If I Only Had The Heart

I woke up in the next morning feeling my back stiff from sleeping on the hard floor. I was comfortable though, having a soft, warm body curled around me. I looked up to spot Garrett; his head was leaned back against the pillow, his eyes closed and his lips slightly parted. With a silly grin, I stretched, feeling him twitch underneath me. I yawned and sat up, trying to remember what happened the night before. I remember watching Gremlins and… making out with Garrett.

Big ops there.

I stood up, feeling my back strain. The smell of coffee got me, along with shushed voices; my parents were in the kitchen having breakfast.

“What time is it?” I asked, rubbing my eyes. I almost missed it and hit a wall.

“Seven” my dad answered. I stopped.

“Seven in the morning? What are you doing here? Go back to sleep!”

“We got work to do” my mom replied this time.

“Well, so do I, but I’m going back to sleep. Goodnight or whatever.”

“Wait, wait, wait. Will you tell me why you and Garrett were sleeping in the living room?”

“Would you rather if we slept in my room?”

My dad frowned. I knew he never liked the idea of me sleeping with boys, especially Garrett, but he never said anything. Leaving my question hanging in the air, I rubbed the back of my neck and walked off.

I knelt beside Garrett and shook his shoulder gently. He frowned, still asleep.

“Gare” I said softly, shaking him again. He mumbled something and flopped onto his belly, making me giggle.

“What are you laughing at?” he whispered.

“I’m laughing at you. Gare, we slept in the living room” I paused to yawn; “let’s go to my room.”

He opened his eyes a little, peeking at me. I leaned in and pecked his lips. He sat up and looked around, realizing we did sleep here. I helped him to get up – earning some laughs from him, because he’s heavy and I couldn’t get him up – and having my parents’ eyes on us, we went to my room.

There, I laid on my bed, watching Garrett wander around. First, he checked his phone on the nightstand then peeled his shirt over his head. I licked my lips unconsciously, seeing him walking to the bed. He slipped behind me as I turned around, burying his face in the crook of my face. His breaths fanned out on my neck, making a shiver tingle down my spine.

We didn’t say anything and after a few minutes, his breaths slowed down and I could tell he was already sleeping. I curled myself around him, ready to sleep again.

So, cuddling with a guy can be very nice, especially if this is Garrett we are talking about. He was still sleeping – cough cough, lazy, cough cough – when I woke up, and not wanting to move away from him, I just laid there, watching him sleep. I gently traced his face with my fingertips, moving his bands away from his face. Garrett sighed and hugged me, like you would do to a teddy bear.

God, my bed is small…

…not that I’m complaining.

I nuzzled against him, leaning my face on his chest. I felt him kiss the top of my head and shift under me.

“Hey Garebear” I whispered, looking up.

“Leighbear” he mumbled and yawned. I rolled on my back, when Garrett let go of me and said, “what are you doing?”

“Watching you sleep?”

“You’re a creep” he laughed; “how did we get here?”

I frowned.

“You don’t remember? I brought you here.”

“Did you carry me here? You didn’t have to” he grinned playfully and I rolled my eyes. “Did you sleep well?”

”Did you?”

”Yeah, it was… good” he smiled, sneaking his arms around my waist and I bit my lip, feeling his lips brush again my collar bones.

Just in time, my phone buzzed on the nightstand and Garrett sighed, obviously annoyed, but didn`t released me. I looked at the caller ID and quickly glanced at Garrett, who was staring at me.

”Hey” I said into my phone.

”Hey baby” Jamie replied ”I thought you’d still be sleeping.”

”But you still called me.”

”Yeah, why not?” he laughed ”so, what`s up¿”

”The ceiling?” I giggled ”just kidding baby. Nothing really, I just woke up and Ga-”

I stopped before I said something stupid. Garrett’s eyebrows shot up and he released me, rolling on the bed so he was staring at the ceiling.

”And what?” Jamie asked, puzzled by my sudden stop.

”And nothing, I’m gonna go get breakfast, or better, lunch, and go to work. What about you?”

”I’m here at the hospital.”

I quickly sat up, remembering why Jamie was in Florida.

”How’s your brother? Is he gonna be okay?”

”Yeah, he’s fine; he’s just a little shaken up.”

”That’s good” I said, turning to look at Garrett, who had grabbed a strand of my long hair and was playing with it.

”I think that’s all” Jamie sighed.

”When are you coming home?” I asked.

”On Monday or Thursday.”

”Okay, call me when you leave. I wanna pick you at the airport.”

”Sure.”

I hung up, having nothing else to say, and Garrett’s lips pursed.

”No I love you or I miss you.”

I sighed, knowing what was about to start.

“What Garrett, what?”

”Nothing” he said nonchalantly, ”now that you and your lover boy are dating, I thought-”

”He’s not my lover boy. And we are not dating. At least, not yet.”

I saw anger flash through his face as he nodded, ready to get up, but I stopped him by wrapping my arms around his neck and pulling him back.

”Gare, don’t go” I whispered.

”What if I want to?”

”You won’t anyway.”

Garrett scooted back until he was leaning against the headboard and reached around me to get his phone. I poked his side and his body gave, a loud laugh coming from his lips as he collapsed onto me.

”Alright” he mumbled, grabbing my legs and pulling my down with him.

Garrett slotted my legs between his and pinned my arms to my sides; he began to tickle me, making a burst of laughter to come from my throat as I writhed beneath him. I squealed, my breath coming irregular.

Pat came into my room and stopped immediately. Well, Garrett was shirtless. And on top of me. What would you think?

“Ew, what are you doing?”

“Boinking.”

Garrett’s head snapped at me, his eyes wide and Pat frowned. I smiled as innocently as I could.

”I knew you’d be here” Pat told Garrett.

”So?”

”So, I need to go to work and you’ll leave me alone so I can get ready” I said, pushing Garrett before he could answer. He held me still.

”Come with me Gare, you know I love you and can’t stay away from you” Pat spike, coming to hug Garrett. I chuckled; man, I love my brother.

”Garrett still doesn’t want to kiss you.”

”I have someone else better than you” Garrett frowned. My eyebrows shot up.

”And this someone would be my sister, right?”

”Leigh? Fuck no! She’s the worst girl I’ve ever kissed.”

Garrett grinned and my only answer was a kick in his balls. Classic, I know.

I jerked my knee up, aiming his crotch. His eyes bulged from his head, before shut tightly and he fell to his side, giving a strangled gasp.

”Fuck” he gasped, sounding strained “damn, fuck you Leigh.”

My grin reflected Pat’s, who was trying his best to not laugh too. I chewed down o my lip, trying to hold back a chuckle. Is it bad that I find this very, very funny?

Garrett’s groan of pain as his hand gripped one of my pillows said yes, it was really bad. After a low grunt, he tried to right himself. His eyes met my beaming smile and he scowled. Oooooooooooh good.

”That was fucking mean! Why don’t you kick your brother as well?”

”I’m getting out of here” Pat said, when Garrett mentioned him. I giggled, watching him leave. Garrett let out a breath and rubbed his face, then glared at me.

”What?” I asked innocently.

”That fucking hurts, you know.”

”Aw, sorry Gare.”

”No.”

”Please?” I pleaded. Garrett tutted. ”Garebear?”

He looked up at me.

”Please?” I pleaded, trying that puppy dog-eyes thing. He kept his scowl in place.

”That’s not gonna work.”

Okay.

I placed my hand on the back of his neck and pulled him down to me, dragging my lips against his. It didn’t take much until he slipped his hands behind my back, pressing my body to him. I parted my lips, enough to let his tongue slip into my mouth. His fingers tangled themselves into my hair, pulling my head back against the pillow. His lips left mine, but never my skin; they traced soft kisses on my throat as I slid my hands up his back, my nails scratching his bare back. He shivered, his breaths tickling, and I squirmed, feeling his lips stretch into a smile.

His hands slid below my shirt, carefully pulling it up. Garrett leaned back to see my reaction, and when I shook my head no, he let my shirt drop. I saw conflict in his eyes, he wanted to do it, but didn’t complain. Instead, he just gave me small kisses, his fingers brushing my cheekbone.

”I love you” he breathed, the tip of his nose gently drifting from my temple to my chin. I pursed my lips.

”Gare…”

”And you still love me.”

”How can you be so sure?”

”If you didn’t, you wouldn’t have kissed me.”

That’s when I realized it. I was still in love with Garrett, and I don’t think I would ever get over him.