My Own Glory

"Are you sure about this?"

"Yup."

"This is permanent. You can't just get rid of it."

"That's the plan."

"No backing out."

"I got it, Aunt Danni." I told her. She put her hands up in surrender and I just smiled, hugging my aunt, "I want this...for her."

"Uh, Maddi Johnson?" The big, burly, bald guy said with a clipboard in his hands. Aunt Danni and I stood, following the guy to the back of the shop. He instructed me to sit on the chair so I was leaning forward in a comfortable position.

Aunt Danni sat in the chair in front of me, my hands in hers.

"This is a really nice drawing, very detailed. Who's it for?" I smiled at Danni.

"My mom."

"Alright, if it's too much let me know and I'll stop." I nodded and heard the humming of the needle. When it broke the skin I squeezed Danni's hand but stayed strong the whole way through.

I had just turned 18. There was only one thing I wanted for my birthday and that was a tattoo. Not just any tattoo but the same one Aunt Danni has.

Of course both Danni and Sidney weren't completely sure about this but I was, and I saved up birthday, holiday, and working money for it. When I turned 18, I was legal to sign my own papers. Not that Danni or Sidney would stop me, they know how much this means to me. They've supported me through everything.

Life with Sidney and Danni has been...interesting to say the least. For three years I was an only child, the attention on the "adopted" Crosby girl. But I never was actually adopted by Danni and Sidney. I'm not a Crosby in the legal sense. I wanted to keep my mothers name since that, and a few pictures, was all I had left of her. Danni and Sidney understood that and respected my decision.

When the actual Crosby heirs graced this earth, I was forgotten by the media. Who wouldn't want to see the Crosby Twins instead of the adopted girl? But it wasn't as bad as it sounds. I was able to live a normal life where no one knew I was a "Crosby". Sid and Danni treated me as their own, understanding my distaste in being in the spot light and life was...normal.

After many hours of getting the design on and colored, Danni and I were on our way home where Sidney was playing some video game with Liam and Aiden, both now 10 years old. Owen,4, was watching from the big LazyBoy Sidney calls his unless he's sitting in between the twins playing games.

"Maddi's home!" Owen yelled when he heard the door close. He was at my side in seconds. The littlest Crosby had taken a liking to me specifically. Owen wanted to play hockey (surprise, surprise) and be a goalie like Marc-Andre Fleury, his godfather. When he made that decision, he asked me to help him practice. Since then he would be at my side most days.

"Did she do it?" Sidney asked, his eyes not leaving the TV screen.

"Yes she did." Danni answered.

"Can I see? Can I see?" Owen begged, bouncing on the balls of his feet. I took my jacket and my button up shirt off to show him the blue lily with wings. A neat script below it read my mothers name, "I bet your mom would like that."

"Me too buddy."

"I thought I asked someone to unload the dishwasher?" Danni yelled from the kitchen. I laughed when all of the boys froze, looking for someone to blame. They might be Crosby's but Mrs. Crosby has rules, and if Mrs. Crosby's rules aren't followed, well...it wasn't pretty.

"Aiden, it was your turn to unload the dishwasher!" Liam accused. Before Aiden could retaliate, Danni replied,

"I don't care whose turn it is. Someone better unload and load the dishwasher!" Sidney gave his twins a look. The boys let out groans but got up, heads hung low as they marched to the kitchen.

I plopped down on the couch beside Sidney as he saved and closed out of the game turning on some hockey game, "So you did it?"

"Yup." He patted my leg, nothing else needed to be said.

I glanced down at my phone when it went off, "What are you getting Jeremy for his birthday?" Tina texted. I let out a groan, completely forgetting.

"What's wrong?" Sid asked.

"My friend's birthday is Friday and I haven't gotten them anything." It was Wednesday and I had no idea what to get him last minute.

"You know we have a game Saturday. Bring her to that. You've always got tickets at Will Call."

"I know but I'm not sure. I don't know if they'd like it."

"Do they like hockey?" I nodded. "Then they'll like it."

"I'll think about it."

Once the twins finished their chores, Danni started dinner and we all ate. I went up upstairs to change into sweats then came back down to find it quiet...too quiet, "Where is everyone?" I asked Danni as she washed the dishes.

"Baths. So Sidney tells me that your friend's birthday is Friday." She said.

"Um yeah."

"What friend because if I remember correctly, you already celebrated Tine, Sarah, and Mary's birthdays." She knows me too well.

"It's Jeremy's." I mumbled. She smiled. Danni has met Jeremy on several occasions, but I have never brought him over to the house. Tina, Sarah, and Mary were the only ones that have been here since freshman summer. They were the only ones that even knew about me.

"Jeremy's cute. And I'm sure he would love to go to a game."

"But he doesn't know. Don't you think he'd be suspicious when he sits in nice seats?"

"Just tell me. He's your friend, right?"

"So is most of the school but I'm not gonna go around and tell them that kind of a secret." I argued.

"If he's your real friend, it won't matter to him. You've been friends since freshman year. He's your friend because of you. Invite him to the game." I hate when she's right, which is most of the time.

"Okay...I'll invite him. But he might be busy. You know...it's the day after his birthday and all." Danni could see through my excuses and continued with the dishes.

"Danni...we have a problem." Sidney called from the upstairs bathroom.

"Three kids and you'd think he'd be able to wash one without trouble." I chuckled picturing all kinds of "problems" Sidney was having.

I leaned against the kitchen counter playing with my phone, sorting the pros and cons of inviting Jeremy and if I should even tell him. I trusted Jeremy more than anyone and he wouldn't do anything to hurt me.

"What are you doing Saturday night?" I texted Jeremy.

"Eating whatever's left of my cake Friday. Why?"

"Interested in going to a Pens game?" After five minutes he never responded. I knew this wasn't going to work. Another minute and my phone went off, "Hello?"

"Are you inviting me to a Penguins game this Saturday?"

"Unless you've got plans. I don't want to get in the wa--"

"I don't have plans!" I laughed.

"So you want to go?"

"Fuck yeah I do! Oh my god this is awesome!"

"You sound like you've never been to one."

"Um...'cuz I haven't." I wanted to bang my head against the counter. I probably sounded like such a snob.

"I'm sorry Jeremy. I didn't know."

"It's alright. I still want to go."

"Cool so um, the game is at 7:30."

"I can come pick you up. Then maybe we can go get something to eat after." He suggested.

"...Um, yeah that's fine."

"Awesome. I'll pick you up around 6:15. Text me your address?"

"Sure."

"Great. Oh my god I'm so fucking excited for this. Thank you so much Maddi! You're the best!!"

So...I just invited my crush to a Penguins game...and I'm going to tell him my biggest secret...what did I just do?

---

Saturday evening couldn't come fast enough. Since inviting him, Jeremy has been texting me about how excited he was to go to the game. Me on the other hand...was scared out of my wits.

"Are you sure you don't want a ride with us?" Sidney asked holding Danni's jacket for her as she slipped it on.

"Yea, we're gonna get something to eat after."

"Text me when you get to the arena." Danni instructed. I nodded and waved as the Crosby clan piled into the SUV and drove off.

I raced up the stairs to get ready. I had an hour before Jeremy was here so I showered and changed into a pair of skinny jeans and a black shirt. I matched it with a pair of mid calf black boots, "Now for the jersey." I headed for the basement where Danni kept all of my memorabilia from the years. My room wasn't big enough for the trophies I received but mostly for the jerseys I got from fellow players.

Traveling with Sidney and meeting many different players from teams around the NHL, old and new, had become friends of mine. For birthdays, Christmas, and just for fun, I'd get signed jerseys and have them folded and placed in glass cases showing off the name, number, and signature of every player. The cases lined the walls like wallpaper. The colors bright as if new, the glass for each one was dusted off, thanks to Danni.

One wall specifically was dedicated to the Pittsburgh Penguins. From Mario to the newest Rookie, the Penguins are my team, "Which boy tonight?" I thought back to past games and to what jersey I've worn before, "I'm feeling Tanger tonight." I unlatched the casing and pulled out my #58 Kris Letang jersey and brought it up stairs.

I put on some light make-up that complimented me well, or so Mary has told me. I pinned my curly red hair back and checked myself in the mirror. My phone buzzing and the door bell going off was Jeremy's signal of his presence. I put my Letang jersey on raced downstairs to answer the door.

Jeremy was a modeling agents dream. He was tall. He was dark. And he was handsome. Tee shirt and jeans or hockey pads, the boy looked hot in anything.

Having him stand in front of me in jeans, a jacket, and a Pens hat with his curly dirty blonde hair sticking out underneath it was painful. I couldn't just jump his bones...that would be weird.

"This is your house?" He asked, breaking me from my starring.

"Oh um yeah. I just gotta grab my coat." I let him in and he shut the door.

"...wow. Maybe I need to start working at Tim Horton's."

"So are you ready?" He smiled a gorgeous, white tooth grin and unzipped his jacket to show off his Pens shirt, "Do you want a jersey?" I offered.

"You have another jersey?" He asked surprised.

"Um yeah, I've got a few." Liar.

"Sure, if you don't mind." I shook my head and told him to follow me upstairs.

Control yourself Madison.

Jeremy stood in the doorway of my room as I rifled through my closet for a plain Penguins jersey, "Black or White?"

"...White?" I took the jersey off the hanger and held it up against his built frame.

"It should fit." He took it with a big smile and we headed for the arena. I picked up the tickets from Will Call, finding out two passes were there as well. Sidney's trying to kill me.

When we found the seats I set a reminder in my phone to actually kill Sidney. He had us right by the glass on the corner of the arena where the Pens shoot twice, "Your aunt must seriously have the ins with the Pens. These seats are awesome!"

"They are, aren't they?" I replied, hidden sarcasm in my tone.

"Remind me to kill Sid when I get home." I sent to Danni.

"Glad to know you made it :)"

Through warm ups when the teams were on the ice, I noticed the obvious confused or goofy looks from the Flyer players that I've known for years. Having Jeremy talking to me wasn't helping either.

It was the same with the Penguins during the game. Occasionally between whistles, they would see the two of us. Sidney's reaction was by far the best.

The game against the Flyers kept us on our toes the whole time. Back and forth the goals went between the teams. Minutes left in the third period, we were predicting overtime but the Captain never lets his team and fans down. Sidney picked up a loose puck and skated towards the Flyers net. That goalie had to be shakin' in his pads with the speed Sidney was coming at him. The shot was hard and hit top shelf. The Pens fans were on their feet before the red light was lit. Jeremy and I were jumping up and down. He wrapped his arms around me and lifted me off the ground. Those big, muscled arms were wrapped around me...no padding like in hockey. This is the closest I've really been near him without the hockey equipment separating us.

And he smelled fantastic!

Jeremy thought it best to wait a couple minutes before leaving the arena, "You know, with traffic and all."

"Um, I actually have," I pulled out the passes from my coat pocket, "passes to the locker room."

"You've got to be fucking kidding me! Those seriously aren't passes!" He said standing up with his hands on his hips.

"If you don't want to go..."

"YES! YES! I do!"

"You make it sound like I just proposed." I teased, grabbing my stuff and handing him a pass. Jeremy smiled and put his arm around my shoulders as I led the way to the locker room. I'm hoping he's too infatuated with all of this to question how I know where I'm going.

Security must not of gotten the memo because they let us through with no question. The family lounge was packed with the families of the young and old players. Aunt Danni was sitting on the couch surrounded by her sons, "Isn't that your Aunt?" Jeremy pushed us through the crowd to Danni who smiled when she saw us.

"Hey you two! Enjoy the game?"

"That was amazing! Such a great game. Thank you for the tickets." Jeremy said. Danni smirked.

"Anytime, I get them all the time and sometimes I just can't go. Nice jersey, by the way."

An applause broke out when the team walked in. Jeremy froze in his spot with his mouth hanging open. He's in the presence of the Pittsburgh Penguins, hopefully he didn't shit a brick or anything.

"Do you want to get an autograph?" I asked him, shaking his arm.

"I don't have anything for them to sign."

"Have them sign the jersey."

"What? So you can get their autograph?" I rolled my eyes.

"No, so you can. Happy Birthday." He looked at me then down at his jersey.

"Are...are you serious?" I nodded then pulled him to the nearest player who smirked at me, then smiled at Jeremy, gladly signing his jersey.

"Who's the kid?" The quiet French Canadian accent that I could recognize anywhere asked. Kris flipped his hair out of his face.

"Jeremy, he's a kid on my team."

"Are you two..."

"We're just friends." He smirked.

"That's what they all said. You should of seen Sid when he realized that kid was who you brought. Even Max is upset."

"Maxie? Why's he upset?"

"He promised to wait for you, now you've found another guy. He's heart broken. He couldn't even stop by to say hi." He teased.

"Oh please, that man is married!"

"Maddi will you take a picture?" Jeremy asked, interrupting my conversation with Kris.

"Of course." For the next fifteen minutes we walked around and talked with several of the guys, taking pictures and getting autographs. By the end, there was only one person we missed...

"Th-that's Sidney Crosby." Jeremy stated, pointing at Sid talking with Danni. "Excuse me, Sid?" Jeremy said shyly. Sidney turned and put on that smile I knew so well, the one he puts on as a mask. Is he really mad at me?

"C-can I get an autograph?" Sid smiled and accepted the jersey, signing it. Jeremy and Sidney made small talk as Aunt Danni came up to me.

"He hates me."

"Sidney could never hate you. He's not use to this. Seeing you with a boy...it's gonna be hard on him." Jeremy asked for a picture and I snapped one. I turned the camera off, "Don't be too late." Danni told me.

"Maddi do you want a picture with Sid?" I glanced between the two of them.

"Oh um sure. I'd love too." I handed Jeremy my camera and stood next to Sidney.

"We're gonna talk about this when you get home." Sidney whispered to me.

When I looked at the picture after it was taken, I was happy I looked "happy" because Sidney has his intimidating moments, believe it or not. And that was one of them.

Jeremy and I went to this little coffee shop right after. We just talked about the game and our team, all kinds of things. For the moment, I forgot all about telling Jeremy my secret. I could forget my problems when I'm around Jeremy. Sometimes even during hockey practice, I forget my own name.

God do I have a problem.

Being the proper gentleman that he was, Jeremy walked me to the door when we returned to my house, his hands tucked into his pocket, "Maddi, I can't even begin to thank you. This has been--"

"Amazing? Yeah, you've told me every five minutes."

"I know, I'm sorry. You're aunt's lucky she gets these tickets. She must work close with the team and Sid. I think he sponsors Timmy Ho's, right?"

"Um yeah he does."

"But you know what's really weird? I never realized this but your cousins look a lot like Sidney. I never made that connection."

"Yeah, Jeremy about that. There's something I need to tell you."

"They're like mini clones of him."

"That's because--"

"Mr. C must look an awful lot like Sidney for--"

"Sidney's their dad." I blurted out. Jeremy gave me a disbelieving look. Then the wheels started turning.

"Wait...their dad is...Sidney Crosby?" I nodded, "But they're your aunts kids...and that would make..." His eyes got big when it clicked. "Is Sidney Crosby...your uncle?"

"Yes, he is." Jeremy nodded his head and turned on his heel, heading down the walk way.

I knew this was a bad idea! I shouldn't of listened to Danni. My best friend, and crush, just walked away hearing that! I mean sure, it's big news and a lot to take in but walking away? If there was any chance of being whatever with Jeremy it just flew out the window.

I let out a sigh and grabbed the door knob.

"Sidney Crosby is your uncle? Are you messing with me?" I heard him ask at the bottom of the porch steps.

"He met my Aunt Danni in Tim Horton's. They've been married for ten years."

"But your name isn't--" I pulled his arm so he would sit beside me on the cold steps. I relayed the whole story to him; my mom, coming to Pittsburgh, meeting Sid and the team, the name difference. And Jeremy just sat there and listened, not saying a word.

Sentence after sentence the weight from my shoulders was getting lighter but I was only pushing it onto his. If Jeremy was a guy that would reveal my secret to everyone, that load would just get heavier for me.

"And the reason I don't tell people is because I don't want them to use me or my family just so they can say they're tight with the Pittsburgh Penguins. They might be famous athletes but they're people too. We all want a normal life and keeping my name and this secret from everyone was the best way. I'm sorry I never told you. You're actually only the fourth person that knows."

"Who are the other three?"

"Tina, Sarah, and Mary." He scoffed.

"They don't know anything about hockey." I smiled.

"That's why it was easy to tell them. They respect my secret. That's why they call my aunt and uncle Mr. and Mrs. C."

"Now it makes sense."

"You aren't mad at me...are you?" He looked over at me. I searched his face for any negative feelings but there was nothing, just perfection.

He cracked a grin, "I could never be mad at you. You're my best friend and I'm glad you told me that."

"I've wanted to tell you for the longest time but..."

"I get it, Maddi. You don't need to explain anything. It is a big deal and I probably would of done the same thing." I smiled and laid my head on his shoulder.

"Thanks...for understanding." I mumbled.

"Thanks for trusting me. Your secret is safe too. If I ever tell a soul, you have my permission to strangle me."

"Deal." I looked at the time on my phone, "You should probably get going." But sitting next to him, my head on his shoulder as light snow fell from the dark sky was too beautiful to leave. And with a man like Jeremy here...someone might have to pull me away from him.

"Is it weird to say I don't want to leave?" I turned my head to look at him. In this position, he was much closer than I thought. One simple nudge and out lips would connect...come on Jeremy!

"I don't want you to get in trouble with Coach." I told him, sitting up. He stood first and offered his hands, pulling me to my feet. Standing on level ground with Jeremy put me at his chest, just below his neck. But standing on the second porch step while he was on the pathway put us at eye level. Even in the night, his blue eyes shone brighter than any sky I've seen.

"I'll see you around." He said quietly. I gave him a small smile and watched as he turned back around down the pathway.

I made my way to the front door afraid that if I didn't, I chase after him and plant a big one on him.

"Madison Johnson?" I heard him say. He was back at the foot of the steps, his cold hands shoved back in his pockets. I grinned and joined him.

"Yes Jeremy James?"

"Would Madison Johnson like to go to the movies with me tomorrow?" I bit my lower lip.

"Madison Johnson would love to go to the movies with you." I mocked. He smiled and I almost went weak at the knees.

"I'll text you with details." I nodded and this time watched him get in his car, wave, and drive off.

Inside, the kitchen light was left on and when I went to turn it off, I found Aunt Danni sitting at the island drinking a cup of tea, already in her pajamas. I stood in front of her, my fingers wringing themselves in nervousness, "Where's Sidney?" I expected him to be standing on the other side of the door or on the porch when I got home.

"Sleeping," she smirked, "Had to drive a hard bargain so he wouldn't stand on the front porch." I closed my eyes, willing the image from my head. "So..."

"I told him." She nodded, telling me to continue, "He...seemed to handle it pretty well."

"I think it'll take him some time."

"He asked me out. We're going to the movies tomorrow."

"You better talk to Sidney. He was kinda hurt you didn't tell him." I sighed, but nodded.

Aunt Danni finished her tea and placed it in the sink. She came over to me and gave me a hug, a kiss was placed on my forehead, "You did the right thing, Madison."

As I turned the light off and headed for bed, I tried to convince myself that I had done the right thing. Jeremy's my best friend. I don't want to keep anything from him. And the only way I know that I can trust him is to wait and see if he'll break my heart, or keep it safe.