Getting through Traffic

The night air was cool; it always was on Frank’s side of town. Maybe that was because there was no drama to heat it up. I licked my lips and picked up a cup of something off of the table.

“No no…not for you.” Frank said to me, and drank it himself. I glared at him and took deep breaths. I needed that cool air more so than ever. We were heading on in a few minutes. Gerard was grinning. Mikey was laughing, going over the finger work for a few songs. Frank was drinking something out of the red cup. I was having a nervous break down.

“This is so exciting!” I nodded; grabbing what ever Frank was drinking and drank it myself. The familiar burn of the alcohol, and I felt the flush of heat go to my cheeks. Mikey looked at me and shook me, “It’s not everyday we get to play in front of people.” My stomach lurched at that thought. We were playing in front of people. Personally, I was perfectly happy playing in Frank’s basement.

“The dude just said we were next.” Frank said. I didn’t know he had even left. Everything seemed to meld into one. Gerard was putting on the last of his make-up; I always thought he looked better with a bit of eyeliner.

“Okay…do you want me to do your make-up?” I shook my head at him and he sighed.

“Calm down…I won’t poke you eye…again.” I laughed a bit and shook my head,

“I just want to go on and get off.” I kept hearing Mikey in the background, talking to Frank. About the people. How many were going to be there. The hot girls. The amazing solo that Frank got. I turned around and took deep breaths. Gerard looked at me and put his hand on my cheek,

“Calm down…”

“I can’t do this, Ardy. I really can’t.” He rolled his mascara’d eyes and smiled,

“Yes you can.”

“I can’t.” He took my face in his hands and forced me to look into his eyes,

“If you can maintain a 3.5 while having a pretty shitty life, you can get on the stage and play a simple drum rhythm.”

“Ardy…”I muttered. He grinned widely and started to squish my face, making me look like a fish.

“Hey, look! A Ras fish. Very rare, it bites when pissed off.” I glared at him, as he stood next to Gerard.

“No wonder it’s rare…I mean look at those teeth. Very pointy.” Mikey said, standing on the other side of Gerard. The three boys looked at me and grinned widely.

The applause kept ringing in my ears, three hours after the concert. I was lying on Ardy’s bed. He was lying next to me, staring intently into the horror movie that was on the screen.

“Don’t go into that house…”He whispered to the damsel in distress on the television screen. I raised an eyebrow, and kissed his cheek. He looked at me, and smiled,

“To bad she’s gonna die you know.”

“Nuh uh!” He protested, and poked my nose. I raised my eyebrow and kissed his nose. I heard the scream of the girl and shrugged at him,

“Told yah.” He glared at me and pulled me closer to him,

“You know what you get now, that I’m wrong?”

“What?” I questioned him, acting frightened. He leaned in to kiss me, when his room phone rang. He sighed and whispered in my ear, “Hold that thought,” He bounded up and picked up the phone. “Hullo?” His brown eyes twinkled at me. Gerard started to twirl the cord, as he leaned back on his desk. “No….Frank…” he sighed, as a blush covered his cheeks, “Yes…I will…not now! It’s too soon. Fine!” he hung up and looked back at me. I looked at the clock and sighed,

“It’s getting late; you know how my mom hates it when I sleep over your house.” He pouted and shook his head. I nodded at him sadly and stood up, scratching my head.

“No!” He grabbed me around the waist and put me back on the bed, “You stay.” I blinked at him,

“I didn’t know I was a dog.”

“Not a dog…” he said smiling, “I have something for you, and then you can go.” I nodded and sighed, crossing my legs. It seemed like he was gone for a few minutes, when he came back with a velvet box. I looked at him and the box,

“I can’t believe you.” He shrugged and handed it too me,

“Open it!” I did. There on the black satin lay a simple silver ring, “A promise ring. I’ve got one too.” Emotions rushed over me, and I kissed him, holding on to him longer than I had ever before.

The next morning was Saturday, thank God. I needed a break from school and everything. I grabbed the bottle of water from my room, taking a sip of it every few steps. My throat was killing me from the screaming last night. I walked down the steps and saw my mother sitting at the table. Her face was blank, and pale. She looked like she had just woken up from the worst hangover she had ever experienced. Her Marlboro cigarette was lit and in her left hand. I walked down, smiling at her,

“Morning mom!” She looked up at me and took a sigh. She didn’t smile or say good morning, all she said was,

“I’ve decided that we are going to move back to Chicago.” I dropped the bottle of water in my hands. I looked at my mother and shook my head, and gave a short laugh. I kept walking to where I was heading too, “I’m not kidding, Raven. There is nothing here. My job sucks. According to you, School sucks. We will be leaving in a month.” And that was it. She had decided. I walked to the kitchen and opened the fridge. I turned my silver ring that I had just received around and around my finger. This can’t happen. We….we just found each other.

“Mom…Gerard’s here…”I whispered, letting my tears fall down my face.

“Hunny…”My mother whispered, I looked down, “This is just a high school crush.” It felt like someone had stabbed me. There was so much pain in my body that I couldn’t bare to be there much longer. Her soft hands cupped my cheek and looked deeply in my eyes, “There will be others.” She said. Tears fell down my face.

“Sophomore year just started.” I told her, “You said that I didn’t have to go anywhere until after high school was over.” She nodded and sighed, smiling for the first time a long time.

“Your father and I told you a lot of things. Your father isn’t with us anymore.” I winced a bit, not wanting to look at her, “It’s not your fault, baby. But…I’ve decided that this is best for us.”

“For you…” I insisted, “What about me? What about the band?” She shook her head, making her brown almost gray hair float around her like whips of cloud.

“The band will survive. You…didn’t you just say yesterday that you miss your friends in Chicago.”

“Yah mom! They were my friends. But…Gerard…he’s something special. Mikey is like my little brother. Frank….frank is frank.”

“They are your only friends, though. In Chicago you hand lots of friends.” I shook my head. It felt like the whole world wanted me to fail.

“Mom…No I did.”

“It doesn’t matter. It is final.” I sank to my knees and shook my head. This can’t be happening. Everything was just turning out how it was supposed to be.

“Isn’t there some way to plead with you?”

“There is already a house waiting for us back in Chicago.”

At eight o’clock that morning I lay in my p.j’s in the middle of the street. I always thought that Gerard was going to be the one to direct my traffic, but how is he going to do that…if I’m not here.

I was born by the traffic, and by the traffic….I will die.

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Author's Note: there will be a sequel to this. I have one to two more chapters after this one. Hope you like it...thank you!
BloodyBallerina