A Chuisle mo Chroi

Stepping out into the glasshouse, I had been expecting to see the usual getup; the photographer, the white lights, some miscellaneous props, and the occasional green screen.

I hadn’t been expecting to see her. And I knew it was her; I could tell with just a glance, the memory of her running away from me last night still fresh in my mind.

She was saying something, calling out to me even, but I couldn’t hear what she was saying. The beating in my chest thumping so loudly, drowning the sound of her voice; it pounded against my eardrums, so impossibly loud, I couldn’t help fearing she heard it too.

Turning away from the glass wall, she spun around facing me. The smile she just had on vanished from her lovely face. Instead she paled at the sight of me and stared, obviously just as surprised to see me.

When our eyes met, it was almost as if time had stopped. I could feel the ground slowly come to a halt as it paused for a moment, no longer rotating on its axis. Even the relentless snowfall ceased to fall; innumerable snowflakes frozen, hovering in the air as if attached to invisible strings that hung from the clouds. Everything remained motionless, not a single sound from outside the glasshouse could be heard; like the world was on mute.

I knew this would happen. It was exactly how I imagined the moment we met would be; the scenery had been different, but that wasn’t important. What I didn’t imagine was Jax looking so terrified to see me. I had thought our meeting would be a little bit more romantic and that we would be extremely happy to see each other, but that didn’t appear to be the case.

Setting the basket in my hand down on the floor, I moved closer towards her. “Jax?”

She blinked, unsure. “Niall.”

I grinned at the sound of her voice; it was even lovelier than through the phone. Already, I felt myself wanting to hear it again. Suddenly, the memory of last night flashed through my mind, transforming the smile on my face into a frown.

Curious, I asked her, “Jax, why did you lie to me?”

“What do you mean?” she countered, avoiding my eyes.

Nervously she shuffled her feet, eyes focused solely on the ground. I couldn’t help, but peek down at her shoes, thinking maybe I’d discover what she found so fascinating. There was nothing other than our two pairs of shoes planted firmly on the ground; hers less firmly planted and more fidgety.

Looking back up at her downcast face, I rephrased the question. “Why did you tell me you weren’t going to our concert?”

“I don’t know,” she whispered softly to the ground.

“Did y-” I hesitated, stuttering, “Did you not want to see me?” I finished, feeling myself die a little inside.

“No! No, that’s not it!” she exclaimed, briskly shaking her head as she finally looked up from the floor.

Gazing directly into her chocolate brown orbs, I sighed, “Then what is it?”

Frowning, she dropped her head again, mumbling to the floor. “I guess I was just afraid.”

Placing my hand beneath her chin, I gently tipped her face back up towards me, catching her eyes.

“What are you so afraid of?”

She turned away, walking out of reach, distancing herself further from me. It hurt enough when she ran from me last night, but it was nothing compared to the pain that struck my chest as she moved away from me a second time. I could feel my throat begin to tighten, making it harder for me to swallow.

“Okay.” I said, struggling to keep my voice from breaking.

Jax spun around, hearing my voice crack. I glanced at her, wanting to memorize each and every feature before leaving, but I couldn’t see past the blur. Fighting to focus my sight, I blinked back the tears, holding them off just a little longer.

“I guess this is goodbye,” I stated, turning to head for the door.

Taking heavy steps, I dragged my feet to the door; walking away from the only girl I have ever been able to be myself with. There was no other girl for me, she was the one; I had thought it was a possibility after several months of correspondence, I had even hoped that I was right, and then last night I knew the moment I laid eyes on her. How ironic that I would fall in love at first sight with a girl who couldn’t even stand the sight of me.

I was merely a few feet from the door, when I heard the rushed pounding of feet against the rooftop and a pair of slender arms wrapped around me from behind.

“Wait!” she shouted, squeezing me tightly. Then lowering her voice to a whisper, she pleaded, “Don’t go.”

“I thought you wanted me to go,” I stated, attempting to turn around and face her, but she wouldn’t let me.

“I never said anything like that,” she declared, speaking into my back.

“But you turned away,” I replied, still trying to turn in her arms, but she wouldn’t budge. “Why won’t you let me look at you?”

“No,” she murmured, I could feel the shake of her head between my shoulder blades. “I turned away because I didn’t want you to stare at me when I tell you why I lied.”

Ceasing my movements, I questioned, “Why?”

“I’m embarrassed,” she admitted quietly.

“I won’t turn around then,” I promised.

Hesitant, she relaxed against me, her grip loosening, but not unwrapping from around me.

“I’m sorry I lied,” she apologized, her voice laced with sincerity.

“Just don’t do it again,” I requested, circling the pads of my thumbs on her hands reassuringly.

She nodded her head against me, bringing a lift to the corners of my lips as I envisioned the pout on her face, much like that of a scolded child.

We stood there for a while, neither of us speaking a word, the silence engulfing us and filling the little glasshouse. I waited patiently, allowing her all the time she needed to gather her courage.

“I was afraid of meeting you,” she confessed, “But not for the reasons you may be thinking.”

I nodded my head, encouraging her to carry on.

“I-I,” she stammered, taking a breath to steady herself. “I guess I thought that once we met, things wouldn’t be the same between us. That we would become distant and eventually stop being friends altogether, that we would move on with our lives as if we had never entered into each other’s. And I don’t want that to happen,” she cried.

“You daft girl,” I chuckled affectionately, breaking my promise and spinning around to face her. “That’s never going to happen,” I declared confidently.

Peering up at me she sniffled. “How do you know?”

“Because Jaxin, I could never forget you.” I grinned, bopping her on the tip of her nose.

The ends of her mouth tilted skyward, her pretty smile gracing her already lovely face.

“And,” I continued, becoming more serious than ever, “I will never find another girl who makes me feel the way you do.”

Wide eyed, she stared at me like a doe with her huge, cinnamon brown eyes, a light tint of rosiness spreading across her cheeks.

Shyly, she averted her gaze to our feet once again, speaking under her breath. “You make me feel the same way too.”

Peeking back up at me from beneath thick lashes, the blush of her cheeks darkened further, making her look even more beautiful. Unable to control myself, I leaned down, softly touching my lips to hers, kissing her lightly.

Breaking the kiss, I smiled happily as she covered her face with her hands; the warmth of her cheeks a lovely, bright shade of red. Pulling her hands away from her face, I laced my fingers through hers, holding her tinier hand in mine.

“Let’s get out of here,” I said, leading her towards the door, absolutely giddy and wanting to spread the news of our newfound relationship.

The doorknob wouldn’t twist, jiggling it a bit I realized we had been locked out.

“What’s wrong?” Jax asked, trying to twist the handle with her free hand.

Laughing, I replied, “They locked us out. It’s very clever of them really, this whole thing.”

Jax laughed as well. “They set us up. Sneaky, sneaky.”

Remembering the basket the guys had forced me to bring, I finally understood why they stressed that I needed to take it with me.

Directing her attention towards the basket, I suggested, “How about we have a picnic?”

Spotting the picnic basket, she smiled. “Yeah, I’m starving!”

Grinning at her honesty, I agreed, “Me too.”