Status: Active
Holding onto Nothing
Prologue
That was all it took for me to know that I had ruined everything I had tried so hard to protect. Just that one last gaze into those dusty blue eyes, that once were consumed with so much affection, and watching as they filled with hate. Tears threatened to fall as revelation hit me straight in the face like oncoming traffic, it was truly over. Turning and losing every last bit of pride I had left, I ran from him and everything else in that stupid fucking house on Marble Drive.
My car, my last salvation at this point, sat parked perfectly in the driveway parallel to his sticker infested Buick. I heard a voice call out my name but I didn’t listen, it wasn’t his voice. I neared my door and pulled it open. I was about to climb in when a hand landed on my arm and pulled me to face it’s owner.
“Mia, what happened?”
“What happened?” I was amazed by his question. How could he be so stupid? “I fucked up. That’s what happened Ry.”
“Mia, I’m sure it wasn’t that bad. Just talk to me.”
“No! I don’t want to talk to anyone right now. I just want to get the fuck away from this house. I should have never come here.” I pulled myself from his grasp and moved to get in the car.
“Mia, please. Let’s just talk for a second.”
I suddenly began to sob, breaking down right there in front of his house.
“Mia…” Ryan reached out to pull me into a hug but I pushed him away.
“Just let me go, Ryan. Please. Just let me go.” Climbing into my car and brushing away my tears I put the key into the ignition and started the engine. I forced myself not to look back; I wouldn't have been able to bear the look on Ryan’s face.
I drove with no destination in mind. I just drove and cried.
“Oh, you’re sorry?” He laughed. “I fucking loved you Mia. I gave you everything and you gave me shit in return. I don’t know why the fuck I spent all this time holding onto absolutely fucking nothing. That’s all anything is with you. It’s nothing.”
His yells were still echoing inside my head, the look on his face burned inside my retinas. And he was right. Every last word he had said to me had been 100% correct. I had been denying myself of the truth for years now.
I could barely see as I was driving from crying so hard, but I couldn’t stop driving. I was done with everything. I wanted it all to go away, for the pain to stop. So I did the unimaginable.
I didn’t think twice as I tilted the wheel a bit to the left and put my foot heavier on the gas. I headed straight for oncoming traffic and closed my eyes; fearing for the best and hoping for the worst.
My car, my last salvation at this point, sat parked perfectly in the driveway parallel to his sticker infested Buick. I heard a voice call out my name but I didn’t listen, it wasn’t his voice. I neared my door and pulled it open. I was about to climb in when a hand landed on my arm and pulled me to face it’s owner.
“Mia, what happened?”
“What happened?” I was amazed by his question. How could he be so stupid? “I fucked up. That’s what happened Ry.”
“Mia, I’m sure it wasn’t that bad. Just talk to me.”
“No! I don’t want to talk to anyone right now. I just want to get the fuck away from this house. I should have never come here.” I pulled myself from his grasp and moved to get in the car.
“Mia, please. Let’s just talk for a second.”
I suddenly began to sob, breaking down right there in front of his house.
“Mia…” Ryan reached out to pull me into a hug but I pushed him away.
“Just let me go, Ryan. Please. Just let me go.” Climbing into my car and brushing away my tears I put the key into the ignition and started the engine. I forced myself not to look back; I wouldn't have been able to bear the look on Ryan’s face.
I drove with no destination in mind. I just drove and cried.
“Oh, you’re sorry?” He laughed. “I fucking loved you Mia. I gave you everything and you gave me shit in return. I don’t know why the fuck I spent all this time holding onto absolutely fucking nothing. That’s all anything is with you. It’s nothing.”
His yells were still echoing inside my head, the look on his face burned inside my retinas. And he was right. Every last word he had said to me had been 100% correct. I had been denying myself of the truth for years now.
I could barely see as I was driving from crying so hard, but I couldn’t stop driving. I was done with everything. I wanted it all to go away, for the pain to stop. So I did the unimaginable.
I didn’t think twice as I tilted the wheel a bit to the left and put my foot heavier on the gas. I headed straight for oncoming traffic and closed my eyes; fearing for the best and hoping for the worst.