Stuck in the "Friend Zone"

“Hey Jack, I’m leaving work now so I’ll be there in 10 to 15 minutes! : )”
I took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. My stomach was doing back flips and my leg wouldn’t stop bouncing. Tonight was the date with Ben and needles to saw I was nervous. After high school I figured relationships “weren’t for me.” Then I spent several years avoiding my emerging sexuality and attraction towards Alex, so it had been a long time.
I stood up from the couch and began to pace back and forth. My stomach was so full of nerves that I was terrified I was about to throw up all over the floor.
Ben had decided to plan the date so I didn’t know what to expect and the suspense was killing me. Finally my phone buzzed with a text from Ben and I ran out of the apartment barely remembering to lock the door behind me.

“Are you going to tell me what we’re planning on doing tonight?” I asked as I got into the car.
“Nope.” Ben replied, starting the car and driving out of the car park.
“Oh come on, why not?”
“Because surprises are fun!” Ben exclaimed.
“Looks like I’m just going to guess.”
“Just because you start guessing doesn’t mean I’ll answer.”
“Will it involve food?” I asked.
“I don’t know, maybe.”
“Does it involve running around?”
“Maybe, did you dress to run?” Ben retorted.
“Is it nearby?”
“That’s all relative. Nearby for me could be far away for you and vise versa.” He countered.
“Can’t you just give me one word?” I begged.
“Fine, I’ll give you one word relating to tonight.” Ben relented, “Brinner.”
“What?”
“Brinner.” Ben repeated.
“Is brinner even a word?” I asked.
“You’d be surprised at what is and isn’t a word these days. Also you can’t look it up on your phone.” He said, as I reached for my phone in my pocket.
“Damn it.”
“Come on Jack. It’s not that hard of a clue.” Ben teased.
“But brinner isn’t a word!” I reminded him.
“Well I guess you have to wait and see what we’re doing then.”
I didn’t have long to wait however because we soon pulled into a half full parking lot of a restaurant and my jaw dropped when I saw the sign. “The Pancake House.”
“Brinner! Now I get it, breakfast for dinner I’m so stupid.”
“It’s okay, I thought brinner would be a dead giveaway. But I guess not.” Ben said, climbing out of the car.
We entered the restaurant that was mostly full of families with small children.
“Good evening, how many will there be tonight?” The woman at the counter asked.
“Just the two of us tonight.” Ben answered.
“Okay, walk this way please.” The woman replied as she grabbed two menus on the counter.
She sat us down in a booth towards the back of the restaurant where not so many people were sitting.
“Someone will bring you water in a moment.” She began to turn away, but I stopped her.
“Hey, could you bring a pack of crayons please?” I asked.
“Umm, sure.” She said, giving me a strange look.
I turned back to look at Ben, who was giving me a quizzical look.
“Yes, I am 22 and I still like to draw at restaurants.”
The greeter came back and handed me a small packet of crayons “Thank you.”
She just smiled at me in return.
“Would you like to turn this blank paper tablecloth into a masterpiece?” I asked Ben, handing him a blue crayon.
“Why the hell not.” Ben replied, smiling at me.
We began to draw all over the paper only stopping to order our food.
“What are you drawing?” I asked Ben, as we waited for our food.
“A little blue guy.” Ben answered.
“Did he live in a blue world?” I asked smirking.
“Yes, with a blue house, and blue little window, and a blue corvette.” Ben quoted. His face broke out into a grin at his own joke.
I grinned back, a giggle slipping from my lips.
Ben stared at me for a moment then said: “You have a nice laugh, Jack.”
“Thanks, Ben.” I replied, smiling at him softly.
“And a nice smile.” He added.
My smile spread a little wider “Thank you.”
“Alright, a full order of chocolate chip pancakes, extra whipped cream and an omelet with ham and cheese.” Our waiter interrupted.
“Ooh, thank you!” I exclaimed, tearing my eyes away from Ben.
“Enjoy your meal.” She said, then she walked away.
“Do you really expect to finish all 6 of those pancakes?” Ben asked.
“Hell yeah!”
“Well good luck!”
“You underestimate my appetite.” I chided.
“I repeat, good luck!”
20 minutes later I was leaning back in the booth, groaning slightly.
“You know, you didn’t have to eat all of those pancakes.” Ben reasoned.
“I had to prove a point. Plus they were just staring at me. They were saying ‘eat me Jack, eat me.’” I mimicked.
Ben snorted, and scraped a few of the extra chocolate chips off of my plate and transferred them to his mouth. I watched his lips surround the fork, capturing the food into his mouth, then his tongue peaking out to swipe off the extra chocolate from his lips as he swallowed. It all seemed to be in slow motion, kind of like in movies where they zoom in on the details of a person’s actions, and I couldn’t help but wonder what those lips would feel like if they were on mine.
“Are you ready to go?’ Ben asked, breaking my reverie. He pulled a container of tic tacs out of his pocket and popped one into his mouth.
“What? Oh, yeah. I think I need to walk this food off a bit.”
“Like it’ll make a difference. If you eat like that all the time and still look as skinny as you do you don’t ever need to exercise.” Ben joked.
“Exactly, why do you think I’m in such bad shape.” I replied, giving him a small smile.
He laughed softly in return. “Let’s go, we pay at the counter up front.” He said standing from the booth and holding out his hand to pull me up.
I took it and let Ben do all the work by pulling all 6 foot 2 of me off of the booth into a standing position. “I don’t think I can walk.” I commented.
“I have faith in you.” Ben replied.
We walked to the front desk, where Ben paid as I browsed the small shelf of toys they had for kids at the counter, wondering why beanie babies weren’t popular anymore and observing how creepy stuffed animals had gotten.
“Okay, let’s go. Do you want to do something else, or does going home sound good to you?” Ben asked.
“I think heading back to your apartment would be a wise idea. All of this food may slip me into a food coma.”
“I certainly hope not! Well, not quite yet.”
“I promise not to.” I said.
We made our way out into the parking lot heading towards the back where we parked.
“You still have chocolate on your face by the way.” Ben said, smirking lightly at me as he rummaged through his pocket for keys.
“Where?” I asked.
“At the corner of your mouth, and on your chin.” He answered pointing to the areas.
I licked my fingers then rubbed at the spots he has pointed at. “Are they still there? I asked as we made it to the car.
“There are still a couple spots.” He commented. “Here, I’ll get em.” He rubbed at the corners of my mouth. “All better.” He commented quietly. I noticed his eyes flick to my lips for a second, then back to my eyes. He was close enough that I could feel his breath sweep over my face lightly, and it made me realize how close we had actually gotten. I’m not too sure who had initiated it, but what seemed like all of a sudden Ben’s lips were against mine. He tasted of the tic tac he had slipped into his mouth before we left and I just hoped my breath wasn’t too bad. His lips were warm and soft and honestly I think this has been the best first kiss I’ve had in a while. I loved the way his hands held my face as my fingers pressed into his hips lightly.
We were interrupted however by a family of five exiting the restaurant. “I think we should head back to my apartment.” Ben murmured, breaking the kiss.
“Yeah, I think that would be a good idea.” I replied.
~~~
When we got back to the apartment complex it was almost eerily quiet. Only a few muffled televisions were going on in some of the apartments. Ben and I rushed down the apartment hallway towards the elevator, bundling into it as soon as the door opened with a ‘ding!’
As soon as the door closed Ben pressed me against the wall of the elevator. The bar that ran along the side of the wall was pressing against the small of my back but I barely noticed with Ben’s lips perfectly attached to mine.
When the door opened on our floor we stumbled into the hallway trying not to disturb the neighbors as we made our way down the hallway to the apartment door.
While Ben attempted to unlock his door, I distracted him by lightly kissing his neck. “Jack, we’re never going to get into the apartment if you don’t stop.” I just smirked and continued with what I was doing. “Okay, seriously stop.” He demanded with a lightness that indicated he wasn’t mad but was serious.
We got into the apartment and as the door closed behind us Ben pressed me against it lightly and placed one last lingering kiss that said we’re slowing this down. He stepped away and headed towards the fridge. “Do you want a beer?” Ben asked.
“Umm, sure.” I said a little breathless. I sat down on a chair that had been pulled out and Ben joined me, sitting across the table and sliding the beer to me. “Thanks.”
“You’re welcome.” He replied.
I took a swig of the beer then looked at Ben. “Hey, can I ask you something?”
“Go for it.” He answered.
“When did you realize you were gay?” I asked.
“Well I came out to everyone when I was a sophomore in high school, but I started realizing it all the way back in middle school.”
“Wow, really?!”
“Yeah, but what about you? When did boys start turning you on?”
“I don’t really know to be honest. I didn’t come out till this year. I think I tried to convince myself that it was just Alex. I’ve liked him for years, but I just tried to avoid it for years because he was my best friend.”
Ben took a sip of beer “Jack, I’m not” he took a breath “I’m not going to be a rebound am I?”
“From Alex?” Oh god no!” I said, shaking my head profusely. “Ben, I really, really like you. And you actually want to date me. Unlike Alex who was… confused. You’re really nice and cute and funny and generally an awesome dude!”
He just smiled at my compliments and then we sat there in a comfortable silence finishing up our beers. “Okay, well I think I may head off to bed.” Ben said as he downed the last few drops. “I would offer you to join, but… I don’t want to rush. But hey if you ever want to at some point, my door’s open. Umm yeah. Goodnight”
“Goodnight,” I replied. Trying not to laugh at his rambling, honestly I thought of it as adorable.
He began to walk towards his bedroom, before walking back quickly and placing one last kiss to my lips then he rushed into his bedroom.
I could seriously get used to that.