Written In The Sand

“You did what!?”

“Poppy, keep it down!” Olivia said, slamming her locker shut. It was Monday morning. The bell for first period had gone only seconds before and Olivia had just finished informing Poppy about her Saturday night with Jack.

“But- but,” Poppy struggled to get the words out, her face alight with the news she’d just received, “What the fuck?” she settled on crudely.

Olivia sighed and adjusted the textbooks in her arm before they began their walk to the stairwell, “I know; it just sort of happened.”

A low whistle escaped from Poppy’s lips, “So, how was it?”

“Weird.”

“What, is he kinky?” Poppy asked, confusion riddled on her face, “Didn’t put him down for that!”

Several boys in the year below had swung round at the word ‘kinky’. They winked when they saw Poppy and Olivia.

“Will you keep it down?” Olivia said, her face emblazoned in red as they proceeded up the stairs.

Poppy’s voice dropped to a whisper, “Was he then?”

“No! It just, well it felt different to what I expected,” Olivia said and the blush deepened in her cheeks.

“Yeah, I know what you mean,” Poppy mused, “Right, I’ve got Admin so see you at break!” she said as they reached the first floor and she disappeared through the double doors after the boys.

Olivia kept walking up to the second floor, her mind a messy confusion of thoughts. She’d been dreading today for so many reasons. One of these reasons was of course that she’d see Jack after managing to stay out of his way all of the day before. However, this was not her most pressing problem.

She’d left that party on Friday with Sean Roxburgh. And they hadn’t exactly done so under the radar of everyone else there. She dreaded to find out what people had made of that. Or what they’d made of her encounter with Liam. Not for the first time that day, she adjusted her hair and scarf over her neck – her supply of conealer had run out the day before.

As her foot stepped over the threshold into Maths, the second bell rang. Mrs Adams raised a perfectly plucked eyebrow as Olivia rushed off to her seat.

As she passed their table, Jasper Ferguson gave her a curt nod from where he sat next to Richard Simons. Sean’s seat was unoccupied but Olivia didn’t hold out much hope – he was often late.

She took her place in between Lottie and Ruaridh, an unsettling feeling of discomfort clouding her. Lottie had not been amused on Saturday when she’d called to find out how Olivia was only to find that Sean picked up the phone. And she’d barely talked to Ruaridh since her and Jack had split. Yet, if Jack had told anyone about Saturday night then he’d told Ruaridh.

Ruaridh’s face was unreadable.

Unfortunately for Olivia, Mrs Adams did not launch herself into a monologue but told the class to continue with the work they’d started on Friday. This meant that the room was buzzing with conversation except from at her table where they sat in a stony silence. The sounds of their pencils scratching against their jotters and the tap of their calculators seemed unbearably loud.

“So,” Olivia began, aware that these were two of her closest friends, “How were your weekends?”

“Good,” Lottie said, tucking her hair behind her ear, “saw my cousins yesterday.”

“Shite,” Ruaridh replied, leaning back and stretching in his seat, “Although that party on Friday was alright.”

“Oh,” Olivia said, surprised, “I didn’t see you there!”

“Yeah, well, you were a bit busy weren’t you?” Ruaridh said but Olivia was glad to hear there was nothing aggressive in his voice.

“Liam kind of forced himself on me,” Olivia whispered, conscious that two of his friends were sitting just in front of them.

“Well you weren’t busy with just him were you?” Lottie piped up, the contempt in her voice very apparent. Ruaridh leaned forwards over the table to see past Olivia and look at Lottie.

“What?” he queried. Olivia felt her stomach drop. This wasn’t good.

Lottie continued, seemingly unaware of Olivia’s sudden silence, “Well afterwards Sean insisted on walking her back to her house. Only the next morning I phoned her mobile and he picked up saying that Olivia was in the shower but would call me back when she was home.”

At this Jasper and Richard swung round in their seats.

“You stayed at Sean’s on Friday night?” Jasper smirked, his eyes wide with amusement.

Olivia blushed but it was Lottie who answered, “Apparently. Didn’t tell any of her friends about it either.”

Beside her, Ruaridh squirmed.

Jasper and Richard sniggered, delightedly. “Sweet,” Jasper said returning Richard’s high-five.

“What a dog,” Richard slowly shook his head, exasperated. Once they’d turned back to their work Ruaridh rounded on Olivia.

“Does Jack know about this?”

Lottie scoffed, “What’s Jack got to do with this? Olivia broke up with him, remember?”

Olivia felt a sudden surge of anger towards Lottie. But then she shook it off. The only person in the wrong here was herself.

Ruaridh shrugged his shoulders but the look on his face said it all. Jack had told him and now Ruaridh was going to tell Jack about Sean. And there was no use asking him not to.

“We didn’t do anything,” Olivia said, hopelessly, but Ruaridh only raised an eyebrow. He didn’t believe her and neither would Jack probably.

At this moment, Sean chose to arrive, strolling in with his tie undone and hanging down his white shirt of which, the top two buttons were undone and his collar was crumpled. His dark hair had been tousled into a messy yet exquisite quiff and he had a nonchalant air around him as if he were on time and everyone else was simply very early. He strolled up to Mrs Adams, who’d long since given up on asking for explanations, and handed her a paper slip before heading to his table. He smirked at Olivia – a gesture that did not go unnoticed by the rest of the class.

Richard slapped Sean on the back as he sat down, “You fucking dog, man! Friday night, spill it!”

Every pupil’s head snapped up at his words. Olivia knew Richard had purposely been loud and she screwed up her face in frustration.

“If one more obscenity leaves your mouth Simons, it will be detention,” Mrs Adams spoke coolly.

Olivia couldn’t hear Sean’s next words over the din of the classroom but whatever he said, it didn’t seem to discourage Richard and Jasper. She sighed knowing she was in for an agonising double period.

*

By lunch time, everyone in S5 and S6 seemed to know that Olivia Fog had slept over at Sean Roxburgh’s and none of them seemed to think it had been innocent. This was only fuelled by the S5 boys who’d overheard Poppy and Olivia’s conversation that morning and misinterpreted that they were talking about Sean. Olivia had spent the last period camping out in the Art Department with Mae and Poppy. Both of them had been surprised when they’d heard but not at all angry that she hadn’t told them earlier. What was more was that they actually believed her although Poppy had sniggered a little when Olivia had said they’d only ‘cuddled’.

Olivia had been tempted to stay in the department all lunch but the protests of her grumbling stomach and Poppy’s pleas lured her out. She kept her head ducked as she made her way to a table with space, newly bought sandwich in hand.

She could feel numerous eyes burning into her back as she took her seat between Poppy and Mae.

“I hate this,” she muttered as several girls at the end of the table, including Laura Sinclair, whispered furiously whilst occasionally sending Olivia glances. “Sean’s shagged millions of girls, yet none of them got this much attention.”

“It’s ‘cause everyone thought you were squeaky clean,” Poppy said before taking a huge mouthful of macaroni.

“I am squeaky clean!” Olivia protested, “Well sort of,” she added remembering Jack.

Mae frowned, “What do you mean sort of?” she asked and Olivia realised she hadn’t told her yet.

“Olivia got down wi-,” Poppy started thickly, her mouth full, before Olivia jabbed her in the ribs.

Mae looked from Poppy to Olivia, confusion riddled on her delicate features, “Ok, someone explain.”

Olivia quickly tapped out a message on her phone before handing it to Mae whose jaw slackened in disbelief.

“When?” Mae whispered.

“Saturday. I’ll talk to you about it later,” Olivia whispered back. Now was not the time to go into details, not when everyone kept looking over at her.

A throat cleared softly behind them and the three girls swung round. Lewis was standing there looking slightly abashed, his hands stuffed into his pockets and his blonde hair glinting in the light.

“’Ello Lewis!” Poppy said, cheerily.

“Hey,” he said quietly. Olivia felt concerned, he was acting very odd but a grin spread over her face at his next words. “Uh, Mae, I was just wondering if, well can you come to the library with me?”

Poppy turned and grinned at Mae - she too had caught on to why Lewis had suddenly come on all nervous and stuttering. Mae, however, had not and was simply looking quizzical.

“The library? But it’s lunch time Lewis! And our Modern Studies presentation isn’t until Friday!”

Lewis looked pleadingly at Olivia and Poppy for help but they only grinned at him, silently encouraging him to carry on. “There’s uh, there’s just something I want to check. It can’t really wait. Please?” he urged her, shuffling from foot to foot.

“Awf, ok, but if I get caught in the library with food I’m saying it’s yours!” she said, grabbing her sandwich and standing up.

Lewis beamed, his face awash with relief, “Sure,” he said and trotted after Mae.

“Why can’t I have someone hopelessly in love with me?” Poppy moped, a smile still playing on her lips.

“Think yourself lucky,” Olivia quipped, “All love ends eventually.”

“Woah, pessimistic!” Poppy joked.

Olivia laughed too. “Anyway, think Mae will be a while, you coming back up to Art?”

“Ah sorry Liv, I’ve got that History homework still to do and I’ll never get it done if I’m up there with you,” Poppy said, bringing a leaflet out from her bag and slamming it down on the table.

“Aw it’s fine,” Olivia said, knowing she could actually finish her final outcome for her folio today if she was alone.

She was just about to reach out and open the doors into the department when they opened and Jack stepped out. Jack didn’t take Art and Olivia realised he must have been looking for her. They both stopped in their tracks, neither of them saying anything for a second as they looked at each other.

He knew. She could tell just by looking at him. His body was tense and his lips were looking slightly chewed whilst his forehead was fraught with tension.

“Did Ruaridh tell you?” she asked, her voice close to cracking.

Jack frowned, “He didn’t need to, I’d heard by the time I saw him,” he said, his words heavy but somehow devoid of any emotion.

“I didn’t lie to you, I didn’t do anything with Sean,” Olivia rubbed her arms self-consciously.

“Right,” he said simply and it was unclear whether he believed her. “So what about your hickey then?” he said, his words now tainted with anger. He looked Olivia straight in the eye before apparently thinking better of it and resting his gaze somewhere to the left of her.

“Your mum told you, didn’t she?”

“Yep, thanks for that one,” he said sourly, “You can imagine the talking to I got especially after she came back on Saturday night.”

Olivia blushed at the memory. After they’d heard the door slam they’d scrambled to get dressed and had emerged, out of breath, at the bottom of the stairs looking suitably dishevelled. Julie wasn’t stupid, she’d twigged immediately but thankfully hadn’t said anything – although she hadn’t been best pleased about the popcorn scattered across the kitchen.

“I promise you, honestly, Sean didn’t give me it,” Olivia began, “It was Liam.”

“That doesn’t make it any better, Olivia,” Jack sighed, dejected. He ran a hand over his hair and it stood on end.

“I was really drunk and Liam kind of pushed himself on me,” Olivia started and when Jack opened his mouth she talked over him, her voice strengthening, “He was kissing me and I tried to get him off but I couldn’t and then Sean pulled him off. That’s the truth,” she finished, glad she’d told him. Out of everyone, Jack had to believe her.

Jack closed his eyes and didn’t say anything for a moment. When he opened them, his expression was unreadable. “What happened at Sean’s?”

Olivia fidgeted with her fingers, “We slept in the same bed but that’s it. We didn’t kiss or anything,” she said. After Poppy’s reaction there was no way she could say to Jack that they’d ‘cuddled’.

Jack looked up at the ceiling as he processed this information. “And what about us? You told me you love me.”

“I know I did,” Olivia felt ashamed.

Jack bit his lip. He looked close to tears as he looked her in the eye, “Did you even mean it?”

Olivia nodded her head. She couldn’t lie to him about that.

“I don’t understand you Olivia!” he raised his voice and a teacher who was passing glared at the two of them. “You tell me you love me, you sleep with me! Yet you’ve got no fucking intention of getting back together with me have you?”

Olivia flinched when he swore. That word sounded so alien and ugly coming from his lips. Those soft, pink lips had set her in spasms on Saturday night as they pressed kisses against her skin…

“You don’t do you?” he glared at her and all she could do was shake her head. He sighed, “Brilliant.”

“I’m sorry,” Olivia whispered.

Jack sighed again, his breath heavy. “You know what the most annoying part of all this is? I can’t even stay angry with you,” and with that he left her standing there to swim in her own shame. When she felt the tears started to gather, she fought them back savagely.

No. She wasn’t going to cry. She’d done so much crying lately and she’d had enough of it. Crying over her own mess! She couldn’t blame this on anyone else but herself.