Paper Lanterns
Where the hell am I?
Am I okay? Let's see eyes, ears, arms, legs! I'm intact! But where the-
"Welcome to hell Maria," you heard a sinister tone come from nowhere.
A tall man fitting the description of the devil all to well peered at you and cracked an evil smile.
"Hell? What do you mean hell?" you screamed at this man you had a sudden hatred for with no reason at all.
"You know, the place you end up when you don't follow the rules," he chuckled, his smiling widening with each word.
"What?! I look intact! I can't be dead!"
"Oh, Maria, I'm sorry to say otherwise."
"How? How did I.....die?" you almost whispered.
"Do you remember a set of bright semi lights getting closer to you?"
"Uh...yeah," you said calming a bit.
"It ran over you and your car only a few moments ago."
You couldn't speak. Was this a joke? It wasn't very funny if it was indeed a joke.
I can't be dead! I just can't! Wait....why am I in hell....?
A few moments later you broke the silence with,
"Well, if I am pushing up daisies, why aren't I in heaven?" your tone increased from it's whisper.
The man you had a hatred for pulled out a clip board and put on reading glasses.
"Ah lets see...." the scary looking man trailed off.
"Premarital sex, getting drunk, not stopping your 'boyfriend' from doing drugs.....and not having safe sex."
"Two things Mr. "Devil". What do you mean when you say 'boyfriend' and since when does non-safe sex get you in hell?"
"Billie Joe Armstrong only started going out with you because you were drunk and helpless."
he said sympathetically.
"Shut up!" you screamed at the top of your lungs.
"And safe sex is a part of abstinence here." he smirked.
"Woah! Where am I?" you heard a familiar voice come from behind you.
"Billie Joe Armstrong," the devilish man said smoothly.
"Billie! Billie! What are you DOING here?" you squealed.
"Well, after you funeral I couldn't take missing you and I guess I committed suicide." Billie Joe replied in a strangely happy voice.
"Correct you are," devilish man applauded.
"Funer..." you didn't get to finish.
"Time pass twelve times as fast in hell," devil man interrupted you.
"Oh," you and Billie whimpered in unison.
"Hey, why are we in hell rather th-" Billie was also interrupted.
"For her.....Premarital sex, getting drunk, not stopping you from doing drugs, and not having safe sex. And Mr. Armstrong....premarital sex, getting drunk, doing drugs, not having safe sex, dating two girls at once, wanting to drop out of high school, and accidentally having a cat end up in the dryer," Devil man said with the biggest smile I'd ever seen.
"Er....." Billie Joe muttered.
"Not Zero!" I cried.
"Um, that was a different cat.....Kitty-cat I think I named it."
"Oh. Does Mike know you're.....dead?"
"Yeah, I told him in person. I left him all of our money, Zero, and the apartment with all our stuff."
"Good, so he can take car of everything..."
"Yup."
I leaned in and hugged Billie. At least I had him and that Mike had everything in control up there.
As I let him go, Billie Joe pulled out his guitar.
"You....seriously?" I laughed.
"You know it!" Billie Joe smiled at me.
"I wish I could tell you, but the words would come out wrong,
Oh if you only knew the way I felt for so long,
I know that we're worlds apart, but I just don't seem to care..."
He took a breath. I can't believe he memorized my song, brought his guitar down with him and that he gave up living just for me.
"I hope that when time goes by you will think the same about me,
Many nights awake I lie I only wish that you could see,
I know that we're only friends, I hope this feeling never ends,"
Another breath was taken and he slowed the pace of the song with his strumming and continued,
"If I could only hold you, that's the only thing I want to do."
I ran up kissed him and stared into to his eyes. I don't care if I'm not living, I have a feeling I can fit into hell nicely with Billie Joe around.
THE (VERY CHEESY) END
"Welcome to hell Maria," you heard a sinister tone come from nowhere.
A tall man fitting the description of the devil all to well peered at you and cracked an evil smile.
"Hell? What do you mean hell?" you screamed at this man you had a sudden hatred for with no reason at all.
"You know, the place you end up when you don't follow the rules," he chuckled, his smiling widening with each word.
"What?! I look intact! I can't be dead!"
"Oh, Maria, I'm sorry to say otherwise."
"How? How did I.....die?" you almost whispered.
"Do you remember a set of bright semi lights getting closer to you?"
"Uh...yeah," you said calming a bit.
"It ran over you and your car only a few moments ago."
You couldn't speak. Was this a joke? It wasn't very funny if it was indeed a joke.
I can't be dead! I just can't! Wait....why am I in hell....?
A few moments later you broke the silence with,
"Well, if I am pushing up daisies, why aren't I in heaven?" your tone increased from it's whisper.
The man you had a hatred for pulled out a clip board and put on reading glasses.
"Ah lets see...." the scary looking man trailed off.
"Premarital sex, getting drunk, not stopping your 'boyfriend' from doing drugs.....and not having safe sex."
"Two things Mr. "Devil". What do you mean when you say 'boyfriend' and since when does non-safe sex get you in hell?"
"Billie Joe Armstrong only started going out with you because you were drunk and helpless."
he said sympathetically.
"Shut up!" you screamed at the top of your lungs.
"And safe sex is a part of abstinence here." he smirked.
"Woah! Where am I?" you heard a familiar voice come from behind you.
"Billie Joe Armstrong," the devilish man said smoothly.
"Billie! Billie! What are you DOING here?" you squealed.
"Well, after you funeral I couldn't take missing you and I guess I committed suicide." Billie Joe replied in a strangely happy voice.
"Correct you are," devilish man applauded.
"Funer..." you didn't get to finish.
"Time pass twelve times as fast in hell," devil man interrupted you.
"Oh," you and Billie whimpered in unison.
"Hey, why are we in hell rather th-" Billie was also interrupted.
"For her.....Premarital sex, getting drunk, not stopping you from doing drugs, and not having safe sex. And Mr. Armstrong....premarital sex, getting drunk, doing drugs, not having safe sex, dating two girls at once, wanting to drop out of high school, and accidentally having a cat end up in the dryer," Devil man said with the biggest smile I'd ever seen.
"Er....." Billie Joe muttered.
"Not Zero!" I cried.
"Um, that was a different cat.....Kitty-cat I think I named it."
"Oh. Does Mike know you're.....dead?"
"Yeah, I told him in person. I left him all of our money, Zero, and the apartment with all our stuff."
"Good, so he can take car of everything..."
"Yup."
I leaned in and hugged Billie. At least I had him and that Mike had everything in control up there.
As I let him go, Billie Joe pulled out his guitar.
"You....seriously?" I laughed.
"You know it!" Billie Joe smiled at me.
"I wish I could tell you, but the words would come out wrong,
Oh if you only knew the way I felt for so long,
I know that we're worlds apart, but I just don't seem to care..."
He took a breath. I can't believe he memorized my song, brought his guitar down with him and that he gave up living just for me.
"I hope that when time goes by you will think the same about me,
Many nights awake I lie I only wish that you could see,
I know that we're only friends, I hope this feeling never ends,"
Another breath was taken and he slowed the pace of the song with his strumming and continued,
"If I could only hold you, that's the only thing I want to do."
I ran up kissed him and stared into to his eyes. I don't care if I'm not living, I have a feeling I can fit into hell nicely with Billie Joe around.
THE (VERY CHEESY) END
♠ ♠ ♠
:-PHope you enjoyed.