The Capitol's Tribute

I hadn’t realized how cold it was without Finnick’s warmth. All I was wearing was my tribute dress and it provided no cover from the cold elevator. It was with a welcome feeling when the doors opened. Until I saw what awaited me:

Brant, Peeta, and Haymitch. My least favorite trio. All sitting at an extravagant table, hands clasped together, unmoving, still wearing their fancy clothes.

“This is creepy.” I muttered, “How long have you been sitting here?”

Brant stood up right away. “I don’t like that Finnick guy, Rixa. He’s giving me a vibe.”

“A vibe?” I laughed. “He’s my friend, Brant. Not some psychopath tribute.” My mind flashed to the boy from District 1.

“He’s got his own tributes to worry about. He’s using you!” Peeta said angrily from the table. Brant’s figure was blocking him so I couldn’t see his face.

“Using me?” I scowled, “You cannot be serious! Haymitch, help me out here!” I stormed over to the table, placing my hands on my hips expectantly. He was the one who put Finnick up to this.

Haymitch leaned back in his chair, resigned to stay neutral. “I don’t know what you want me to help you with. Finnick Odair’s got his own agenda.”

Yeah, an agenda you put him up to. I thought angrily. Was this my punishment for giving up the fight for victor? Put Peeta and Brant against me; make us fight until we died. What kind of person was Haymitch?

I pursed my lips, making them go bloodless. “I promise you, I know what I’m doing. I’m in,” I glanced sweetly over at Haymitch, “capable hands.”

Peeta mouthed the words, shaking his head. “Haymitch is right! You can’t listen to what Odair says! He’s trying to lure you with his seduction and then have his tributes make you an easy kill! Stop laughing, Rixa!”

I found myself laughing after Peeta said the word seduction. It sounded utterly ridiculous from his innocent mouth.

“Honestly, he’s a good guy, Peet.” I chuckled before I realized what I’d said. I glanced up at Peeta’s face and he looked as shocked as I felt. I swallowed, mortified that I had let his old nickname slip out. Being around Peeta was bursting down all those walls I’d carefully placed to protect myself. And here Peeta was, trying to save the day, save me. But, it was too little too late.

“I think we’ll have that talk tomorrow.” I told Haymitch coldly before disappearing through the apartment before I realized I had no idea where my room was. I couldn't go back, not when Peeta was back there. I didn’t want to see Peeta anymore. So, I wandered around the huge apartment until I ran into Katniss.

It was one of those rare (almost nonexistent) moments when Katniss was vulnerable. Her room was bare, only a queen sized bed with yellow blanketing and two pillows. There was a large mahogany dresser filled with nice clothes that I doubted Katniss would ever wear. Where the window overlooking the Capitol should have been was a projection of a forest that looked incredibly like the one back in District 12.

Katniss looked up at me, surprised and clicked the remote in her hand and the Capitol suddenly appeared again. She glanced down, avoiding my gaze.

“No,” I said softly, creeping towards her, “Put it back.”

She did as she tucked her knees into her chest, comforting herself.

“Do you mind?” I gestured to the empty spot next to her. She shook her head quickly and averted her gaze back to the woods. I plopped down gently, crossing my legs, staring mournfully at the woods. It seemed like only yesterday I was in there, searching for Gale before he snuck up on me like he always did. You could never sneak up on Gale in the woods.

“Do you miss it?” I asked, breaking the silence.

Katniss took a few moments to respond. “Yes. All the time.”

I nodded. “Gale misses you.” I told her, feeling that she should know. If that was the reason holding back their conversations, Gale would want her to know. “We don’t talk about it directly but I know he does. Just like I miss Peeta.”

Katniss glanced at me, pain fill her grey eyes. I hadn’t wanted to upset her but some things are painful to hear. I watched the beautiful woods again. They seemed too peaceful and real as if they were actually sitting right in front of us instead of hundreds of miles away. I ached to be there again, maybe have Gale teach me some things about hunting so I wasn’t so painfully inept for these Games.

When it became too painful to bear, I made to stand, to leave, when Katniss’ voice returned.

“He misses you, too, you know?”

I froze in an awkward position between crouching and standing. The breath caught in my throat as I stared into those woods again. Peeta and I had celebrated our second anniversary in the woods surrounding District 12 merely weeks before the Reaping.

“And we do talk about it directly. He talks about you all the time. He still loves you.” I glanced at Katniss, suddenly feeling furious at her for saying this to me. I wasn’t sure if she was trying to get back at me for what I had said about Gale or if she was genuinely trying to be nice. I thought the latter was worse. Because, if she was telling the truth, it only made things worse and complicated and I couldn’t take that right now. Not when I had to focus solely on saving Brant.

“I guess he doesn’t love me enough since you’re the one hes marrying.” I said in a cracked voice. Katniss looked at me as she wanted to tell me more, but something held her back. Maybe some secret that she couldn’t tell me or maybe she agreed but didn’t have the audacity to say it aloud.

Either way, this conversation was over. I was half way out of Katniss’ room when I remembered why I had come in there in the first place.

“Where’s my room?”

“Five doors down. Across from Peeta’s. The doors open.” Katniss told me before turning back to the lull of the forest. I nodded but she couldn’t see.

Slowly, I made my way to my room, blocking out the conversation we just had. What made it excruciatingly hard was the fact that Peeta’s room just so happened to be right next to mine. The odds really weren’t in my favor.

I tried to tip toe by but it was no use. Peeta was leaning against his door frame, waiting for me. He still hadn’t changed out of his suit. I stopped, feet away from Peeta. He still looked peeved but kept his mouth shut about Finnick.

“Hey,” He murmured, his muscular arms were crossed across his chest. “Found your room alright?”

Obviously. But, I didn’t say that aloud. “Katniss told me.”

He nodded, glancing down the hall as if Katniss would be standing there. “I see.”

I kept moving past him almost to my open door when he spoke again. “Are you okay?”

I whirled around at Peeta, confused. “What do you mean?”

He took a few hesitant steps forward and reached out his hand, wiping something from my cheek. I glanced down at his finger tips and noticed the wetness. I was crying.

“I…” I stuttered. I hadn’t even realized I was crying. Why was I crying? I didn’t feel sad. Maybe a little tired. Was it because of what Katniss had told me? Must have been, but I was trying not to think about that.

“Rix,” His countenance was worried; he glanced back down the hall, “What did she say to you?”

“Nothing.” I shook my head, wiping the stray tears, “We just talked. Nothing happened.”

Peeta didn’t seem convinced so I gave him my winning smile. “See? Happy as can be.”

He shook his head, the corners of his lips turned upwards. “You could never lie to me.”

“You’re just too intuitive for your own good. You read far too much into my words.” I rolled my eyes.

“I think it’s because I know you better than anyone else.” He shrugged nonchalantly.

“You did. You knew who I was before you left.” I corrected him, “A lot has changed since then.”

Peeta coiled back, knowing he had pushed too far again. He nodded stoically. “You’re right.”

I silently agreed and pushed past him again.

“I meant what I said about that Finnick character.” His voice had an edge to it. A desperate edge.

“I’ll be fine, Peet.” I glanced back at Peeta and I could see him forcing back a smile. I silently cursed myself for my slip. I grabbed the door handle and almost closed myself off from Peeta when his voice interrupted me again and he was suddenly right behind me.

“Wait, Rixa!”

I turned around and Peeta was standing less then a foot away. His warm scent, smelling recently cooked bread and something sweet, penetrated my nostrils, making me ache for his touch, for him to hold me and make the bad things go away. But I wouldn’t cave into it. Not tonight anyway.

I glanced at him expectantly when he didn’t go on. “Yeah?”

He opened his mouth a few times, only to shut it. Scratching his temple, he finally spat out, “Good night.”

I shook my head, perplexed by this boy. “Night, Peeta.”

Peeta smiled shyly in response before I shut the door in his face. I let out an exhausted sigh and leaned my tired body against the door, thinking about all that had taken place tonight. It seemed like years ago that the boy from District 1 had marked me as his enemy, that Finnick had dragged me to the bathroom and told me that we were to pretend we were madly in love, and that Katniss told me Peeta still loved me. But it had all happened just tonight. I didn’t want to process any of these things; I just wished they had never happened.

Least of all did I want to think about Peeta and the possibility of him still loving me because it would never be enough. If Peeta loved me that much, he would have come back to me after the Games. To be fair, I had run away, but it wasn’t like Peeta put in any effort to find me at the only other place I would be. Gale would have told Peeta where I was if he had only asked. But, Peeta didn’t. Because Katniss was a liar. Out of cruelness or pity, I’ll never know.

I peeled my Tribute Parade clothes off my body and stood in my room, naked, for a few moments. The coolness felt soothing on my hot skin. After ten minutes, I had finally cooled off enough to put on some clothes. I pilfered through my wardrobe until I found a pair of shorts and an over sized t-shirt.

After unbraiding my hair and piling it all onto my hair with one of the hair ties Cinna had provided, I pulled on my new clothes and hopped into bed, staring out the window that overviewed the Capitol. I sat underneath the covers for a few moments before suddenly jumping out, scanning the room for the remote Katniss had used in her room. I opened and closed drawers and rifled through the whole room, on the verge of going to Peeta’s room and asking to borrow his when I spotted it on the window sill.

I breathed a sigh of relief and jumped back into bed, burrowing under the covers as I fiddled with the remote. Desert terrains, snow villages, and a beaches flashed by until I found the one I wanted: the forest.

I chucked the remote away and laid my head down, staring out into the realistic scene. Lying there, I listened as the trees rustled lightly in the wind and mocking-jays sang sweetly into the night. It felt so real that I almost forgot where I was.

I was in the Capitol, sleeping on a comfy bed, waiting for the Hunger Games to start so I could die and Brant could win. That’s where I was.

But, as I fell slowly into dream land, I fooled myself into believing I was back in District 12, walking through the forest, at peace with the world. I could almost feel warm protective arms wrap around me as I slipped away.