So the summary got me so excited to read it. I could see so much of it already unfolding before my eyes and how amazing it would be, and I got so many ideas for stories of my own. I also like the layout; it's pretty and punk. But I don't like the lack of paragraph spacing. It needs to be double spaced, as you can see in the rules under story content. Just a heads up for the future.
All I can think is that I am going to die, in a closet, with a hoe. - epic line, right there lol I also really liked (in the area around the line quoted above) how you described the anxiety and fear. It was just really clear and I felt like I was experiencing it too, so good job :) The highlighting of important lines in a different colour is something I've never seen before, but I think it worked nicely. Another thing you could look into using is semi-colons (;). For example, one could be used in this sentence instead of the comma: I couldn’t wait to see Zack, he was supposed to be picking me up. There were a few other times that would have suited a semi-colon better than a comma too.
When I read Zacky had a wedding band on his finger, I felt so disheartened. I figured he wasn't interested in Brian at all and had moved on. :( That and the women's perfume.... It was crappy. The hints just eating away at me.... Zack quickly pulled away but before he could get too far, thinking I was having a panic attack. I reached out and grabbed his hand. - these sentences were a bit jumbled up. I think you should reword them a bit, perhaps into: Zacky quickly pulled away, thinking I was having a panic attack, but before he could get too far I reached out and grabbed his hand. You also spelled "panicked" wrong.
I was so confused about the wedding ring when you said it was his father's, but I was so overjoyed when it was explained and Zacky was heading back to Brian. And just when I expected a wonderfully wrapped up in a bow happy ending, boom, Brian's on the floor and I'm just back to freaking out lol And then finally, a lovely ending :) Just makes you all gooey on the inside :) Lovely story. You obviously used the prompt well and had a ton of romance and didn't overdo the slash aspect. Well done :)
All I can think is that I am going to die, in a closet, with a hoe. - epic line, right there lol
I also really liked (in the area around the line quoted above) how you described the anxiety and fear. It was just really clear and I felt like I was experiencing it too, so good job :)
The highlighting of important lines in a different colour is something I've never seen before, but I think it worked nicely.
Another thing you could look into using is semi-colons (;). For example, one could be used in this sentence instead of the comma: I couldn’t wait to see Zack, he was supposed to be picking me up. There were a few other times that would have suited a semi-colon better than a comma too.
When I read Zacky had a wedding band on his finger, I felt so disheartened. I figured he wasn't interested in Brian at all and had moved on. :( That and the women's perfume.... It was crappy. The hints just eating away at me....
Zack quickly pulled away but before he could get too far, thinking I was having a panic attack. I reached out and grabbed his hand. - these sentences were a bit jumbled up. I think you should reword them a bit, perhaps into: Zacky quickly pulled away, thinking I was having a panic attack, but before he could get too far I reached out and grabbed his hand.
You also spelled "panicked" wrong.
I was so confused about the wedding ring when you said it was his father's, but I was so overjoyed when it was explained and Zacky was heading back to Brian. And just when I expected a wonderfully wrapped up in a bow happy ending, boom, Brian's on the floor and I'm just back to freaking out lol
And then finally, a lovely ending :) Just makes you all gooey on the inside :)
Lovely story. You obviously used the prompt well and had a ton of romance and didn't overdo the slash aspect. Well done :)