We Only Breathe for so Long

To be honest, I felt really awkward when I was squished into the white van. I recall going with John, Garrett and Kennedy and that was just too weird. Now, I have to go to Pat’s house stuck with four males constantly blabbering about tour and equipment. To make matters worse, I was in between Garrett and Pat and we all know how Pat loves to annoy Garrett (Well it looks like it from my point of view).

“Garrett! Why won’t you sit next to me?!” He yelled and pouted. I squirmed even more as Garrett scoffed and returned his attention back to the window. I sighed knowing that I wasn’t going to get out of this situation anytime soon.

Isa, who was true to her words, left our house after saying her goodbyes. Isa was like the best friend that I never had and the sad thing is she left me alone to deal with the guys. I groaned and shuffled some more in the backseat, hoping that Pat would stop grumbling about Garrett being a moody guy.

I sighed and tried to tune all of them out. The tour thing was a little spur of the moment. Once my mom agreed for me to go, Pat practically dragged me outside the house with the guys trailing behind us.

“Pat if you really insist on us sitting next to each other, ask Lisette!” He said. I huffed and glared at Garrett who was looking out the window once again.

Pat looked at me and pouted. I bit my lip and I almost agreed to switch seats, until Garrett nudged me. I let out a soft yelp and stared daggers at him. He shrugged as if he didn’t know why I was looking at him like that. I looked back at Pat and he still had this puppy dog look on his face.

“Can we please switch,Lissy?” What is up with people calling me Lissy?

Garrett stepped on my foot and that is where I drew the line. I silently hissed at him and poked him multiple times causing him to jerk around like an idiot. This caught Pat’s attention. I giggled as Garrett tried to compose himself before any of the guys noticed how red he was from stifling his laughter.

“Why are you red?” Pat inquired causing me to laugh out loud. Jared turned to look at us and noticed this too, chuckling slightly.

“And I thought I was the only one who turned this red,” he commented. Garrett flicked us off and stared out the window. What was so fascinating about the window though? If he was looking outside because of the view, I hardly think that houses that looked the same would be fascinating.

Pat stopped pestering Garrett and I because he started to talk to Jared about cupcakes, which was amusing. John was quiet the whole drive which was something I wasn’t quite used to. He liked to talk and curse out loud, like my previous rides with him. Now, he was as silent as a mouse and I was starting to think this had something to do with Isa but then again, it was none of my business and I could be wrong.

I finally got comfortable in the backseat and I was this close to falling asleep until John stopped the van and Pat and Garrett went out of the vehicle at the same time. My eyes instantly snapped open and I stared in confusion. Unlike the three boys who immediately went inside, Jared waited for me which was really nice of him considering the fact that no one waits for me.

I hopped down from the van and smiled at Jared. I looked up at Pat’s house and whistled in amazement. It wasn’t like John’s house but it was simple and it felt really homey to me. My eyes drifted off to their garage and noticed their instruments lazily sprawled on the floor.

“You practice here too?” I asked.

“Yeah, we don’t like to stay in one place.” I nodded.

We walked up to the wooden door which was already left open, beckoning us to go inside. Jared gestured for me to before him and couldn’t help but think that he was being so gentlemanly today. I hope there wasn’t any catch.

Since I wasn’t sure where we were supposed to go, Jared went in front of me leading me to the living room. Garrett and John took up all the space on the couch while Pat and, I’m guessing his brother, Tim sat on the beanbags. Jared managed to convince Garrett to move for him so sit while I was left awkwardly standing near the doorway.

“Sit here!” Pat screamed, gesturing to another beanbag beside him. I walked over to him and sat on the bright yellow beanbag. If I had to choose between the couch and this, I would really sit on the beanbag instead because I don’t want to get stuck between two guys ever again.

The beanbag slumped over my weight, causing me to shift uncomfortably until I found a good position. I twirled a strand of my hair out of boredom and watched the guys bicker over what show to watch. I scrunched my eyebrows and turned to Pat who was quietly discussing things with his brother. I was sure he was Pat’s brother because they looked so alike. Not like identical twins of course.

Tim finally cleared his throat causing four heads to turn. I was included and was absolutely curious over their discussion. “We’re going on tour with All Time Low and A Rocket to the Moon…it’ll start in three weeks. It’s just a few shows since it’s not us who are going to be headlining this tour. What do you say?”

The guys contemplated over this. They were discussing how long it’ll be with Tim and where they will perform. I listened attentively even though I’m not going to go with them. Tim waited patiently while I crossed my legs and stared of into the distance.

“You’re Lisette right?” I jumped back to reality and glanced at Tim who was eying me curiously.

“Yes.” I replied.

“The guys won’t stop talking about you. Especially Kennedy.” He shook his head then laughed. I raised my eyebrows and looked down at my feet. Kennedy talks about me? And here I thought all he ever talks about was Jordan.

A phone started to ring and all of us took out our phones to see if it was ours. It was Garrett’s phone that interrupted the guys’ deliberation. He excused himself from the group and took the phone call near a corner. He talked in hushed tones before returning to the guys. “It’s Kennedy.”

I sat up and looked at the phone curiously. Garrett put it on loudspeaker and then Kennedy’s voice filled the room.

“Hey guys.” I huffed and looked away. I felt some kind of prickling on my skin and when I turned to look back at the guys Garrett’s eyes met mine and there was a smirk on his face. I groaned out loud and Tim gave me a curious glance.

“You alright?”

“Peachy.” I mumbled. The smirk on Garrett’s face was getting on my nerves and the reason was still unknown. I guess I was getting sick of seeing it all the time.

“Kennedy what are your thoughts on going on tour this summer?” John asked the boy on the other line. I anticipated his reply and knew that he’d agree right away since he loves his band and their fans and what not. He didn’t reply right away though, which made me think if the line was cut.

“Sure. I don’t see any problems about going on tour.” The guys started to talk, even if Kennedy was only on the phone, about their plans and before I knew it Tim left the beanbag and was already telling the guys about the venues and the dates. At this point I felt like I wasn’t really needed there since it was all tour talk and I should have just went with Isa and helped her study. Yeah I’ll just go tell the guys that I’d be going to Isa’s instead.

I carefully stood up and walked over to the guys who were still chatting about their upcoming tour. I cleared my throat and shifted uneasily. All of them looked at me with curious faces and I gulped.

“I’m gonna…um go now.” I said in a small voice.

Pat pouted and immediately went over to me telling me that I should never leave him. He squeezed the life out of me while I gently coaxed him by saying I was just going to be at home. Well either I was at home or at Isa’s. Jared and John said their goodbyes and I waved at them. Garrett was giving me a knowing look but I shook it off. They had to talk about this tour and I don’t really want to be a hindrance.

“How are you going to get home exactly?” Garrett popped in.

“Uh…” There goes Garrett for ruining all of my plans.

“Is that Lisette?” Kennedy’s voice filled the air and I was fidgeting around. I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. The guys were looking at me expectantly as if they were waiting for me to do something, anything.

“Hey Kennedy.” I managed to spurt out those words and I could feel all of them let out a breath.

“How come I didn’t hear your voice?” I rolled my eyes and looked at the guys all round me.

“I’m stuck with a bunch of girls who can’t stop talking.” He chuckled at my remark and a whirlwind of happiness flood through me. My humor is finally being understood.

“You’ll get used to them…” I crossed my arms and looked at their faces and shook my head, a small laugh escaping my lips.

“I hardly think so.”

“I promise you will. Oh yeah, about coffee the next day…” Oh crap this is getting awkward. The guys started to look all around the house except at the phone and my red face. Garrett was the only one who kept stealing glances and this time, there was not a smirk on his face except a smile.

“Just call me later about the details…like I said. A bunch of girls are here with me and they just love gossip.” I raised my eyebrows at them and gave them a warm smile, which also equaled to a threat. Kennedy chuckled and told me to wait for his call later on. I said my greetings to him and the guys. As much as I wanted to stay and chat with Kennedy, talking with him with the guys in the room wasn’t exactly comforting.

I backed away from the group until I remembered that I had no transportation to bring me back home. My eyes locked with John and I silently pleaded him to take me home. He fumbled with hands for a bit and groaned.

“I’ll just take Lisette home.” The guys agreed and told us to be safe. I walked back to the front door, my arms swinging from side to side in an attempt to look composed and natural. I felt John’s presence right behind me and I could tell he wasn’t in a good mood.

The white van was still sitting there in all its glory, waiting for us. I crossed the lawn and waited near the van, watching John strode over to where we were. He was lean and lanky and his green eyes shone in the light. He slipped on his black shades which instantly covered them. There was a slight hop in his step which was a little odd to say the least.

“Get in.” I was taken aback by the urgency in his voice. A scowl made its way up to my face while I hesitantly followed his order. The passenger seat was a little more comfortable than the back seat since the leather was softer and this time I had all the space to myself. John came in a few seconds later with the keys in his hand. The engine revved to life and before I knew it, the Kirch’s residence was only a dot.

I shifted in my seat and looked out the window. I bit my lip and knew that I didn’t want to go home this time. “Hey John?” My voice sounded small and fragile, like I was that sick girl who was in a hospital her whole life.

“Yeah?” He kept his eyes on the road and he was awfully quiet.

“Can you uh…bring me to Isa’s instead?” My voice quivered slightly and I kept my gaze on the window. I’d rather not see the look on his face once I mentioned her name but curiosity got the best of me. I turned just a little bit to get a small peek at his face and what I saw was a stern expression and a clamped mouth. His hands gripped the wheel harder and I suddenly felt scared. This was a white van and this is John and…there’s a possibility I might die earlier than expected.

“I-if that’s okay with you! If not then um we can just go to my house…” I exclaimed, throwing my hands up in the air. I bit my lip softly and felt bad. I don’t know I just felt bad about bringing Isa up when John’s apparently not on good terms with her right now.

I slumped back on my seat and buried my face in my hands. I don’t know why I was getting so emotional today but I guess this means I was going to get my period soon…

“No…it’s alright.” John mumbled. I looked up at him and there was still a hard expression on his face but his knuckles loosened their grip on the wheel.

“Okay…” I replied still not sure if this was a good idea. The drive was longer than usual and we already passed by my lonely little house, as well as Kennedy’s. The sky was turning dark and I couldn’t help but wonder if it was going to rain. The van stopped in front of a house with a red roof and a well-kept lawn. I didn’t go down just yet because I wanted to ask John one last thing before leaving.

“John…are you really mad at Isa?” I asked, my voice shaking a little bit. My hand was already on the handle and I was poised to dash out and make a run for it if ever John gets a tantrum.

He ran a shaky hand through his hair and kept his eyes on the road in front of him, not glancing at the house beside us. I looked up at the clouds and noticed the gray pigments here and there. Thunder bellowed causing me to jump from my seat. It was going to rain a bucket of tears.

“I’m just…confused, that’s all.” He mumbled and gave me a sad smile. His eyes were sincere and I knew just by the look of it that he never wanted the fight to happen in the first place. I could have comforted him but I didn’t know what to say and it really wasn’t my call.

“You’ll figure it out.” I replied and patted his shoulder. I got out of the van and waved at him. I turned around and saw Isa’s blond head peering from the window. The curtains were slightly drawn and her eyes were locked on the white van that drove away. They turned to me and the next thing I knew, the door was open. I shivered involuntarily and crossed the lawn in hopes of finding warmth inside the house. When it rained, the weather became topsy-turvy.

My floorboards creaked under my feet, the eerie sound enveloping my ears. Isa held the door open, looking down at her blue slippers. Her hair was tied up in a messy bun and a pair of black-framed glasses sat on the bridge of her nose. I sighed and went inside, wiping my shoes on the rug beneath me. Isa gently shut the door behind me and hastily grabbed my arm and pulled me towards the couch. The coffee table in front of her was sprawled with books about interior design. At least she knows what she wants to do with her life.

“Why were you with John?” She asked hurriedly, her blue eyes shining with immense curiosity.

“A simple hello would be nice.” I replied, gingery picking up her History Book. Isa rolled her eyes and snatched the book away from my hands. The sound of thunder rang in our ears causing the both of us to cringe.

“Tell me already!” She groaned as she crossed her arms and pouted at me. I sighed and placed the thick paperback beside me.

“I just needed a ride that’s all.” I muttered. I was well aware that Isa is “mad” at John but the fact that she insists on knowing what I was doing with him aroused suspicion within me. I raised my eyebrow and picked up another book about color schemes and furniture. I flipped it open in attempt to keep myself preoccupied.

“Oh.” She muttered, scratching the back of her head nervously. “That was nice of him I guess…” I looked up from the book I was scanning and noticed how her eyes fell and the way her mouth was curved. Maybe I should tell her about John being a little…baffled.

“I asked him if he was mad you.” I said while delicately closing the book. I laid it back on the table at a proper angle and glanced at Isa whose eyes lit up. Her feet were now on the couch itself and she was rocking back and forth, patiently waiting for me to go on.

“He said he was confused…”I trailed off and watched her face contort into something peculiar. “But I really think the two of you should talk about it.” I added. She snapped her head up and glared at me. I shrugged and sat crossed leg on the couch.

“I’d rather not.” She simply said and stood up, stretching her arms. At this point in our conversation, the thunder stopped rolling and rains started pouring. The pitter-patter sent chills down my spine but I ignored it. She walked across the room before disappearing into what I assumed was the kitchen. The living room had dull gray walls and the floor was made of wood. The inside of the house was like the weather…it was a little sad and grim but I guess they chose the color because if it was yellow, it’d be too bright.

Isa came back with a tub of ice cream and two spoons in her hands. The rain raged on but it seemed far away. She handed me the cool silver spoon, reflecting my face in a weird way. She opened the tub and placed it in her arms and motioned for me to dig in. I was hesitant at first since it was raining and I didn’t want to intrude but who could resist cookies and cream ice cream?

We ate in silence before I spoke up with a spoonful of ice cream in my mouth. “Where’re your parents?” I mumbled but it was strangled by the metal spoon inside my mouth. Isa shrugged beside me and grabbed the remote from the table, switching tv channels until she decided to watch Jersey Shore.

“Dad’s on a business trip while my mom took my sister to god knows where.” She dug into the tub once again and ate more of the ice cream. She seemed to abandon her studies when I arrived.

“Should I get going? You are studying after all…” Isa laughed and shook her head.

“It’s fine really. I’m guessing going to Pat’s house wasn’t that fun? Whenever tour comes up they basically ignore the outside world and talk all about it.” She said, swinging her spoon in the air.

“Is that why you didn’t come?” I asked while my eyes were glued to Snooki going all dramatic. I rarely watched these reality shows but I felt lazy and up to no good today so I might as well feed my brain irrelevant knowledge.

“That,” She pointed with her spoon and then to the books on the table. “and to study.” I rolled my eyes and ate more ice cream. I was going to have a brain freeze.

“Right and how’s that going for you?” She sighed and took out the clip holding her hair in the first place.

“Not so good.” I nodded and felt a tingling sensation coming from my butt. I gasped and stood up immediately, fishing out my phone before it could tickle me some more.

“You’re not supposed to put it on vibrate, silly.” Isa commented. I stuck out my tongue and answered the call.

“Lisette here.”

“Hey! It’s me Kennedy. I called for…uh the coffee plans.” I felt frozen and turned around to Isa who was watching me with intense eyes. I gulped and brought my attention back to the phone that was mimicking Kennedy’s voice.

“Right so um…where exactly?” Kennedy chuckled on the other line and I couldn’t help but think how much it made me smile. I shifted my weight from foot to foot while walking around the room in circles. I didn’t even know I was doing this until Isa pointed it out to me with a knowing smirk.

“I was thinking on going to Morning Light...how does that sound?”

“Uh…hold on for a sec.” I said and looked at Isa who was smiling like a total idiot. Her legs were curled up and the tub was abandoned on the lone table. She raised her eyebrows when I turned to her, clearly not expecting for the actress to look at her audience.

“Do you know where the Morning Light is?” I mouthed at her. Her eyes widened and she slapped her leg, stifling her laughter.

“Yes! Go on! Keep talking to him! Don’t mind me!” She yelled, grinning widely. I groaned and went back to the phone.

“Was that Isa?” I laughed nervously and paced across the room again.

“Yeah…” He chuckled softly again. He cleared his throat and I could just imagine him being flustered since someone was overhearing a one-sided conversation.

“So…tomorrow then? I’ll pick you at up at your house around eight. Is that okay?” I nodded vigorously until I realized that he couldn’t see me and I have just made a complete fool of myself in front of Isa.

“Yeah I mean…why not?” I stumbled over my words which caused Kennedy, plus Isa, laughing. I sighed and grabbed the nearest thing I could get a hold of, which was Tootsie Roll pillow, and hurled it towards Isa. It smacked her face flat and once it fell, she had a grimace on her face.

“Alright I’ll see you tomorrow, Lisette.” I knew that this convo was going to end but some part of me wanted to talk to him more. I shook myself and kicked that malevolent thought away.

“Bye Kennedy.” He ended the call and without warning, a smile was plastered on my face. I suddenly felt giddy without reason and when I faced Isa again she had buried herself in a book that was turned upside down. I tucked the phone in my back pocket and meticulously approached her. I sat down on the soft couch and brought my knees closer to my face.

“I see you’ve got a date with Mr. Brock tomorrow.” She commented, her eyes scanning the page. I doubt she was even paying attention to it.

I shrugged and closed my eyes for a brief moment. The rain turned into a soundless drizzle. Isa started humming a song I didn’t know while I continued to think about her words and that’s when I snapped and got back to my senses.

“W-what?! I-it’s not a date!” I stuttered, feeling my cheeks go hot. She laughed and put down the book.

“Wow you were such in a daze, Lissy. I can’t believe you.” She laughed even more and got the tub of ice cream and resumed her diabetic diet. I rolled my eyes and slumped back again on the couch.

“Why can’t you believe me?” I muttered while she cocked her head to the side with a knowing smile on her face.

“How long will it take for you to figure it out?” She asked inquisitively. I groaned in frustration, throwing my hands up in the air for effect.

“Why do I get the feeling that you and Garrett are a bunch of know it alls?!” I ranted, glaring at her with enough passion. She waved her hand as if my anger had no effect on her at all. It lowered my self-esteem and that just hurt.

“That’s because we are.”