Love and Other Lies

My heart hammered in my chest, I was grounded to the floor, an I really about to do this? My first date and he doesn't even know about my past, maybe that's why I like him, he doesn't give me that stupid look, the "i'm so sorry your life really sucks" look. I take a deep breath and look over to my grandma, she smiles and it calms me... until the knock on the door. My whole body grows rigid, my palms grow sweaty. I take another deep breath and open the door. He was wearing a black button up shirt, dark fade-wash jeans and his regular black Vans. He looked amazing, he smiled and my pulse jumped. Stupid heart.

"you ready?" He asked.. i don't know why but he was a little off. Must just be nerves.

"yea" I nervously choked out.

ok, let's go" He said grabbing my hand and leading me to the smooth black car. He helped into the passenger seat and gently closed the door. It felt like ages until he slid in next to me.

"so, where are we going tonight?" I asked.

"surprises" He awkwardly smiled. we didn't talk the rest of the way, he pulled up in front of The Golden Fountain.

"you would" I smiled.

"oh yes, I would" He said opening the door for me and sliding his hand out to help me climb out of the car. We walked in and I rolled my eyes, Kanola had put a candle in the center of the table.

"wow" I admired.

"I thought you might lie it. He smiled helping me into the booth. We ate, him getting something other than my usual, He didn't want the spice surprise again. We thanked Kanola and paid. He helped me back into the car and we took off towards the Casino, we must be going to a movie. It was silent the whole way there. We pulled up and parked. he helped me out of the car again like a gentleman, I could get used to this. It was a bit weird that he was being so quiet. He paid for the tickets and handed me mine. Titanic 3D. My excitement rose. We decided against popcorn and just got a soda to share. He picked front row seats and we settled in, hands brushing one or two times when reaching for the soda. Half way through the movie I leaned into his side to get more comfortable, his arm slinked around my shoulders and I smiled. Towards the end I was holding back tears, I cried every time I watched this movie. It ended and I quickly wiped away the remainder of my tears. he chuckled when the lights came up and he saw that I had been crying. We made it back to the car and he started to take me home. Before reaching the exit he pulled over.

"Why did you stop?" I asked confused.

"why don't you trust me?" He countered.

"what do you mean?" I asked, He looked over to me with tear filled eyes, the light bulb flipped on. I couldn't help the tears that began to fall. "who told you?" I sobbed.

"Does it matter?" He said obviously angry.

"I guess not" I said, voice breaking.

"why. didn't. you. tell. me." He said dangerously close to blowing up.

"I didn't want to looks." I replied not looking up.

"I wouldn't look at you any differently" He said reaching over and grabbing my chin, turning my face to face his. His smile was gentle and his hands were soft. He was gently wiping away my tears with his thumb.

"I'm not worth it" I whispered. I saw the anger rise in his eyes. I tried to look away but his hand tightened on my chin.

"Is that what you think? Is that why you have closed yourself off?" He asked me, his eyes disbelieving. I didn't respond, just let the tears fall and averting my eyes. He let go of my chin and turned the car back on, He pulled onto the exit an drove me home. He came around and helped me out of the car. Before he let me go he locked eyes with me, then wrapped me in a hug, whispering into my ear. "you are worth it" He let me go and walked around the car, looking at me one more time before slipping in and driving away, leaving me to stare after him.