The *** of Warped Tour

As we approached the last few days of Warped Tour I was sighing with every look Ronnie and I exchanged. Still, something wasn’t right. Ben and I weren’t right. Though all he had put me through I felt that if anybody were to forgive him for something like that, it would be me. I know best of all that people make mistakes. I know that things don’t always go as you want them to.
However, I was so in love with Ronnie at this point that I couldn’t even think of Ben. He was useless as tits on a bull to me, because I’m Belladonna. I’m Ronnie’s new girl, and my life is pretty much wonderful.
“Are you awake?” I heard Ronnie’s sleepy voice ask me. So cute!
“Maybe.” I responded.
“Sounds like you are.” He chuckled in a breathy manner. I felt like a school girl, completely and hopelessly in love with him.
“Yeah, I’m up. What’s the plan for today?” I asked.
“I’m actually going to be out all day again today.” Ronnie responded quickly. Strange. That’s what the plan was for the past few days.
“Again?”
“That’s what I said.” He nodded.
“Oh. Okay.” Was all I managed to choke out. What could I say? My feelings were a bit crushed from not getting any Ronnie time. That’s what you get when you date a rock star, though.
There was an urgent knock on the wooden bedroom door. A frazzled looking Jacky opened it. He was in blue plaid pajama pants and a white shirt, with his hair sticking up in all directions.
“We have a problem.” Jacky said.
“No, he has a problem.” Derek shouted from the front of the bus.
“What’s wrong?” A soft female voice asked from the front of the bus.
“Nothing, honey! I’ll be right out.” Ronnie said.
And in that moment I understood. They had been keeping me from the bus a lot lately. Ronnie had been super occupied. A woman whom he referred to as honey was standing at the bus door.
Silent and heartbroken, I began to get dressed and pack my things. Ronnie hadn’t said a word to me the entire time. I looked at him as I was finished packing. “Who can I trust?”
“Bell, it’s not like that. Look let me explain what happened. I-“ Ronnie began but I cut him off.
“I spent the whole tour hating Ben Bruce when the truth is, he never hurt me. Everything that happened with him was my poor judgement. He didn’t ruin my life. I ruined my life by letting things go on without telling the real story… but you lied upside down and sideways the entire time. You’re the one I thought I could trust. And I got more truth from someone I hated.”
“Where are you going to go?” Ronnie asked. “You can’t leave now.”
“I can do anything that I want with my life.” I said. “I just never believed it.”
I felt like such a stoic, walking out of there, leaving his wife, girlfriend, fiancé, or whoever the woman was, in complete shock. I didn’t cry. I didn’t get angry. I just walked on as I held my tears, as I always have.
Behind me Jacky asked, “Bell where are you going? You have nowhere to stay!”
“I’m going home.” I answered. And I was, but before I could, I had to go do something.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
“I can’t believe I’m at this shit hole.” I mumbled to myself as I knocked on the bus door.
“B?” Danny asked. “Why are you here?”
“Get Ben.” I was concise with what I wanted.
“Who’s at the door?” Ben appeared from somewhere on the bus. “Oh.” Was all he said when he had seen me.
“Oh?” I laughed. “Yeah I can’t even believe I’m doing this, but thank you for posting my naked pictures online.” I went to turn around and leave but Ben felt the need to continue conversing.
“Why?”
“Because you didn’t ruin my life. I did. And you know what? I’m proud of who I am and nobody seems to understand why! I know they all think I’m a fuck up whore but I am a human being and I made a mistake and I’m tired of being judged for it. I am proud of who I am.” I said, tears overflowing my eyes.
“You’re welcome, B.” Ben said.
“I can’t trust anyone here anymore.” I said, wiping the small tears away. “I think it’s best that I go home now, but I just had to say that.”
“What happened?” He asked.
“Ronnie wasn’t who I thought he was. I was caught up on someone who already had someone.”
“If it makes you want to stay, you can trust me.” Ben said. “I may be an asshole, but I am very truthful.” He grinned.
“No.” I shook my head. “I need to leave. I need to move on from Ronnie and Warped Tour. I’ve been hating you for years and waiting for him even longer.”
“You knew him before?” Ben looked dumbfounded.
“I met him when I was young.” I sighed. “I never forgot about him. But he moved on from me. I was so naïve.”
Ben looked at me and studied me for a long moment. “It was true when I said I had feelings for you, B.” He said sadly. “And I’d like it if you stayed.”
“Ben, I don’t know that I’m ready for a relationship.” I said. I cared about him now, certainly. However, I needed to focus on me and not some guy for once.
He looked at me sadly.
“I’m not going to never talk to you again.” I gave him a smile. “We can talk outside of warped tour. This isn’t the whole world you know.”
“To me it is.” He shrugged.
“To me, it is just a tour. I have a life to get back to. I’m not seventeen anymore, I can’t be acting like a groupie.”
“If you’re leaving, I’ll take you to the airport.” Ben said, taking my hand.
“Thank you.” I smiled.
“No problem.” He laughed. “Whore of Warped Tour.”