I Must Be Blind, to Not Have Seen the Signs

I’d done it. I’d told her how I felt.

Well in some sense of the words I had. If she understood the vagueness of the statement then yeah I’d told her. By the blush that took over her face I’m guessing she got it.

“W-what?” she asked and I had to resist the urge to kiss her cause she looked absolutely adorable when she was confused.

“You asked why I wasn’t with the girl I like, but I am”

“But you’re here with me…”

“Exactly”

She blushed harder and I couldn’t take it anymore, so I dipped my head and placed my lips against hers.

Sometime’s you create these little things in your mind of how you want things to be and you expect things to feel. I was hoping it would be all cliché and romantic, but Pip seemed to be unresponsive.

She just sat their frozen, so I pulled back and looked at her face. There was shock written all over it, and I got this weird feeling in my gut that I’d made a mistake, so I moved away slowly. She didn’t respond to that either. She just sat frozen, her eyes blank and body stiff. Rejection inscribed over her features.

“And this is why I didn’t want to tell you” I said getting up and grabbing my coat. “I’m just gonna go cause I feel like a right wanker now” I said before walking to her door.

“Josh wait” she said getting up, but I stopped her before she could say anymore.

“No Pip, its fine. This is my fault. I told them that not saying anything would be better because you didn’t feel the same, and it would just make things awkward. But hey, its whatever, it doesn’t even matter now”

“Josh ple-“

“Don’t make this worse please” I cut her off. There was a part of me that told me I should let her explain, but my ego was bruised enough so I just left, shutting the door.

I walked as quickly as I could out of her apartment building and to the train station that wasn’t that far away. My train was leaving in like a minute which was handy so I walked down the platform a bit and got on the train about halfway down. As soon as I stepped on, the doors closed and the train began to move a few seconds after. I found a seat on the train, which wasn’t hard since there were only a handful of people on it because it was so late at night.

About one minute later I felt someone sit down next to me, and when I looked over I was face to face with a very breathless and flushed Pip.

“You didn’t let me finish” she said, her chest rising and falling quickly.

“You ran after me?” I asked stupidly. Of course she did or else she wouldn’t be here. It made me feel a smidge better that she had come after me, but that pang of rejection was still sitting to uncomfortably fresh in my chest.

“Yes, but that doesn’t matter. What matters is that I freaked out for no reason when really…” she trailed off and I raised an eyebrow at her.

“When really what?”

She let out a breath and gulped before grabbing hold of my neck kissing me forcefully. It occurred to me at first that she was just kissing me because she felt bad about what had happened at her place. But I kissed her back anyway.

It was like she was the missing puzzle piece, and we fit together perfectly. After a few seconds she wound her arms around my neck so we could be closer together and I put my hands on her hips, bringing her further onto my lap.

We pulled apart breathless, and I pecked her lips a few more times before resting my forehead against hers.

I’ve wanted to do that since I first looked at you” she whispered, and the smile on her face made me want to kiss her all over again.

“Then what happened at your place?” I asked, pulling away so I could look at her. She pursed her lips a little before looking right into my eyes.

“I was in shock I guess. You remember that first day we met? It was like every time you touched me you set my skin alight. But there was Henry in the way and I knew I had to suppress whatever it was I was feeling for you because of him. And then he cheated on me and that sucked. But you were there, and you made me okay again” she said. “I just, I’ve never felt this way before.” She whispered. “and I didn’t think you felt the same way back. I thought you were being friendly. I mean you could have any girl you like, and I was just trying to save myself the embarrassment.”

“Well there was no need too. I was so scared that you didn’t feel like I did, so I didn’t say anything. I wish I’d said something earlier”

“I guess well have to make up for lost time then” she winked before leaning over and kissing me again.

“Sorry for running out before” I whispered against her lips, but she just smiled and kissed me again.

“I’m sorry for freezing up on you. I was just so surprised. Like I never imagined it was me you were talking about when you said you liked someone. I was all ready to hate this person because I thought you were leaving me.”

“I’d never leave you” I whispered, and kissed her forehead.

The train stopped and I realised we were at my station so I quickly got us up and we ran off the train just in time. I took her hand and led her up the platform.

“Stay with me tonight. It’s late and I don’t want you going back on your own”

“Okay” she said shyly so I leaned down and kissed her again.

“I like being able kiss when I feel like it” I told her and she blushed a deep shade of red.

“Me too” she chuckled and slid her arm around my waist.

We walked back to my place and silently went to my room. I lent her some stuff to sleep in and we laid there for a few minutes until I plucked up the courage to ask her something I’d wanted to you’re a while.

“Pip?”

“Yeah?” she said looking up at me.

“So are we like together now?” I said. “Wait no I didn’t wanna say that, I meant like can we, or no tha-“

She cut me off with a kiss and I felt her smiling against my lips.

“Yes, I’ll go out with you josh” she giggled.

My whole body felt light. I swear I was falling for her more with each second that passed. And that was fine, because I could tell by the look in her eyes, even in the dark with just the slightest light from the moon leaking through, that she felt the same.

And that’s all that mattered really.