Three Cheers

I had taken a nap with a heavy feeling in my heart, and my stomach twisting. I woke up by Gerard pulling me onto his lap once again. I groaned slightly, peeping my eyes open, "Gee?"

"Sorry I moved you. I went and got the mail Frank left for me. There's something I wanna show you since you're up."

I rolled my eyes playfully, "You woke me up."

"Yeah, again, October, I'm sorry." He pulled me up, smiling, "Look at this." He handed me an envelope that had been sitting beside him.

"What's this?" I asked, taking it from him.

"Open it." He urged happily.

I looked at the envelope, still adjusting my eyes to the light. I looked it over, seeing it was from the Family Services office in LA. I raised my brow, opening the already ripped top and pulled the folded papers inside.

I unfolded them all together, and began to read: "To Gerard A. Way; We are happy to inform you that you've been approved in legit legitimizing legal parenthood to Busy Marie Fredrick." 

I looked at Gerard, "What?" I asked dumbly.

"A couple weeks ago, I saw that Busy's last name wasn't Way, and I also found out that she was an Illegitimate child. She wasn't legally my daughter, so I legitimized her. Now, she's Busy Marie Fredrick Way."

I had this weird rush in my body, I was overwhelmed with happiness and whatever depression I had was minimized in that moment. I looked at Gerard, I didn't think much when I just wrapped my arms around him and pressed my lips to his temple, "Oh Gee." Were the only words I could utter.

Gerard squeezed his arms around my waist, his lips pressed to my forehead, just holding me, no reply. I felt like crying, but I held it in, holding him tighter. He leant his head to my shoulder, "I love you." He finally said.

I murmured back, "I love you, too. Thank you."

"I wanted to. She's my baby." He said this all softly, happily.

"I should've done that a long time ago." I told him, "I never thought about it."

"Well, it's done now," He looked at me, his lips close to mine, "Is it too cheesy to say that we're a family now?"

I laughed, "Not really." I kissed his lips, "This is amazing."

"Yeah, we don't have to worry about shit in the future." 

I was happy about the little legal thing he took care of. None of it accrued to me before, and I let it all rule over my depression. I let my feelings disappear for a moment, I even fell back asleep, letting Gerard hold me.

Again, I was awake by shifting. Only, this time, it was my baby girl. Her big hazel eyes gazing at me, "Mama."

I smiled, sitting up, "Hey, sweetness."

"Hi mama." I pulled her onto my lap.

"Did you have fun?"

She hummed, "Yes, I missed Happy."

"He missed you, too," I kissed her head, "Where's daddy?"

"Talkin' with Frankie," She explained, "Happy sleepin'."

"Where is he?" Busy pointed to his doggy bed, where Happy was sleeping, "Aww, how cute."

Busy giggled, "He lazy, mama."

I chuckled, "Maybe he's just sleepy like me."

Busy looked at me, "He sick?"

"No, baby, maybe he likes to nap." I didn't want to scare her.

She yawned, "I sleepy, too." Busy curled up, curling her knees up, her thumb went straight into her mouth and one of her hands grabbed my finger to hold.

"Take a nap, baby." I told her, placing a soft kiss on her head.

Busy hummed, her soft breathing grew tired and a bit heavy. I wrapped my arms around her, holding her close. Gerard came in a few minutes later; "Shit, she's asleep?"

I nodded, "Yep."

"Frank told me she didn't eat much." Gerard sat down, "Should we wake her up?"

"Let her sleep for an hour," I told him, "She's tired."

Gerard gave a nod, "Are you tired?"

I shook my head, "I'm fine."

Gerard kept looking at me, his hand touched my forehead, "You sure?"

"Positive," I shooed his hand away, "I'm okay."

Gerard smirked, pulling his hand away and leaning back. He smiled, though, "She's cute when she sleeps like that."

I laughed softly, "Yeah, she is."

Gerard let out a small sigh, "I'm gonna go cook, it won't take long, I want you to eat, October." He told me this sternly.

I rolled my eyes playfully, "Yeah, sure." 

Gerard got up, shaking his head at me, and headed towards the kitchen. I rubbed Busy's back, still harboring away my feelings.


My depression came back that night, and I seemed to sink away from Gerard as I fell asleep. When I woke up the next morning, it was like a mission to keep away from Gerard. I didn't want to be around him, it keep playing in my mind that he didn't want me.

No matter what, that's all I felt about him. Gerard didn't want me.

So, the next afternoon, I took Busy out while he was sleeping. I took her clothes shopping, and then grocery shopping. She didn't seem to mind that Gerard wasn't with us, or that Frank was going to take her to the movies later.

Upon returning home, Gerard wasn't there. I had mistakenly left my phone on the counter. He left me a note, saying that I should remember my phone and to call him when I returned. I didn't want to call him; I was angry with him, and I knew that my anger was irrational. I shouldn't have been so upset, but I was, I didn't want to talk to Gerard for a while.

"Mama, can we go to the park?" Busy had tugged on my shirt after I had fed her.

I looked at her, "Yeah, sure, baby. Go get your shoes on."

Busy grinned and ran off I get her shoes. I got up and put my shoes on, too, and Busy ran right back. "These?"

She handed me her little purple converse, "Yep. C'mon, lemme put them on you."

Busy sat on the couch, I began to put her shows on just as the front door opened. I inwardly groaned, knowing that it was more than likely Gerard. 

"Daddy! Uncle Frankie!" Busy yelped, having looked at the door.

"Hey, baby girl," Gerard rushed over, "October, why'd you leave your phone?"

"I forgot it," I told him, "I had to get some stuff."

"We buy food!" Busy exclaimed, "And, mama buy me tights!"

I didn't respond as I tied her laces and let her rush over and jump on Gerard. Frank leaned over the couch, "You still wanna see a movie, Biz?"

"Yes!" She turned to me, "Mama, come with me."

I didn't refused, I stood up, "Yeah, okay, baby."

Gerard looked at me, thoroughly as we all began to leave. I kept glancing away, I didn't want to even look at him. 

In the car, he ushered me to the front passenger side door and let Frank strap Busy in. Gerard took my arm, "October," He hissed, "What's going on?"

"Nothing." Was my simple reply.

"Don't start this shit again," He snapped, his hand began squeezing my arm, "What the hell--"

I pulled away from him, "You're hurting me!" I hissed back, "Leave me alone." I opened the door and slipped in.

Gerard was still staring at me, he walked away, eyes following me, and then got in. His eyes, they were swallowing me whole, trying to opened me up, but I won't. I just didn't want to talk.

My mind is in a hole, my emotions are back and forth, I really want them to stop.