Cross My Heart

Clicking the red ‘X’ at the top right of her computer screen, Grayson swiveled around in her chair, eyeing the dark haired, blue eyed boy who’s stare she’d been feeling on the back of her for the past thirty minutes.

“Can I help you, Tom?” she questioned, arching her brows.

“’Ow was ‘e?” the younger Sykes boy asked, his usually bright blue eyes now seemed dim, and his round face expressed concern.

Grayson licked her dry lips, running a hand through her brown locks. “You want the truth?” He nodded his head. “He’s a mess, Tom,” she sighed, clamping her eyes shut as she remembered the sight of her best friend curled into a ball on the couch. “He’s a mess and he won’t talk to me about what he’s feeling.”

“E’s not talkin’ teh anyone, Gray. ‘M ‘is brotha for fuck’s sake, and ‘e won’ talk teh me eitha,” Tom told her, obviously frustrated himself.

Grayson bit on the inside of her cheek, debating on whether or not she should speak the words that had been bouncing around inside of her head. “You remember how it was when Oliver and Fiona were dating, right?” she queried and watched as Tom nodded his head, his brows furrowing in confusion. “He’s always told me no, but … do you think he was in love with her, Tom?”

She watched as an unreadable look crossed over his face, before he cocked his head to the side. “No, I don’ fink ‘e was, Gray. ‘E liked ‘er, tha’s fer sure. But in love wiff ‘er? Nah,” he stated with certainty. Grayson nodded her head, her gaze falling to the cement floor of the large office. “Why do yeh ask?”

She was afraid he’d ask that question and as soon as the words left his mouth, she felt the familiar feeling of disgust wash over her. “I just … I don’t understand,” she started. “I feel like shit for thinking it, I really do, but I don’t understand why he’s so depressed if he wasn’t in love with her.”

Her words hung heavily in the air for several moments, before Tom finally broke the silence. “Fiona ‘ad ‘is babeh … ‘is firs' babeh, and I fink ‘e wants teh be happeh, but ‘e feels guilteh about it. Does tha’ make sense?”

Grayson almost wanted to laugh as she thought about what Tom had just said. Within a matter of seconds, he had been able to piece together a puzzle that she had been trying to figure out for days now. “It does, actually,” she told him, smiling gently.

Tom returned the gesture before standing up and stretching his arms towards the ceiling. “’S ‘alf past six and ‘m knackered. Let’s call it a day, yeah?”

“Fine with me,” Grayson agreed as she stood from her chair, tucking it back into the desk before grabbing her purse.

“Feel like comin’ teh see Findleh?”

She nodded her head eagerly. “Yeah, I’d love to.”

The pair made their way out the back doors of Drop Dead, a clothing shop that was owned by none other than Oliver himself, and walked to Tom’s car. Once both were inside, he started the engine and they were off to his parents’ house. The ride was quiet, save for the loud music Tom had playing on his radio, and that was fine with Grayson. She didn’t have much to say, anyway.

They pulled into the driveway of the two-story house, and after Tom set the car in ‘park’, they got out and walked to the front door. Once he had gotten it unlocked, they stepped foot inside and Grayson immediately felt at home as the delicious smell of soup hit her nose; an aroma that she had come to associate with the house, after becoming a regular visitor a few years back.

After graduating high school in Chicago, Illinois, she left home and flew out to Sheffield, going to live with her sister, who had already been a resident of the ‘Steel City’ for two years. On her second day in the foreign city, she happened to stop into Drop Dead, merely because the window decorations had peaked her curiosity. In the midst of her shopping, she ended up running into Oliver - quite literally. He’d made her laugh more than she could ever remember doing, and she found holding a conversation with him to be almost effortless. They quickly became friends and the rest is, as they say, history.

“Oi, mum! Gray’s come teh see Findleh!” Tom shouted, and a second later, his mother came into the living room, smacking him on the back of the head. “Ow!” he groaned, rubbing the sore spot.

“Yeh don’ need teh be shoutin’! I jus’ put ‘er down!” Carol scolded before turning to smile at Grayson. “’S always a pleasure teh see yeh, love,” she said before pulling her into a hug.

“It’s always good to see you, too, Mama Sykes,” Grayson smiled before pulling away. “If you just put her to sleep, I can stop by tomorrow or something.”

Carol waved her hand. “Nonsense, ‘s fine. Tommeh can take yeh up,” she stated, giving her youngest son a pointed look.

“Come on,” Tom laughed before heading for the staircase.

Grayson followed behind him and as they came to a stop outside of the room that used to be Oliver’s, Tom held a finger to his lips, as if to tell her to be quiet, and she rolled her eyes, holding back a laugh. He slowly opened the door and they tip-toed into the freshly painted pink room. Grayson held her breath as she reached the crib, peering down at the sleeping baby.

Findley was a beautiful little girl. She had very fair skin and a bit of dirty blond hair covered her head. She was bundled into a bright pink blanket, her tiny hands covered with mittens, not allowing her to scratch her face. She had thin, pink lips and although her eyes were closed, Grayson knew that they were the same mixture of brown and green that her father had. In fact, Findley had inherited Oliver’s round cheeks and nose, as well.

“She looks like an angel now, but she sure can bloodeh scream,” Tom whispered from beside her.

Grayson chuckled. “She probably got that from Oli, too.”

He laughed. “Wouldn’ doubt it.”

A sigh escaped her lips as she continued staring at the baby. “I wish Oli would come see her – spend some time with her.”

“We’ve been tryin’, but ‘e gets propeh angreh when meh or mum bring it up. ‘E says ‘e’ll come see ‘er when ‘e’s readeh.”

Grayson gave another sigh as she gently ran the back of her hand over Findley’s soft cheek. “Your daddy loves you, Finn. He’s just going through a rough time right now, but he loves you,” she whispered.

After spending a few hours with the Sykes family, sans Oliver, Grayson decided it was time for her to head home, and both she and Tom went back out to his car. Once more, silence enveloped them during the drive and it wasn’t until they were pulling up to her apartment building that she decided to break it.

“I’m going to get him to see her,” she stated with certainty.

“I ‘ope yeh do, Gray. I realleh ‘ope yeh do,” Tom sighed.

“Thanks for the ride,” she smiled, reaching for the door handle.

“Yeh welcome, love,” he grinned.

After walking up to her apartment, Grayson found that her sister was already in bed, but had left a plate of food out for her. Whilst she put it to heat in the microwave, she grabbed out her phone and sent a rather short, but adamant text to Oliver.

I’m taking you to see Findley tomorrow.

________________________________

“Grayson Jane, if you don’t turn off that fucking alarm clock, I’m going to kill you!” Leah’s voice shouted loudly, her fist banging on the wall that separated their bedrooms.

Grayson groaned and mumbled a curse under her breath as she reached her hand out, silencing the irritating noise. She fell onto her back and slowly opened her eyes, staring up at her ceiling. If the alarm had gone off, that meant it was ten o’clock, and if she was going to succeed in what she had planned for the day, she needed to get going.

After taking a quick shower, she threw on a pair of dark blue skinny jeans and an oversized black sweater. She blow dried her hair and rather than straightening it, opted to leave it in its natural waves. She stuck her phone into her purse and grabbed her coat before leaving her room.

“Where are you going so early?” Leah questioned the second Grayson had stepped into their kitchen.

“I’m taking Oli to see Findley,” she answered as she grabbed the carton of orange juice from the fridge.

Leah made a choking sound as she set the glass in her hand down. “He’s finally gotten his head out of his ass?!”

Grayson took a moment to swallow the sweet liquid in her mouth before looking down at her feet. “Well … I’m kind of forcing him to.”

Her sister sighed as she shook her head. “I may not know Oliver as well as you do, Gray, but we both know good and well how stubborn he can be when he wants.” She lifted her gaze, looking Grayson right in her eyes. “But, you’re his best friend, and if you think this is what’s best, then all the luck to you, baby girl.”

“Thanks, Lee,” Grayson said, giving a small smile. “I’m gonna head out.” She shrugged her arms into her coat and grabbed her keys from the counter, heading to the door.

“If I don’t hear from you in a few hours, I’m going to assume Oliver murdered you,” Leah joked from behind her.

Grayson laughed. “Oli would never lay a finger on me, Leah.”

“I bet you wouldn’t mind him putting one in you, though.”

“I’m leaving!” Grayson shouted as she felt a blush sweeping across her cheeks. Her sister went into a fit of laughter that quieted as the door shut.

As she got situated in her car and began to pull away from the curb, Grayson still felt embarrassed by her sister’s words. She’d heard plenty of dirty words and provocative talk from constantly being surrounded by nothing but obnoxious boys, but whenever it came to anything regarding sex and Grayson, it seemed that her natural reaction was to always blush and hide away like a child.

At twenty-three years old, Grayson could proudly say that she was, in fact, still a virgin. Whilst the opportunity to lose that innocence had presented itself many times before, she could never bring herself to go through with the act. It didn’t matter how attractive or sweet or charming the boy was, Grayson was just never interested enough. And although she’d never admit it aloud, she knew exactly why that was: none of those boys were Oliver and really, that was their only downfall.

As silly and maybe naïve as it was, Grayson was saving herself for Oliver. She wanted to be pure and untouched for him, nevermind the fact that he was anything but. He was the only boy she wanted in that way and no matter how many times she’d tried to talk herself out it, she knew it was always going to be that way.

She parked her car directly behind Oliver’s and grabbed her keys from the ignition. She gave herself a small pep talk before getting out and walking to his front door. She pulled her bottom lip between her teeth as she debated on whether to knock or use the spare key once again. He hadn’t responded to the text she had sent the night before, but Grayson had no doubt in her mind that he had read it.

“Fuck it,” she mumbled before crouching down and grabbing the silver key from under the mat. She unlocked the door and stepped inside, breathing in relief that this time, her nostrils hadn’t been invaded with an unpleasant odor.

“Does anehbodeh fuckin’ knock anehmore?!” she heard him grumble as his footsteps sounded from down the hall. When he finally came into view, she watched as he clenched his jaw, clearly not happy that she was the one standing in his house. “Yeh’ve got some kind of fuckin’ nerve teh show up ‘ere,” he spat.

Ignoring his attitude, she stepped further into the house. “So you did get my text,” she said nonchalantly.

Oliver’s face only hardened. “’M not goin’ and yeh can’t fuckin’ make meh.”

“Can you speak one sentence to me without using the word ‘fuck’?”

“Fuck no,” he said with a smirk, letting Grayson know his foul mood was subsiding.

She laughed. “I see you showered today,” she noted, taking in his skinny jeans and gray sweater that hung loosely off his torso and covered the majority of his tattoos. She almost frowned at that.

“Yeah,” he shrugged.

“Well good. Get your shoes and coat on so we can go.”

He scoffed. “Sod off, Gray. I ain’t goin’,” he told her before taking a seat on the couch, his back now facing her.

“You have to.”

“I don’t.”

Grayson hated having to pull this card on him, but at the moment, it seemed like it was the only argument she had left. “My dad left me, my mom and Leah when I was three, you know …”

She watched as his body seemed to tense. “I know tha', Gray.” And he did. He knew her story very well, but she felt he needed to hear it again – really listen to it.

“I used to sit at the window by our door every day and wait for him. Leah would sit next to me and tell me to wait, that he’d be back … that he had to come back because he was our dad and that meant he had to. Eventually, we gave up and realized that he didn’t have to do anything. He’d left us, just like that, and without so much as a goodbye. I spent so long wondering why he didn’t want me, Oli. Why we weren’t good enough for him to stick around for.” By the time she finished speaking, Grayson realized that a few tears had rolled down her cheeks and she hastily wiped them away as Oliver rose from the couch and made his way to her.

He wiped underneath her eyes and pressed a light kiss to her forehead. “I ‘ate tha’ man, Gray. I don’ even know ‘im, but I ‘ate ‘im for wha’ ‘e did teh yeh and yeh famileh. ‘E’s a piece of shit and ‘e don’t deserve teh ‘ave yeh as a daughteh,” he stated, a hint of anger in his voice.

Grayson gave him a small smile, sniffling. “I know that now, but Findley doesn’t, Oli.” No sooner had the words left her mouth did his hands fall from her face. “She may only be a baby, but babies know who their parents are. There’s a reason why they calm down when their parents hold them or are around them; it’s a connection. She doesn’t have her mom, Oli. But she has you, her dad, and she needs you. Don’t let her think she isn’t good enough.”

She watched as his Adam’s apple bobbed up and down as he swallowed, running a hand through his hair. “I don’t want ‘er teh fink that,” he said so quietly that Grayson almost didn’t hear him.

“Get your shoes and coat on,” she told him.

He nodded. “I’ll be righ’ back.”

Grayson only had to wait a moment before he returned, a pair of sneakers on his feet and a black Drop Dead coat covering his upper body. She smiled and after locking up, they walked to her car. As she backed out of the driveway, she fiddled with the air vents, trying to get the heat to blow evenly on both she and Oliver.

After a moment, he laughed. “’M fine, Gray. Yeh get coldeh than I do.”

She flashed him a smile and turned the radio up, allowing it to keep her entertained whilst Oliver was undoubtedly preoccupied with his thoughts. When they arrived at his parents’ house, Grayson shut the car off and turned in her seat, looking at her best friend who was currently chewing on his bottom lip.

“I’ll be right beside you,” she promised, hoping that it would bring some sort of comfort to him.

He gave her an easy smile, nodding his head. With that, they both exited her car and as they came to stand before the front door, Oliver grabbed her hand, lacing their fingers together. “Make sure I don’ run,” he said, looking down at her.

She laughed. “I will.”

He knocked on the door twice before it opened, revealing his mother. Her jaw nearly dropped to the floor as she took in the sight of him. “Oh, Oli, yeh’ve come!” she squealed, wrapping her arms tightly around him, momentarily disconnecting his hand from Grayson’s.

“Yeah. Gray knocked some sense inteh meh,” he said, trying his best to joke.

Carol gave a big smile before pulling Grayson into a hug, as well. “Fank yeh,” she whispered into her ear.

“You’re welcome,” she said just as quietly before pulling out of the hug.

They both watched as Oliver shifted on his feet, his eyes darting around the living room. “Er … where is she?” he asked.

“Follow me,” Carol grinned, grabbing her son’s hand before nearly dragging him up the stairs.

Grayson laughed and followed behind them and watched as they reached the door. Carol turned the knob and stepped in first, whilst Oliver stood in the doorway, the color suddenly draining from his face.

“Go in,” Grayson encouraged. “She’s beautiful, Oli. She looks so much like you.”

He turned to look at her, extending out his hand. “Come wiff meh.”

She twisted her mouth to the side. “I feel like this is a special moment between you, your mom and your daughter,” she said, voicing her thoughts.

He gave her a look. “Don’ be daft, Gray. I can’t do it wifout yeh,” he stated, shaking his hand.

She only smiled as she took his hand, and together, they stepped into Findley’s room. Carol had already taken her out of the crib and was now cradling her in her arms, rocking her side to side gently.

“Come, Oli,” she whispered. Oliver’s feet slowly trekked towards his mother, and Grayson let go of his hand. Carefully, Carol placed Findley in his arms. “Make sure and support ‘er ‘ead, love,” she instructed. Once Oliver was holding the baby solely in his arms, Grayson watched as proud tears hoarded his mother’s eyes.

She could feel her own tears coming on as she stared at her best friend, who was looking down at his baby girl with an overwhelming amount of love pouring out of his eyes. She’d never seen him look at anything or anyone the way he was looking at Findley, and that melted her heart.

“She’s so beautiful,” he breathed, his gaze lifting up to look at Grayson, and for the third time since the beginning of their friendship, she saw tears glossing his orbs. “And she’s mine. I ‘elped make this,” he gushed, almost in disbelief that he could have played a part in creating such a beautiful, innocent being.

Grayson nodded her head, smiling from ear to ear. “You did, Oli,” she nodded.

“I love yeh, Findleh. Yeh ‘ear meh? I love yeh and I ain’t eveh leavin’ yeh again,” Oliver vowed, still proudly looking down at his daughter.

“I’ll let yeh lot ‘ave some privaceh,” Carol told them before slipping out of the room, the door closing behind her.

Grayson took a few steps forward, looking at Findley over Oliver’s shoulders. “Don’t you think she looks just like you?”

“She does,” Oli agreed, laughing as the little girl sucked on his index finger. “I guess she got lucky, yeah?”

She rolled her eyes, but couldn’t help the smile that tugged at her lips. “I think she’s hungry.”

“’Ow do yeh know?”

“She’s sucking on your finger like a bottle,” Grayson pointed out. “I’ll go downstairs and make one. Get her a bib.”

Oliver looked slightly ashamed. “Where’s tha’ at?”

She walked to the small white dresser in the room, opening the first drawer and grabbing out a white and pink bib. “Your mom keeps them in here. Just put it around her neck and I’ll be right back.” She left Oliver alone, keeping the door open, as she walked downstairs and into the kitchen. “Findley’s hungry,” she said as she went to the cupboard where the baby’s bottles and formula were stocked.

“’Ungreh little babeh she is,” Carol laughed, watching Grayson as she prepared the bottle. “Gray, love?”

“Yeah, Mama Sykes?” she answered, screwing the top onto the bottle before beginning to shake it.

“I know it may not be meh place teh say, but I’m ‘opin and prayin’ fer the day when meh son opens ‘is eyes and realizes ‘e loves yeh.” Her words made Grayson uneasy as she placed the bottle into the machine that would warm the milk. “Gray, did yeh ‘ear meh?”

“I heard you,” she whispered, finally turning around to look into Carol's piercing blue eyes, the very same ones Tom had. “But you’re wrong; he doesn’t love me.”

Carol gave a laugh and shook her head. “Yeh keep finkin’ that, love, but I know meh son,” she stated before getting up from the counter and walking out to the back porch.

Grayson sighed and grabbed the bottle, heading back up to Findley’s room. When she walked in, she immediately smiled upon seeing Oliver sitting in the rocking chair near the window, cooing down at his daughter. She tested a few droplets on her wrist before holding the bottle out to him. “I would explain how to feed her, but I think it just goes without saying.”

Oliver laughed, taking the bottle from her hand. “Fanks, Gray.” She nodded and took a seat on the floor beside the chair, watching as Findley eagerly took the bottle’s nipple into her mouth. “I was finkin’ …”

Grayson waited for him to continue, but when he didn’t, she arched her brows. “About?”

“Findleh and ‘er bein’ ‘ere,” he said, licking his lips and looking over to her. “I want ‘er teh come ‘ome wif meh, Gray.”

“You have every right to.”

“Do yeh fink I should?” he quizzed, looking almost fearful of her answer.

“Oliver, she’s your daughter; of course you should take her home!” Grayson chimed. “You’ll just have to get a room ready for her, though.”

“I want ‘er teh stay in meh room.”

“And what about when you want to bring a girl home?”

“’M not exactleh interested in bringin’ any bird ‘ome, Gray.”

She thought carefully about that one. “Yeah, not right now, but eventually you will be, Oli. Just trust me when I tell you that it’ll be easier this way.”

Slowly, but surely, he nodded his head. “I ‘aven’t done anyfing wiff the room across from mine. Fink that’ll work?”

“Sounds perfect,” Grayson smiled, playing with one of Findley’s hands.

After spending another two hours with the baby, Oliver became eager on getting started with Findley’s room, and after announcing the news to his mother, who was more than pleased with this, they left and drove to the first baby store they came across. Walking inside, almost all eyes shifted to them, and Grayson could see the distasteful looks that were being casted Oliver’s way. He, however, was used to this and paid the judgmental looks no mind

“Look, Gray! ‘S a dinosaur!” he nearly yelled in excitement, holding up an ugly green stuffed animal.

“That thing would scare me if I were Findley,” she laughed, looking through some of the other plush toys that were on the shelf.

“But ‘s a dinosaur! I love ‘em,” he argued.

“Then buy him, Oli.”

“I will!” he grinned, tucking the hideous creature underneath his arm.

“Can I ‘elp yeh lot out wiff anyfin’?” a female’s voice asked behind them.

Grayson turned around with Oliver, seeing a rather short, but petite older woman with dark hair and green eyes. “We got a bit sidetracked,” she laughed. “We were looking for a crib.”

The woman nodded her head. “They’re jus’ oveh ‘ere,” she said, gesturing for them to follow her. When they neared the back of the store, Grayson’s eyes widened at the variety of models they had. The worker laughed after getting a look at their faces. “I take it yeh two jus ‘ad yeh firs' babeh?”

Blood immediately began rushing to Grayson’s cheeks, and as was usual in most awkward situations when he was around, Oliver came to her rescue. “Yeah, somefin’ like tha’.” He cleared his throat and grabbed her hand. “Fanks fer yeh ‘elp,” he said before dragging her down the aisle.

When Grayson looked back, she saw the woman had left and although it pained her to do so, she pulled her hand away from his and gave a nervous cough. “So, see anything you like yet?”

“I jus’ started lookin’, Gray,” he chuckled. She gave him a shy smile and as he continued shuffling down the aisle, surveying each and every crib model, she stayed by his side and marveled at how much care Oliver was taking into consideration for this. He read through every safety hazard and description, making sure he knew exactly what he was getting. At last, though, he finally turned to Grayson, a 100 watt smile on his face. “This is the one,” he stated, pointing to a rather lavish crib with wood that had been painted black. It was definitely his style.

It wasn’t until she looked at the price that Grayson nearly choked on her spit. “Fucking hell, Oliver, this is gonna cost a fortune!”

He shrugged his shoulders, pointing at the model once more. “I onleh wan’ the best fer Findleh, and that’s it,” he said.

After watching Oliver spend an absurd amount of money in the baby store, the pair finally left and began heading back to his house, a large van filled with what they had purchased driving behind them. When they arrived, the delivery men began unloading the products into Oliver’s garage, and even though she’d never look at the two ‘Hulk-like’ men the way she looked at Oliver, Grayson still found herself practically drooling over them as they worked.

“I didn’ know yeh were inteh that type of guy,” Oliver teased, lightly pushing her elbow.

“I’m not!” she protested, blushing at having been caught.

He laughed. “Yeh droolin’, love,” he smirked, tapping her chin.

She rolled her eyes, pushing his hand away. “Whatever,” she laughed. “Did you call the guys?”

Oliver nodded his head. “They were a bit pissed at meh, but they’re comin’.”

“Good.”

“’Ey, Gray?” She turned his way, raising her brows in question. He took her by surprise by suddenly pulling her into a tight embrace, pressing his mouth right against her ear. “Fank yeh … fer everyfin’,” he whispered.

Grayson tried to ignore the butterflies fluttering in her stomach and wrapped her arms a bit tighter around Oliver’s neck. “Best friends means forever.”

He gave a light laugh, tickling her skin. “Promise?”

She smiled against his collar bone. “Cross my heart.”