We Only Breathe for so Long

LISETTE

Kennedy threw himself back on the couch. He covered his hand as he was processing what he just heard and then put his head in his hands. I should have brought tissue with me, I’m pretty sure I looked like a wreck right now. The tears just kept on falling from my eyes as I suddenly remembered what happened on that fateful day.

“Lisette!” the voice on the phone said. I was lying on my hospital bed, waiting for something that would take me away from all the boredom I was experiencing.

“Jordan! Yeah?” I was grinning. Probably Jordan had something good to tell me. Whatever, like I said, I was bored of being bored. I was in the hospital because some disease infected me. Not a big deal; this happens to me all the time.

“I got my driver’s license!”

“That’s great! I’m so proud of you! Over-the-phone hug!” I screamed back into the phone. Now she can drive me wherever I want when I get well.

“Over-the-phone hug! Oh, and I got you something too. I’m going there in a while. And I’ll be driving myself!” she said with excitement in her voice.

“Thanks, Jordan! I’ll see you in a bit,” I said and hung up. I was already feeling jumpy while in my bed.

If I knew that that was going to be the last conversation I was ever going to have with her, I would have persuaded her to never leave the condominium.

I knew Jordan was an excellent driver. She freaking aced her exam. She got into an accident because some drunk guy drove across the intersection while the stop light was red. It just so happened that it had to be my dear twin sister in the car. It just so happened that it had to be her who was affected by the collision. Why, of all the people did it have to be her? Was the timing so perfect that it resulted to her death? Why?

When my mom came in to tell me Jordan was in the hospital, I was ecstatic. That is until she brought me along with her and saw her on another hospital bed…

I didn’t notice Kennedy sit down beside me. He started to let tears fall from his eyes. He excused himself and went to get some tissue for the both of us. I was still sobbing by the time he stopped. I guess that hole in my heart just can never be patched up again. Without a word, Kennedy just hugged me and I continued to cry in his arms. I hardly even know this guy. Moments later, I finally stopped. He got up to get me another glass of water and I gladly finished it.

“Thanks, Kennedy. I’m sorry,” I said. My throat was so dry. Kennedy was soaked with my tears, but he didn’t even seem to mind a bit.

“Hey, there’s nothing you should be sorry about,” he said. I could tell his throat was as dry as mine. I suddenly felt embarrassed. I just cried in front of a guy and ruined his shirt. This deserves an A+ on my card for ace-ing the “I can now die of embarrassment” subject.

We sat without exchanging any more words. Kennedy sighed and leaned back on the couch, slouching. I folded up the yellowish piece of paper I dropped on the table face down and slipped it into my pocket.

“Hey, you know, uh, I never really caught your name,” he chuckled. I could tell he was still sad over the news, but he did lighten up the air a bit.

“My name’s Lisette,” I managed to smile a little but it felt wrong on my mouth.

“Well, it’s nice to finally meet you, Lisette,” he held out his hand and I shook it firmly. As we pulled back, he smiled back at me, probably because I looked like a total mess.

“I’m glad we know each other now,” I sniffled then gave a small laugh.

“I have another question though.”

“Yeah?” Why do you keep asking questions?

“Is there any chance I could visit her? I, uh, never got to say goodbye to her. Well, I did, before you guys moved to Philadelphia, but uh–“ He looked pretty awkward saying all of this which was pretty funny.

“I get the point,” I chuckled. “She was buried here in Tempe.”

“Uh, do you have any plans for later today?”

“No, I don’t.”

“Well, then, can we go to her now?”

I thought about it for a bit and nodded. “Yeah, I’d really like that,” I sighed and we both got up. I grabbed the photo album and wrapped my arms around it. We then headed out of the house and boarded his car.

~~~

“Uhm, hey there, Jordan,” Kennedy started. We were standing in the dome, which contained my sister’s grave. My parents spent a lot of money to make this place beautiful and I was in full favor for that to happen. The sun was blazing and its rays were hitting the roof of the dome, unable to get to us.

“Hey there, Sis,” I called out to her grave. The marker was made out of marble and her name was intricately written on it with gold streaks. The gold was a bit overboard though but I couldn’t argue since this was my sister after all.

Jordan Louise Monroe
November 15, 1988 – May 24, 2005

“So hi, Jordan. Well, I just found out about what happened. Honestly, I’m lost for words. So I’ll just try my best,” he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “I just… I’m sorry. I’m really sorry that I never gave it my all to keep in touch with you while you were in Philadelphia. I’m sorry that I wasn’t there whenever you needed me. I know that I wasn’t really the greatest best friend once can ever have, but I’m happy you still called me your best friend after all these things I’ve done. And then now, you’re gone. I didn’t even get to attend your burial. Knowing you, you’d help me get through my sadness. But you’re gone, so what can I do?” he let some tears fall down his cheek. I rubbed his back to give him some comfort. He sniffled and mumbled thanks to me. I didn’t know that he would be this emotional towards my sister. I actually felt quite thankful for him.

Kennedy took another deep breath and continued on. “Thanks for everything, Jordan. I’ll never forget all the memories, from the time we were fighting over that Lego block, all up to the those small talks we had while you were in Philadelphia. I seriously wish I could have been a better friend. Thank you so much. I’ll never forget you. You’ll always be my best friend, Jordan.” He walked up to the grave and stroked its cool, marble surface. He then took his place beside me.

I bit my lip and wondered if I should really do this but decided to just go with it. “Hey, Jordan… Mom and I made it back to Arizona and I’m better than ever. Right now, I just can’t seem to cope with what happened anymore. This place just brings back too many memories. I wished you could have made it back here with Mom and me. I wish you could have seen Kennedy again. I just wish you were here, back with us.” I closed my eyes for a while.

After a while, I opened my eyes. “I showed Kennedy your purple photo album today. And look what I found.” I then got the piece of paper out of my pocket. My hands were shaking as I did this and I hoped that it would just stop. I didn’t want to look weak in front of my own sister.

“It’s my bucket list,” I could feel some tears in my eyes. “I can’t believe you stole it from my diary,” I laughed and the tears fell down on the marble floor.

“And I can’t believe you pledged that you’d finish it for me in case anything goes wrong. It says here that’s all that you wanted to do in life. And I understand now.

“If that’s what you wanted to do in life, then I’ll do it for you. I promise, Jordan, I’ll complete my bucket list. This is for both you and me.”

“And I promise to help as well. I’ll do it for both you and Jordan,” Kennedy turned to me and smiled. I stopped moving and took a peek at Kennedy. It was kind of him to help me do this. I smiled back and wiped the tears off my eyes.

“Remember that promise circle you told me about, Jordan? Heck, we could make one now if you were here.” I laughed, remembering that moment she told me about it.

“I’m glad she told you about that. I helped make that up.” Kennedy turned to me and we just laughed. Kennedy and I linked arms together, but we left some space for Jordan, as if she was there with us.

“Kennedy and I promise to complete this bucket list.” And the deal was set. I stifled a laugh and looked at Kennedy. “Looks like we brought a crying fest here.” He nodded and grinned.

“So there, Jordan. We have to get going. We’ll visit again.” Kennedy smiled at the grave. I waved goodbye and we turned around and went out of the dome. I was careful to not step on any flowers in our path. Roses are beautiful, at the same time dangerous.

~~~

“Can I ask another question?” Kennedy asked. We were driving home and the ride was getting pretty quiet.

“You just did.” I replied and gave a smile.

“Jordan pledged that she’d complete your bucket list if anything wrong happens to you. What was the wrong that could have happened to you?”

I felt his stare on me but decided to shrug it off. Telling him more of my past would be a bother. “Uh, well, you don’t need to mind that. That was in the past.”

He glanced at me quickly with a skeptical look then kept his eyes on the road. “Alright, then.”

It grew quiet once again. I was looking out at the window as the sun was setting down.

“Well, thanks for everything, Lisette.”

“Anytime.” I said and tapped the windows a bit. “So, when do you want to get this bucket list thing started?” I asked, as he pulled over in front of my house.

“Let us have an official meeting regarding this tomorrow.” He then laughed as he stared at the house. “Ah, I remember seeing Jordan step off the porch on the way to school.”

“I can imagine.” I smiled back at him. “Does 1 o’clock sound good to you?”

“Yeah, it’s perfect.”

“Alright then, see you tomorrow,” I said as I opened the car door.

“See you, Lisette!” he called just before I shut it. I rang the doorbell of my house as Kennedy maneuvered his car to turn around and drove away to his house.