Be Free, Be You

“Did you hear about what happened in the choir room after school yesterday?”

“Valarie totally freaked out! I’ve never seen her so unhinged.”

“Wait, Puck apologized?! Since when does Puckerman apologize for anything?!”

Although I’d stormed out of Glee Club before the confrontation had taken place, completely irritated when I’d found out that Puck had lured me there to talk to my sister instead of trying to find a way to make our relationship work, as he had led me to believe, I easily found out what happened from the story that spread throughout the student body like wildfire.

And I also knew that Stephanie hadn’t done anything. She hadn’t accepted Puck’s apology, she hadn’t made any move to say that she could push her past grudges aside to convince my parents that a relationship with Puck wouldn’t kill anyone. Nothing. She was still the petty little bitch she was when she left, which was exactly why I wanted nothing to do with her.

Taking out as much of my anger as I could, I slammed my locker door shut, startling the girl that was trying to get her books next to me, kneeling down on the cold, hard linoleum in order to reach her unfortunately-placed locker. She dropped a couple of her books on the ground as she squeaked, and I instantly felt awful.

“I’m sorry,” I told her in a soothing voice, biting my lip as I watched her take out a binder and get to her feet.

She shook her head, a violent red blush flooding her face. “No, it’s okay. Don’t worry about it.” And then she scampered back down the hallway like my face had morphed into the ugliest thing she’d ever seen.

Sighing and running a hand through my hair, I made my way down the hallway, ignoring the curious looks and whispers that seemed to follow me everywhere.

Only a few months ago, no one had noticed my existence. I was a plain, nerdy girl that no one bothered to glance at. Kids would bump into me in the hallway and not even realize they hit an obstruction. All it took was a bit of drama to stir things up, a little romp with Puckerman, the knowledge that I was the Valarie Wilson’s sister to get out, and everything exploded into a cloud of attention.

The more I thought about it, the stronger and more demanding the pang in my stomach became. I missed the time where I used to be able to do whatever I wanted without the fear that someone would judge me, look at me strangely, whisper behind my back as I walked down the hallway. Just as always, Valarie had ruined everything for me. With her blood flowing through my veins, it didn’t seem possible that I’d ever be able to live in anonymity.

I slipped into the classroom and sat down beside Tina. She gave me a confused look, probably because she didn't expect to see me in class, but I pretended not to notice.

After the introduction was given, we were told to work with partners and complete the book work, so I shoved my desk up against Tina’s, like everything was perfectly normal, and started to scan the chapter and jot down the answer to the first question.

I was actually starting to get in a zone when I heard Tina’s high-pitched voice invade my mind. “Stephanie!”

“What?” I asked, looking up at her, blinking the trance out of my eyes.

“Are you okay? I mean, after what happened yesterday…” She trailed off her statement, trying to keep some tact, but it really wasn’t working for her. My face immediately turned into a frown as I struggled to keep from snapping.

“I’m fine,” I assured her. “As far as I’m concerned, Val isn’t really my sister now, so whatever she does isn’t my business. And Puck isn’t my boyfriend.”

Tina sucked in a sharp breath, which I tried to ignore as I turned back to my work. The air between us was tense, probably since I’d just disowned my only sibling, someone who I used to honor and respect more than anyone in the entire world. I had a strong feeling that Tina was going to run to Valarie and tattle on me the second she got the chance, but I tried to ignore the reality.

“Steph, don’t you think this is a little…immature?”

My blood started to boil as I turned to her again, and my anger must have been very clear, because she immediately started trying to clean up her statement. “I just mean that she’s your sister. Nothing should come between you guys, right? Not any small arguments over borrowed clothes, grudges over lifestyle choices, and definitely not boys. Can’t you guys just make up already?”

I thought about her words for a second, but I wasn’t able to draw a conclusion before she followed up with, “I mean, this is splitting the Glee Club apart. People are taking sides, and it’s just ridiculous. We had drama before you guys joined, but we never were in danger of falling apart like this. So if you don’t want to make up with your sister for you, do it for the club.”

“Now, if I don’t make up with her, I’m going to seem selfish,” I snapped. “And you guys don’t have to choose sides at all. This is a matter between Artie, Val, Puck, and me, and that’s it. Everyone else can stay out of it.”

I had half a mind of being dramatic, picking up my desk, and slamming it down a few feet away, but I contained myself, not wanting to make too much of a scene. The last thing I wanted was for kids to start talking about how all the drama was making me unhinged.

So instead, I just focused on the book and questions in front of me, ignoring Tina and her repeated sighs altogether and pretending that I wasn’t thinking over and over about the argument Tina had made. Because, although I hated to admit it, she did have some valid points.

I just really wanted Val to make the first move.