do anything, I needed to have Alex fall out of love with me, and I need to have Alex and Jack not hate each other. But to do all of this I need help from Zack and Rian.

I heard a knock on my bed room door.

‘Whaaaat” I said annoyed throwing the comforter over my head.

“It’s just me.” Zack said.

“Ugh” I groaned.

“Listen, you need to get out of the house. You’ve been stuck in here for 3 days crying. You need some fun” he said taking a seat on my bed.

“I don’t wannnna. Just let me die alone”

“Haha. I will not let you “die alone”. Just come out to Alex’s house tonight. He’s having a party and I think Jack is going to be there” He said taking the comforter off of my head.

“Yeah, sounds sooo great. Let me just go to a party where my boyfriend hates me and my other best friend is in love with me. Sounds like a blast”

“Come on, Nicole. Please! For me? Maybe you can talk to Jack?” I felt bad. He was really trying to get me out.

“I don’t know.” Maybe I should go. I did need to get all this fixed. “Fuck it, I’ll go.”

“Thank god.” He said smiling

“ONLY if you and Rian are by my side the whole time. I’m going to feel really uncomfortable”

“Of course we will” he said getting up and kissing my forehead. “Now get up and shower you smell like shit”

I did what he said and got up to take a shower. After I was done showering I went to get dressed. I had to make sure I looked the best I ever had. If I’m going to get my boyfriend back, I had to look good doing it. I chose my pink/peach sleeveless shirt with a brown belt around it, light ripped skinny jeans and grey wedge heals. Now for my hair, I’ll just curl it. After I was done, I looked pretty damn good.
I walked into Zack’s room to wait for him to get ready. He was getting dressed in his bathroom as I was sitting on his bed.

“So how did you guys convince Jack to go to Alex and Rian’s tonight?”

“We told him that Alex wanted to talk to him and apologize” he said slightly yelling from the bathroom.

“Well, honestly I hope he does. I can’t help but feel that this is all my fault that they’re fighting.”

“It’s not your fault. They’re both in love with you. It’s on them. Its Jack’s fault that he’s being a douche to you and Alex’s fault for almost kissing you”

“Yeah, I know. But still. I just wish everything could go back to normal. “

“They will, just give it time. Hopefully tonight you guys can resolve it all.” He said coming out of the bathroom and pulling a shirt over her head.

“I hope. Thanks Zack” I said smiling

“No problem kid”

I looked at the clock and it was 8:30. Only 10 more minutes until we left. My stomach had so many butterflies it was unreal. I don’t know why I’m so nervous.

I walked in the kitchen and grabbed the only thing I could find. Vodka. I’ve been sober since I bumped my head and had that minor concussion. So it’s fine that I’m drinking. I grabbed the bottle and took a swig of the vodka. And then another. And then another.

“What the hell are you doing?” Zack said smirking as he walked in the kitchen.

“Oh please. You would be doing the same thing if you were in my position” I said putting down the bottle.

“Hah, you’re probably right. But lets go; we’re going to be late. Everybody is there already”

“Ugh Alright”

I took one more drink and headed out the door with Zack.

As Zack was driving to Rian and Alex’s I was starting to get really nervous. What if nothing gets settled? What I everything is awkward?

I guess Zack could tell that I was nervous cause he took one hand off the wheel and put it on my shoulder and told me everything was going to be okay

As we pulled up to their house I could hear the music blaring and people yelling. I guess this was going to be a big party.

We started walking to the house and got to the door.

“Uhh yeah I changed my mind. I’m not going in” I said as I turned around to leave but quickly got pulled back by Zack.

“Just go in”

I took a deep breath and opened the door to at least 70 people in the house. I recognized most of the people. Some from high school, some ATL band crew, and others who are just friends.

As we made our way through the crowd I saw Rian and Cass. Thank god.

“Ah. You made it!” Rian said pulling me into a hug

I smiled “Yeah, yeah. He made me” I said pointing to Zack.

“Well, im glad you did” Rian said.

“Alright, girl time. Boys you need to leave us” Cass said pushing them away. “So, have you seen Jack or Alex yet?”

“Not yet. I want to see them to settle all of this but at the same time im scared shitless” I said.

“Well last time I saw them they were both upstairs talking. Hopefully they’ll come back making fun of each other again”

“I hope so. I hate that they are fighting because of me. This is so fucking ridiculous” I said as I made myself a drink.

Right after I said that the bitch I hate the most came up to me. Courtney.

“Look who it is. Good job being a whore and fucking up your relationship with Jack” she said with a cold smile.

“Oh, fuck off. Don’t you have some guy you need to be blowing?” Cass jumped in and said.

“Having your friends fight your battles? You are such a little bitch”

Here’s the thing about this bitch, we all hated her. She went to our high school and always invited herself whenever the guys were throwing a party. Back in 10th grade Jack use to go out with her. None of us liked her but he never listened. But anyways, one time me, Cass and Rian were at the mall before they had a band practice and we caught her making out with some kid. And long story short I ended up punching her in the face and ever since we’ve been enemies.

“oh, well I would love to sit and chat with you but I have better things to do” and with that I grabbed Cassadee’s arm and went into the living room.

“I hate that bitch”

I laughed. “Me too, but she’s not worth our time. She just hates on us cause she has nothing better to do” I took a sip of my drink. “Alright, im going to grow some balls and go find the boys. Wish me luck!”

“Good luck, sweetie!”

I decided to walk towards the stairs since that’s where they were found ast. To my luck they were walking down the stairs smiling. Phew. But then I got too scared and turned right instead of going straight to confront them. I found the hallway where Rian’s room was and sat down on the rig outside his door since nobody was there and it was the only place where it was too loud.

But of course my silence was cut short.

“Hey” I heard. I looked up and it was Alex.

“Hi”

“Look I’m sorry for doing what I did. I didn’t mean for anyone to get hurt and I especially didn’t mean for you and Jack to stop talking. I just wasn’t thinking straight. I was confused about a lot of things and made stupid decisions. Can we just forget that this ever happened? I love you and I always will but I understand where the limit is. Just please forgive me”

His apology was so sincere, it almost made my heart break. But of course I forgave him. All I wanted was for things to go back to normal.

“Of course I forgive you. I just want this to pass over” I said as I got up and gave him a hug.

“Phew. Thank ya Jesus” he quickly joked and said in his gay voice that he knows always makes me smile.

“So I saw you and Jack before. All good?

“Yeah I explained everything to him and told him how you were trying to stop me. He forgave me too”

“Good! Now its my turn…go talk to him for me?”

“Haha, no! You didn’t do anything wrong. Just go up to him, grab his ass and tell him to man the fuck up” he said with a smile. “Anyways, he said he was going to apologize to you”

That made me feel better.

“Alright, well where is he?”

“I don’t fucking know, I’m not his keeper” he said with a smirk

Right before I went to go look for him Alex brought me into a hug

‘I really am sorry about this. I never meant to hurt you or jack”

“I know you are” I said pulling away and kissed him on the cheek.

I finally felt a little better about this whole thing. And if Jack wanted to apologize to me? That made it a lot better. I kept searching the house but I couldn’t find him. I think Rian saw me searching for him because he came up to me and told me Jack was back upstairs in Alex’s room waiting for me.
As I was walking up the stairs I heard a giggle. Courtney. What the fuck was she doing up here? But I peaked through the door ad saw her talking to Jack and over heard their conversation.

“Come on jack. Don’t you miss going out with me? Im so much better than Nicole and you know that!” She said. Fucking bitch.

“Are you kidding me? We dated back in HIGH SCHOOL. It was a joke. And I happen to love Nicole more than anything. So you can fuck off. Now, please get the fuck out of this room because she’s
going to be up here soon”

Atta boy. That’s my Jack.

“Oh really? Well that’s not how you felt 2 nights ago”

What the fuck does that mean…?

“Stop. You know that meant nothing. I was upset and drunk and I didn’t want it to happen. You were just there” Jack said.

“Aw, I don’t think so sweetie. I’m pretty sure that was the best sex you’ve had in a while”

Tears started flowing down my face uncontrollably. I don’t know if it was from the alcohol making me dramatic or just my feelings, but damn. It feels like someone just stabbed me in the heart. He fucking CHEATED on me! How could he do that?! We weren’t broken up! That bastard!

I slammed the door open and Jacks face turned white immediately when he saw my face.

“Fuck you, Jack” I yelled. “How could you do this to me? I expected this from you” I said as I pointed to Courtney. “But, you? I NEVER expected this from you!” I said speaking to Jack now.

“Baby, I am so sorry! I didn’t mean for it to happen, it just did. I was so drunk and so stupid. I am so sorry” I could tell that his eyes were forming tears. “Nicole, please just beli-“ but before he could say anything else I slapped him in the face.

I saw a tear come down his face, but I didn’t care. I took one step back one and one deep breath to calm myself.

“We’re done” I said calmly and left the room.

I can never win.