Stuck in the "Friend Zone"

“Oh my gosh, finally we can sleep in an actual bed!” I exclaimed as we walked into the hotel room.
“I know, I was really getting sick of those cramped little bunks.” Alex added.
“Alex, are you sure you don’t mind rooming with me?” I asked again.
“Jack, seriously you’re my best friend! I don’t care that you’re gay!”
“Okay, just checking.” I said then laid back down on the couch.
After several minutes of silence Alex said. “Jack, can I tell you something.”
“Of course you can Alex. I think we’ve gone over this enough times, we can tell each other anything!”
“Right, force of habit,” he said laughing nervously. “Well what you confessed on the bus last night, me too.”
“What do you mean ‘me too’” I asked.
“I mean I’m gay too.” He said.
“Oh, okay,” I replied.
Then he sucked in a deep breath and said really fast “andisortoflikeyoubutigetitifyoudon’tlikemethat’stotallycoolbutiwantedtotellyoujustincaseyoudidfeelthesameway.”
“What?” I said again
He took another deep breath and said slowly “I like you.”
“Ohh,” was all I said.
“I get it if you don’t like me though.” He said quickly.
“Why is my life such a chick flick.” I muttered chuckling.
Alex looked a little hurt. “No! I didn’t mean it in a bad way!” I exclaimed. “I just mean, well I like you too.”
“Ohh,” he said.
“Well, what now?” I asked.
“Well…” and he came towards me and planted a kiss on my lips. It wasn’t a peck but it wasn’t too intense. But he stayed there, kissing me. I slipped my hands to the back of his neck and kept him in place. His hands went around my skinny torso, gripping my sides. In no time at all, the kiss had become more than just kissing. His tongue had slipped into my mouth and my shirt was halfway off. I picked him up and placed him on the counter, his legs wrapping around my waist. Alex’s hand travelled down my chest, to the waistband of my jeans, my breath hitched, he smirked then undid my belt and slid his hands into my pants…

“HEY JACK, WAKE UP!” A voice screamed. I shot straight up hitting my head on the top of the bunk. Moaning at the pain on my head and embarrassment of the dream, I crawled out of the bunk and headed to the front of the bus.
“Ready for the show?” Alex asked.
“Yup, let’s go!” I said trying to sound normal.
“Hey Barakat, did you have a nice nap?” Rian asked, snickering, motioning toward the obvious bulge in my jeans.
“Fuck off.” I muttered turning a light shade of pink.
“Did you have a sex dream about Alex or something?” Rian said still snickering.
I turned a darker shade of pink and said “ha ha very funny. Can we just go now? We don’t want to keep the crowd waiting.”
Rian just laughed again then we all headed out the door.

We played our set then headed back to the bus. I stopped to talk to Jess from The Summer Set, then jogged back to the bus. I opened up the door to see Alex hugging a small brunette. Once again that green jealousy monster roared in disapproval. “Rachel,” was all I said.
“Hey Jack!” She said.
“What’re you doing here?” I asked.
“I was visiting my sister in the area so I decided to surprise you all and visit.” She explained, “Are you not happy to see me Barakat?”
“Of course I am.” I said faking a smile.
“Yo, party on the Yellowcard bus tonight!” Rian yelled into the bus, and then ran back out.
“Wait up!” I yelled, then ran after Rian and jumped on his back. “Giddy up horsey!”
“Get off me Jack.” Rian said laughing, shoving me off.
I flopped down onto the cement, and Rian turned around to see my (mock) hurt expression. “Jack, I’m joking.” He said chuckling. He held out his hand and pulled me up, to which I proceeded to jump back on his back.
“Onward trusty steed!” I shouted again.
Rian just sighed and walked to the Yellowcard bus with me on his back. When we got there the bus was filled to full capacity and then some. I felt like I was back in high school during one of those shitty house parties, except smaller accommodations and more people. Cass jumped on Rian the moment we walked in, and kissed him. I stood there awkwardly for a moment then walked off in search of a drink.

It was 2 in the morning and I sat on the sidelines, watching everyone having a good time and laughing. My gaze was fixed on Rachel and Alex who were dancing. Their foreheads were touching and big grins were plastered both of their faces, and on and on the jealousy raged. Making my stomach do back flips and tearing a hole in my chest.
“I’m going to get some fresh air.” I said to no one in particular. I shoved through the crowd, and jumped off the bus. Once I got outside and took a deep breath. The air smelled of spring and the slight smell of bus exhaust. I really didn’t know what to do anymore. One moment I was fine and didn’t care about Alex and I thought I was over it, but then I see them together again and it feels like someone has ripped open my chest a ripping out my heart. I don’t care how dramatic it sounds that’s how I felt.
“Are you okay?” someone asked, I turned around to see Cass looking at me worried.
“Sure,” I said.
“What’s wrong, Jack?” She asked. “Is it Alex and Rachel, I saw you looking at them.”
“I know it seems stupid, but it really bugs me.”
“You like him, it’s not that simple everyone’s jealous of their crush’s significant others.”
“I guess. It just, it hurts! Ya know? What makes it worse is I love Rachel! She’s amazing and so sweet and I can’t hate her. And Alex is my best friend and I don’t want to fuck that up! He’s been my friend for years!”
“I’d say give it time. You never know something may happen.”
“Don’t get my hopes up.” I said.
“Hopes high, head low Barakitten,” she sighed.
“Thanks for the advice Cassadog.” I said smiling at the nicknames.