I Must Be Blind, to Not Have Seen the Signs

It was one of those mornings where you woke up and had no idea who you were or who you were. After a few seconds I realised I was laying on the sofa and josh was sleeping softly next to me, his arms around my middle. We must have fallen asleep watching TV or something.

This was not the first time I had woken up in josh’s arms and the first thought that popped into my head that morning was me hoping it wouldn’t be the last.

Okay so I felt like a right slut right after since I’d only finished with Henry the same week, but Josh had always been a bit special to me since the day I met him. We had that instant attraction and connection that I’d never had with anyone before. Not even Henry.

He was a good looking guy; let’s not beat around the bush. I’d thought it since I’d first set my eyes on him. I remember that day like it was yesterday. The way whenever he touched me I felt like I couldn’t do anything but revel in the feeling. I probably fell for him that first day but I’d been denying it. I had Henry and unlike, when I was with someone that was it.

I looked over at the sleeping boy, feeling his chest move against me as he breathed. He looked so peaceful, much like he had that very first time we fell asleep in each others arms. I wanted to just reach out and trace his features but I didn’t want to wake him.

A few seconds later though his eyes fluttered and open. A small smile tugged on the corners of his lips and he tightened his grip around me slightly.

“Morning” I whispered and his smile got a tiny bit bigger.

“Morning” he whispered back in the most sexy morning voice I had ever heard. “I didn’t mean to sleep over” he said a bit louder and chuckled lightly after.

“Don’t worry about it, not like it’s the first time” I winked and he just laughed before pressing his lips ever so lightly to my forehead.

“I guess we should get up” he sighed and I nodded before we both untangled ourselves form each other and sat up.

“You wanna cuppa or something?” I asked and he nodded so I went into the kitchen and make us two cups and went back to him. “So you got anything planned for today?”

“A few meetings, nothing too exciting. You?”

“I think I’m gonna have a tidy up” I said looked around the room. It was a tad messed up to say the least. Josh looked around to and smiled before placing his cup of the table.

“I better get off” he said standing up and I stood with him and walked him to the door. Before he opened it though, he turned around and took me into his arms.

I held onto him tightly and he held me back with the same force before he pulled back slightly so he could look at me.

“You need anything, just call me, yeah? Even if you’re just upset or whatever, I don’t want you being alone.”

“Okay” I whispered feebly. My god I didn’t deserve him.

“I’ll call you later love” he said before kissing my cheek and leaving.

I had no idea why he was being so nice to me. Not that I was complaining, but I felt like I didn’t deserve it. I decided just to go with it anyway.

I gathered up all the washing from the lounge and took it to the kitchen before going back to the lounge to tidy up. I was just dusting off some picture frames when I came across a picture of Henry and me. It was taken about 4 months ago at a friend’s party and I was sat on his lap with his arms around me.

We looked so happy together. We were happy together. I don’t understand why he would want to go and ruin everything we had together.

I could feel the tears burning behind my eyes but I forced then back and placed the picture back. But looking around the room I now noticed all the things that reminded me of him. I didn’t need them laying around taunting me so I went and grabbed an old box before going around the house and picking up all of his stuff so I could give it back to him.

In the end there was a mug with a picture of the two of us on, 3 tee’s a hoody and some pictures of us. I took them out of the frames though. I didn’t see why he got those.

Then there was just the little problem of the stuff he had given me. Right now I didn’t want anything to do with him, but what happened in a few months when the anger had faded and I didn’t have anything to remember my first love by?

In the end I just shoved all the teddies and CD’s and jewellery into the box and then put it by the front door before I carries on putting everything away.

I’d finished what I needed to and was nursing my second tea of the day when I heard a neck at the door. I heaved myself up off of the sofa and opened the door without checking who it was first.

Big mistake.

It was Henry. I tried shutting the door on his but he pushed it back and stood in the doorway so it wouldn’t shut.

“Please just listen” he pleaded “I’ve come to say I’m sorry”

“Yeah well it’s a bit late for that buddy. Just get out”

“No, we need to talk about this. I know I fucked up big time but I never saw you. I got so lonely”

“You never made the effort” I said exasperatedly. “I tried to make time so don’t blame me. I looked down at the box next to the door and picked it up. Henry gave me a curious look before I forced it into his arms. “This is yours. Just take it and leave me alone”

“Pip please”

“No I’ve had enough now. I’m tired of all of this so please just go”

He just stared at me for a while before walking away. I had an urge to call josh but I didn’t want it to look like I was dependent on him so I just curled up on the sofa and tried to distract my thoughts with whatever was on the TV.

Now that his stuff was gone hopefully he would get the message and leave me alone like I wanted. Just seeing him gave me all these feelings that I didn’t want resurfacing. Who the hell did he think he was coming here and pretty much blaming me for him cheating.

I was done with Henry and that was final.