Cross My Heart

“God dammit, Matt, lift!” Acey shouted loudly, trying to hoist the heavy mannequin in her hands onto one of the window displays in Drop Dead.

“I am liftin’!” he yelled back. With loud groans coming from each of them, they set the model onto its platform.

“I dunno ‘ow they’re still togetha,” Oliver, who had been standing beside Grayson to watch the couple in amusement, laughed.

Grayson chuckled. “Love makes you do stupid things.”

His brows quirked teasingly as he looked at her. “Yeh speak like yeh know from experience.”

She bowed her head timidly. “Maybe I do,” she spoke lowly.

Oliver turned to her now, crossing his arms over his chest. “’Oo ‘ave yeh been in love wif, Gray? I neveh met the bloke,” he said accusingly.

She rolled her eyes. “It’s not important.”

“It is!” he argued.

“It’s not,” she retorted before walking over to Acey, who was tossing her vibrant red hair into a high ponytail. “Feel like going to grab some coffee?”

“I’d love to,” the girl smiled before turning to her boyfriend. “I’m gonna go grab some coffee with Gray.”

“Why’re yeh tellin’ meh?” Matt said with a smirk on his face.

Acey rolled her eyes. “You can be such an asshole sometimes.”

He laughed and gave her a short peck on the lips. “’S ‘cause I love yeh so much.”

“Love me a little less then,” she joked. “I’m just gonna go grab my coat. Be right back,” she told Grayson.

“’M not gonna forget what we were talkin’ about, Gray,” Oliver said, catching her off guard.

“I told you it’s not important,” she sighed.

“Wha’ isn’t important?” Matt asked.

“Grayson ‘ere said she was in love wif some bloke and I neveh knew!” Oliver explained.

“I never said that!” Grayson disputed.

Matt snickered. “Oh, Grayson ‘ere is still in love,” he teased, earning him a glare.

“Shut your mouth, Nicholls!” she threatened curtly.

He held his hands up. “Meh mouf is shut!”

“This is bollocks, Grayson! We tell each otha everyfin'!” Oliver whined.

“Not everyfin’ …”

“Matt, I fucking swear, if you don’t shut your big ass mouth, I’m going to do it for you!” Grayson yelled, clearly agitated with the boy.

He roared with laughter. “I promise, I won’ say anyfin’ else!”

Grayson ignored the pointed look she was receiving from Oliver and grabbed Acey’s hand as soon as she was close enough, before practically running out the door. “I’m going to murder your boyfriend one of these days.”

Acey laughed. “What’d he do?”

“He can’t keep his big mouth shut!”

“About?” the red head pressed.

Grayson sighed. “I’m just afraid one of these days he’s going to say something and let it slip that I still have feelings for Oli.”

“He wouldn’t do that to you. Matt likes to joke around, but he knows when to keep his mouth shut,” Acey stated.

“I hope so.”

When they reached the café that was just down the street, they both ordered their coffees and waited patiently as they were made. After grabbing their cups, they took their seats at a small table near the window.

“So, why haven’t you told Oli about you being in love with him?”

Grayson sighed, tracing the top of her cup with her index finger. “I have told him, Ace.”

“And what exactly did he say when you told him?”

She chewed on her bottom lip for a moment. “He told me that although he thought I was a beautiful girl, he just didn’t feel that way about me. He kept apologizing afterwards, afraid that I wasn’t going to talk to him anymore, but I assured him that that wasn’t the case.” She leaned back in her seat. “It was so fucking humiliating, Acey.”

Acey gave her a sympathetic look. “Have you ever tried to date someone else?”

Grayson snorted. “I don’t really have the time to. I mean, I try to get as many hours as I can in at Drop Dead, just so my sister can feel that I’m contributing something to our rent, and then comes the band,” she said, referring to the band both Oliver and Matt were in: Bring Me the Horizon. “And then in between all of that, I’m still trying to figure out just exactly what the hell I’m gonna do with my life.”

“You never went to school?”

She shook her head. “When I first came out here, I had every intention of going to school. But then … I don’t know. I just didn’t see the point of throwing money away when I had no idea of what my career plans were.” She took a second to breathe. “Did you always want to be a make-up artist?"

Acey nodded her head, her face suddenly lighting up. “It’s the only thing I’ve ever wanted to do and I know that sounds silly, but it's true. I love being able to help make people feel good about how they look.”

Grayson smiled. “I bet it’s a nice feeling.”

She nodded her head, taking a sip of her coffee. “It is. I mean, even if it’s only for the few moments that I’m with them, I love seeing how happy they look when they see themselves in the mirror.” She leaned forward, resting her elbows on the table. “I have this idea, and I’ve only talked to Matt about it, but I’d like to get your opinion.”

“Go for it.”

“Well, I’ve always loved experimenting with make-up and it’s always been a dream of mine to come out with my own line. So, I was thinking, maybe I could talk to Oliver about it and see if we can work something out where Drop Dead comes out with make-up products. I mean, I know there’s a lot of work that would have to go into it, but what do you think? Do you think Oliver would go for it?” Acey asked her, nearly bouncing around in her seat.

Grayson immediately grinned. “That’s a great idea, Ace! I’m sure Oliver would love to do it with it you. I mean, it’d be making the both of you some money and you know Oli’ll do anything he can to help out his friends.”

Acey relaxed back into her seat, practically glowing now. “I think I’ll work some more on the idea and talk to him later this week. I’m so excited now!” she beamed, making Grayson laugh.

They spent a little while longer at the coffee shop, making small conversation, before making the dreadful walk back to Drop Dead. Grayson knew her best friend very well, and he was an inquisitive person; he wasn’t going to drop their previous conversation until he got some answers.

“Meh bird’s returned!” Matt shouted as soon as Grayson and Acey stepped into the shop.

Acey laughed. “Did you miss me?”

“’Course,” he grinned, pulling her into his arms.

Grayson couldn’t help the wave of envy that hit her as she watched them embrace each other. She longed for that; wanted nothing more than for someone to want her like that.

“Grayson!”

She turned upon hearing her name being shouted, and saw it was coming from a smiling blond - Jona Weinhofen, one of the guitarists of the band. “Hey, Jona,” she smiled as he pulled her into a hug.

“How’re ya?” he asked, his Australian accent hitting her ears.

“I’m alright. How about you?”

He pulled away, stuffing his hands into his pockets. “I’m pretty good myself. Can’t complain,” he shrugged.

Before she could think of anything to say, the back room door opened, revealing Tom, Oliver, and Matt “Vegan” Kean, also another member of the band.

“’Ey, Grayson,” Vegan greeted, flashing her a smile, pushing his long hair from his face.

“Hey, Vegan,” she said, returning the gesture.

“Lee jus’ texted meh. Is everyone down wif goin’ to ‘is house lateh?” Tom questioned, holding his phone in the air. After receiving nods of heads, he began replying back to the bassist.

“Is your mom gonna watch Findley?” Grayson questioned, looking at Oliver.

He nodded his head. “I didn’ realleh want teh go, but the lads said I ‘ad to; payment for them ‘elpin’ out wif Finn’s room,” he told her.

“It’s okay to go out every once in awhile, you know, Oli. You don’t have to feel guilty about it,” Grayson told him and watched as he merely shrugged his shoulders, an unreadable expression on his face.

“I’ll see yeh lot in two ‘ouas!” Tom said, waving to everyone as he made for the doors.

“Where yeh goin’?” Oli asked.

“’Ome. I gotta few pictures teh edit,” he explained before walking out.

Acey leaned into Grayson. “Let’s head to your apartment,” she whispered.

“Why?”

“I’m gonna make Oli want you tonight,” she grinned.

Grayson rolled her eyes. “I’ve tried it all before; it’s not gonna work.”

“Oi, what’re yeh two whisperin’ about ova there?” Matt asked, looking at them.

“Nothing,” Acey smiled.

“I fink the Yanks are conspirin’,” he joked, earning a laugh from the group.

“Grayson and I are heading to her apartment. We’ll see you all later,” Acey stated before giving Matt a quick kiss on the lips, and grabbing Grayson’s hand, pulling her away.

“We still ‘ave teh talk, Gray!” Oli yelled behind them, and suddenly, Grayson found her legs moving quicker out of the shop.

It seemed that as soon as they stepped into her apartment, Acey had been working on ‘sexing up’ Grayson. Of course, Grayson trusted her as she did this for a living, but she still couldn’t help but to feel unnerved about the situation. She’d tried dressing to impress Oliver many times before, and he’d never give her anything more than a glance over and a ‘Yeh look nice, Gray’ before he’d go back to nursing whatever drink was in his hand. And because she knew that that was exactly what was going to happen tonight, she wouldn’t allow herself to become excited over anything Acey was doing.

“If I do say so myself, I think I did a pretty great fucking job. Of course, you’re gorgeous either way, Gray, but right now – well, Oliver would be crazy not to want you. Go take a look,” Acey urged, pushing Grayson towards the mirror that hung on the back of her door.

A ball of nerves bounced in her stomach as she took in her appearance. Acey had only curled the ends of her brown locks, making it so they framed her face. The long white tank top she wore clung to her curves in a good way and the push up bra she wore underneath gave her just a bit of cleavage. The shirt hung mid-thigh over her black leggings. She wore a simple black cardigan over her top, and had the sleeves pushed back to her elbows. A bit of shimmering grey eye shadow covered her eyelids and mascara coated her lashes, making them appear longer than they actually were. Black liner decorated the tops of her lids and underneath her eyes. There was only a small amount of cover-up applied to her face, hiding whatever blemishes she had, topped with a hint of powder and blush, whilst a clear gloss covered her lips.

She really did look beautiful.

“Well?” Acey questioned from behind her, her hands clapped together.

“You did a good job, Ace. Thank you,” Grayson smiled, turning around to hug her friend.

“You’re more than welcome. I’m just gonna change in your bathroom and then we can go,” she said, grabbing her bag and leaving the room.

As Grayson grabbed her purse and headed out into the living room, she heard the door open, making her head snap up. Leah walked through the door, yanking at the tight bun her hair was in.

“I swear, my jackass of a boss is going to get what’s coming to him one of these days!" she vented, going straight into the kitchen to grab a small glass and the bottle of scotch that was kept under the sink.

“What happened this time?”

“He’s just so fucking inconsiderate and-“ Leah stopped talking as soon as she turned around, seeing how Grayson looked. “Hot mama! Dressing up for Oliver?” she smiled.

Grayson rolled her eyes. “It was Acey’s idea.”

Leah laughed. “Well you look good. I haven’t seen you wear make-up in awhile. Hell, I haven’t seen you out of jeans and a tee shirt in awhile.”

“I like to be comfortable.”

“Isn’t it nice to be able to feel comfortable around the person you love?”

Grayson sighed dramatically, plopping herself down at the table. “Just drink your scotch and shut up.”

Her sister laughed as Acey came into the room, wearing a pair of tight skinny jeans and a loose fitting off-the-shoulder grey and white striped top. Her short, choppy red hair held volume to it and her make-up only made her look even more beautiful.

“I’m ready!” she cheered, slipping on her coat.

Grayson stood up, hitching the strap of her purse over her shoulder. “Let’s get this over with.”

“Text me if you need anything, and if you decide not to come home, let me know,” Leah told her, the underlying meaning of her words not going over Grayson’s head.

“I’ll come home,” she promised before opening the door and stepping into the hallway.

“Love you!”

Grayson laughed and shook her head. “Love you, too, Leah!”

The entire drive to Lee’s, Acey took it upon herself to blast a mixed CD of hers and sung obnoxiously loud, earning them a few looks from passing cars. Grayson could only laugh and shake her head at the girl, not doubting how perfect she and Matt were together for a second.

As they pulled onto Lee’s street, Grayson groaned as she saw the line of cars parked on either sides. After circling around, they settled for parking nearly several houses down and Acey locked the doors as they padded onto the sidewalk.

“It’s too fucking cold for this,” she complained, pulling her jacket tighter around her body.

Acey laughed. “You’ll be warm enough in a minute, love.”

Grayson sighed but said nothing more as they made their way into Lee’s over-packed house. There was hardly any room to move, and the air smelt of cigarettes and weed, but that wasn’t anything new. Acey held onto her hand as they meandered through the standing bodies and didn’t let go until they were safely in Lee’s kitchen, where their group of boys were.

Grayson stopped walking as her eyes landed on Oliver. He always looked good to her, no matter what he wore, but damnit if he didn’t look so fucking attractive tonight. His legs were suffocated in a pair of dark denim jeans and his torso was clad in a white v-neck sweater, showing off just a bit of his chest tattoos, as well as the large rose covering the skin of his throat. There was a black beanie placed over his head, allowing only the sides of his hair to frame his face. He had shaved, leaving his skin looking fresh and perfect. His slightly plumped lips were a bit red, most likely from the drink he had cradled in his right hand.

Oliver was just gorgeous and Grayson couldn’t catch her breath.

“While you were off staring at Mr. Sykes, I got you a drink,” Acey’s voice broke through her thoughts and she blushed as she took the drink from her hand.

“Did anyone notice?”

Acey shook her head. “Probably just me, as they’re all talking.”

Grayson sighed in relief. “What’s this?” she queried, holding up the red Solo cup.

“Just some rum and coke,” the red head told her before taking a sip of her own drink. “Go talk to him.”

“He’s talking to the guys.”

Acey snorted. “Who cares? Go!” she demanded, pushing Grayson forward. She stumbled over her feet and if it hadn’t been for a pair of hands gripping her waist, Grayson was sure she would’ve fallen flat on her face. “Oops!”

Grayson glared at the girl, who quickly ran to her boyfriend, before looking up at her savior. A shy smile spread across her lips. “Thanks, Oli.”

“Yeh welcome,” he smiled, letting go of her hips. Grayson steadied herself and took a chug of the alcohol in her cup, anticipating the confidence it would bring her. “Yeh look nice, Gray.”

She could have cringed at those all too familiar words, but instead, she settled for a smile. “Thanks.”

Oliver nodded his head and casually sipped out of his cup, his eyes darting back to their group of friends who were already delved into conversation. Grayson knew she shouldn’t have expected more than that from him, but foolishly, she had and consequently, she had no one to be angry at other than herself. She stood beside Oliver, leaning against the counter with her left arm over her middle, gulping down her drink. When it was empty, she turned around, scanning the counter for something stronger and a bit more to her liking.

“I bought yeh a bottle of tequila. ‘S in the freezeh,” Oliver stated, not bothering to look at her.

She grinned. “You’re the best!”

“So I’ve ‘eard,” he chuckled. Grayson ignored his comment and went straight to the fridge, pulling the top door open and eagerly took the full bottle of gold liquid. She set her cup on the counter and poured the tequila in, not stopping until more than half the cup was filled. “Jesus, Gray, the parteh’s onleh just started! Pace yehself!” Oliver scolded, taking the bottle away from her.

“I was done anyways,” she said, sticking her tongue out at him before taking a long drink from her cup.

He shook his head. “Yeh mental, I tell yeh. Mental!”

Grayson laughed and shrugged her shoulders, not bothering to argue with him. When twenty minutes had come and gone, she found herself growing bored of just standing around, watching everyone else talk. She excused herself from the group and ventured out into the living room, scanning the area for anyone who looked familiar. She smiled when she saw Tom heading her way.

“You just get here?” she questioned once he reached her, giving him a hug.

“Yeah, lost track of time,” he laughed. “Where’s everehone?”

“In the kitchen. I got bored,” she explained.

Tom grinned. “Let me get a drink and I’ll come keep yeh companeh.”

“I’ll be waiting,” she said gratefully.

Once Tom disappeared, she sighed and rested her back against the wall, which was vibrating from the loud music that was being played. She watched as girls who were barely dressed grinded against guys who were all too eager for the friction, and she couldn’t help but to laugh.

“’M back!” Tom announced, coming to stand beside her. “’Oo’re yeh laughin’ at?” he asked as he took a sip of the beer in his hand.

“Just at all these silly girls. I really wish they’d respect themselves more,” Grayson said.

“Speakin' on be'alf of lads everehwhere, I’m ratheh ‘appeh they don’,” he commented, making the both of them laugh. “By the way, fanks fer talkin’ Oli inteh seein’ Findleh. Means a lot to me and meh famileh.”

She shrugged and gave him a smile. “You’re welcome.”

The two of them continued talking and as the cup in Grayson’s hand began to empty, she could feel the effects of the alcohol in her body. She felt slightly warm and she was laughing more than she would have if she were sober. But, being that she was at a party, she felt she had the right to drink the night away.

“Yeh cheeks are pink,” Tom teased, pinching her face.

“You’re one to talk,” Grayson laughed, swatting his hand away. “But I am fucking hot. Hold this,” she said, shoving her cup into Tom’s chest. She shrugged out of her cardigan and threw it onto the back of one of Lee's couches, leaving her in just her tank top and tights and sighed. “So much better.”

He chuckled. “Yeh look fit, Gray,” he complimented before handing over her drink.

“I’m glad you think so.”

Tom smirked. “Olleh finks so, too, Gray. ‘E jus’ won’t admit it.”

“I’m sure that’s what it is,” she said sarcastically, making Tom laugh. “I need a refill.”

“Oi, me too. Come on.” He led the way back into the kitchen and Grayson noticed that their group had dispersed, save for Oli and Jona who were still standing in their same spots.

“Can I have my bottle back?” Grayson asked in an innocent voice, pushing her lips into a pout.

“Wha’ ‘appened teh yeh jacket?” Oliver queried, ignoring her question.

“I got hot so I took it off,” she shrugged.

He shook his head but reached into the cabinet behind his legs, pulling out the tequila. “’M pourin’,” he stated, twisting the cap off.

Grayson groaned but handed over her cup, waiting for him to fill it. When he gave it back to her, she frowned at how little he had poured. “Oli, I need more than that!”

“Yeh want more, love, but yeh don’ need more,” he corrected.

“Since when did you become a party pooper?” she scoffed.

“Sin - what the fuck!” Oliver shouted, looking behind him.

“I got the bottle, Gray!” Tom cheered, holding the tequila in the air.

“Oi, give it ‘ere, yeh wanka!”

Tom shook his head, still grinning as he ran behind Grayson. “I’ll meet yeh back at our spot!” he told her before running out of the kitchen.

She found herself giggling, something she only did when she was drunk or when Oliver would say just the right things to cause such an action. She covered her mouth with her hand, noticing the look her best friend was giving her.

“Yeh gigglin’,” he pointed out. “Yeh onleh giggle when yeh drunk.”

“That’s not the only time,” she protested before slapping her hand back over her mouth, trying to keep herself from saying too much.

Jona laughed. “Careful there, Gray,” he warned playfully, giving her a wink before walking off.

Oliver sighed, tugging at the beanie on his head. “Let’s go outside. Some fresh air’ll do yeh good,” he said, taking hold of Grayson’s hand. He led them outside and she had to admit, the cold air felt good against her warm skin. “Feel a lil’ betteh?”

She nodded. “Yeah.”

He smiled and took a seat in one of the lawn chairs, motioning for Grayson to sit in the vacant one beside him. When she did, he pulled out a pack of cigarettes, handing her one before tucking one between his lips. He lit the stick and handed his lighter to Grayson, who mimicked his actions before handing it back to him.

Grayson took a long drag, inhaling the nicotine before breathing out, watching as a small cloud of smoke drifted above her head. For several moments, they didn’t talk, only puffed on their cigarettes until they were finished. Grayson could feel the rush of the tobacco going to her head.

“Are yeh too drunk teh remembeh earlieh?” he questioned, earning an eye roll.

“I’m tipsy, Oli, not drunk.”

He nodded his head. “Well … can yeh answeh meh question now?”

Grayson sighed, knowing she was going to have to make up a lie in order to get him to let the subject go. “It was just this guy back home.”

“From Chicago?”

She nodded her head. “We dated for a little while and when graduation came, we broke up.”

“But yeh said yeh were in love?” he queried, looking at her.

“I was in love. He wasn’t,” she stated, shrugging her shoulders.

“Why the ‘ell wouldn’t ‘e love yeh? Yeh amazin’, Gray!” he exclaimed. Grayson had to laugh at the irony of his statement. “Oi, why yeh laughin’? ‘S true!”

She shook her head, calming down. “Yeah, if you say so.”

Oliver reached over their chairs, grabbing her hands to hold them between his own. Grayson’s heart soared as he looked into her eyes. “Yeh are amazin’, Gray. Believe meh when I tell yeh that,” he stated with such sincerity that it brought tears to her eyes. She pulled her hands away and wiped her eyes, careful not to smear her make-up. “Why yeh cryin’, love?” he asked softly.

“Because I am just so fucked!” she cried, still wiping at her eyes.

Oliver furrowed his brows at her statement. “I don’ undehstand,” he said sadly.

“And that’s the problem,” she whispered, standing up. “I think it’s time for me to go home.”

“Yeh came 'ere wif Acey and she's been drinkin', Gray.”

She bit her lip, knowing it was the truth. “I’ll find someone else.”

“I’ll take yeh.”

“You’ve been drinking, too,” she argued.

He shook his head. “I’ve been drinkin' coke,” he laughed.

She laughed, too. “Fine. Let’s go.” She walked back into the house with Oliver on her heels, and made her way into the living room, where she found Tom talking to a pretty blond. “I’m leaving. Have fun,” she smiled, giving him a hug.

“Bu' the night’s still young!” he pouted.

Grayson laughed and patted his cheek. “Like I said, have fun.” She reached for her cardigan behind Tom’s head and slipped it on before turning around. “I don’t feel like trying to find Acey, so I’ll just text her when we get to the car.”

Oliver nodded his head and held out his hand. Grayson immediately laced their fingers together and tried not to lose her grip as they shuffled through the room. Once they reached outside, Oliver released her hand and she tried to shove the hurt that caused away. Fortunately, he had gotten much luckier when it came to parking, getting a spot right out front of Lee’s house.

Lee.

She hadn’t seen him all night and she frowned. “I never even got to see Lee.”

Oliver laughed as he unlocked the doors to his car. “’E got taken up wif a bird as soon as the parteh started.”

“Way to go, Malia!” she cheered, making the both of them laugh as they took their seats.

Oliver put the heater on once the car was started and leaned back in his seat, allowing the vehicle to warm up a bit. Just as Grayson felt as if she couldn’t take the silence anymore, Oliver cleared his throat. “’Ave I ‘urt yeh, Grayson?” he asked so seriously that it took her off guard for a moment.

“Of course not. Why do you ask?”

He shrugged, looking at his hands in his lap. “I feel like I’ve done or said somefin’ to ‘urt yeh and I dunno what it is.” He shifted in his seat, locking eyes with her. “But whateveh it is, ‘m sorreh, Gray. I realleh am.”

The morbid tone in his voice made tears prick the corners of her eyes once more, and she turned away from him, slouching down in her seat. “You haven’t done anything to be sorry for, Oli. You haven’t hurt me.” At least not intentionally, she thought, but bit back the words.

“Promise?” She rested her head against the window, a sick feeling blooming in her stomach. She couldn’t say the words he wanted to hear, because it would be a lie. When it came to making promises with each other, they never lied. She could feel his eyes burning into the side of her head. “Yeh can’t, can yeh?” he accused, and a thick, suffocating tension suddenly filled the car.

“Please, just leave it alone, Oli,” she pleaded quietly.

From the corner of her eye, she could see him clenching his jaw. “Can yeh at least tell meh what I did?” Mutely, she shook her head. “Fuckin’ ‘ell, Gray, give meh somefin’!” he said, raising his voice.

She licked her lips, tasting her own salty tears. “I’m sure if you think hard enough, you can figure it out.” Grayson watched as he sat in thought, and silently hoped that he wouldn’t realize what she was talking about. However, when his face fell and his mouth parted into an ‘O’, she knew he had. She couldn’t look at him anymore and opted for staring out of the window instead.

“Gray,” he whispered and she shook her head. “Gray, look at meh,” he tried, but when she didn’t budge, he leaned over the center console, grabbing her face gently. “Yeh know it can’t be like that wif meh and yeh. It just … it can’. Yeh know betteh than anyone ‘ow shit I am in relationships. I always find a way teh fuck it up and I won’t do that to yeh, Gray. I won’ do it,” he pushed, his hazel eyes gazing into her brown ones.

She couldn’t help herself as she began sobbing right in front of him, her whole body trembling. He didn’t get it. He just didn’t fucking get it and that made everything worse. She knew he hated to see her crying, though, and that was the only thing that eventually got her tears to slow. When several moments had passed, she sniffled one last time before finally gazing back into his eyes. “Can I ask you something?”

“Anyfin’,” he offered and she could tell he was just glad that she had stopped crying.

“Do … do you like me?” Grayson questioned, feeling much like a little girl would, but she felt like she had to know. The question had been burning inside of her for months.

Oliver’s grip on her face suddenly didn’t feel so secure and his eyes fell away from hers. “Gray-“

“Just answer the question! It’s a simple yes or no, Oliver!” she yelled, feeling frustrated.

He licked his lips. “Not in tha’ way, Gray. I’m sorreh, but-“ before he could finish his sentence, Grayson had already pushed her door open and ran for the sidewalk, a nauseous feeling sweeping over her.

She fell to her knees and was all too aware that Oliver was suddenly beside her, holding her hair back. Just the touch of his fingers brushing against the skin of her neck made her feel disgusted and the vomit came up all too easily. She cried and shook and continued to be sick all over the sidewalk. Laughter from a group on the lawn rang through her ears and that only made her feel worse.

“Oi, fuck off!” Oliver shouted angrily at them, and with that, their laughter ceased. As she began dry heaving, she felt his hands on her back. “I fink yeh done,” he said quietly, helping her get to her feet. She took off her cardigan, and as disgusting as it was, used the sleeve to wipe her mouth. “C’mon before yeh freeze, Gray.” He helped her back into the car and without another word, they drove away from Lee’s.

Grayson felt as if she were going to be sick with every turn and stop the car made, but she held it back, closing her eyes in hopes to stop the spinning of her head. They came to a stop before Oliver shut the car off and as she opened her eyes, she realized they were in front of his place. She sighed but kept her mouth shut as they made their way inside the warm house.

She had to hold onto the railing to do so, but she climbed the stairs behind Oliver and followed him to his room. Whilst he went to his dresser, she went straight for his bathroom, shutting the door behind her. She washed the make-up off her face and used the toothbrush she kept in Oliver’s cabinet to rid the foul taste in her mouth. She dried her face and threw her sweater to the floor before falling down next to it, leaning her back against the cupboard underneath the sink.

Oliver didn’t want to be with her.

Oliver didn’t even like her.

Tears sprang to her eyes once more and she buried her face in her hands, feeling completely and utterly embarrassed. He hadn’t rejected her just once, but twice and that left a hole in her heart.

“Gray,” he called, knocking on the locked door. “Gray, open the door.”

“I don’t want to see you right now,” she told him, looking at the white wood.

“Don’ be like this, Grayson. Please,” he begged as if he cared and that made Grayson angrier.

She grabbed the soap dish, chucking it at the door. “Fuck off!” she yelled angrily.

“Wha’ the fuck was that!?” She didn’t respond. “What the fuck did yeh frow, Grayson!?” he bellowed, pounding against the door.

She jumped to her feet and pulled the door open hastily. “I told you to fuck off!”

He looked down at the broken soap dish on the tiled floor before looking at her. “Jus’ change inteh these and go teh sleep. We’ll talk in the mornin’,” he sighed, pushing a pair of basketball shorts and a tee shirt into her hands.

He walked out of his room, shutting the door behind him and Grayson cried whilst she changed. She kicked her heap of clothes with her foot and shut the bathroom light off before throwing herself down onto Oliver’s bed. She buried her face in the pillows and when the smell of his skin permeated her nose, she could only cry harder.

“Why do I have to love you?” she asked, despite there being no one to answer her.