Burning the Rulebook on Romance

I checked into the closest hotel and collapsed onto the double bed immediately. I was far too tired to faff around with this cast in the shower so skipped it all together. The day had been more draining than if I'd spent it doing lessons with work outs in between. My head began throb with the continuous whirlwind of thoughts about Max and I struggled to find a defined answer for some time. Sleep was held off by it all even though it was all I wanted and needed most. I decided that if he chose to detox then I would take him home with me to do it. Leaving him here in hopes he was strong enough to do it alone was not an option. Even though he had stabbed me through the heart I saw his desperation and somehow it hurt more. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I didn't try.
Even after deciding this it still took me hours to sleep as I refreshed my memory of that past struggle.
My eyes opened to a brightening room the next morning and with delayed reaction I rolled off my cracked wrist sucking in breath through my teeth. Damn that hurt. It wasn't the ache or the sun that woke me though, it was a knocking at my door.
“Just a second,” I groaned. I hadn't really packed as such for the trip so I struggled to pull my jeans back on from the day before, glad that I’d taken a piss on fashion trends and been living in relatively baggy jeans as opposed to the skinny style. I hadn't bothered to take off my tank top all night so I was a mess but there was no fucks to be given.
“Y’ello,” I opened the door and peeked around it.
“Hey,” Max almost muttered at the floor. He had a crumpled duffel bag to hand which appeared to be half full and an aura of shame.
“Come in,” I stood back from the door and he stepped through. “So…what’s your plan?”
I sat down on the edge of my bed and looked for the pain killers the doctor had given me. They were quite mild but it was better than nothing.
“I’m…ready. I want to do this.” He spoke with evident difficulty.
“You’re going to come with me without a fight?” I questioned, followed by a deep breath. He stayed silent for a little while. “If you’re feeling ashamed or something then don’t, it’s not worth it. I’m not playing a martyr here,” I got up to find my phone. I was trying to be nonchalant about all this so he didn't continue looking sorry for himself.
“I’m coming with you.” He said finally.
“OK,” I spoke resolutely and went to brush my teeth. “Lets do this,” I nodded and threw my few things back into my bag.
We got to my car and a grabbed my door handle but Max interrupted. “You shouldn't be driving yet should you.”
“I’ll be fine. Besides we’re stopping before we leave the city and you’re getting the coffee. I can’t trust you not to steal my car.”
At this he looked expectantly offended and in no state for jokes, but I wasn't sure how much I was joking. “Get in,” I nodded as I slipped in behind the wheel.
During the long journey we didn't have much to say but I filled the silence with the records we used to listen to when we were kids and I believed that to be the most warming thing I could do. Those songs had all the good memories with them.
“Remember that time we duct taped Rob to the table in Ronnie’s back yard after he’d passed out and when he woke up we convinced him he’d been asleep for five days” I smirked.
“Yeah,” Max looked up with the sorrow faded a little, “and when he figured out we were lying we chased him down the road shooting him with paintball guns,” he actually smiled.
“And that camping trip when Bryan had been hassling up all night so we sewed the tent shut on him,” I reminisced.
“He couldn’t rip it because it wasn’t his…who did it belong to? He was scared of getting into trouble for it.”
“Dude I have no idea.”
A little awkward moment came over us so I slipped the track playing onto one of our first albums that we shared and tried to think of other things.
I needed to get Eve out of the apartment for a few days now, and that was gonna be a task in itself, never mind taking care of the mess in my passenger seat.
Just outside of Vegas I pulled into a stop with a diner and convinced Max to go get us some cokes or whatever so I could call Eve and give her a little warning.
“Heyyyy ‘Kota. How’s it goin’?” she answered tentatively after a couple of rings.
“Hey, everything fine,” I paused a sucked at my teeth a little, still unsure of how to phrase what was going on, “listen, I’m nearly home, be maybe an hour. I uh, I have Max with me and he’s going to stay for a few days. Might need you to take a few of the classes for me and, uh, it might be better if you stayed with someone for these few days. That is just a suggestion so don’t jump down my throat.” I told her peacefully.
There was silence and this was worrying. I had to check the call was still connected because the pause took so long.
“I’ll talk to you when I get back then. See you later,” I spoke again and paused but there was still no response so I hung up.
From her point of view I was probably behaving like a tool but I was doing my best with what I had and needed her compliance and support.
When Max and I arrived at my apartment it was empty. I got him to sit in the living room while I checked everything out. I found a note from Eve on the kitchen counter that said she’d be back in a few days and was staying with a friend, that I was to call her about classes and let her know what was happening and that she accepted that it was none of her business what I chose to do with my time.
This was uncharacteristically chilled of her and almost eerie.
“Can I see what’s in there?” I asked Max when I returned to him on the sofa, motioning towards the bag he’d brought along.
“There aren't any drugs in there. I got rid of it all if that’s what you want to know.” He responded looking a little sicker than when we left LA.
“I need to see for myself, you understand that I can’t trust you yet,” I said sadly.
“I could have it anywhere on my person if I wanted to bring it,” he huffed childishly.
“OK, look, you came here to get clean. If you don’t want to get clean then don’t waste our time. ‘One more’ will not do. Your choice.” I shrugged and went to make some food of some description.
Nobody ever wants things like this for themselves or anyone they care about. A part of me was struggling to cope with the situation and I wanted to disappear and leave it all so someone else. My mind was a muddle of feelings and I just wanted some light back.
I told Max to let me know if he needed anything otherwise I was going to be in my bedroom. Some dated pop music was playing as I stared at the ceiling tracing all the patterns of the aertex. I began to wonder if I was doing this for more reasons than were on the surface. Did I feel something despite all the history? If I did I was in absolute denial which was a sad state of affairs but if it were so then denial and refusal was the only way I would make it out alive. I couldn't let him take me after everything. All I could see was has sad desperate face in my mind and surely enough I began to cry myself to sleep.