Don't Touch Me!

“Brian…” his soft voice said. I knew he wanted to touch me, and I want him to, but he can’t. I just can’t do it! “Bri, please listen to me?” I looked up at his gorgeous green eyes, falling more in love with him then I already was. Slowly nodding, I waited for a reply.
“Bri, you’re my best friend and I only want what’s best for you.” He paused looking down. “The guys and I have talked and we think you should get some help. Maybe your problem will go away, please just try.” He begged, knowing that I was going to say no.
My ‘problem’ was I have Chiraptophobia, the fear of being touched. I can’t touch anyone or be touched by anyone; if I am I have an anxiety attack. I shook my head, not wanting to leave my home, my friends, and my life to cure my problem.
“Brian, please?” His green orbs filled with sadness. “Just do it for me?” Zacky begged, again. Zacky has been my best friend since high school and has known about my problem since then.
”Come on man,” he urged. “All you have to do is go in the closet with her for seven minutes and do… stuff.” His eyebrows wiggled a little when he said stuff and blue eyes shined with playfulness. We were at some party with some of Zack’s other friends, playing seven minutes in heaven. All the other guys were jealous because I got to go in the closet with the ‘hottest’ girl here. What no one knew though was that I am gay. Not only that but she looks really touchy feely and I hate being touched.
“No guys, its okay. One of you can take my turn.” I say, shoving my heels in the carpet as Jimmy pushes me to the closet. My chest tightens in fear and I start to shake. Before I know it I am locked in the closet with Michelle, no chance of escape.
“Come on Brian,” She says, trying to be seductive. “I know you want me.” With that her fake finger-nailed fingers crawled up my chest. Dear Lord, please make this stop! Nothing stopped her though.
My vision swirled in the dark closet, breath hitching in my throat, sweat pouring from anywhere it could, and my stomach churned getting ready to empty its contents. “Baby, are you okay?” She asks calmly, before tracing her fingers under my shirt.
All I can think is that I am going to die, in a closet, with a hoe. My anxiety attack kicked into full gear, my breathing slowed and I started shaking like a leaf. The whole world suddenly went black.
When I woke up I was out of the closet, lying on a couch. “Brian…” Zacky’s hand came out of nowhere and tried to touch my face, I started screaming, not knowing what else to do. “Stop screaming! What’s wrong?” Zacky demanded.
That was the night I told them. That was the night everyone thought I was a freak. Although, Zacky, Matt, Jimmy, and Johnny have become okay with it, the girls there that night never looked at me again. They all wanted me to get better, to fall in love and live a happy life. They all wanted me to go to a place that could fix me, like I was some broken toy.
“Zack, you know I can’t do it.” I said looking down. The emotion in his eyes changed with the blink of his eyes, from sadness to anger.
“Fine then! Live like this for the rest of your life then!” He screamed before leaving, slamming the door on his way out. I was left sitting on my sofa, in my apartment, day dreaming about what my life would be like if I did go.

*Two Weeks Later*

I stepped out of the car and into the facility that would ‘help me’. After the incident with Zacky I decided that it wouldn’t hurt to try. But, I read online that it takes years for a person with Chiraptophobia to be cured. I didn’t want to be away from my friends that long. I couldn’t be away from Zacky that long… I needed him.
“Hello sir, how may I help you?” The blonde receptionist smiled as I walked in.
“Umm… Hi. I am Brian Haner.” I mumbled. “Here for the Chiraptophobia treatment.” She smiled, writing something on a sheet of paper.
“Well Mr. Haner, your room is this way.” She smiled as she handed me the paper and pointed me in the right direction.
The walls were an off cream colour, reminding me of a hospital. I glanced at the paper, Room 103 was all it said. I looked at the room numbers, seeing that I have reached mine. With a sigh, I opened the door being met with a beam of light streaming thorough the window. It was a single room with a single bed in the middle, small dresser, a closet, and a bathroom. It wasn’t very big and the walls were painted the same off cream colour as the halls. Opposite the door was a large window with a window seat. I set my bag on the floor, closing the door, and walked over to the window seat. I looked out the window and over the well kept grounds, only to see a small manmade pound. That’s going to be my spot I thought thinking about Zacky.

*Three Years Later*

I was being let out today! I couldn’t wait to see Zack, he was supposed to be picking me up. I stood outside the building waiting patiently, well as patiently as I can, I haven’t seen him in three years. A familiar looking black car drove up. It parked close to the building and Zack stepped out. A smile instantly hit my face. His hair was cut short, snakebites still in place, but a new piercing came into view as well. A septum. He looked better then ever. But, my smile faded when my gaze fell, so he wouldn’t see me staring, to his left hand. There, sitting pretty, on his left ring finger was a wedding band.
“Hey, Bri.” He smiled. I just nodded back before taking my stuff to his car. “Are you okay?” He ask, looking puzzled.
“Yeah.” I mumbled, looking down. “But, three years in there did nothing.” I said sadly, before he tried to touch me. He sighed, walking to the car behind me. I opened the door and was hit with the scent of women’s perfume. Zacky climbed in the drives seat.
“Oh…” Was all he said before pulling out of the place I had called home for the last three years.

We made it back to my place, I rented it out while I was gone to a friend, the car ride over being silent. “Would you like to come in?” I asked politely. He only nodded, clearly thinking about something. I unlocked the door, letting Zacky in first. We both sat on the couch before anything else was said. “Are you alright Zack?” I asked examining his saddened expression.
“I just… I never though I would have missed you that much.” He muttered. I simply nodded, not knowing what else to do. He missed me? He was married and probably had kids! Not to mention he never came to visit. “So, your still afraid?” He asked, looking me in the eye. All I could do was nod again and look away, they tried many times to touch me and I always had a panic attack. “Can I try?”
Before I could respond, a hand softly touched my cheek. I closed my eyes tightly, feeling my lungs tighten, stomach churn and the world spin. But, as soon as the feelings started, they were gone, being replaced with butterflies in my stomach. His touch made goose bumps appear on my skin and made it feel like it was exploding, in a good way. Zack quickly pulled away but before he could get too far, thinking I was having a panic attack. I reached out and grabbed his hand. The fire works starting all over again.
“Brian, what are you doing?” His voice cracked and shocked. Never in my life had I wanted to touch someone and now I don’t wanna let go of him. I started to slowly move towards him.
“I’m not afraid of you.” I smiled softly, my emotions taking over. My leg brushed against his, sending sparks through my lower half. I have never been this close to someone, I have never kissed anyone, I couldn’t stop myself even if I wanted to. My body couldn’t get any closer to his so I started leaning in to his face.
“W-what…” Before he could finish my lips were against his in a passionate kiss. I had wanted this for so long, dreamt about it, and I finally have it. Before I knew it, Zacky was pulling away. “Brian, I can’t…” He sadly stated, holding up his left hand. I looked down, sadly, moving far away from him again. I didn’t want to touch him anymore.
“I-I am sorry.” My voice was broken. I had wanted this for so long, but my problem stopped me from having it. I finally get over my problem and I can’t have him…
I looked back, only to find that he was gone. I stood, saddened about the fact that someone had gotten to him first. I headed to my bedroom for some much needed sleep, hoping to forget about all that had just happened.

Zacky

I cried the whole way home, still feeling his lips on mine. How could this happen to me? I had been in love with Brian for as long as I can remember. I freaked out when he kissed me, I don't know why I showed him my dads ring, paniced I guess. As soon as I put the car in the driveway, I was backing out of it again. I needed to tell him how I felt. I glanced at the ring, remembering how I got it.

*Six Months Ago*

“Zachary, your father wanted you to have this.” The nurse said handing me his wedding band. My father had been ill for a few years now with cancer. We all knew it was only a matter of time before he passed. Well that time has come and he is in a better place now, he is not in any more pain. I sighed and slipped the ring on my ring finger, not even thinking about it. A small tear fell from my eye, only to be quickly wiped away. I promised my dad that I wouldn’t cry and I am going to keep that promise.

My foot was heavy as I made my way back to Brian’s. As soon as I got there I flew out of the car, digging in my wallet for his spare apartment key. I ran up the stairs to the third floor, taking the elevator would have taken too long. The apartment was eerily quiet, the shower was the only notable thing.
I ran down the hall, something not feeling right. I knocked on the bathroom door, not wanting to scare Brian. I slowly started opening the door when no response was given. As soon as I seen a small patch of red on the floor I threw the door open, not caring anymore. I gasped in shock, running to Brian’s side.
His naked body lay on the tiled bathroom floor, a small puddle of blood surrounding a large gash on his forehead. The shower was running, splashing water all over the floor, the shower curtain wrapped around his legs and torn off the rod.

Brian

Beeping machines woke me from my deep sleep. My eyes hurt and I felt someone touching my arm. My breathing started to shallow as a panic attack began. Once my eyes shot open I seen that it was only Zack, and I instantly calmed down. My attack returned when I noticed that I was in the hospital. That means that people were touching me…. I started shaking.
“Bri, you’re okay.” A sleepy Zacky said, lifting his head from the mattress. He must have fallen asleep in the chair next to my bed. For some reason, hearing him say those words calmed me, and it didn’t matter who had touched me. “Please, tell me what happened after I left?”

I wanted to go to sleep but thought that a shower would do me some good, my muscles had been aching for a while. I turned the shower on, after finding the perfect water temperature. I slowly stepped inside, letting the warm water fall over my body. My muscles began to loosen and my eyes became heavier. I must have been standing still in the shower for a good ten minutes before, I thought, I heard the door to my floor slam shut. I wasn’t used to this sound so it startled me. I turned to get out, and see what the noise was, and slipped, grabbing at the shower curtain for safety. But, all I did was fall through it, ripping it in two, getting my ankles tired in it. I tried to move my body to avoid hitting the toilet but ended up moving so I would. My toilet sat in between my tub and a garnet counter top counter. Moving was a bad idea, my forehead came down hard and fast onto the corner of the counter top, I knew I should have told my landlord to get those shaved down. My body rolled onto the floor, where I blacked out the water still running over my curtain covered feet.

Zacky sighed, but laughed a little. “That sounds like something you would do.” He giggled. A smile fell over my face, he was happy. My smile instantly fell when I remembered the ring. “Bri, are you okay?” He asked squeezing my hand. I pulled it out of his grasp and looked at the little golden band, wondering where his wife was. He laughed again. “You think I am married?” I simply nodded, not understanding the point of that. “It’s my dads. He passed a few months ago and he wanted me to have it. I wanted to wear it on another finger but it only fits on this one.” Zack answered.
“Well what about the perfumy smell in your car?” I then asked, maybe he had a girlfriend then.
“I drove my sister to work like five minutes before I went to pick you up. She must bath in that stuff.” I looked down, feeling stupid for jumping to the conclusion that he was married. “Hey, look at me.” He mumbled, placing his fingers under my chin and forcing me to look. Before my eyes met his, his lips were on mine in a blissful kiss.
It took me a few seconds to kiss back I thought I was dreaming. Zack slowly pulled away. “I love you.” Those three words sent my heart and brain into overdrive. I had wanted him to say those words for so long, and he just did.
“I-I love you too.” I managed to stutter out. I pulled him in for another kiss, knowing that my chiraptophobia was gone for good.